Game show time. What do you wish the people had won?
"Well Sister Agnes, you've won an all expense trip to Norway for the
Inferno Metal Festival!"
"Congratulations Mr. Cheney! You and your friends will be sailing with Rosie O'Donnell and all her friends to The Bahamas!"
Congratulations, Mr Vick, you've won two all expenses paid trips to The Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.
congrats, mr. west. you've won an all night boo-a-thon vacation to the underworld of pop-rap-crap product enhancement and rectum activity, and an all expenses trip to the therapist.
Congratulations, Mr Romo. You're going to Disney Land.
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=2]if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador, a new mastodon,
a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego,
a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor,
a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck,
a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple.[/SIZE][/FONT]
I'll have an E please, Bob.
I don't want a P though...
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=2]if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
a heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven--don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym--I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador, a new mastodon,
a Maverick, a Mustang, a Montego,
a Merc Montclair, a Mark IV, a meteor,
a Mercedes, an MG, or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty, a Maserati, a Mac truck,
a Mazda, a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago--Hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE="4"]I WANT MY MTV!!!!!!![/SIZE]
Even better.... "Let's see what they would have won"
It was always a speedboat
Also, I couldn't understand why anyone would want to win a fondue set (I didn't know what that was) rather than a Blankety Blank Cheque Book and Pen. I knew what a chequebook was. It was something that meant you gave people pieces of paper instead of money. My neighbour's Dad had one! It struck me that a silver one would be twice as good. And a wholebook of them...?
I was always bugging my parents to go on Blankety Blank. I knew that if I was an adult I'd be on it.
the speedboat thing.... so where/when would your average Brit use a speedboat? huh? and how many bathers at Skegness would die?
I think George Bush might appreciate a Blankety Blank Chequebook and Pen....
...oh wait....
Rosie O' Donnell wins a trip to the next Promise Keepers rally.