The Ultimate Quest
To meet tw.
in person.
first person to meet him in person wins....
I live in the same general area, I think. I'll buy the meal/beers/whatever.
cmon, tw......whaddya say?
i wont bring a camera
I'm pretty sure UT said he has met him in person at least once.
In that case, I feel sorry for his finger.
No, I never met tw. He sent me a circuit once.
Where does he live? What do we win? What do you need as proof? (Pictures can be 'shopped, or I could just take a pic of me and a cow orker, you'd never know.)
Where does he live? What do we win?
I don't know exactly, or I'd have dropped by to visit.
what do you win? You win BIG. that's what.
proof? hadn't really considered it....... maybe tw would help with that.
video of tw logging in to the Cellar and creating a post about the meeting.
I could be wrong (it was a long time ago), but some old-school Dwellars from the early 1990s dial-up era once attended a focus group kind of this about online activities. I was there, and I think tw was one of the others.
creating a post? do you have any idea how much memory that would take on your camera?
I could be wrong (it was a long time ago), but some old-school Dwellars from the early 1990s dial-up era once attended a focus group kind of this about online activities. I was there, and I think tw was one of the others.
YEAH....RIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT
My uncle's old army buddy knew a guy that spent an evening with Bigfoot, too.
Gee whillikers Jim, you're right. It must have all been a dream.
I am sooooo in! tw - this is a formal invitation to you. I'll take you out & wine and dine you big guy - wadda ya say? Just PM me and we'll work out the logistics.
That's sounds great..I am just too busy right now shooting myself in the foot with a double-barrel shotgun.
;)
Thanks!!!
I think a handwritten diatribe from TW would suffice for proof. Whoever gets that needs to bring a whole box of pens, though, and a ream of paper.
Proof would be a first edition or original copy of his manefesto. You can find the online version here:
http://cyber.eserver.org/unabom.txtI have the advantage...I go to LA (I think he resides there) regularly.
C'mon TW. Let's party!
I think proof is TW admitting who it was and describing the person.
Brian
wait, i thought tw was one of you philly people? or is Brian's humor so subtley clever that I missed it?
Usually, I am very clever in my humour. Not this time however.
TW has mentioned a hot dog cart business or some such in LA in the past and I remembered that. Plus I get to that God-forsaken, heathen, lawless hellhole more often than I'd like.
I'm typing this from N Billerica MA right now, of course.
Brian
TW has mentioned a hot dog cart business or some such in LA in the past and I remembered that.
Dat was Radar's gig.
He's not from LA. We breed a different kind of crazy out here.
Before I win the prize for finding myself, what is the prize?
Lifetime supply of anal suppositories. Any flavor.
Where does he live? What do we win? What do you need as proof? (Pictures can be 'shopped, or I could just take a pic of me and a cow orker, you'd never know.)
I don't know exactly, or I'd have dropped by to visit.
what do you win? You win BIG. that's what.
proof? hadn't really considered it....... maybe tw would help with that.
Before I win the prize for finding myself, what is the prize?
I'm trying to find out, too, tw. If it's something really good, would you PM me to set up a meeting time? :p
If the prize is good enough, I'll pay $4,300 to transport you across state lines, tw. I'll even pay for your train ticket and the room at the Mayflower.
Yeah, but I'll give him sex.
just kidding, I kid.
Yeah, but I'll give him sex.
just kidding, I kid.
:Flush:
I still owe tw a bj for figuring out a math problem for me.
He'd have to wash first, though.
It would have to be at your place too. All those jars of urine stacked against the wall of his room might kill the mood.;)
Hey, no fair.
Why not offer a prize for the first Dwellar to meet me?
I promise to play harder to get in future to increase the tension.
And I give great... er, prizes...
Usually, I am very clever in my humour. Not this time however.
TW has mentioned a hot dog cart business or some such in LA in the past...
Dat was Radar's gig.
Ignatius J. Reilly posts on the Cellar?!
