Bruises
SG said her family like good bruise pictures, so post yours.
here's mine:
It was suggested that we should have a thread for awesome bruise pictures, so I'm taking initiative.
This was already posted elsewhere on the cellar, copied again here to get the ball rolling. This was my pinky toe back in April of this year. Never did take it to a doctor...
Bri, get a picture of that neck of yours before it heals and get it up here for us to ogle!
Crap! Can someone merge the bruise threads, pretty please?
I'll Add my pic to yours and we'll ignore this thread :)
oh no, I lied -I posted first! We can still ignore this one, though.....
Ah bollocks, it wouldn't let me upload, even though it was a different thread. So I took the liberty of transfering yours.....
(I did resist the urge to make it a LOLfoot.....)
Clod's poor foot:
heehee and now we is merged!
(I did resist the urge to make it a LOLfoot.....)
Now why would you do a silly thing like that? By all means, this can and should be an LOLBruises thread. Like so:
You need to be in the chat room
seel the loldwellars thread in just two secs.....
What did you do to yours Mon?
Mine was a rampant air hose.
I have to find the ones of my belly after the last car accident I was in.
I'm a bruise pic fan too.
That's a stunningly pretty photo of you, bruise or non. :)
I told Mum about this thread and she was delighted. She insisted Dad took a picture of my foot "so as not to let the side down"
Glad to hear yours was an inanimate object Ducks, I was almost too scared to ask.
Mine is current - came from standing on the patio table to get Diz off the roof. I'd already tried the chair and couldn't reach him. This made him cry even more and scrambled my brain a little. After all he was in no danger where he was and I could have gone to get the stepladder. Nope, decided to trust my weight to a rickety old table. CRASH! Table collapses and I have to reassure the neighbours that I am just shaken, whilst womanfully blinking back tears.
Got him down of course - the ground rises down the side of the house and I didn't need to stand on anything at all :blush:
It was in its true glory by Thursday afternoon, this is beginning to fade now.
Fuckin' OUCH! How do you walk with that on the bottom of your foot? Nothing hurts worse than arch injuries.
Walking is much less painful today. Stairs still really hurt though!
Tripped, failed to break fall, hit chin on bottom stair. Seemed fine, iced it, went to bed, got up in morning.......:eek:
Still no sign of the bruise on my arse from falling on the ice on Wednesday. I can feel it.... either it ain't going to come out at all, or it's going to be really special....
Can I say (in a whisper) [COLOR="Silver"]I love my bruises[/COLOR]
I bruise really easily but it also follows that I hurt really easily! I admit I have used them to my advantage after the effect, but what the hell - if it hurt at the time it's fair, right?
[COLOR="Silver"](please note I would never use this falsely in a court of law and I hope it never comes back to bite me if I ever genuinely need to!)[/COLOR]
I bruise really easily, but it doesn't tend to hurt much -half the time i have no idea where they came from. Of course that could be the beer..... ;)
I have none at the moment, but I can throw in
this year-old example.
(Disclaimer: Link goes to a single Cellar post. The pic is not itself NSFW, but it was posted in an NSFW thread.)
Still no sign of the bruise on my arse from falling on the ice on Wednesday.
What, its already freezing in Michigan, or is this a hockey injury?
What, its already freezing in Michigan, or is this a hockey injury?
figure skating
I love my bruises too, SG.
I dont bruise easy, but when I do they are usually pretty good.
What, its already freezing in Michigan
It's 90+ degrees, 70% humidity.... ugh
had bone marrow taken from my breastbone once-caused a lovely butterfly shaped bruise all across both breasts-no pics though-pre digital camera era
I had an awesome pre-digital hamstring blowout bruise... I should be able to post some good ones later in the month after I do a Veteran's epee event.
When you post pics please let us know how it got that way - to satisfy our morbid curiosity.
I'm not as young and stupid as I once was. The absolute best/worst bruise I ever had was a doozy on my back-end. I was riding an inner tube thing (not the flying kind) behind a boat. I ski pretty well so I was showing off by standing on the tube. My buddy decided that was a swell time to show me just how fast his boat would go. And then he threw in a demonstration of how tight the turn radius was.
I skipped across the water like a flat rock and I went really far before I finally sank. I was very careful how I sat down for over a week.
More pics less chat! Are clod, ducks, sundae and I the only peoply who take pics of their bruises? Y'all are weird. As for giving reasons, I think guessing first is fun......
you lot are the weird ones. What kind of a weirdo takes pics of their bruises...unless of course it's to show the police and the courts when you need to show how much damage was done by whoever it was that hit you.
