Deal Breakers
We've all had relationships that've failed before...for lots of different reasons, but some of these are because of 'deal breakers'. You know what I mean. The thing that no matter how hard you try, you know you'll just never be able to accept it.
What's your deal breaker/s?
Mocking intelligence. I don't demand that people be smart, but I demand that they consider it a good thing. This goes for significant others, friends, acquaintances... roll your eyes at the fact that someone knew something you didn't, or used a "big word," and you've got a permanent spot on the shit list.
When he says "we are getting a divorce" and "move out or I will" as that seemed to work. That's a deal breaker.
When I'd known my now husband for just under a week I said ...
"I'd love to go on seeing you but there are two things that are not negotiable: 1) I do NOT want children and 2) I am NOT moving from where I live.
He agreed straight away:grinnylov :joylove:
We got married four and a half years later. :hearts:
Deal breaker:
He spits out his car window, or on the sidewalk. Spitters need not apply. :lol:
I broke up with a guy once because he asked where I wanted to "set" in the restaurant. Well, he was also a namby pamby insecure "i've never loved anyone like I do you, please love me back" guy.
Mean-spirited character assassination attacks when arguing.
Do I have to choose just one? I have a LONG list.
Lying, infidelity, lack of respect for others, bad manners, bad personal hygiene, tendency toward violence...uh, those are just a few, I could probably list about 50 more.
We all deserve to be fairly picky, I think. :)
I broke up with a guy once because he asked where I wanted to "set" in the restaurant. Well, he was also a namby pamby insecure "i've never loved anyone like I do you, please love me back" guy.
My daughter has one of those right now. (Yeah, the 12 year old.) She broke up with him but he still sends her messages saying he loves her. (sigh) Oh wait, she has two of them, but fortunately one is long-distance. She met him at camp over the summer. He told her "you make my heart feel happy." ::groan::
This is what the future looks like.
When they say
"men are really physically/ dominant personalities
women are more emotional sexually and submissive
you are the same as any other woman
you just havent met the right man to bring it out in you
WOMEN HATE TO BE IN CHARGE
if you have to make decisions your get totally moody
you are genetically coded to want your partner to call the shots and be in charge
BLAH BLAH BLAH
certainly women would be better at talking an diplomacy than men in politics because they can relate to different parties
there is no way women can conduct war"
Yeah thats just PART of the convo. What an idiot.
Oh Juniper: good point on bad manners. If a guy I'm with treats our server like crap, or with indifference, or talks down to people, like he's better...he's likely to get a steak knife in the eye. Figuratively, of course.
I will make no deals, therefore nothing will break....If you don't buy a ticket, you don't lose.
Embrace your Inner Crone and heed no quarter! Or dollar, either! I've many deal breakers but really only one absolute must-have: Kindness.
@Shawnee----I once had a guy ask me, one the FIRST DATE, if I was "fixed," ya know, like in spayed. God, was he an idiot. WTF? Anyway, I told him, "No...as a matter of fact, I'm looking to have lots of children! Seven! Did you know the seventh son of a seventh son is magic..!?" and so on but he still kept looking at my tits.
What a maroon.
This is why I don't date! Only morons are out there. All the good ones are either gay or married Dwellars. ;)
Or giant liars...did I mention I hate liars?
Do I have to choose just one? I have a LONG list.
Lying, infidelity, lack of respect for others, bad manners, bad personal hygiene, tendency toward violence...uh, those are just a few, I could probably list about 50 more.
We all deserve to be fairly picky, I think. :)
Yabbut those are all (including the other 50) just common sense - not picky oh no sirree!
My list wasn't a deal breaker list, it was a deal maker list. One had to have the stuff on the list to be considered.
Low self esteem. People that need to be constantly reassured, coddled, and stroked. Usually these same people need to constantly shit on others to build themselves up. Huge waste of oxygen.
Deal maker: full of love
Deal breaker: wants to control me
Phonies:
Hair plants and other such stuff to be someone else...the kind of people who really aren't happy with themselves but pretend to have it all and need help to feel good.
I dated him. Twice.
Oh, and liars. Lying is the biggest deal breaker of all. Friends or loves...if you lie...goodbye.
dirty sheets /filth
free or two for one dinner / movie coupons to the exclusion of doing anything rather than spend money.
conceit
gluttony or selfishness
liers
and ditto what jinx and classicman said
Deal breaker:
He spits out his car window, or on the sidewalk. Spitters need not apply. :lol:
I have a funny story about this.
Dazza's best mate was sitting for his driving licence at about 18 yrs of age. He thought he'd be cool and spit out the window while doing the test.
Unfortunately for him, the window was up.
I think he might have failed that time.
I've never seen him spit ever. Maybe he learned his lesson.
Low self esteem. People that need to be constantly reassured, coddled, and stroked. Usually these same people need to constantly shit on others to build themselves up. Huge waste of oxygen.