I could only imagine how many haggard and depraved eyes were regarding me hungrily from behind the closed shutters; I tried not to think about it. Already I was beginning to feel like an especially toothsome steak in a meat market. However, no one called enticingly from the shutters; those devious mentalities throbbing away in their dark apartments were apparently more subtle seducers. I thought that a note, at least, might flutter down. A frozen orange juice can came flying out of one of the windows and barely missed me. I stooped over and picked it up in order to inspect the empty tin cylinder for a communication of some sort, but only a viscous residue on concentrated juice trickled out on my hand. Was this some obscene message? While I was pondering the matter and staring up at the window from which the can had been hurled, an old vagrant approached the wagon and pleaded for a frankfurter. Grudgingly I sold him one, ruefully concluding that, as always, work was interfering at a crucial moment. -- Ignatius J. Reilly (as hot dog vendor) in Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
Why not offer a prize for the first Dwellar to meet me?
Is that another offer for sex? [SIZE="1"]Just shopping.[/SIZE]
Is that another offer for sex? [SIZE="1"]Just shopping.[/SIZE]
No this was.....durr...
snip~And I give great... er, prizes.....~snip
Is that another offer for sex? [SIZE="1"]Just shopping.[/SIZE]
you ungrateful
bastard!you ungrateful bastard!
Did I mention how generous I could be?
But then this should be about Sundae Girl. Why just make it one prize?
did you solve any math questions for her? HUH? DIDJA?
no. I thought not!
How is it that this thread has become the most normal conversation TW's ever had on the Cellar?
He's still beating around the Bush.
He's still beating around the Bush.
Of course I am beating around the Bush. Do the math. I am not normal. I am generous. Now, who wants to meet me?
We all do!
but only some with offers
i wold throw a tw party
id buy a keg of yeungling and a sushi tray
and id host it at my house
in may
or june
id have pizza and id hire phobic to play....and mught even do a live vesion of blue christmas.
if tw would only attend.
I'll host a Dwellar party at mine
all it needs is:
- airfare from various locations inc Far East, America, Scotland, Holland, various places I've missed off
- A film or TV job for HM
- cut price booze or BYO illegal pleasures
- baby oil
If someone gets tw to show up at a gathering, I will be more than happy to come out to Philly and drag April with me.
I am so in! I'm ready to meet the rapper... "T-dub"
In fact its on my bucket list!
I would go to any gathering with tw. Even bald as I am--I would sally forth to meet the tw who haunts my dreams. The tw who calls me an "emotional child" (which, in twspeak means 'stupid') with such sweet loving kindness--such understanding!
Plus, I would ask him how he figured out the cucumber-math question and then not believe him. I would be wary.
T-Dub is such an O.G.
wtf does that mean?
god, you annoy me.
I feel sorry for all you people that have not realized that TW cannot go to the party, you will have to take the party to him. Be careful what party games you play though as he sometimes takes them a bit too far.
Did I mention TW's real name is
Joshua?
god, you annoy me.
No. I
bother you.
Brianna, what was the math problem that tw helped you with?
something about cucumbers and jenna jameson IIRC.
here it is: (um...this is in fucked up kilos...our prof asked us in American...but you can get the drift)
On a sunny morning, a greengrocer places 200 kilograms of cucumbers in cases in front of his shop. At that moment, the cucumbers are 99% water. In the afternoon, it turns out that it is the hottest day of the year, and as a result, the cucumbers dry out a little bit. At the end of the day, the greengrocer has not sold a single cucumber, and the cucumbers are only 98% water.
The Question: How many kilograms of cucumbers has the greengrocer left at the end of the day?
Was this the answer?
In the morning he had 198 kg of water and 2 kg of notwater, for a total of 200 kg.
In the afternoon he still had 2 kg of notwater and 98 kg of water, for a total of 100 kg.
how would losing 1% water weight result in a 100 kg total weight loss?
Was this the answer?
In the morning he had 198 kg of water and 2 kg of notwater, for a total of 200 kg.
In the afternoon he still had 2 kg of notwater and 98 kg of water, for a total of 100 kg.
Yeah, I think that's it, HLJ. The answer was 100----in American.
@lookout--this is a nonintuitive question. that's why tw, the nut, was able to answer it.
Think of it as an economics problem:
A man with $200,000 has 99% of that in stocks ($198,000) and 1% ($2,000) in cash.
The market crashes and the value of his stocks drop to $98,000. He still has $2,000 in cash, for a total of $100,000 -> he now has 98% in stocks and 2% in cash.
how would losing 1% water weight result in a 100 kg total weight loss?
They didn't lose 1% water weight, they gained 1% non-water content. Only they didn't
gain weight, they lost weight.
So... 1% non-water had to increase to 2% non-water by decreasing the water in half, roughly. And water was most of what they were.
I wonder why some people would know this. I would never know this, nor would I even TRY to figure it out. I would pay someone to do this for me, if I were, god forbid, a cucumber farmer/seller, which I never would be. It's the same reason I pay people to fix my computer, install my what-have-you, and chop down my trash-trees: I'm incapable of the very thought of it. Where would I start? Lord, it's too immense.
I am more interested in WHY I am both in love with and repelled by Harry Angstrom.
Being unable to calculate leaves you vulnerable to car salesmen and politicians. See
innumeracy.
lookouts last comment makes me think he doesn't care.
now, I will obsess about this. I commence.
And I thought his comment was directed at himself.
I handle bazillions of dollars for a living. OK, not really - just millions so I can calculate what I need quite well. And I don't worry about car salesman - I was one. Politicians, however, should cause ALL to worry.
I was looking at that problem from the wrong angle. I read the answer immediately after the question and fixated on the 1% of water weight being equal to 100kg. Just didn't back up far enough to think about the bigger picture of 1% total weight shifting to the non water side.
hey, lookout?
You're millions of miles beyond my comprehension. You always have been. Men, math, logic, engineering, philosophy, engines, square roots, music, plot theory, OUTSIDE SELF---all of it: foreign to moi. My only subject is myself.
that's why I can't write.
PS==I held millions in my hands, too. I was the decider whether a man was fit or not fit for a 100,000/year job.
This happens at work all the time actually. Our 3 lb. loaves aren't actually 3lbs...We lose 11/2 oz. of water (roughly) after we bake the bread...Originally it is weighed out as 3 but we lose the extra water and I actually get returns because people weigh the bread when it reaches their store. That really only happened once because there is an insane store owner out there. But this actually does happen. Our (loaf) bread pans do not support anything over the 3lbs when we put the dough in. The water loss cannot be avoided here.
So...it is someones job here to calculate the bread difference because of the weight loss. You can make up the difference if you aren't using the loaf pan and create the actual weight of the bread (what is says on the package) after the water loss. Some breads lose more water than others however, so the same doesn't apply to all the items. This is where a spreadsheet is created for all the orders in a particular day to calculate the water loss for each bread so the baker knows how much dough to use. Guess who's job this is? Mine. Have I done the spreadsheet yet? No. I'm working on just surviving here, a sophisticated spreadsheet with all the ozs. and lbs. per bread, per day, takes a lot of time that I quite frankly, do not have, because I have other stuff to do like apply payments that should be reflected in the books that are about 4 months behind. (long before I got here) In fact I am the only one here, we are closed, which means I'm my most open.
A little TMI about being crazy enough to actually try and solve the little math problem. Somewhere out there it is part of someone's ridiculous job.
:)
But I know I'm crazy...I just hope any of that made any sense.
That made lots of sense. And if you need any help with the spreadsheets, you know you can count on tw.
The prize is a non-paid trip to work in my garden. Redneck food, barbq,Yes.
PS==I held millions in my hands, too. I was the decider whether a man was fit or not fit for a 100,000/year job.
Well?? Am I? I must be good for SOMETHING . . . . .
~snip
I am more interested in WHY I am both in love with and repelled by Harry Angstrom.
Sigh, we all are, Bri, we all are. wtf is it about him? ;)
More importantly, what happens if the cucumber is on a treadmill?
here it is: (um...this is in fucked up kilos...our prof asked us in American...but you can get the drift)
On a sunny morning, a greengrocer places 200 kilograms of cucumbers in cases in front of his shop. At that moment, the cucumbers are 99% water. In the afternoon, it turns out that it is the hottest day of the year, and as a result, the cucumbers dry out a little bit. At the end of the day, the greengrocer has not sold a single cucumber, and the cucumbers are only 98% water.
The Question: How many kilograms of cucumbers has the greengrocer left at the end of the day?
The thread in question.
[SIZE=1]tw wasn't first[/SIZE].
That made lots of sense. And if you need any help with the spreadsheets, you know you can count on tw.
:D
No thanks. I'll pass...It's ok really.
Besides, I'm relying on
you now for everything since you can remove Mondays. Not that I relied on tw previously....
Thanks for that again btw!
:D
No thanks. I'll pass...It's ok really.
Besides, I'm relying on you now for everything since you can remove Mondays. Not that I relied on tw previously....
Thanks for that again btw!
I'll call my senator and congress people. We'll be changing the calendar in no time.
Right after we switch to metric.
I've been working on that damn metric since 4th grade.
I'll call my senator and congress people. We'll be changing the calendar in no time.
Right after we switch to metric.
I think I've made it abundantly clear that I want everything converted to "cicero's" and "biblical" proportions? You know what? I don't have time for this metric system insanity.
(no tw cubits don't count)
Step into my office. You are fired.
:D
*hangs head and sulks into Cicero's office. ;)
Well, in a month or two I will be having a BBQ at my house. I usually invite any of the long term Cellarites who I know live in the area (and a few who don't). Wolf and Bruce have been here. I have a friend who has a Cellar account and Wolf's friend possibly has one, but Wolf and Bruce are the only two 'full time' Cellar guests I remember.
I have invited Lumberjim, TW, Undertoad, and others in the past. Maybe this time TW will show up.
Ibram will probably win the Next to Meet SG Prize. But neither of us are the other's type, so sexual favours still available as prizes for those willing to compete.
In seriousness though, I am definitely visiting the States next year.
Start putting your pocket change in a jar marked SG Welcome Dinner - we're having a get together to end all get togethers! [COLOR="Silver"](and it probably will)[/COLOR]
Wolf and Bruce have been here.
That's why Rich can post anything he wants. ;)
This happens at work all the time actually. Our 3 lb. loaves aren't actually 3lbs...We lose 11/2 oz. of water (roughly) after we bake the bread...Originally it is weighed out as 3 but we lose the extra water and I actually get returns because people weigh the bread when it reaches their store. That really only happened once because there is an insane store owner out there. But this actually does happen. Our (loaf) bread pans do not support anything over the 3lbs when we put the dough in. The water loss cannot be avoided here.
So...it is someones job here to calculate the bread difference because of the weight loss. You can make up the difference if you aren't using the loaf pan and create the actual weight of the bread (what is says on the package) after the water loss. Some breads lose more water than others however, so the same doesn't apply to all the items. This is where a spreadsheet is created for all the orders in a particular day to calculate the water loss for each bread so the baker knows how much dough to use. Guess who's job this is? Mine. Have I done the spreadsheet yet? No. I'm working on just surviving here, a sophisticated spreadsheet with all the ozs. and lbs. per bread, per day, takes a lot of time that I quite frankly, do not have, because I have other stuff to do like apply payments that should be reflected in the books that are about 4 months behind. (long before I got here) In fact I am the only one here, we are closed, which means I'm my most open.
A little TMI about being crazy enough to actually try and solve the little math problem. Somewhere out there it is part of someone's ridiculous job.
:)
But I know I'm crazy...I just hope any of that made any sense.
Drop the work and your pants and lets go for some:
tw,
have you read Atlas Shrugged? The Fountainhead?
if so, did they move you?