3 words at a time story

rule 1: advance the story using 3 words maximum.
rule 2: dont be a dick and try to ruin it. (yes, you)
rule 3: see rule 2



I'll start:


Carl's favorite shirt

ripped and bloody,

was, of course

caught in the

upstairs guest bathroom

. He knelt down

and pulled

to kiss the

dog on the

head. Then went

in the cellar

to get the

jar of spicy

armadillo pudding, then

re-thought his actions.

He cooked up

some ferret fricasee

with armadillo pudding

and then washed

his sore achy

mouth out with

burnt on residue.

This was not

a good move.

Was he insane?

I'm just not

sure which person

I want to

emulate, he said.

He limped to

conclusions most times.

Suddenly, there was

a footfall behind

the shower curtain

, well really a

football-shaped girl

(BRI! that says footFall. not footBall)

approaching who reached

round the curtain

lumberjim;448638 wrote:

(BRI! that says footFall. not footBall)

(I am SO SORRY!)


(my eyes are bad...*sob*)

Sundae Girl;448640 wrote:

round the curtain

and gave him

a quite remarkable

bucket full of

clogged drain hair

that smelled like

dead people, but

furnace was only

leaking nuclear waste

His only hope

was miles away!

Only in Cleveland

would he find

the tool necessary

to break into

Ms. Brianna's heart

so she can

feel the freedom

or feel his

suppressed, but astounding

ego. But then

a dog barked....

and awoked him

from his nightmare.

Carl's favourite shirt

was on the

crackling fireplace

beginning to singe.

He grabbed the

can of gasoline

and fled through

the cellar door

to the pickles!

:: Ring:: ::Ring::!!

It was LJ

on the doorbell

He wanted a

CD, performed by

Three Dog Night

so that he

could get down

to the bar

for Fluffy Ducks

and hairless monkeys

for the stew.

Lj, hungry, naked,

needing ferret fricasee,

his huge, throbbing

heart went out

to Carl. But

it bounced back.

He decided to

fry it in

burnt peanut oil

and snot butter

but decided against

it after all.

"Thank goodness I..."

"... saved some of.."

"...Aunt Sally's delicious..."

payote cactus jelly

"...it's perfect for..."

sexual purposes too

he thought wryly.

he said, laughing.

"I'll bet Jinx..."

would be into...

that kinky stuff

if I find

4 million cash,

then I'd have

five million! Still,

one million's a

small amount of

sex toys.

Meanwhile, across town

a fire burns

in Bruce's gut

not to mention

his basement! He

was elected to

was groping his

moderator's handbook and

preaching in the

pulpit. Suddenly, a

bigfoot came out

and said "Hey" :D

Where am I?

A booming voice

resonated throughout the

dank forest, so

Bruce's potato casserole

saved us again!

That's when spudcon

started giving moonshine

to the pig.

in a little

hut that leaked

pig juice constantly.

Fourteen days later

the pickled pig

started to sing "

Ooh, baby, baby!"

"whip it good"

Bruce's potato casserole

was poisoned by

way of liberals.

Thus, ending his

burgeoning potato empire

but soon it

came to pass

in the east

that the sun

was setting! But

wait that's impossible,

IT'S A POTATO!

Was he hallucinating

or clearly mad?!?

Meanwhile, Carl's shirt

, remember carl's shirt?

was in a

stinking heap, growing

Sundae Girl;449641 wrote:

was in a

heap beside the

pile of potatoes

sprouting many eyes.

Yes, eyes! Can

they see what

a stinking heap

will look like

. Meanwhile behind his

back, a sneaky

spud is creeping

and crawling toward

his pants leg!

Will it go

all the way

to his package?

which DHL delivered

straight to his

package the other

day when he

was taking a

big steaming heap

of creamed and

strained spinach. Soon

Carl will awake.

Hearing strange voices,

shaking the dreams

and the pork

of all the

said,"WTF, Batman..?!