Blammm-O! Jinx "get's it". Reminds me of old fat guys sitting around talking about a hot chick they see, and crticisizing her shoes. *vomit* *ralph*
Blammm-O! Jinx "get's it". Reminds me of old fat guys sitting around talking about a hot chick they see, and crticisizing her shoes. *vomit* *ralph*
[belch]Hell, what, you expect me to ogle some broad with dumpy shoes on? Fuck that. [/belch]
Mocking intelligence. I don't demand that people be smart, but I demand that they consider it a good thing. This goes for significant others, friends, acquaintances... roll your eyes at the fact that someone knew something you didn't, or used a "big word," and you've got a permanent spot on the shit list.
And Clod translates for me once again!
I read the OP and thought, "Deal breakers? Are we on Rikki Lake? I'd just love to be loved!" Then I remembered back to when I was considered attractive, and the truth was then as is now: is I can't deal with stupid, ignorant or inarticulate people. These days I get less offers, so that's why I've forgotten - but back in my heyday it was my biggest turnoff.
The list is pretty endless for me...but the truth is I don't think I am built for relationships lol. First flurry of excitement's lovely, but as soon as anyone starts to feel they have a claim on my time/attention/space or that they are somehow responsible for my state of mind/happiness...
Dating for a little was nice, but really I hate the idea of giving up my single life.
Things that were deal breakers last time (aside from the above) included: the constant buying of gifts, however well chosen; wanting to spend time with me (that's a sign right?); infantalising terms of endearment (I am not, nor am I likely to ever be anybody's 'little girl' *shudders*); wanting sex all the time; disappointing sex once past the first few weeks (only a problem on account of previous deal breaker); small cock (again a problem mainly because of the previous two); wanting blowjobs first thing in the morning; moodiness; only really interested in talking about stuff that he can be the expert in...though quiet and charming a lot of the time, had a tendency to embarrass the fuck out of me in public from time to time with something loud and inappropriate.
Mental instability.
Yep. Teh stalking.
Unfortunate thing about the crazies, you usually only find out about it after the deal's broken anyway.
Don't I know it Clod. You don't even have to be dating to deal with the wrath of a psycho.
Damn, this thread looks like my C.V. No wonder ... :greenface :sniff:
I thought you'd found your true love Zen...did something go wrong?
Well, yes, but my post was meant to be humorous.
This is reminding me of the movie Kissing Jessica Stein from a couple years back. (Summary: A nice Jewish girl from Manhattan starts to wonder if she's really a lesbian.) There's one part where you get flashbacks to all the horrible moments she's endured during dates with men... at least a couple of the "deal breakers" listed in this thread make an appearance!
I've seen that movie, SD!
I think I caught it during my "every cable movie channel available" days and was one of the indie films I caught. I love indie films!
This stupid thread makes me think of two guys, one I dated who I mentioned earlier. That needy thing a guy can get...that wishy washy demeanor. Nothing is more of a turnoff. There is a lot of middle ground between Mr Tough Guy Asshat and Mr Pantywaist Crybaby...there are a lot of guys I would like to encourage to find that happy medium, because both of the extremes make girls want to vomit! I'd almost deal with Mr Tough before Mr Wimp...at least Mr Tough will put up a good fight when I find I've had enough and wish to bonk him on the head with a fire poker. Mr Desperate will curl into a ball mumbling "how can you hurt me when I love you so much...booohooooooo" as snot rolls down his pasty face.
Yeah, wimpy guys suck. No guys, I don't mean NICE guys, I mean wimpy guys. Ewwwwwww
:lol:
PS I've never hit a partner with a fire poker, or even a frying pan, or even my own hand, wanted to clarify before this little joke gets the flame. ;)
There is a lot of middle ground between Mr Tough Guy Asshat and Mr Pantywaist Crybaby...there are a lot of guys I would like to encourage to find that happy medium, because both of the extremes make girls want to vomit!
So, would I be acting too sensitive if I offered you my hanky when you started to heave over my behavior?
That would be soooo sweet! ;)
No, I'm not drawing that fine a line...in fact it's pretty broad. Just don't act like sniveling desperate guy.
But I might put up with it from you, SD. [/blatant flirt]
:biggrin:
Well, yes, but my post was meant to be humorous.
I'm really sorry about that mate. I didn't mean to sound smart when I asked before. I was honestly just surprised.
As to the humour...of course I knew you were being funny, but you should know by now that I don't have a sense of humour. ;)
deal breakers:
1. if she calls the cops on me
2. pepper spray
3. biting below the belt
4. having male genitals
5.
bacne
6. trapping me 'up' on the see saw(outweighing me)
7. not liking Led Zeppelin, The Simpsons, and The Dallas Cowboys
8. being smarmy
9. living on a different continent
10. hating me
Deception is a deal breaker for me.
Not just plain old lying although I don't like that either, but really decieving me about something. Usually deception is employed with other behviours that affect a relationship anyway though, but it's the actual lying about things in order to get away with something that pisses me right off.
Raising a hand in anger. Even if the implied threat is never followed through on, just the fact that you THOUGHT about raising a hand in anger to me, to my child, or to anyone else is enough to get you shown the door. This goes for men or women.