Bruise pics are awesome.
I will dig out some more tonite if I can.
I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.
hmmm. I must dig up the photos of when my cousin-in-law tried to decapitate me with our jetski. They were taken predigicam too, so I'll post them as soon as I get a chance. Cool thread. If I come across my C-section staple pictures, should I start a staple/stich thread? ;)
It's rather small, but the color is nice. This was a few years ago. Stubbed my toe walking around outside in bare feet.
That's quite impressive, Glatt. Are you sure it's not an injury from over-zealous toe sucking? Sheldon?
I have always felt that sex bruises and scars are the only ones worth showing off....I don't have any....
I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.
Cash register drawer.
Ahahah....no...I get injured far more often by "idiot customer swinging board around" or "stupid woman shoving cart into my stomach" than "cash drawer"
I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.
My wife gets those, but the ones on her arms of my fingers or thumb prints always seem to be worse.:rolleyes:
Sex injury? Noooo...guess again
Razz, someone stepped on you?! That's terrible! :thepain3:
Not mine, but the boys (football practice).
[ATTACH]15101[/ATTACH]
Freaks.
OK. So, I think Razz's bruises are from a bar fight with a 3ft midget wielding nothing but a very stale loaf of bread and a non-lethal cat-o-three-tails.
Why three? Is there numerological significance?
Nope. I had not noticed I used the number three twice in one sentence (the numbers in this one were on purpose).
LOL I was going to tell after the next guess...but now you're all amusing me with responses...guess I'll have to keep it a secret a little longer :D
I think lumberjim's face qualifies as a bruise on the ass of good taste.
HOW'D YOU LIKE A NICE BRUISE ON YOUR BEANBAG?!!
I'll rochambeaux you.
I was once standing by a hydraulic press that broke and was hit in the face by a solid bar of steel - right across the nose and cheek. As far as I remember, that's the only bruise I've ever had. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures. I didn't consider the possibility that it was an art form.
That's what ya get for pissin' off a hydraulic press.
I've got a pic of a real bad one from my angeo somewhere.
My Dad showed my brother a picture of the bruise on my foot last night. IN CHURCH!
We were there for my niece's confirmation, so Dad had his camera of course. Before the service started he was checking it was all set up (there was a photo op at the altar to stop people taking pics during the service) and he came across it. He was so pleased with himself that neither my brother nor I reminded him that bro had seen the real thing when I was here last weekend.
I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.
1. Attacked by vicious three toed sloth with a penchant for headbutting, said sloth being offended by your apparent lack of belly button. (Where is it, btw?)
2. Playing ultimate frisbee on a mostly-grass field with a few bits of gravel ... dived for the disk, landed awkwardly on the disk leading to stomach bruising, scratches caused by gravel (see, personal experience).
3. Tragic and gruesome photoshop accident.
4. Oversized dog with amorous intent.
5. A small, one-man fighter penetrated the outer defenses, evaded the batteries, flew along this trench here (use your imagination, kiddies) and released proton torpedoes, striking this cooling duct (which explains why she has no navel).
6. Self inflicted for fashion reasons. Goddamn emo kids these days.
Seriously, though: there are sets of vertical scratches and horizontal scratches, so not caused by the same motion of impact. There is one serious bruise and a few lesser bruises. My best guess is you were at a party, had a drink, high-heel gave way and toppled you into a rather spiky shrub. Various scratches from twiggy branches, big bruise from the main impact on the trunk ...
Probably wrong though. How about I come around and kiss them better for you. Wait, you
are expired jailbait aren't you?
They aren't scratches.
What, then?
Pinches? Welts (a la cat-o-three tails)? Love bites from a duck? What?
Ahem, [COLOR="Silver"]stretch marks[/COLOR].
Ahem, [COLOR="Silver"]stretch marks[/COLOR].
I didn't want to say that.
Apparently I did these (see n00bs thread in cellar meta), I'm sorry Razz. :(
Razz can wallop me if I'm wrong, but I have enough of my own to recognise them.
Ahahaha...no that's ok...alot of people think they're scratches at first...it *does* kind of embarass me...but mostly they're there because my body goes through that whole "becoming a woman" thing....all at once....like...I just wake up one day and my boobs are up a whole nother cupsize..and hips are the same way.
So yes, to be honest, I was sorta embarassed to post that but...I shouldn't be...it's just me. :)
*phew* steered clear of this one. I have zillions -and then some- ...pregnancy was not kind to me. i should be brave and post a pic.
but back to your original programming..... I'm voting over-zealous lover.
again peoples....NOT a sex injury :p
oh yeah that's the side of my hip too...I cropped it kind of wierd...sorry...so that explains the lack of bellybutton...