I'm Bruce, Jim,

Lumberjim, Isn't it?

No, Jimmy Durante

and I'm Welsh.

this is fucked.

I blame spudcon

No it's not.

Just following rules.

Then the monster...

opened one eye

followed by another

then v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y

swallowed Lj's head!

Then burped, loudly!

The giant wondered

where Jinx was

and winked slyly

towards the treadmaster.

There she was

up a gumtree

as always, eating

her way through

a Chipotle burrito.

So Drax asked

Where's the salad?

Incensed, Jinx began

to throw salad

upwind, into the

furry face of

her secret lover!

She winked, thinking

"I miss her"

and "I wish

she was here

instead of me"

and started to

pick her nose

discreetly, like a

3 times a'ladaay..

But Carl's shirt

(remember Carl's shirt?)

was getting smelly

even if he..

wasn't wearing it

so he decided

that he had

to burn it.

Burn, baby, burn!

But after seventeen

attempts to light

his bid torch

he gave up,

Meanwhile, in Kansas

Dorothy was dreaming

of sexy scarecrows.

And forgetting lions

were attacking her

she lit up

a huuuuuuge doobie!

and shared it

with little Toto.

Who promptly fell

asleep, and drooling

scarecrow semen

licked his lips

and promptly vomited

all over Carl's

favorite shirt! "OH!...

SHIT! Toto barked

my bone is

smoking!. The Scarecrow

is smoking too!"

Please give me

vanilla cookies! Suddenly

Carl's smelly shirt

story ended abruptly.

And a new

beginning was at

hand. The very

next day, Carl

- remember Carl? - went

to get another

smelly shirt, but

someone shot him.

In the beginning

man created god.

And she said

What the fuck?

I've done all

I can Jim

"I'm a Doctor,

dammit, not a

big wang specialist!"

Meanwhile, on planet

Ravolox, the Doctor

and his assistant

the saucy Brianna,

with the oral

rinse and naked

bent over the

desk fashion sense.

Confusing sentence disregarded,

because its too

ridiculous to contemplate

we begin again.

so, someone start!

No way, man.

Here we go...

Albert hated shoelaces,

so, he threw

a fit when

he realized that

the shit hit

the ceiling fan

, so to speak,

and then he

removed the laces

from his shoes

to make himself

invisible and lighter.

He left the

cake out in

the middle of

the table in

the hallway, when

the cops arrived.

It was hot

. Thankfully, the shoelaces

were not. But

his feet stunk

and he was

foaming at the

rear of his

foamy bottle brush.

"YOU STINK," bellowed

Drax, who was

a self centered

manic depressive bastard ;)

with penis issues.

He so needs

to KILL ALL YOU FUCKERS!

He wielded his

tinly little, shrunken

plastic squirt gun

with abandon, squirting

a load of

mayonnaise and yoghurt

in SteveDallas' face!

Undaunted, SD answered

by taking off

his tighty whities

without first removing

his downy brownies

showing his class

A, Extra Large

rosy red rectum

to the crowd

of mutant baboons

who mounted him.

His photo, obviously.

excited all the

wet crotched teens

for miles around.

But, wait! What

about Albert's shoelaces?

Were they wet

or just stretchy?

Perhaps both? Meanwhile...

at Jinx's place,

Sundae was revving...

a stolen car

to get away

from her tormentor...

the insanely evil

and cleverly disguised

farting clown, Bubbles

O'leary. Meanwhile, back

at the ranch

several of the

pigs were arguing

"Four legs good!"

which made no

pork chops for

me and my

baby polar bear

Albert. Remember Albert?

Later that afternoon

Carl, Albert and

George W. flew

Airforce One to

the Blue Oyster

Cult concert in

Germany @ Wacken

Der Mule Off

, and when they

with HotPink leather

took the stage

the audience exploded

in spontaneous human...

fits of laughter!

Carl, Albert, W...

It would take

another lifetime to

figure out what

the hell is

wrong with their

big, huge members.