That is not to say I disagree with a good spanking when appropriate for my child. HOWEVER, I will not spank her in anger. Ever. To do so invites the crossing of that line into abuse; an angry parent spanks to punish, not to discipline. But, that is a subject for another thread.
Deal makers: smart, funny, likes old movies, pretty face
Deal breakers: all the obvious things above. (They're pretty much all requirements for a good friend, anyway). Plus - smoking. My parents smoked when I was growing up. I hated the smell then, and still do.
Check
Check
Check
Eh
Crap!
;)
deal breakers:
1. if she calls the cops on me
2. pepper spray
3. biting below the belt
4. having male genitals
5. bacne
6. trapping me 'up' on the see saw(outweighing me)
7. not liking Led Zeppelin, The Simpsons, and The Dallas Cowboys
8. being smarmy
9. living on a different continent
10. hating me
Ironically, also jim's list of "what makes a good dominatrix"
step on my cubes!
/Stewie Griffin
Ironically, also jim's list of "what makes a good dominatrix"
You're right. I just saw that very list on Family Feud. They only used the top 5 answers, though, out of a hundred people surveyed.
When I was dating I had a list of immediate deal-breakers:
Guys that don't own any books, but a large collection of Maxim.
Guys that don't have paper or pens.
Guys that have no interest in art whatsoever.
Guys that think women hit on them, when they are not.
Guys that only like sports.
Guys that refuse to shake hands with who you are introducing them to. (knee jerk) *twitch*
Guys that mis-use common words, and act like you are dumb because you are a girl.
Guys that look at anything that walks by.
Guys that only love Jesus.
Guys that you are sure, seem like a pedophile or serial killer.
Guys that are masking heavily racist tendencies and tattoos.
Guys that have no need for literature and do not want to talk about books.
Guys that only watch action movies.
Guys that only get stoned and play video games.
Guys that act like you are stupid, because they are too dumb to understand what you are talking about.
There's more....
:)
Wow, this is like one of LJ's newbie quizzes...
Guys that don't own any books, but a large collection of Maxim.
How about a lot of books, and a large collection of Maxim?
Guys that don't have paper or pens.
What do you mean by "have?" I've purchased them, but actually locating them at any particular moment is iffy.
Guys that have no interest in art whatsoever.
I'm extremely lukewarm. I do like some Renaissance stuff, especially Flemish ones. Abstract and impressionist stuff is just a big yawn.
Guys that mis-use common words, and act like you are dumb because you are a girl.
It's possible I'm misusing words, AND your dumb.
Guys that look at anything that walks by.
Not me. (Just anything human and female.)
Guys that have no need for literature and do not want to talk about books.
I suppose that depends whether you consider science fiction to be "literature."
Guys that look at anything that walks by.
This one is unrealistic IMO. By implying that it will be enforced, you only encourage the male to be surreptitio
us or dishonest. That's not something you want to foster, especially when there's no payoff for you in doing so. We are a highly sexual species and there's nothing wrong with that. My wife and I look at everything that walks by, TOGETHER.
Lol!
Guys that think I am in any way talking about them, and I'm not.
Hey, I noticed you left some out there Dallas? What gives....I want your answers in full, or you fail. You don't just get to pick and choose on the quiz. :)
Hey, I like what I like...My dealbreakers are mine, if you don't likey, I don't care. :) I get to see some things in action, and if I don't like them, I don't like them. This one guy I know constantly checks girls out indiscriminantely, and then says something shitty about their shoes after he's done fully inspecting their ass....I don't like it. That's rude.
The guy almost has his nose at her butt, and then he wants to say something shitty about her choice of uggs. Piece of shit....:)
It would be better if he said something about her ass, though, right?
1) Raising a hand in anger
2) Unintelligent
3) Overly agressive
4) No respect for personal space or time
5) Constantly leaving messes for me to clean up
6) Expects me to be the perfect girly-girl
7) Closed or narrow-minded
8) Unmotivated
9) Immature
10) Alcoholic or drug addict
11) Unwilling to accept a child that isn't his
12) Hates dogs/cats/fish/birds/reptiles/horses/etc.
Yep... that's the nutshell version of my deal breakers.
Guys that think I am in any way talking about them, and I'm not.
Hey, I noticed you left some out there Dallas? What gives....I want your answers in full, or you fail. You don't just get to pick and choose on the quiz. :)
It was stuff I decided, in my role as The Man in the relationship, that you don't need to worry about. Really... don't worry.. I'll take care of everything.
This one guy I know constantly checks girls out indiscriminantely, and then says something shitty about their shoes after he's done fully inspecting their ass....I don't like it. That's rude.
I guess now's not the time to mention the young lady in the Uggs and the really tight pair of blue jeans who I saw on the way to work this morning. (I drive by the edge of a university campus on my way to work, and the morning rush hour is prime walking to class from off-campus apartments time.)
Saying nothing at all is the obvious choice. I don't want to hear it. It's easy to talk crazy about people from a distance. It's pretty easy, base, rude, and in bad form.
