Participatory Shin Experiment

HungLikeJesus • Jul 18, 2008 12:32 pm
Here's a fun experiment I'd like everyone to try.

Go bang your shin against something solid, like the edge of a wrought iron coffee table or your desk or the corner of your garage. Alternatively, whack it with a baseball bat or lead pipe.

Give it a few good smacks and report back on the experience.
glatt • Jul 18, 2008 12:35 pm
Just a sec, I'm pushing a sharpened pencil into my cornea at the moment. I'll do the shin thing after.
Griff • Jul 18, 2008 12:37 pm
I have a 1976 vintage aluminum bat divot in my left shin. I'm going to opt out of future research.
HungLikeJesus • Jul 18, 2008 12:38 pm
Griff;470012 wrote:
I have a 1976 vintage aluminum bat divot in my left shin. I'm going to opt out of future research.


It sounds like you borrowed money from the wrong guys.
lookout123 • Jul 18, 2008 12:39 pm
i'll see your shin experiment and raise you 28 kicking feet for a couple hours each week.
Sundae • Jul 18, 2008 12:50 pm
You know what?
Just seeing the title of this thread made me wince. I opened it hoping that my fears would be allayed. I forgot. This is the Cellar.

I have to say, shin injuries are nasty, but nothing clouds the vision like a good old whang on the knee. The temporary pain from even a minor collision is completely out of proportion to the actual injury and literally blinding. The whole body shrieks in sympathy.

I've stopped a car with my lower leg (still have numb spots on the calf) so I decline to participate in your experiment in case I wreck the curve.
lookout123 • Jul 18, 2008 12:55 pm
wince?
[youtube]bK1_dzlhW_w[/youtube]
Undertoad • Jul 18, 2008 12:58 pm
I have a heavy desk I could crunch my knee into for a while.
HungLikeJesus • Jul 18, 2008 1:11 pm
Undertoad;470031 wrote:
I have a heavy desk I could crunch my knee into for a while.


That's next Friday's experiment. Try not to get ahead of the lessons.
HungLikeJesus • Jul 18, 2008 1:13 pm
lookout123;470028 wrote:
wince?


I think just seeing the still image was sufficient.

Is this what you do for several hours each week?
TheMercenary • Jul 18, 2008 1:53 pm
Did that last fall. Only I hit it with a missed axe swing while chopping wood in the back yard for our out door fireplace.
lookout123 • Jul 18, 2008 2:45 pm
HungLikeJesus;470039 wrote:
I think just seeing the still image was sufficient.

Is this what you do for several hours each week?

I play soccer for several hours each week. well, when not prevented by injury anyway. That was an especially gruesome injury that could have been prevented. It actually whipped the soccer/football community into a bit of a frenzy.
HungLikeJesus • Jul 18, 2008 2:57 pm
TheMercenary;470053 wrote:
Did that last fall. Only I hit it with a missed axe swing while chopping wood in the back yard for our out door fireplace.


And now they call you Stumpy?

That sounds painful. Did you post pictures?
TheMercenary • Jul 18, 2008 3:01 pm
HungLikeJesus;470079 wrote:
And now they call you Stumpy?

That sounds painful. Did you post pictures?
I don't think I was on the cellar at the time, anyway, in my early days on the cellar I don't anyone here would have settled for anything less than total amputation.

:D
spudcon • Jul 18, 2008 4:00 pm
In the early days of the Cellar, they had to push their mice two miles uphill in the snow to post a reply.
Clodfobble • Jul 18, 2008 4:03 pm
I'm sorry, I'd love to describe the color and shape of the bruise to you and all that, but I can't differentiate it from all the other bruises that are currently living on my shins.
Cloud • Jul 18, 2008 5:28 pm
experiment? you need an experiment for that?
BigV • Jul 18, 2008 5:38 pm
Sundae Girl;470023 wrote:
snip--

I have to say, shin injuries are nasty, but nothing clouds the vision like [COLOR="Red"]a good old whang on the knee[/COLOR]. The temporary pain from even a minor collision is completely out of proportion to the actual injury and literally blinding. The whole body shrieks in sympathy.

--snip


**ALERT**

Highlight at your peril:

[COLOR="White"]
"No, Paul." She moved to the door and then turned, looking at him with that stony face. Only her eyes, those tarnished dimes, were fully alive under the shelf of her brow. "There is one thought I would like to leave you with. You may think you can fool me, or trick me; I know I look slow and stupid. But I am not stupid, Paul, and I am not slow." Suddenly her face broke apart. The stony obduracy shattered and what shone through was the countenance of an insanely angry child. For a moment Paul thought the extremity of his terror might kill him. Had he thought he had gained the upper hand? Had he? Could one possibly play Scheherazade when one's captor was insane? She rushed across the room at him, thick legs pumping, knees flexing, elbows chopping back and forth in the stale sickroom air like pistons. Her hair bounced and joggled around her face as it came loose from the bobby-pins that held it up. Now her passage was not silent; it was like the tread of Goliath striding into the Valley of Bones. The picture of the Arc de Triomphe cracked affrightedly on the wall. "Geeeee-yahhh!" she screamed, and brought her fist down on [COLOR="Red"]the bunched salt-dome that had been Paul Sheldon's left knee[/COLOR]. He threw his head back and howled, veins standing out in his neck and on his forehead. Pain burst out from his knee and shrouded him, whitely radiant, in the center of a nova. She tore the typewriter off the board and slammed it down on the mantel, lifting its weight of dead metal as he might have lifted an empty cardboard box. "So you just sit there," she said, lips pulled back in that grinning rictus, "and you think about who is in charge here, and all the things I can do to hurt you if you behave badly or try to trick me. You sit there and you scream if you want to, because no one can hear you. No one stops here because they all know Annie Wilkes is crazy, they all know what she did, even if they did find me innocent." She walked back to the door and turned again, and he screamed again when she did, in anticipation of another bull-like charge, and that made her grin more widely. "I'll tell you something else," she said softly. "They think I got away with it, and they are right. Think about that, Paul, while I'm in town getting your cockadoodie paper." She left, slamming the bedroom door hard enough to shake the house. Then there was the click of the lock. He leaned back in the chair, shaking all over, trying not to shake because it hurt, not able to help it. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Again and again he saw her flying across the room, again and again he saw her bringing her fist down on the remains of his knee with all the force of an angry drunk hammering on an oak bar, again and again he was swallowed in that terrible blue-white nova of pain. "Please, God, please," he moaned as the Cherokee started outside with a bang and a roar. "Please, God, please - let me out of this or kill me . . . let me out of this or kill me." The roar of the engine faded off down the road and God did neither and he was left with his tears and the pain, which was now fully awake and raving through his body.[/COLOR]

