how can you be Bi?

lumberjim • Nov 2, 2008 1:04 am
if you have not actually had sex with both genders?
Ibby • Nov 2, 2008 1:04 am
how can you be straight if you haven't had sex at all?
lumberjim • Nov 2, 2008 1:08 am
how can i not be a millionaire just because i dont have a million dollars?
Crimson Ghost • Nov 2, 2008 1:23 am
Isn't it ironic, doncha think?
Juniper • Nov 2, 2008 1:32 am
How can you know you're not bi if you've only had sex with one gender?
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 2, 2008 1:44 am
Lack of desire to.
elSicomoro • Nov 2, 2008 1:46 am
Crimson Ghost;500067 wrote:
Isn't it ironic, doncha think?


It's like raaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaain on your wedding day...
Bullitt • Nov 2, 2008 1:57 am
sycamore;500073 wrote:
It's like raaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaain on your wedding day...


:banghead:
elSicomoro • Nov 2, 2008 1:02 am
It's a free riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide when you've already paid...

:D
Crimson Ghost • Nov 2, 2008 1:04 am
It's the good advice that you just didn't take...
elSicomoro • Nov 2, 2008 1:13 am
People, if they choose you, then they want you to decide
But you’d rather relax, kick back, enjoy the ride
There’s a category if you’re straight or gay
You’re a wild card gambler and you like it both ways

Everybody wants you when you’re bi
Looking at the girls and eyeing all the guys
Everybody loves you when you’re bi
But the tension and the passion’s double amplified

My lover told me, well, that she’s bi
I wanted to scream, there were tears in my eyes
She said baby, baby, don’t you cry
‘Cause the one I am with, you’ve been seeing on the side

Everybody wants you when you’re bi
Eating with the girls and laughing with the guys
Everybody loves you when you’re bi
But the tension and the passion’s double amplified

Everybody wants you when you’re bi
Feeling all the girls and touching all the guys
Well, everybody loves you when you’re bi
Well a friend of a friend of a friend told me
Everybody’s messed up with their sexuality
Well a friend of a friend of a friend told me
I need a closet big enough to live in
A closet for the whole world to live in
I want a closet big enough to live in
A closet for the whole world to live in

Everybody wants you when you’re bi
Loving all the girls and loving all the guys
Everybody needs you when you’re bi
But the tension and the passion’s double amplified

Everybody wants you [that’s right]
Everybody needs you [um-hum]
Everybody likes you [I’ll bet]
Everybody loves you

Everybody, yeah
Everybody
Everybody, come on now
Everybody, [not me]
Everybody, whoo
Everybody, yeah
Everybody, come on now
Everybody

Well everybody loves you

Bi
Licking all the girls
Bi
Licking all the guys

Everybody’s fucked up with their sexuality
You like it both ways
Like it both ways
Bi
NoBoxes • Nov 2, 2008 4:04 am
lumberjim;500063 wrote:

____________________________________________
[SIZE="1"]how can you be Bi?[/size]_______________________________

if you have not actually had sex with both genders?


Elementary, start out Trisexual and work backwards.

[COLOR="White"]Or not.[/COLOR]
Ibby • Nov 2, 2008 8:46 am
David Bowie wrote:
I'm trisexual. I'll try anything once.
Treasenuak • Nov 2, 2008 8:51 am
...twice if I like it.
Sundae • Nov 2, 2008 8:53 am
I used to think I was bi.
Then I had sex with a woman and realised although it was titillating, it was like having sex in an aeroplane toilet - fun as an alternative, but not for me long term.

I'd consider spending a night with a woman I found attractive, but I'd never consider a woman as my life partner. In fact after the first woman I did spend the night with another.

But I know I'm not bi-sexual. I hate the term bi-curious, but it probably comes closest to describing me. For the record, both of the women I slept with were of the same orientation as me - I haven't broken any lesbian hearts.
richlevy • Nov 2, 2008 9:12 am
Sundae Girl;500109 wrote:
I used to think I was bi.
Then I had sex with a woman
:mg:
Cloud • Nov 2, 2008 9:41 am
same way you can you be gay even if you've never had sex
Trilby • Nov 2, 2008 9:47 am
I'm bi for Sundae.