Sara, conversely has

the big vagina.




PS: I win. I SOOOO win.

And the stickiest.

Sara was proud

of her malodorous

binbag of mussels

, clams and shrimp

(if you go back and read it from the beginning, you'll pee a little)

see the display modes thing up below where it says log off?

switch it to hybrid mode, and you can scroll thru it pretty quickly without reloads.

But she hated

her tiny bosoms.

Saggy and drooping

like old socks

full of sand.

That's when she

reached down between

her legs, eased

back against the

pulsating shower head

and began to

dream about her

new cotton socks.

At the same

rate of pulsation,

her treadmill would

begin to vibrate

causing her to

gesticulate wildly and

think about football

Hooligans, who disgusted

their dirty underpants.

WTF??

In Big Brother...

where are we?

Inside Big Brother

, a massive fart

resonated throughout the

Universe, causing the

unmitigated, superfluous oligarchy

of Betelgeuse Central.

to fuck itself

verily, thrice, notwithstanding

two answers responded.

So, henceforth... wait! --

Hark! The Harold...

of NottingsQuiltsChesire-on-Avon-by-the-Mer said...

"Methinks thou art..."

of dodgy character...

and ill repute

Raputa! Raputa the

braw bricht nicht!

Good gracious me.

A fartle, indeed

was exuded from

Woolworth's cafeteria when

Angelina bent over

and her knickers

parted to reveal

that she was

not Angelina, but

the famous transvestite,

Fatty Arbuckle.

Which was a

a whole different

barrel of monkeys.

Fatty Arbuckle, meanwhile

looked just like

a fat man

Al Gore in

a stupid pose.

"It's Pat!" cried

a weeping whore

gathers no moss

on the north

side of her

left breast to

right infected toenail

oozing with pus.

[here we go

with medico lingo]

Take her Mandingo!

and slap her

in her flapper

in a wrapper.

Like her papper

used to slapper

In the kisser

with a swisher

Disregarding heretofore inconsequentialities,

and nonproductive rhyming,

we recommence proceedings:

We last saw

yes, another flaw

on the butt

, the huge butt,

of the deceased

as it released

its gaseous odours.

Suddenly, from behind

she was taken

and strongly shaken

until dead. SO,

Carl's smelly shirt

ended up involved

in a murder.

Whereby the reality

of what had

been previously believable

had been stretched

in goatse stylee

to Hillary's combat

level 4 which

meant exceptionally evil

underpant gnomes were

about to begin

gnawing on leather

and fingering the

little man in

the bad place.

This caused a

comet to explode

. Donder and Blitzen,

were only grazed

by the globs

of manatee spunk

that flew freely

coating everything completely

foam party stylee.

Remember Carl's shirt?

said the pixie.

Where's my pocket?

In my trousers!

Today begins anew....

and my buttocks

will remain almost

completely encased in

galvanized white terrycloth

and not in

sticky saran wrap

for once anyway.

All buttocks aside,

the long hard

road to the

big wet sea

of bacon fat

and warm wet

NASA diapers left

a gigantic hole

in the budget.

The next day,

against all expectation,

Carl's shirt was

covered in skidmarks

primarily from the

treadmill. The plane

was owned by

Richard Branson but

did not brown



(not a rick roll, i promise)

That shit's funny...

did not brown
the cellar, but

perhaps made a

Ahem...are my three words not good enough for you? I can't reply to lj's funnies within the rules of the 3 words at a time story format?

Hmmmphhh

That's shit's funny
said Branson as...

Spudcon acted humourlessly

I missed it

sorry bout that

(Sorry Shawnee, mymistake)

Back in Texas,

Flint's chicken soup

was just what

made him sick

Improper poultry handling

is another aspect

of poultry sex

which the lumberjim

indulges in, often

when his camel

humped his leg

and covered him

with fictional slander.

-And raw elderberries!