My dealbreakers are mine. You don't have to like them. :)
It's a good thing I'm not looking, because everyone I know exemplifies one or more of these bad qualities. Like someone's butt and body *slobber drool*, but think they are trying to make themselves look younger by they're choice of hat or shoes? I don't care, I don't want to hear about it. When I have to hear this stuff, the guy never had a chance with that person in the first place. It seems a little sad and pathetic. *shrug* :)
-eyes Cicero's butt and body- Nice... jeans!
Good thing I'm not a guy, I guess ;)
As long as you don't turn around, and act like I suck because of that hat I'm wearing.
Thnx. I do like my butt, especially in these jeans. You are doing it right. :)
I always say to Dazza, I don't care where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.
It works both ways. In fact, I think I do a lot more perving on other blokes than Dazza does.
My guess is Dazza does very little perving on other blokes. :)
That's true. lol But I don't think he looks at other chicks too much either. If he does, he's pretty surrepticious about it, but my bet is not much. I think it could be because my boobs are always on display. Why would he need to look at others? :D
Men who don't read are not a turn-off for me.
If I was writing a wish-list, they would not be on it, but three of the men I have been closest to started reading (at least more) because of me.
I also introduced a couple of men to poetry.
And I took three men out for their first meal in a restaurant without their familes. Okay I was younger then, but the oldest was 25 - his previous girlfriends had been students.
I also introduced two men to opera. Well - two who would listen to it again :) And more to musicals, just because I used to sing in the car and around the house.
I certainly don't believe that women should set out to change men - not at all. But I do believe that it is possible to share the things you love with the man you love without trying to be a female Dr Higgens. That's why my deal breakers are so few.
But what do I know.
:corn:
After having been married for almost 25 years, you just learn to put up with some shite. And it is cheaper than divorce.
I don't like men who don't put the toilet seat down. Yeah yeah yeah we could get into an argument about if its fair to make the man put the seat down for the woman, and then have to put it up for himself. My real issue is that I don't like public bathrooms (REALLY don't) and I have a weak bladder. So any seconds lost tryin to get on the toilet is that much more of a chance of an accident. So put the goddamn seat down so I don't pee myself, K? Thnx.
I would even call my ex to let him know I was on my way home so he would know to unlock the door and make sure the seat was down for me. He still didn't most the time b/c he forgot to, even after 2yrs of this routine.
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH, AND SIT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE PRECIOUS ASS ON THE PUBLIC TOILET, IF IT'S REALLY THAT BIG OF A PROBLEM TO YOU. EVERYBODY ELSE GETS IT DONE, ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A WEAK BLADDER. I'VE HAD IT, TWO GODDAMN YEARS OF BEING YOUR DOG. YOU CAN FUCKING PISS YOUR PANTIES AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. AND YOU CAN FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU THINK I'M DOING THE LAUNDRY. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL BE SURE TO GET UP AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN FOR YOU AFTER I'M DONE DOING MORE IMPORTANT STUFF. LIKE BEATING OFF TO YOUR SISTER'S PICTURE.
Oh I'm sorry, that wasn't me speaking. I was just thinking in my head what your husband wanted to scream all that time, but didn't have the nerve because he was stuck in some sort of sad passive-aggressive behavior mode.
[COLOR=White]
like i was in my marriage[/COLOR]
The toilet seat is a friggin deal breaker? Sound like you could be described as "high maintenance." Its a 50/50 issue - either its up and you need to put it down or its down and you have to wipe it off - your choice. :)
:lol2: UT, Classic. You guys crack me up. :lol2:
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH, AND SIT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE PRECIOUS ASS ON THE PUBLIC TOILET, IF IT'S REALLY THAT BIG OF A PROBLEM TO YOU. EVERYBODY ELSE GETS IT DONE, ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A WEAK BLADDER. I'VE HAD IT, TWO GODDAMN YEARS OF BEING YOUR DOG. YOU CAN FUCKING PISS YOUR PANTIES AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. AND YOU CAN FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU THINK I'M DOING THE LAUNDRY. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL BE SURE TO GET UP AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN FOR YOU AFTER I'M DONE DOING MORE IMPORTANT STUFF. LIKE BEATING OFF TO YOUR SISTER'S PICTURE.
Oh I'm sorry, that wasn't me speaking. I was just thinking in my head what your husband wanted to scream all that time, but didn't have the nerve because he was stuck in some sort of sad passive-aggressive behavior mode.
[COLOR=White]
like i was in my marriage[/COLOR]
How about this:
STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE I DO FUCKING EVERYTHING ELSE, YOU CAN DO THIS ONE DAMN THING FOR ME! EVEN IF I PEE BEFORE I LEAVE WORK (WHICH I DO) I HAVE TO GO LIKE A RACEHORSE BY THE TIME I GET HOME, I'M NOT MAKING A STOP TO PEE AT A GAS STATION ON MY WAY. SO FUCKING UNLOCK THE DOOR AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN. YES YOU WILL FUCKING DO THE FUCKING LAUNDRY BECAUSE ITS ALL YOUR CLOTHES. DON'T LEAVE YOUR DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK, CLEAN YOUR HAMSTERS CAGE BECAUSE IT STINKS. NO I WON'T FUCKING HELP YOU GET A JOB BECAUSE WHEN I OFFERED 2WKS AGO YOU SAID IT SOUNDED LIKE A SHITTY JOB. OH HEY HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF BEATING OFF TO MY SISTER'S PICTURE, HOW BOUT YOU TRY TO GIVE ME AN ORGASM FOR ONCE? SINCE YOU BASICALLY NEVER HAVE. YOU'VE BEEN MY DOG FOR TWO DAMN YEARS? I HAVE NO FRIENDS, AND WHEN I START MAKE SOME YOU GET JEALOUS AND ACT LIKE A SNIVELING BABY EVEN MORE SO THAN USUAL. WHY DON'T YOU STOP BEING SUCH A PASSIVE WUSS AND GET A LIFE.
Yes, that was me speaking.
UT and you should get together. I bet you would have great sex. :D
The toilet seat is a friggin deal breaker? Sound like you could be described as "high maintenance." Its a 50/50 issue - either its up and you need to put it down or its down and you have to wipe it off - your choice. :)
Nope its not 50/50 I have a weaker bladder, genetically. Women tend to have weaker bladders across the board. Yes I do pelvic floor muscle exercises, but no my bladder is most likely still weaker than yours. I'm borderline "urge incontinent" so when I gotta go, there is almost no warning, I don't have time to put the seat down. Guys don't
have to pee standing up (ask elz or my dad), so if you have to go right when you get the urge also, you can sit down if the seat is down. I can't exactly stand up to pee if the seat is up. My dad pees sitting down because my mom asks him too, she has the same issue as me, so that eliminates accidentally leaving the seat up. You make sacrifices to accommodate the conditions of the other person. If a guy isn't willing to make that very little sacrifice that makes such a huge difference to me, then yes that is a deal breaker.
Speaking of toilet seats...Dazza was pretty good at putting it down again till he went on his trip to PNG. After he came back, he seemed to find it impossible to remember to put it down again.
I don't care so much during the day, but now that I get up so much at night time, it's a real shock when I go in there and sit on the cold porcelain rim in the dark instead of the seat.
I admit it. I leave it down for her and the other two women in the house. I do it out of love. Not because it is the source of some pissing contest between two people.
Everyone should close the lid when they're done. And the tp should come over the top of the roll... /miss manners
Hahah wow it takes not even a quarter of a second to slam the seat down if you're about to piss your pants, one quick motion as you're pulling your pants down and turn around. The time issue is total bull no offense.
It's just the darkness issue for me. lol
Theres three guys in my household...Im just happy when they flush.
Hahah wow it takes not even a quarter of a second to slam the seat down if you're about to piss your pants, one quick motion as you're pulling your pants down and turn around. The time issue is total bull no offense.
I didn't realize we have this issue in common. I guess we both have our own expert and experienced opinions. :eyebrow:
I don't slam/drop the seat down, that's how things get broken.
I vote with Jinx. Close the lid.
MTP, gravity is on your side.
Ali, turn the goddamn light on.
Now, where do you squeeze the toothpaste tube? Middle? Top? Bottom? : music from jeopardy :
Because of the number of times I have to get up these days, I prefer to leave the light off and not wake up properly. TYVM!
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH, AND SIT YOUR PRETTY LITTLE PRECIOUS ASS ON THE PUBLIC TOILET, IF IT'S REALLY THAT BIG OF A PROBLEM TO YOU. EVERYBODY ELSE GETS IT DONE, ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE A WEAK BLADDER. I'VE HAD IT, TWO GODDAMN YEARS OF BEING YOUR DOG. YOU CAN FUCKING PISS YOUR PANTIES AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. AND YOU CAN FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU THINK I'M DOING THE LAUNDRY. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL BE SURE TO GET UP AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN FOR YOU AFTER I'M DONE DOING MORE IMPORTANT STUFF. LIKE BEATING OFF TO YOUR SISTER'S PICTURE.
Cookie!!
I don't so much mind the toilet seat being letf up. What really pisses me off, however, is the toilet seat being left down and then pissed on.
Nothing quite like getting surprised in the night by a fucking great puddle of piss all over the seat you've just plonked down onto.
The seat is not an issue in my household. I sit all the time anymore.
Not because of love or consideration but necessity...Those of us with Dressing Rings (Prince Albert piercings) have trouble aiming and it's easier to sit to pee than to do it in the bowl AND your feet.
I squeeze from the bottom, she squeezes from the middle. I don't complain, I just adjust and push it all up again, takes a moment only and it's not worth the argument, which SHE will win anyway.
I'm sure she has a list of things that annoy her about me, anyway.
Like dragging home stray dogs. Being a pushover for a puppy and hating to do dishes. When I was single, I ate off of paper plates or the pot it was cooked in to save cleaning. And piled the dishes in the sink until I ran out, then only doing what I needed. Slovenly, yes. But I did do the washing up before I left, anyway. Moldy dirty dishes are NASTY!
Brian
I don't so much mind the toilet seat being letf up. What really pisses me off, however, is the toilet seat being left down and then pissed on.