:)
morethanpretty • Nov 2, 2008 12:12 pm
Sundae- You're attracted to women at least some? So if you look at sexuality as something like a pH scale (that is how I see it). On the Acid end you have Straight, and the Base is Gay. If you fall in between (I think most of us do) then you are Bi to a certain point. So you might be like a 2 on the scale of attracted to women, but you aren't a 0 (straight), therefore you're bi.
Sundae • Nov 2, 2008 12:25 pm
I know some people see it that way. I don't - as I said, sexual activity with a woman is exciting because it's taboo. I only could people as bi if they are equally sexually attracted to either sex. I will never have a girlfriend or a civil partnership with a woman. I may yet have a boyfriend, although these days I think I'm pretty much asexual in practical terms.

That's not to say your definition is wrong, just that it's not one I apply to myself.
Big Sarge • Nov 2, 2008 12:53 pm
In my "social circles" bi-females are socially acceptable. In fact, I have dated a few. I never felt threatened by their dalliances with females.

As for bi-males, they remain pariahs.
SteveDallas • Nov 2, 2008 2:05 pm
morethanpretty;500157 wrote:
Sundae- You're attracted to women at least some? So if you look at sexuality as something like a pH scale (that is how I see it). On the Acid end you have Straight, and the Base is Gay. If you fall in between (I think most of us do) then you are Bi to a certain point. So you might be like a 2 on the scale of attracted to women, but you aren't a 0 (straight), therefore you're bi.

I thought 0 would be masturbation.
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 2, 2008 3:21 pm
Masturbation is having sex with someone of the same gender. :eek:
SteveDallas • Nov 2, 2008 3:23 pm
True, I guess.... where do Real Dolls come in?
Cloud • Nov 2, 2008 3:30 pm
Big Sarge;500170 wrote:
In my "social circles" bi-females are socially acceptable. In fact, I have dated a few. I never felt threatened by their dalliances with females.

As for bi-males, they remain pariahs.


as far as I'm concerned, it's the homophobes that are the real pariahs
Big Sarge • Nov 2, 2008 4:52 pm
The Deep South is not as open minded or progressive thinking in terms of sexuality as other parts of the US. Add to this a subculture of so called "macho" men that are found in combat arms units....see where I am going?
Cloud • Nov 2, 2008 5:17 pm
no.

very few things make me as furious as haters, of any stripe.
Cicero • Nov 2, 2008 5:26 pm
I dunno how to be bi. Describe it for me in great detail.
Sheldonrs • Nov 2, 2008 6:12 pm
Maybe some people are Bi at certain times, like when they are really horny and anything will do.

Sort of a Bi-Cycle. :D
Cicero • Nov 2, 2008 6:25 pm
morethanpretty;500157 wrote:
Sundae- You're attracted to women at least some? So if you look at sexuality as something like a pH scale (that is how I see it). On the Acid end you have Straight, and the Base is Gay. If you fall in between (I think most of us do) then you are Bi to a certain point. So you might be like a 2 on the scale of attracted to women, but you aren't a 0 (straight), therefore you're bi.


So...Are you saying that my dozens of exploits with women makes me bi? wtf?!? You are crazy!!! What the hell.
Elspode • Nov 2, 2008 6:30 pm
The Kinsey Scale addresses this in a quantitative manner.
Cicero • Nov 2, 2008 6:31 pm
I am not gay. Just ask my girlfriend.
Sheldonrs • Nov 2, 2008 6:54 pm
Cicero;500241 wrote:
I am not gay. Just ask my girlfriend.


I'm not gay either. But most of the men I have sex with are.
jinx • Nov 2, 2008 7:02 pm
I'm in with SG on this entirely... maybe there needs to be another term for those who have enjoyed same-sex sex but don't have a lack of preference as bi seems to suggest.
Sheldonrs • Nov 2, 2008 7:48 pm
jinx;500256 wrote:
I'm in with SG on this entirely... maybe there needs to be another term for those who have enjoyed same-sex sex but don't have a lack of preference as bi seems to suggest.


