My Father, 1949-2008

Pie • Jun 26, 2008 10:56 pm
I had to write my father's obituary. I have never done something this painful in my life -- except watch him die.

http://www.journal.clltopics.org/2008/06/26/p-c-venkat-1949-2008/
monster • Jun 26, 2008 11:05 pm
It's Perfect. I'm sorry for your loss.
jinx • Jun 26, 2008 11:12 pm
I am so sorry Pie.
Clodfobble • Jun 26, 2008 11:19 pm
It was beautiful, Pie. A very nice tribute. I hope your family begins to heal soon.
kerosene • Jun 26, 2008 11:46 pm
Pie, the obituary is very moving. It made me wish I had met him, also. I am so sorry to hear this. Take care, lady.
Cloud • Jun 27, 2008 12:02 am
sounds like a wonderful man. Keep remembering him with love.
footfootfoot • Jun 27, 2008 12:09 am
Pie, he sounds like a wonderful and loving dad. It was a beautiful remembrance, I'm sorry for your loss.
lookout123 • Jun 27, 2008 12:16 am
I am so sorry Pie. hang in there, the cellar is with you.
morethanpretty • Jun 27, 2008 12:28 am
I'm sorry for your loss, he sounds like he was a great man and that he left quite a legacy.
xoxoxoBruce • Jun 27, 2008 1:09 am
Add my condolences to the very long list, Pie. You done good, your Dad would be proud.
Crimson Ghost • Jun 27, 2008 2:51 am
My condolences on your loss.
nowhereman • Jun 27, 2008 7:05 am
That's beautiful. An obituary isn't just a "death notice" - it's an affirmation of their life, their accomplishments and the meaning that their life brought to their family and friends. Your Dad isn't gone from you - he will always be there in your heart. Peace to you and your family.
Sundae • Jun 27, 2008 7:37 am
Pie

So, so sorry you lost your father, and so young.
I know it's little consolation, but he managed to do so much with the short time he had, and touched so many lives. I hope even in your grief you can take a little comfort that he saw what was coming and went down fighting.

I am terrified of losing my father. I'd rather go first. But I know he'd hate that if I told him, so I don't.

That was a beautiful testament to his life. The best part is, I'm sure you haven't said anything in writing that you wish you'd said to him in person. He must have died knowing how much you love him, and how important he is to you.



Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas
Undertoad • Jun 27, 2008 8:08 am
I'm so sorry Pie. You have memorialized him beautifully... I am tearing up a little at the loss of this clearly great man.
DucksNuts • Jun 27, 2008 8:15 am
I'm so sorry, Pie. What a gorgeous tribute to a wonderful man.

Sending positive thoughts your way luv.
glatt • Jun 27, 2008 8:34 am
Oh Pie, I'm really sorry you lost your dad. I can only imagine how much it must hurt.

I didn't know him, and I'm sad.
classicman • Jun 27, 2008 8:43 am
That was a wonderful piece. What a great testament to what was obviously a great man. My condolences to you and your family.
dar512 • Jun 27, 2008 10:51 am
What a terrible loss for your family and for the world.

Peace be with you.
BigV • Jun 27, 2008 4:27 pm
Oh, Pie.

I won't insult you by saying I know how you feel--I don't. But I remember how I felt when my Dad, whom I revere, died in 2001. I felt like shit.

I'm told that sharing multiplies joy and divides sorrow. If the sadness I feel having read your beautiful testimony is any indication, your burden should definitely be lighter now.

So sad, so beautiful. I, too, wish you and your family peace.
Flint • Jun 27, 2008 5:00 pm
Pie. This has to be one of the most difficult tasks I can imagine. But you did great. At this moment, one more person in the world is sitting here thinking what a great man he was. All manner of positive vibes be to you.
DanaC • Jun 27, 2008 5:05 pm
Oh Pie, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't think of many harder tasks than that of writing an obituary that is meaningul and carries something of who that person was. You did it brilliantly. I can only think that your dad must have been amazingly proud of you.
limey • Jun 27, 2008 6:31 pm
Pie, so sorry to hear of your loss. Your papa sounds like a well-loved man who touched many lives. Thank you for sharing him with me today.
elSicomoro • Jun 27, 2008 6:48 pm
I'm so sorry for your loss, Pie...you paid a great tribute to him.
Griff • Jun 27, 2008 10:15 pm
I'm so sorry for your loss Pie.
Pie • Jun 28, 2008 4:21 pm
All,
Thank you for your kind words. I am floundering a little right now, trying to help my mom keep afloat. We're back at her house in Arizona, and we don't have ISP connectivity yet (it's supposed to be hooked up on Wednesday), so I am checking things periodically from the local coffee shop.
I don't think this has really sunk in yet.
- PIe

PS: Mods, could someone change the title of this thread to "Lost my father" or something like that? If you google my father's name, this thread shows up before the actual obit. That strikes me as a little wrong, somehow. Thank you. Next time, I'll think ahead and remember how popular the Cellar is with the Googlebots!
richlevy • Jun 28, 2008 8:00 pm
I am very sorry to hear about your loss, Pie.
Tulip • Jun 29, 2008 1:01 am
i'm sorry to hear about your loss. condolences to you and your family.
wolfd • Jun 29, 2008 1:10 pm
Pie, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. After reviewing your link, I agree your father was a very nice man. Having had to write obituaries for both my parents recently, I share your pain.
Big Sarge • Jun 30, 2008 3:57 am
I wish I could have met him. Quite an interesting man
Shawnee123 • Jun 30, 2008 9:32 am
Pie,

Your tribute was beautiful, and I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
TheMercenary • Jul 2, 2008 7:48 am
Sorry for your loss. I had to read my MIL's obit and story in front of the church at her funneral. Very difficult. My thoughts are with you.
skysidhe • Jul 2, 2008 7:56 pm
It is a nice obituary pie. I'm sorry for your loss.
Elspode • Jul 5, 2008 11:29 am
What a wonderful, moving, loving tribute, Pie. Your father must have been a prince of a guy. His happiness and energy fairly radiates from the pictures on the page.

I had the same experience in memorializing my mother nearly two decades ago...the hardest thing I've ever done or may ever do. You did your daddy proud.
TheMercenary • Jul 5, 2008 7:34 pm
Pie, I finally got a chance to read through all the responses on your link. Your pop was a great man who contributed to many personal lives. You have much to be proud of. It is often stated that it is not how you finish but what you did during your life and the mark you make on on others. Your father left his mark in a very meaningful and contributing way. A beautiful write up. Well done. He would be proud of you.