Much to his

chagrin lumberjim started

to lick off

Carl's shirt buttons

you remember Carl

the man with

the kalidescope eyes.

isn't in heat

just smells goatish

to the average

goat owning Republican

bashing left wing

left testicle, left

handed monkey wrench

left at home

. He then began

to pontificate about

his bloated pancreas

which looked like

left over borscht.

Meanwhile, in Kansas

Dorothy and Toto

were having sex

Again! But this

was nothing new.

Ever since Darwin

and that platypus

did the deed

before marriage. Everyone

has platypus ancestry

and duck bills

to go with

their webbed feet

and duck nuts

that were very

large and potent!

He also had

a very large

and very impressive

collection of balls

which he displayed

wherever and whenever

he wanted to.

However, She decided

his balls sucked

-- sucked balls, actually --

chocolate salty balls

wrapped in a

saran wrap sling

getting very sweaty

and ready for

the bomb squad

to arrive. Once

he'd been detonated

he could fart

with complete impunity

and a scale

model of the

most massive yet

as yet unexplained

brown corn canoe

which floated the

Dunube during a

group sex session

with six goats

, a tub of

chocolate pudding and

five fat oysters.

After this feast

he went searching

for five fat

bangers, and then

banged them mercilessly.

on a pole

in the corner,

of the Vegas

Strip under my

left tit; so

it flopped hard

and landed on

lumberjims enormous head

he fell to

drinking hard and

complaining about his

lack of eating

tasty, nutritional aphrodesiacs

that made his

heid even bigger!

Out of nowhere,

came a headshrinker

who took one

look at the

massive heid, and

sat it down

on a stump.

Meanwhile, back at

the police station

a rectal examination

was increasingly imminent

to determine the

size of the

object up his

, by now, painfully

swollen and oozing

fireman's passage. However

as the shadows

slowly take over

my tiny brain

and permeate the

shockwaves of sex

rippling through the

pelvic floor of

Ann Arbor Mall

it becomes evident

this is over.

Made with little

boys in mind

[COLOR="Gray"](comma)[/COLOR]the small replicas

of their tiny

phallic members only

further proved that

his sexual preferences

were all-American!

America! Fuck Yeah!

Suddenly, Jesus arrived.

"Bless you my..."

cellar dwelling charges

I am here

to pump you

with my mighty

bike pump nozzle.

Unless you're obscenely

well endowed, then

welcome in!" But

if not endowed

with the exceedingly

largest bank account

fuck right off.

Jesus said this!

Then the monster

with the flabby

pickle turned to

rip him a

brand spanking new

one, but just

as he started

a thirsty koala

with HUGE paws

and a huge

ego, began to

masturbate in the

eucalyptus leaves. Then

you can guess

what Avon did

They chemically engineered

that combo and

marketed it as

Juicy Fruit gum

[COLOR="Silver"]lol[/COLOR]

The general public

who were mostly

not concerned with

the origin of

this delicious fragrance

bought it like

whores in church

. For Valentines Day

, not concerned with

lavishing gifts or

getting any then

PETA made a

complete 180, buying

PETA = PITA

easy as pie

said the muffin

to lady man

with the tiny

humping puking dog.

Oh, lovely, said

Bubbles, the Farting

ferret. I want

some GasX, please

for my aunt

who has a

case of the

vapors. Ever since

she accidentally ate

the crackers I

dropped in the

industrial waste receptacle.

She contracted [FONT=MS Sans Serif][COLOR=#400040]O157:H7[/COLOR][/FONT]

which is AKA

e coli bacteria,

also known as,

Mystery Meat Surprise.

I always say

"You never know

what sort of

mystery your meat

will get in

, but you know

when meat is

as big as

a Volkswagen, it's

a lost cause."

I say that,

size is really

important to me.

When I reminisce

about Wanda's poon...

it makes me

all mushy inside.

But poon can't

always make me

compensate for the

memories of that

one night in

Thailand, where the

glistening mounds of

tw's longwinded bullsit

just made me

all mushy inside.

The Car Soccer

mom drove was

on fire and

her acrylic nails

scraped frantically on

his belt buckle

as she attempted

to free him

from the rare

Jabberwock Jock fungus

that had infested

and mutated into

a new strain

of the deadly

yet hilariously emasculating

Hillary emasculating virus

. Meanwhile, Bill was

The mercenary for

all interns who

post on teh

interwebs when they

use the Google.

From now on

cigars will be

only smoked virtually

thru the hole

(he said 'hole')

in Pelosi's head

from which emerged

a hissing feline

named Garfield Cat

who was covered

with smegma and

guilt, resulting from

getting caught beating

his nasty dong.

Emasculated, the cat

while fondling his

self, suddenly realized

that there were

fifteen other animals

queueing up to

ride the greased

long dong silver.

In the Cellar,

cats are not

viewed as food

unless the IoTD

includes a recipe.

Having eaten his

wheaties™ that morning

and sat up

and hurled wheaties™

at the cat

across the room.

Noone really knows

how smelly my

drawers get when

I've pissed them.

Enough of this

vulgarity! The next

line should be

words of wisdom

from someone like

the old man

In vino veritas

is complete bollocks

(oh! Vulgarity, eh?)

Needs must when

options water Geneva

convention fail or

Georgie Porgy Pudding

whatever you want

. My digital camera

has been lost

in the confusion

between two worlds

where we are

and where we

wear wee ware.

Meanwhile, Satan was

busy inserting the

the whale penis

. The FMS however

lost his meatball

inside the juicy

corncob of death.

In other news

the temperature rose

beyond the point

where Grosse Point

pool was frozen.

Ice-skates in hand,

Satan contemplated using

a limp noodle

of global warming

to terrify the

crap out of

the American people.

All for the

sake of a

few good men.

Chris made quiche

but Lorraine made

everything wet. However,

[I want someone to parse this thread into a series of real paragraphs with the whole story so far. I do not have the skillz to do it efficiently.]

[If YOU can't do it, it can't be done.]

[I want someone to make it into a wordle]

[...sundae girl said she was twiddling her thumbs....]

[Turn it into one of those movie things]

[oh yeah, that would be funneh]

thru may 1 08

Carl's favorite shirt, ripped and bloody, was, of course caught in theupstairs guest bathroom. He knelt down to kiss the dog on the head. Then went in the cellar to get thejar of spicy armadillo pudding, then re-thought his actions. He cooked up some ferret fricasee with armadillo pudding and then washed his sore achy mouth out with burnt on residue. This was not a good move. Was he insane?I'm just not sure which person I want to emulate, he said. He limped to conclusions most times.
Suddenly, there was a footfall behind the shower curtain, well really a football-shaped girlapproaching who reached...

BRI! that says footFall. ...
Brianna (I am SO SORRY!)

...round the curtain and gave him a quite remarkable bucket full of clogged drain hair that smelled likedead people, but furnace was only leaking nuclear waste His only hope was miles away! Only in Cleveland would he find the tool necessary to break into Ms. Brianna's heart so she can feel the freedom or feel his suppressed, but astounding ego. But then a dog barked.... and awoked him
from his nightmare.

Carl's favourite shirt was on the crackling fireplace beginning to singe. He grabbed the can of gasoline and fled through the cellar door to the pickles! :: Ring:: ::Ring::!! It was LJ on the doorbell He wanted a CD, performed by Three Dog Night so that he could get downto the bar for Fluffy Ducks and hairless monkeys for the stew. Lj, hungry, naked, needing ferret fricasee, his huge, throbbing heart went out to Carl. But it bounced back. He decided to fry it in burnt peanut oil and snot butter but decided against it after all. "Thank goodness... "... saved some... "...Aunt Sally's... payote cactus jelly"...it's perfect... sexual purposes too he thought wryly. he said, laughing.
"I'll bet Jinx..."would be into...that kinky stuff if I find 4 million cash, then I'd have five million! Still, one million's a small amount of sex toys.

Meanwhile, across town a fire burns in Bruce's gut not to mention his basement! He was elected to moderator's handbook and preaching in thepulpit. Suddenly, a bigfoot came out and said "Hey" :Where am I? A booming voice resonated throughout thedank forest, soBruce's potato casserole saved us again! That's when spudcon started giving moonshine to the pig.
in a little hut that leaked pig juice constantly. Fourteen days later the pickled pig started to sing "Ooh, baby, baby!""whip it good" Bruce's potato casserole was poisoned by way of liberals. Thus, ending his burgeoning potato empire but soon it came to pass in the east that the sun
Brianna was setting! But wait that's impossible, IT'S A POTATO! Was he hallucinating or stinking heap, growing pile of potatoes sprouting many eyes.Yes, eyes! they see what a stinking heap will look like. Meanwhile behind his back, a sneaky spud is creeping and crawling toward his pants leg! Will it go all the way to his package? which DHL straight to his package the other day when he was taking a big steaming heap of creamed and strained spinach. Soon Carl will awake. Hearing strange voices, shaking the dreams and the pork 05-01-2008, 01:36 AM
Sundae Girl of all the 05-01-2008, 04:48 AM

is there a limit on post length still? yes there is. the rest of this is 34,910 characters....limit is 10,000. i switched to threaded mode, and copied and pasted it into word pad.....deleting headers and time stamps......for like 20 minutes..... ok..enough of that.

Thanks darlin'
Am sniggering in the library.

[COLOR=blue]shaking the dreams and the pork of all the said,"WTF, Batman..?! I'm Bruce, Jim, Lumberjim, Isn't it? No, Jimmy Durante and I'm Welsh. this is fucked. I blame spudcon No it's not. Just following rules. Then the monster opened one eye followed by another then v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y swallowed Lj's head! Then burped, loudly! The giant wondered where Jinx was and winked slyly towards the treadmaster. There she was up a gumtree as always, eating her way through a Chipotle burrito. So Drax asked Where's the salad? Incensed, Jinx began to throw salad upwind, into the furry face of her secret lover! She winked, thinking "I miss her" and "I wish she was here instead of me" and started to pick her nose discreetly, like a 3 times a'ladaay.. But Carl's shirt (remember Carl's shirt?) was getting smelly even if he wasn't wearing it so he decided that he had to burn it. Burn, baby, burn! But after seventeen attempts to light his bid torch he gave up, Meanwhile, in Kansas Dorothy was dreaming of sexy scarecrows. And forgetting lions were attacking her she lit up huuuuuuge doobie! and shared it with little Toto. Who promptly fell asleep, and drooling scarecrow semen licked his lips and promptly vomited all over Carl's favorite shirt! "OH!... SHIT! Toto barked my bone is smoking!. The Scarecrow is smoking too!" Please give me vanilla cookies! Suddenly Carl's smelly shirt story ended abruptly. And a new beginning was at hand. The very next day, Carl - remember Carl? – went to get another smelly shirt, but someone shot him. What the fuck? I've done all I can Jim "I'm a Doctor, dammit, not a big wang specialist!" [/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue]Meanwhile, on planet Ravolox, the Doctor and his assistant the saucy Brianna, with the oral rinse and naked bent over the desk fashion sense. Confusing sentence disregarded, because its too ridiculous to contemplate we begin again. so, someone start! No way, man. Here we go...[/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue]Albert hated shoelaces, so, he threw a fit when he realized that the ceiling fan so to speak, and then he removed the laces from his shoes to make himself invisible and lighter. He left the cake out in the middle of the table in the hallway, when the cops arrived. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]It was hot. Thankfully, the shoelaces were not. But his feet stunk and he was foaming at the rear of his foamy bottle brush. "YOU STINK," bellowed Drax, who was a self centered manic depressive bastard with penis issues. He so needs to KILL ALL YOU FUCKERS! He wielded his tiny little, shrunken plastic squirt gun with abandon, squirting a load of mayonnaise and yogurt in SteveDallas' face! Undaunted, SD answered by taking off his tighty whities without first removing his downy brownies showing his class A, Extra Large rosy red rectum to the crowd of mutant baboons who mounted him. His photo, obviously. excited all the wet crotched teens for miles around. But, wait! What about Albert's shoelaces? Were they wet or just stretchy? Perhaps both? Meanwhile at Jinx's place, Sundae was revving a stolen car to get away from her tormentor the insanely evil and cleverly disguised farting clown, Bubbles O'Leary. Meanwhile, back at the ranch several of the pigs were arguing "Four legs good!" which made no pork chops for me and my baby polar bear Albert. Remember Albert? [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]Later that afternoon Carl, Albert and George W. flew Airforce One to the Blue Oyster Cult concert in Germany @ Wacken Der Mule Off, and when they took the stage with HotPink leather the audience exploded in spontaneous human fits of laughter! Carl, Albert, W, It would take another lifetime to figure out what the hell is wrong with their big, huge members. Sara, conversely has the big vagina. And the stickiest. Sara was proud of her malodorous binbag of mussels, clams and shrimp But she hated her tiny bosoms. Saggy and drooping like old socks full of sand. That's when she reached down between her legs, eased back against the pulsating shower head and began to dream about her new cotton socks. At the same rate of pulsation, her treadmill would begin to vibrate causing her to gesticulate wildly and think about football hooligans, who disgusted their dirty underpants. Inside Big Brother, a massive fart resonated throughout the Universe, causing the unmitigated, superfluous oligarchy of Betelgeuse Central to fuck itself verily, thrice, notwithstanding two answers responded. So, henceforth... wait! -- Hark! The Harold of NottingsQuiltsChesire-on-Avon-by-the-Mer said "Methinks thou art of dodgy character and ill repute.”[/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]Raputa! Raputa the braw bricht nicht! Good gracious me. A fartle, indeed was exuded from Woolworth's cafeteria when Angelina bent over and her knickers parted to reveal that she was not Angelina, but the famous transvestite, Fatty Arbuckle. Which was a a whole different barrel of monkeys. Fatty Arbuckle, meanwhile looked just like a fat man Al Gore in a stupid pose. "It's Pat!" cried a weeping whore gathers no moss on the north side of her left breast to right infected toenail oozing with pus. (here we go with medico lingo) Take her Mandingo! and slap her in her flapper in a wrapper. Like her papper used to slapper In the kisser with a swisher. Disregarding heretofore inconsequentialities, and nonproductive rhyming, we recommence proceedings: [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]We last saw yes, another flaw on the butt, the huge butt, of the deceased as it released its gaseous odours. Suddenly, from behind she was taken and strongly shaken until dead. SO, Carl's smelly shirt ended up involved in a murder. Whereby the reality of what had been previously believable had been stretched in goatse stylee to Hillary's combat level 4 which meant exceptionally evil underpant gnomes were about to begin gnawing on leather [/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue]and fingering the little man in the bad place. This caused a comet to explode. Donder and Blitzen, were only grazed by the globs of manatee spunk that flew freely coating everything completely foam party stylee. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue]Remember Carl's shirt? said the pixie. Where's my pocket? In my trousers! Today begins anew and my buttocks will remain almost completely encased in galvanized white terrycloth and not in sticky saran wrap for once anyway. All buttocks aside, the long hard road to the big wet sea of bacon fat and warm wet NASA diapers left a gigantic hole in the budget. The next day, against all expectation, Carl's shirt was covered in skidmarks primarily from the treadmill. The plane was owned by Richard Branson but did not brown. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=blue]That's shit's funny said Branson as[/COLOR]