There is a term. It's called a college student. :-)
jinx • Nov 2, 2008 7:54 pm
Snort. I'd rather you call me bi than that.
LabRat • Nov 2, 2008 8:33 pm
I believe I brought up this topic in the sex thread eons ago.

Trying to define human sexuality is impossible IMHO.
ZenGum • Nov 2, 2008 8:47 pm
jinx;500256 wrote:
I'm in with SG on this entirely... maybe there needs to be another term for those who have enjoyed same-sex sex but don't have a lack of preference as bi seems to suggest.


Heteroflexual. Primarily straight but will make exceptions for special cases.


I think Real Dolls would have to count as buy-sexual.
jinx • Nov 2, 2008 8:55 pm
:lol2:
Cicero • Nov 2, 2008 9:05 pm
I never thought bi meant lack of sexual preference. Quite the opposite.

I attribute that to asexuals. Lack of preference, lack of interest...just lack. I don't get it.

Kind of a luke warm approach to sexuality. They prefer not to prefer...I admire that but I think they are also f'ing freaks. ;)

I heard once that your true sexuality is entirely dependent on which sex you most respond to emotionally. Judging how much men piss me off, and I do them anyway..they win. If women pissed me off that much and made me cry, and I still wanted to get them in the sack, or let them get away with it, I would probably prefer women.

Who emotionally strikes you more? Then that be who dat is......If a woman gives another woman little butterflies in the stomach then you might be at least bi.

Women that do women just for the fun of it because women are hot, and why not? That's normal...You don't need another word for normal. If you are having an intense relationship with one and have sex regularly, you are at least bi.
lumberjim • Nov 2, 2008 9:07 pm
they're all hopped up on antidepressants, that's all.
LabRat • Nov 2, 2008 9:07 pm
Thanks for the new usertitle, Zen :D
Cicero • Nov 2, 2008 9:25 pm
oh and I am so ghey for lab, thanks for the reminder. Not just bi- like totally gayer than a foreign film lesbian from germany. Oh, and whip it! :) Ha haaa!!!
Big Sarge • Nov 3, 2008 3:30 pm
I think I'm falling for Radar. I wonder what that makes me?
HungLikeJesus • Nov 3, 2008 3:40 pm
Brianna;500133 wrote:
I'm bi for Sundae.

:)


Oh, that's what you meant when you said, "I'll be by on Sunday."
regular.joe • Nov 3, 2008 9:53 pm
Big Sarge;500541 wrote:
I think I'm falling for Radar. I wonder what that makes me?



Ridiculously queer.
piercehawkeye45 • Nov 3, 2008 10:26 pm
Besides the whole social taboo of it, I think being bi would be fun. I could have sex with ANYONE. Threesome would be much more easier, instead of just two girls I could get two guys or even a couple.

Personally, I can tell when a guy is good looking or not but I have never been attracted to a guy before.
Cloud • Nov 4, 2008 12:41 am
there's a taboo?
piercehawkeye45 • Nov 4, 2008 2:15 am
For guys to be bi, yes.
SquidGirl • Nov 4, 2008 8:31 am
You know...for me, there is something about licking a girls crotch that I'm just not into. I think that's how you know if your gender preference and what you don't like even if you haven't experienced it. I find women quite attractive and fully support lesbianism, bisexuality and trisexual ;) But it's just not for me. I'm a little jealous of those who can go down that path...they have so many more options...lol
Treasenuak • Nov 4, 2008 11:30 am
It's not really a TABOO anymore, per se, pierce. It's more an uncomfortable social wriggle. But a taboo denotes something forbidden, and male bisexuality no longer is such. Not opened with wide arms like female bisexuality or lesbianism, but at least it's not a sexuality that's going to get you blacklisted anymore. Unless you live in the bible belt. Then you're screwed. In the bad way.