Nothing quite like getting surprised in the night by a fucking great puddle of piss all over the seat you've just plonked down onto.
Now this is completely legit. Fellas if you're going to stand up, lift the seat up beforehand or at least wipe it off when you're done.
Infidelity
Physical Aggression
Drinking/Drug Use
Crazy (although I can work with certain forms of crazy. I am a professional, after all.)
I think that might actually be it.
I don't care which end you squeeze the toothpaste from, and I'm not overly concerned about the positioning of the toilet seat ... he leaves it up, I leave it down, it's really about 50/50. Not changing out the toilet paper roll makes me crazy, but it's not deal-breaker level crazy.
I don't like the seat being left up because the cats will fall in. Seriously...they will jump up to the sink and not look first and in they go. Ohhh..I hate the cupboard doors being left open. Those I do slam shut.
Actual deal breakers: Religion, treatment (verbal and physical) of myself, daughter, belongings, family interaction is a big deal. Honestly, I'm used to being single even 1.5 years into my current relationship. Even though he now is my 2 y.o.'s dad I still act like a single mom so doing all the dishes, cleaning the house, getting up every morning with Miette doesn't really bother me. I support the household, pay all the bills (since it was my house he moved into) so I keep telling myself is it that big of an issue? There are things that bug me, like his picking on the cats, picking on Miette (she is 2, he sometimes acts 1), doors being left open, but actual deal breakers and probably standard for me.
Nope its not 50/50 I have a weaker bladder, genetically. Women tend to have weaker bladders across the board. Yes I do pelvic floor muscle exercises, but no my bladder is most likely still weaker than yours. I'm borderline "urge incontinent" so when I gotta go, there is almost no warning, I don't have time to put the seat down. Guys don't have to pee standing up (ask elz or my dad), so if you have to go right when you get the urge also, you can sit down if the seat is down. I can't exactly stand up to pee if the seat is up. My dad pees sitting down because my mom asks him too, she has the same issue as me, so that eliminates accidentally leaving the seat up. You make sacrifices to accommodate the conditions of the other person. If a guy isn't willing to make that very little sacrifice that makes such a huge difference to me, then yes that is a deal breaker.
I wa pretty much just kidding there MTP. What you are describing is a
very personal issue. I always leave the ring down, lid up. Its easier for me to just sit & take five and relax while I do my business. Standing up and having to deal with aiming isn't worth it for me.
Thank you classic for understanding that a medical condition is way more important than convenience for the guy. Also for not passing judgment on another's needs when you've never dealt with the situation. [COLOR="white"]*cough bullitt cough*[/COLOR]
Its not just about the toilet seat. Its about the willingness of my partner to make a tiny sacrifice to accommodate a major need for me. The toilet seat would just be a sign of further issues. And yes I am more than willing to make sacrifices for my partner.
I think "consideration" for your partner is up at the top of everyone's list. If he knew that you had "special needs" and chose not to respond accordingly, then he should have been gone long before "TWO FUCKING YEARS."
What took you so long?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL BE SURE TO GET UP AND PUT THE SEAT DOWN FOR YOU AFTER I'M DONE DOING MORE IMPORTANT STUFF. LIKE BEATING OFF TO YOUR SISTER'S PICTURE.
MY SISTER DIED ON 9/11 YOU INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!:D
oh, joke too old?
In any event, if she was hot, and there's a photo of her lying around, wellll . . ..
I don't like the seat being left up because the cats will fall in. Seriously...they will jump up to the sink and not look first and in they go.
(a) Set up a video camera and you've got a winner in the funniest home videos competition right there.
(b) I know cats aren't that bright, but surely they'll learn after a couple of times, right?
But I think there is a fair point emerging from all this. If your partner really really wants the toilet seat left a certain way, leave it that way for them. If you don't want your partner to be happy, or aren't willing to make a few small adjustments to your lifestyle for them, you don't deserve a partner.
I wish I could PM Ali's boys and tell them to do the glad-wrap-over-the-toilet-bowl-beneath-the-seat stunt. Probably best that I can't, I guess.
My cat fell in the spa a couple of weeks ago. I wish I'd had that on video. It was very funny.
At our house, the custom is seat down, lid down. Even so, I double-check before I put in or take out my contacts.... I have this horrible vision of dropping one and having it end up in the toilet (which is right next to the sink).
I wish I could PM Ali's boys and tell them to do the glad-wrap-over-the-toilet-bowl-beneath-the-seat stunt. Probably best that I can't, I guess.
OMFG - I was thinking the same thing and figured I would be safe 1/2 way around the world, but then I realized that Daryl travels here occasionally. Thats one knock on the door I wouldn't wanna answer.
In any event, if she was hot, and there's a photo of her lying around, wellll . . ..
well she was certainly hot on 9/11....
OMFG - I was thinking the same thing and figured I would be safe 1/2 way around the world, but then I realized that Daryl travels here occasionally. Thats one knock on the door I wouldn't wanna answer.
You'd probably be safe. I'm sure he'd be having a laugh about it anyway, all the while trying to act solicitous.
So why do women pee all over the seats in public restrooms?
So why do women pee all over the seats in public restrooms?
Because we can. And we hate other chicks.
It's a cruel feedback loop. Fear of pee propagates the squat & squirt method; which creates fear of pee...
It's nasty. The more co-ed bathrooms have become the more I encounter it. Guys pee on the seat some but those nasty chicks spray it everywhere, seat, floor, wall, tank. Why? Are these the same people whining about having the seat up or down?
And we hate other chicks.
I'm slowly starting to realize that this simple statement explains at least half of what I don't understand about women.
It's nasty. The more co-ed bathrooms have become the more I encounter it. Guys pee on the seat some but those nasty chicks spray it everywhere, seat, floor, wall, tank. Why? Are these the same people whining about having the seat up or down?
It is so disgusting and always makes me want to beat the living shit out of the ill-mannered whore that did it. Seriously, there are farm animals that make less of a mess than some women.
Pissing all over a bathroom stall = deal breaker.
Pissing all over a bathroom stall = deal breaker.
I know!~ I'm not going out with that chick, either! YUCK :greenface
I'm with both of you on that one.
-raises hand- Same here. But what I want to know is how the HELL they manage it. We sit down to pee, last I checked. WTELF!!!????
It's a co-ed bathroom, which I assume to mean that you lock the door when you're in. So, how do you know it's the women peeing on the seat? Don''t men's rooms usually have urinals? Could it be a guy who thinks he's peeing in the urinal so doesn't care about the seat? Is there a urinal?
Having said all that...I am at my most OCD when using the restrooms here...because yeah, some people, including women, are just plain disgusting!
I've never tried to hover over a toilet seat to pee. Having a pee is one of those small pleasures if you happen to own a bladder like mine, so why spoil it by trying to be contortionist?
Better to just sit yourself down and get nice and comfy and damn the consequences!
I'll hover over a porta-potty, those things scare me. But otherwise, I'm with Ali, sitting to pee is a natural pleasure.
I'll avoid porta potty's at all costs. lol Those things ARE nasty!
The ex dropped his cell phone down a portajohn... and went in after it. In his cammies. Which are no longer forest green now. -gag-
One girl at work peed on the seat and the awesome thing is another called her out on it. She said she hovers over the toilet. I am slowly finding out of many people that do that. I personally don't. There are so many germs out there, whats one more chance at getting one on my thigh(since that's what actually touches the seat).
Even if they hover, can't they have the courtesy to wipe the seat?
Ugh
It's a co-ed bathroom, which I assume to mean that you lock the door when you're in. So, how do you know it's the women peeing on the seat? Don''t men's rooms usually have urinals? Could it be a guy who thinks he's peeing in the urinal so doesn't care about the seat? Is there a urinal?
Having said all that...I am at my most OCD when using the restrooms here...because yeah, some people, including women, are just plain disgusting!
No one ever answers questions around here, even one so innocuous as "how do you know the seat-pissers?" :headshake
:D
I don't get too worked up about using public toilets. Butt skin is a good barrier against germs. Just wash your hands afterwards, and it's all cool.
Of course, if there is something visible on the seat, I'd take a little TP and wipe it off before sitting down.
Or hold it until you get home, to your own (hopefully) well scrubbed toilets?
That's a great idea...except for those pesky JOBS. ;)
Anyone that says, "I don't like the way you do things". (in general all the way around)
Ok, so you really aren't going to like it when I tell you to "go fuck yourself".
Oh hai. Bitter bag speaking...:)
You are the best darn bitter bag I ever did see!
I remember an old friend whose boyfriend had broken up with her and she told me once "I'm not done in the bitter barn yet. I'm going to play in the hay awhile."
I get that!
Anyone that says, "I don't like the way you do things". (in general all the way around)
Ok, so you really aren't going to like it when I tell you to "go fuck yourself".
Oh hai. Bitter bag speaking...:)
I suppose though, that if they didn't like the way you did things, then fucking themselves will probably bring them more pleasure anyway right? ;)
No one ever answers questions around here, even one so innocuous as "how do you know the seat-pissers?" :headshake
:D
D'oh! You expect too much! No one likes to be pinned down for their 'little exaggerations'. :D
No one ever answers questions around here, even one so innocuous as "how do you know the seat-pissers?" :headshake
:D
When you follow a female into the coed BR it is a bit obvious.
Hi. Hahaha. I'm much more slob than neat, but when it comes to the toilet, I always leave it clean. And I leave the lid down. A seat pisser is someone who hasn't yet succeeded at potty training. OTOH, someone else having a weak bladder is not my problem.
Back to the topic. I have never dumped anyone (or dated; honestly, I haven't tried much), so I have no much idea about deal breakers and stuff. Let's make a short list:
- Lies.
I'm known to be brutally honest about stuff, and I don't like people who keep trying to wash away the truth with lies and illusions just to make it look pretty. For that reason, I like it all natural. Keep the make-up to a minimum and don't ever dye your hair. Just be yourself.
- Excessive desire for material things.
If you can't live with just the basics, then I'm not the one for you. I'm poor anyways. Credit cards? Expensive gifts? Forget it. No need for shiny, useless pieces of rock or metal hanging from your body. True beauty comes from the inside, not from some primitive symbol of status.
- Being unforgiving.
Everybody makes mistakes, and people are prone to fail. It's very important to understand this and be able to forgive each other's faults. For instance, I'm known for being absent-minded and forgetting important stuff once in a while; it's a big problem to me, and I'm doing all I can about it. Some things are break dealers indeed, but for everything else, we can talk about it.
- Lack of trust and mutual respect.
Trust is fundamental in every relationship and, as I learned, is only lost once. I won't keep secrets from you so don't keep secrets from me. A closed heart is worse than a closed mind. Similar thing with mutual respect. We talk about what we like and we don't like, we learn about the what the other person likes or dislikes, and we avoid stepping on each other's feet; otherwise, we end up with something else instead of a relationship.
Oh, and this is a particular pet-peeve of me. I'm really fed-up of coarse "music" trash like reggaeton, cumbia villera (shantytown cumbia) and the like. I'm tired of telling my sister to stop putting that radio station while I'm there (and it's *my* house, so I should have a say). Everybody has their tastes, I like a lot of music from classical to sappy romantic ballads to most kinds of rock, blues, country, pop, hip-hop, funk, reggae, etc. No, I don't like thrash metal, punk, goth, emo or the like, either. Again, let's talk about it and find a common ground, or let's just forget about it and find someone else.
I was going to put "Stupid demands" there, but then it hit me. What for a person are just "stupid demands" could very well be "deal breakers" to someone else, so let's not be so quick.
Welcome locoluis! I believe you are our first Chilean. Someone correct me if I'm wrong...
Welcome locoluis! I believe you are our first Chilean. Someone correct me if I'm wrong...
Didn't someone have a Chilean over in the 2008 Dweller NSFW? If not, I'm sure Sheldon has had enough Chileans to make up for the rest of us.
Deal breakers?
* Control issues
* Honesty issues
* Arrogance
* Intolerance
Shortness of Stature.
How short is "shortness of stature"?
♫ Short people got no reason to live ♪
Bwa ha ha ha ha @ monster!!
Don't want no short short man....
I was only 18 when I married the first time around to a 5’2” pretentious bastard with a small dick and an even smaller self esteem… but I learned some pretty valuable lessons over that 10 year coma… and once I woke up(figuratively of course) I established that the following would never be allowed again.
1. Expectations that I will work a soul sucking job to support your drinking and carousing till all hours
2. Unwillingness to uphold your end of the housework agreement leaving me to pick up the slack
3. In ability to communicate problems, feelings, transgressions etc… since when does the excuse “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings” solve the issue that festers and becomes the base reason for pushing someone away?
4. LIES, LIES, LIES… they aren’t funny and I’ll still find out… so be honest. I don’t have to like the truth, but at least give me the respect and allow me the opportunity to decide for MYSELF if it is something I can live with or not.
5. Lack of desire to EVER have sex… if you didn’t want to fuck me you shouldn’t have married me
6. Infidelity- if you aren’t going to fuck me you certainly don’t get to fuck someone else… the hell is wrong with you?
7. Driving away my friends… you don’t have to like them, but you can’t stop me from liking them.
8. Teasing me to the point of harassment about my likes that are not your likes… I’m not you… get over it
9. Pretension and elitist attitudes… if you think you are hot shit and the smartest in the room… chances are … you aren’t. People can hear you and can understand the insults you mutter under your breath.
10. Physical and emotional violence. You hit me… I walk out the door.
11. Lack of appreciation. Appreciate all the love and consideration you are given… or someone else will…
Flint had a similar experience in our former marriages… but for him it was with an Amazon with bigger back tits than front, but same small self esteem… and essentially same scenario… he is just clearly smarter… he tolerated it for less than a year. So… we don’t have any of those issues with each other. After 4 years I still can’t think of any reason he isn’t the best catch out there…. Plus we are the same sort of goofball. But, if we hadn’t found each other… the above rules would apply to anyone I met.
Gee Pooka, your first marriage sounds strangely similar to the first guy I lived with (only for three years though, that was enough. He hit me one night while he was drunk, so I left the next day).
Oh... I left out... must be house trained...
I've never had this issue with Flint, but my ex repeatedly peed at the foot of our bed when he was blasted... it was truely bizarre... he was 7 years older than me and there I was chasing him to the toilet telling him "put it where it goes for chrissake"
What a dipshit!
WTF?
I was going to say that Pooka's list looked quite reasonable and that I know of several people who have had journeys like yours.
Then I saw that last post and I wonder why it took you ten years to leave.
I think it was mostly stubborn pride that prevented me from admitting I'd made a mistake... in retrospect I don't know either... change is never comfortable and I'm pretty persistant.
He didn't start the peeing until near the end... the first time he swore he was in the bathroom, but he was peeing on the wall in our room.
Well, on the bright side, he probably didn't leave the toilet seat up :D
Zen, that is fucking funny!
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