-- Misery, Stephen King

I had to put the book down, walk around the room and breathe deeply for several minutes after reading this passage. Even now, years later, I get the heebie jeebies from this chilling, nauseating memory.
SteveDallas • Jul 18, 2008 5:40 pm
spudcon;470095 wrote:
In the early days of the Cellar, they had to push their mice two miles uphill in the snow to post a reply.

Please. We didn't HAVE mice. :3eye:
TheMercenary • Jul 18, 2008 5:51 pm
Sundae Girl;470023 wrote:
I have to say, shin injuries are nasty, but nothing clouds the vision like a good old whang on the knee.

I would suggest that if you can find a guy with the ability to rest his "good old whang on the knee" you might consider dating him. Mine does not quite my knee, but it is close.

:lol2:
barefoot serpent • Jul 18, 2008 6:18 pm
%$#@&*%@!!!/hopping on 1 leg
lookout123 • Jul 18, 2008 7:05 pm
TheMercenary;470128 wrote:
I would suggest that if you can find a guy with the ability to rest his "good old whang on the knee" you might consider dating him. Mine does not quite my knee, but it is close.

:lol2:

dude, that's gross. In England, "whang" is a euphemism for hemorrhoid.
regular.joe • Jul 18, 2008 8:57 pm
I jumped out of a plane at 1250 feet yesterday and bounced my whole body off the ground. (I did use a parachute). The trip down was peaceful, the bounce on the ground sucked pond water with a crazy straw, I always hit like a sack of bricks.

Does that count toward your experiment?
TheMercenary • Jul 18, 2008 9:09 pm
regular.joe;470171 wrote:
I jumped out of a plane at 1250 feet yesterday and bounced my whole body off the ground. (I did use a parachute). The trip down was peaceful, the bounce on the ground sucked pond water with a crazy straw, I always hit like a sack of bricks.

Does that count toward your experiment?


I did that for a few years. See your PM.
HungLikeJesus • Jul 28, 2008 5:34 pm
Undertoad;470031 wrote:
I have a heavy desk I could crunch my knee into for a while.


Sorry, I forgot to post last Friday's participatory experiment.

Go crunch you knee against a heavy desk, brick wall, or the corner of your porch. Alternately, you can hit it with the claw end of a claw hammer, or with an ice ax. Aim for the center of the knee cap.

The Cellar awaits your report.
Elspode • Jul 28, 2008 9:01 pm
I regularly turn in my office chair and bring one knee or the other into unexpected and forceful contact with the descending edge of my desk, the part where the drawers are.

Here's my report on doing that on purpose...go fuck yourself, sadist. :headshake
zippyt • Jul 28, 2008 10:40 pm
Lets see Knee cap displaced by jumping off a Duce and a 1/2 with a 35 lb tracker from a Dragon

Both shins looking like I was in a fight with a midget with a Billy club from weed eating with a 4 stroke weed eater with shorts on ,

Got both of these covered ,

NEXT !!!
TheMercenary • Jul 30, 2008 12:26 pm
zippyt;472065 wrote:
Lets see Knee cap displaced by jumping off a Duce and a 1/2 with a 35 lb tracker from a Dragon

Both shins looking like I was in a fight with a midget with a Billy club from weed eating with a 4 stroke weed eater with shorts on ,

Got both of these covered ,

NEXT !!!

I see you saved the equipment from harm. Good job.
Pico and ME • Aug 5, 2008 11:52 am
Damn! I tried, but instead I stubbed my toe!!!!!!!!!!
HungLikeJesus • Aug 5, 2008 11:58 am
Pico and ME;473928 wrote:
Damn! I tried, but instead I stubbed my toe!!!!!!!!!!


That's excellent! I was going to post a toe stub experiment for this week. Sunday night, I kicked a cabinet with my little to so hard that it drove the nail right through the bone.

At least, that's how it felt.

I'm still limping.
Cyber Wolf • Aug 6, 2008 8:55 am
When is the Get-BodyChecked-By-A-Large-Dog Experiment going to be announced?

When you're 6'4" and built like a brick wall, maybe it's fine to have a Rottie who likes to jump into your arms but it don't work so good for someone who's a full 13 inches shorter than you... :help: