Conspiracy Theory

spudcon • Apr 28, 2008 2:56 am
Post your favorite paranoid delusions. For example, mine is that there is a vast left wing conspiracy involving home fried potatoes. What's yours?
Mad Professor • Apr 28, 2008 3:46 am
I think this country is going to turn into 1984
spudcon • Apr 28, 2008 7:25 am
Sorry, conspiracy theories can't be established fact.
Cicero • Apr 28, 2008 4:25 pm
No I'm actually reading 1984 right now. And it's too late. There is no "going to" about it. Oh and it isn't just this country. (If you mean America or not)
regular.joe • Apr 28, 2008 4:31 pm
Lack of proof is evidence that the conspiracy is real!
Sundae • Apr 28, 2008 4:33 pm
My favourite paranoid delusion (as opposed to conspiracy theory) is that I am being secretly filmed. No digs about CCTV please - too easy.

No, since I was a child I gave myself the shudders thinking that perhaps my parents had the house wired for film and sound and if I was ever home alone I would check to see if I could spot anything. I'd even walk around saying, "I know you're filming this, so you might as well admit it."

Sometimes I get that paranoia now - usually if I've just done something really stupid, or just plain wrong. I think HM might have left recording devices to hear what I do when he is out, or that they have left a camera in the office when no-one else is there so they can check I've come in.

This isn't a constant feeling. And I guess I don't really believe it. It's just there sometimes. I honestly think it came from watching Candid Camera before I understood the premise.
SteveDallas • Apr 28, 2008 4:34 pm
spudcon;449019 wrote:
Post your favorite paranoid delusions. For example, mine is that there is a vast left wing conspiracy involving home fried potatoes. What's yours?

Why potatoes? Why home fried? How would mashed potatoes or potato chips figure in?
sweetwater • Apr 28, 2008 5:39 pm
I think laugh tracks on television programs are part of somebody's plan to condition viewers to believe that stupidity and rudeness are good and funny.
sweetwater • Apr 28, 2008 5:42 pm
...and I have long believed that Billy Idol's song, Eyes Without a Face, was written about a potato but I'm not sure.
SteveDallas • Apr 28, 2008 5:43 pm
sweetwater;449221 wrote:
I think laugh tracks on television programs are part of somebody's plan to condition viewers to believe that stupidity and rudeness are good and funny.

sweetwater;449221 wrote:
I can't get the theme song for Gilligan's Island out of my head.

Q.E.D. :angel:
sweetwater • Apr 28, 2008 5:54 pm
OUCH!
:blush:
TheMercenary • Apr 28, 2008 6:53 pm
"Bush Did It!"
spudcon • Apr 29, 2008 10:38 am
SteveDallas;449200 wrote:
Why potatoes? Why home fried? How would mashed potatoes or potato chips figure in?


I have never liked home fries. Back in the nineties, I noticed that any time I ordered breakfast in a restaurant, home fries came with it. When I'd tell the waitress to not include them, when the meal came, there they were. That's when I knew it was the work of evil Bill and Hillary Clinton.
To my surprise, I wasn't alone.
http://thor.mirtna.org/stories/projectnightshade.html
spudcon • Apr 29, 2008 1:04 pm
P.S. I also think we're being invaded by croutons.
Sundae • Apr 29, 2008 2:41 pm
Oh! Along those lines, I believe oven chips (fries to you) are made by the purveyors of medicines for high blood pressure/ cholesterol. Because they just never taste good.

In fact I was telling my Mum on Saturday how I've never had an oven chip I actually enjoyed.
spudcon • Apr 29, 2008 3:37 pm
Sundae Girl;449574 wrote:
Oh! Along those lines, I believe oven chips (fries to you) are made by the purveyors of medicines for high blood pressure/ cholesterol. Because they just never taste good.

In fact I was telling my Mum on Saturday how I've never had an oven chip I actually enjoyed.

[SIZE=4][COLOR=Red]Aha! Another victim![/COLOR][/SIZE]
regular.joe • Apr 29, 2008 4:40 pm
Never taste good????? YOU MUST BE PART OF THE CONSPIRACY!

I'll be watching you.
Sundae • Apr 29, 2008 5:14 pm
They're either soggy, raw in the middle (and once you've had an undercooked one you get The Fear and can't eat any more for a long time) or overcooked. There is no middle ground.