[COLOR=red]back in Texas, Flint's chicken soup was just what made him sick. Improper poultry handling is another aspect of poultry sex which the lumberjim indulges in, often when his camel humped his leg and covered him with fictional slander. And raw elderberries! Much to his chagrin lumberjim started to lick off Carl's shirt buttons. You remember Carl the man with the kalidescope eyes isn't in heat, just smells goatish to the average goat owning Republican bashing left wing left testicle, left handed monkey wrench left at home. He then began to pontificate about his bloated pancreas, which looked like left over borscht. Meanwhile, in Kansas Dorothy and Toto were having sex again! But this was nothing new. Ever since Darwin and that platypus did the deed before marriage. Everyone has platypus ancestry and duck bills to go with their webbed feet and duck nuts that were very large and potent! He also had a very large and very impressive collection of balls which he displayed wherever and whenever he wanted to. However, She decided his balls sucked -- sucked balls, actually -- chocolate salty balls wrapped in a saran wrap sling getting very sweaty and ready for the bomb squad to arrive. Once he'd been detonated he could fart with complete impunity and a scale model of the most massive yet as yet unexplained brown corn canoe which floated the Dunube during a group sex session with six goats, a tub of chocolate pudding and five fat oysters. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]After this feast he went searching for five fat bangers, and then banged them mercilessly on a pole in the corner, of the Vegas Strip under my left tit; so it flopped hard and landed on lumberjims enormous head. He fell to drinking hard and complaining about his lack of eating tasty, nutritional aphrodesiacs that made his heid even bigger! [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]Out of nowhere, came a headshrinker who took one look at the massive heid, and sat it down on a stump. Meanwhile, back at the police station a rectal examination was increasingly imminent to determine the size of the object up his, by now, painfully swollen and oozing fireman's passage. However as the shadows slowly take over my tiny brain and permeate the shockwaves of sex rippling through the pelvic floor of Ann Arbor Mall, it becomes evident this is over. Made with little boys in mind, the small replicas of their tiny phallic members only further proved that his sexual preferences were all-American! America! Fuck Yeah! Suddenly, Allah arrived. “Bless you my cellar dwelling charges, I am here to pump you with my mighty bike pump nozzle. Unless you're obscenely well endowed, then welcome in!" But if not endowed with the exceedingly largest bank account fuck right off. Allah said this! Then the monster with the flabby pickle turned to rip him a brand spanking new one, but just as he started a thirsty koala with HUGE paws and a huge ego, began to masturbate in the eucalyptus leaves. Then you can guess what Avon did. They chemically engineered that combo and marketed it as Juicy Fruit gum. The general public who were mostly not concerned with the origin of this delicious fragrance bought it like whores in church. For Valentines Day, not concerned with lavishing gifts or getting any then PETA made a complete 180, buying PETA = PITA easy as pie said the muffin to lady man with the tiny humping puking dog. Oh, lovely, said Bubbles, the Farting Ferret. I want some GasX, please for my aunt who has a case of the vapors. Ever since she accidentally ate the crackers I dropped in the industrial waste receptacle. She contracted O157:H7 which is AKA e coli bacteria, also known as, Mystery Meat Surprise.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]I always say "You never know what sort of mystery your meat will get in, but you know when meat is as big as a Volkswagen, it's a lost cause." I say that, size is really important to me. When I reminisce[/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]about Wanda's poon, it makes me all mushy inside. But poon can't always make me compensate for the memories of that one night in Thailand, where the glistening mounds of tw's longwinded bullshit just made me all mushy inside. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=red]The Car Soccer mom drove was on fire and her acrylic nails scraped frantically on his belt buckle as she attempted to free him from the rare Jabberwock Jock fungus that had infested and mutated into a new strain of the deadly yet hilariously emasculating Hillary emasculating virus.[/COLOR] Meanwhile, Bill was the mercenary for all interns who post on the interwebs when they use the Google. From now on cigars will be only smoked virtually thru the hole (he said 'hole') in Pelosi's head