(edit: Not WELCOMED with WIDE OPEN arms... sorry, blonde day)
Cicero • Nov 4, 2008 11:55 am
Yea it's taboo for everyone. Everyone knows that bisexuals are sluts. I know lesbians and gays that won't touch a bisexual. I believe it's actually more taboo than any sexual preference.
Treasenuak • Nov 4, 2008 12:28 pm
Ah. Interesting... I'm quite open about being bisexual (although that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a slut... I'm still very picky about my partners), and I've yet to encounter any bias against it.
morethanpretty • Nov 4, 2008 12:53 pm
Cicero;500879 wrote:
Yea it's taboo for everyone. Everyone knows that bisexuals are sluts. I know lesbians and gays that won't touch a bisexual. I believe it's actually more taboo than any sexual preference.


You're not really serious that that what you think right? We aren't sluts, just because we like both sexes doesn't mean we fuck everything with two legs. I am very very picky about who I sleep with, and unless you're a virgin, you're score isn't any lower than mine. I have recently had someone say the thought bi's were worse than homosexuals. Then I told them I was bi...yeah oops you just stuck your foot in your mouth. After I got through berating them (I was kinda pissed), they were very ashamed that they had thought I was slutty just because I can be attracted to either. If you're goin to assume someone is sluttier because what they're attracted to, than that goes for straight and gays too, some people just have a broader range. Its like sayin a woman is a slut because she likes men who are overweight and men who aren't. Mine isn't a very broad spectrum, just one of my main needs in a partner isn't gender.
Sundae • Nov 4, 2008 12:55 pm
Male bisexuals aren't trusted by my peer group at least.
Straight women don't want to date them because it's not just other women they have to worry about, and in general men are more into casual sex after all. Whose to say they won't hook up with a man after a night out drinking because you stayed at home?

Straight men don't trust them because there's always the worry that they might be eyeing them up and thinking sexual thoughts. At least with a gay you can trust them to take your girlfirend off your hands for a few hours. But who knows when shopping and girly gossip might segue into groping and sex.

And gay men are wary of anyone who might suddenly introduce a female partner into an all male group. Weird.

All of the above are genuine if generalised opinions I have heard about bisexual man. And that's leaving out the really prejudiced ones!
Flint • Nov 4, 2008 1:00 pm
What is your orientation if you're a straight guy, but you only go with bisexual girls?
Cicero • Nov 4, 2008 1:03 pm
I've seen it happen. A lot. Especially with the lesbos. In my younger days I spent a lot of time in gay bars. There was a "either you are a gay or not" attitude, and bi's did not qualify. People would approach me and ask if I was gay, outright. I would tell them that my sexual preferences were none of their business, as I did not know them, and that question is pretty personal. The reason they were asking was to see if I was "really gay or not" if I was just "bi".

It's a common occurrence for gays to shirk bi's because they want a stable relationship with another gay person. Sometimes they don't want someone that just wants a fling outside of their husband. So they do want to know if you are bi, if they are seriously intending to have a relationship. I understand.

I don't think bi's are sluts or any less gay than anyone else. But I will tell you that I have seen people discriminate, and name call about it. Because even gay people can act stupid.

Uuuh yes. In the gay community there is a bias. No one told you that they were laughing at you and not with you. ;) I'm not bi, so people can say anything they want to me about it, they can go ahead and tell me how they really feel. I don't give a damn....It's them that really care not me. lol! It is funny though. Watching gays discriminate. Fags don't like lebos, lesbos don't like fags, and they all don't like bi's. That's written somewhere in a bathroom stall, because I noticed that a lot of people are hip to those notions. They want a life-long commitment out of someone in the gay community. Outside of that, they probably don't take you very seriously.

I don't care if you are bi. I think everyone should be "sluts" if they want to, even myself. Just as long as they are safe. Being a slut has nothing to do with your sexual preference. But that's not how everyone sees it. I am saying that gay's don't see bisexuals as being, really gay. They write them off, all the time. I am sorry, I did not come up with these notions and I am irritated by those social rules, but it's there.

Oh yes. The gay parade is a united front. You should hear what they really think about it sometime. Don't tell people you are bi, tell them you are completely lesbo sometime, and mention those bisexuals. See what they say. Being ghey the longest and the best at it has become quite the competition. They think most bi's are laughable. I don't think so. But I don't make social rules for people, or follow them very well.
piercehawkeye45 • Nov 4, 2008 3:02 pm
Treasenuak;500862 wrote:
It's not really a TABOO anymore, per se, pierce. It's more an uncomfortable social wriggle. But a taboo denotes something forbidden, and male bisexuality no longer is such. Not opened with wide arms like female bisexuality or lesbianism, but at least it's not a sexuality that's going to get you blacklisted anymore. Unless you live in the bible belt. Then you're screwed. In the bad way.

(edit: Not WELCOMED with WIDE OPEN arms... sorry, blonde day)

Yeah, it is not forbidden but it is still rough on day to day life with smaller social situations. I would imagine your friend group would still be somewhat limited, at least a close friend group that would treat you as an equal.
Pie • Nov 4, 2008 3:02 pm
<aside> This is beginning to sound a bit like "Obama isn't black enough" and "He's too black for Joe Sixpack." Neither fish nor fowl.</aside>
Sundae • Nov 4, 2008 3:04 pm
Flint;500909 wrote:
What is your orientation if you're a straight guy, but you only go with bisexual girls?

Lesbian by proxy?
You could have a badge which says, My GF's Last Partner was a Pussy
SquidGirl • Nov 5, 2008 12:12 pm
morethanpretty;500904 wrote:
.... just because we like both sexes doesn't mean we fuck everything with two legs. I am very very picky about who I sleep with.....Mine isn't a very broad spectrum, just one of my main needs in a partner isn't gender.


I once heard from someone that they didn't fall in love with the gender, they fell in love with the person. The gender just happened to be one or the other at the moment.
Treasenuak • Nov 5, 2008 1:47 pm
That's very true, SquidGirl. Gender doesn't really matter to me... I fall in love with the person, the extra parts are just there. Yeah, it makes the sex a lil different, but those parts are not who the person is.
Iggy • Nov 8, 2008 12:47 am
I was raised in the bible belt (and still live there)... so pretty much anything other then completely straight was considered bi. When I was young I used to get embarrassed because of how I would look at other women... and get turned on my thinking about being with them.

I enjoy having sex with other women, though I haven't had many women partners. I have noticed that a lot of women that were "bi" just wanted to kiss me in front of men (since men are so turned on by women kissing), and when I wanted to go somewhere private to get really intimate, it never happened. Except for a few of my girl friends, who weren't necessarily open about. We did all our kissing behind closed doors... ;)

Around here, it seems like the more open women are about it, the less likely it is that they are really bi. Few of the people I know now know that I am bi, or at least consider myself such. The funny part is, the only reason they don't know is because no one asks. But I think some people have suspicions... especially the ones that catch me oogling another woman. The female form is just so beautiful.

I don't think I could be in a long term, exclusive relationship with a woman though. It feels more like friendship, with extras. My really close girl friends are always the ones I want to sleep with. It feels like an extension of our friendship... a physical act to show I love them, in addition to it being sexually satisfying. It is just different than being with a man. I love threesomes... I think it would be much more satisfying for me to have a long term relationship with a man and a woman than just a woman. I'm not sure how to explain it... But when I'm just with a woman, it just doesn't seem as fulfilling as when I'm with a man. Maybe that means I'm not really bi? I feel like I am though. I get too much joy out of the female body (looking and playing with it) to see myself as straight.
Pico and ME • Nov 8, 2008 2:56 am
I have a lot of admiration for the female form as well, but I'm not bi. I will catch myself appreciating female beauty a lot of times, probably even more that I do in males, but I have never considered having sexual relations with women. I probably would or could, it the opportunity presented itself, but I still don't consider myself bi. I don't seek it out.
lumberjim • Nov 8, 2008 9:55 am
Iggy;502379 wrote:
I I think it would be much more satisfying for me to have a long term relationship with a man and a woman than just a woman.



HMMM....do you do windows?




[COLOR=White]kidding, jinxie![/COLOR]
richlevy • Nov 9, 2008 7:26 pm
Iggy;502379 wrote:
I have noticed that a lot of women that were "bi" just wanted to kiss me in front of men (since men are so turned on by women kissing).
I am shocked, shocked, at such a slanderous allegation. You can go back to kissing, now.