I am a victim, as spud says, not one of the potato conspiracy overlords.
euphoriatheory • Apr 29, 2008 5:23 pm
I'm pretty sure that EZ Pass is just another tracking mechanism shielded by the Patriot Act.
Cicero • Apr 29, 2008 6:09 pm
No that's also true...anyone have one that isn't true?
:)
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 30, 2008 12:43 am
Cathers
Sundae • Apr 30, 2008 10:35 am
(Cathars)
spudcon • Apr 30, 2008 3:17 pm
Hah, while the world is distracted by Cathars, the real villains, potatoes take over.
spudcon • May 20, 2008 10:09 pm
And so, potatoes, croutons, EZ Pass, and CCTV all add up to a massive conspiracy to keep sitcoms from being funny. OMG! It's working! Next thing you know, someone will claim Chinese imports are junk!
Spexxvet • May 3, 2010 10:26 am
The BP oil rig was bombed by OPEC or tree huggers, I'm not sure which. But it might have been done by repubicans, trying to set up Obama for a Bush/Katrina comparison.

The bomb in Times Square was put there by repubicans, trying to make the Obama administration look bad.
Shawnee123 • May 3, 2010 10:30 am
Hahahahahhaaaa!

But, I believe it! :unsure:

Remember the good old days, when all you might find in Times Square was a cricket? ;)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cricket_in_Times_Square
Shawnee123 • May 3, 2010 11:24 am
See?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/05/03/obama.oil.strategy/index.html?hpt=C1
spudcon • May 11, 2010 10:47 pm
The oil rig was sunk by potatoes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgf_odxpCoQ
Spexxvet • Oct 9, 2012 10:05 am
"Those who really control things" need a large labor pool, willing to work for low pay, in order to control more and more wealth. How will they achieve this?
1. Increase births. Reduce the use of birth control. Reduce abortions.
2. Keep workers uneducated. Encourage myth belief over science. De-fund basic education. Increase the cost of higher education.
3. Keep workers in debt. Encourage them to think that if they don't stay with their unpleasant, low-paying, dead end job they'll lose what few worldly possessions they have and be unable to provide for their family.
4. Keep workers in fear. Make them feel that the rest of the world is out to get them. Make them afraid they'll lose their jobs. Make them afraid they won't go to heaven. Make them afraid of each other. Make them afraid they'll get sick or injured.
5. Eliminate minimum wage laws.
6. Remove safety and environmental regulation. Young, strong workers are more efficient. Older workers miss time, and cost more in health care. Retired workers deliver absolutely no return on the pension/social security/ medicare investment. Better for workers to die young and be replaced.
7. Keep unemployment high. When more workers compete for the same jobs, there is downward pressure on the salary for those jobs.
8. Reduce protectionist regulation, making it easier to access the huge, low-paid labor pool around the world.
9. Weaken organized labor. Divide and destroy workers' demands.
10. Transfer wealth from the workers to the wealthy. Bribe (called "contributions") government lawmakers to give public money to the private sector through bailouts, tax incentives, subsidies.
infinite monkey • Oct 9, 2012 11:55 am
spudcon;655614 wrote:
The oil rig was sunk by potatoes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgf_odxpCoQ


I hate when that happens. I lost a cat to potatoes. It was very sad, and I feel your pain.
DanaC • Oct 10, 2012 10:50 am
Spexxvet;833552 wrote:
"Those who really control things" need a large labor pool, willing to work for low pay, in order to control more and more wealth. How will they achieve this?
1. Increase births. Reduce the use of birth control. Reduce abortions.
2. Keep workers uneducated. Encourage myth belief over science. De-fund basic education. Increase the cost of higher education.
3. Keep workers in debt. Encourage them to think that if they don't stay with their unpleasant, low-paying, dead end job they'll lose what few worldly possessions they have and be unable to provide for their family.
4. Keep workers in fear. Make them feel that the rest of the world is out to get them. Make them afraid they'll lose their jobs. Make them afraid they won't go to heaven. Make them afraid of each other. Make them afraid they'll get sick or injured.
5. Eliminate minimum wage laws.
6. Remove safety and environmental regulation. Young, strong workers are more efficient. Older workers miss time, and cost more in health care. Retired workers deliver absolutely no return on the pension/social security/ medicare investment. Better for workers to die young and be replaced.
7. Keep unemployment high. When more workers compete for the same jobs, there is downward pressure on the salary for those jobs.
8. Reduce protectionist regulation, making it easier to access the huge, low-paid labor pool around the world.
9. Weaken organized labor. Divide and destroy workers' demands.
10. Transfer wealth from the workers to the wealthy. Bribe (called "contributions") government lawmakers to give public money to the private sector through bailouts, tax incentives, subsidies.



I just got a shiver down my spine...
ZenGum • Oct 10, 2012 8:02 pm
"Those who really control things" need a large labor pool, willing to work for low pay, in order to control more and more wealth. How will they achieve this?


11. Make some noise for paranoia's sake, but never actually do anything about illegal immigrants except hire them, or hire companies that hire them, and if they get uppity, call Immigration.