Razz - mine are from weight gain over the years, but I got my first in my teens when I was uber-fit and my skin was at its most elastic - the puberty fairy came overnight for me too.
Stretch marks, like cellulite, are simply part of being a woman and no-one should ever be ashamed that real life doesn't come with an airbrush.
Stretch marks are fairly genetic arent they?
Like some people are HUGE during pregnancy and dont get them, and others have relatively small increases in size are riddled with them.
I wonder if (like baldness) they come down through the other gender? My Mum has very few stretch marks despite 3 children. And yet I was marked simply by becoming a woman.
SNIP - the puberty fairy came overnight for me too.
SNIP
Just reminded me, did anyone else get, about 2 or 3 months ago, a wave of spam, advertising penis enlargement stuff, with the title "GET A VISIT FROM THE BIG DICK FAIRY"???
:lol:
I can think of several interpretations, and I'm not too keen on any of them. Some less so:
A (Timid) "But ... who are you?"
B (Gruff) "I'm the big dick fairy. Roll over!"
We all hate spam but at least they had a sense of humour about it.
[SIZE="1"]*timid* To be perfectly honest SG, your photo on the NSFW thread is what gave me the courage to post mine here...:blush:[/SIZE]
Stretch marks are weird. I didn't get a single one from my pregnancy. BUT, I got my boobs pretty much overnight like Razz and Sundae--tons of stretch marks all over them.
OK, I reckon you were doing the tellytubby dance with a bony-ass tinky winky, razz.
ahahah..I'll just tell you all in super special invisible ink so you don't have to know if you don't want?
[COLOR="LemonChiffon"]This was an allergic reaction to a very painful wasp sting...this photo taken 3 or 4 days *after* the initial sting....which hung around for another two weeks or so...owwie.[/COLOR]
[SIZE="1"]*timid* To be perfectly honest SG, your photo on the NSFW thread is what gave me the courage to post mine here...:blush:[/SIZE]
Thank you for telling me :)
I will put that on my list of Good Things That Happen Because of Me (and that is not sarcasm - I'm trying to be my own Clarence here)
I'll post one in my swimsuit next - frightens the horses less.
BTW - OWWWWW for the real reason.
Right forearm from 12/11/07 wreck. Have more, but no photos.
That's a hell of bruise, Buster... you gotta stop running into yourself.
This is from the IV they put in to sedate me while extracting my wisdom teeth (left inner elbow).
Not a very flattering pic of my leg (it's all muscle, honest), but here's the bruise -now about 24 hours old) that takes up at least 1/3 of my shin and proof indeed that if you want to be a soccer goalie, shin guards are a damn good idea..... that's gonna be a lovely green and purple combo by this time tomorrow....
(and yes, that is another bruise lower down. I saved several goals with that shin!)
Nice.
I'm bummed I forgot this thread after a less than satisfactory Red Cross blood drive experience.
"GET A VISIT FROM THE BIG DICK FAIRY"???
:lol:
I can think of several interpretations, and I'm not too keen on any of them. Some less so:
A (Timid) "But ... who are you?"
B (Gruff) "I'm the big dick fairy. Roll over!"
That, reminded me of this:
Meet Big Dick Blacque:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzfRaQUHpXQI come back over a year later to say to Monster - ha!
That's not a bruise!
Last Tuesday (ie a week and a half ago) we had a pirate party at school.
Instead of What's the Time Mr Wolf?, we played What's the Time Mr Shark?. Out on the school field, divoted and pock-marked as it is. Now I'm an enthusiastic volunteer, and was an extremely active child/ teen. I forget I am morbidly obese and if I run full pelt to catch the children I also run the risk of coming down with all the weight of responsibility behind me.
As happened. I tripped, and came down on one knee and shin and the other shoulder. Luckily I didn't reach terminal velocity, and was wearing jogging bottoms for the precise reason that I knew it would be an active day.
The best of the bruising didn't really come up for the best part of a week.
It's still painful to kneel on my left knee - something I realised today when Diz (the cheeky shit) nipped into the 'rents' room for a kip under their bed. He's not allowed in there full-stop, because he's such a bully. The fact he had to be dragged out by his scruff, with me moaning OW OW OW suggests he was planning a pointy surprise for Mia sometime tonight.
So enough talk, here we are. Included both legs to emphasise the colouring. I'm pretty pale - this is not a healthy tan. Oh and yes - I am hairy. I have no desire to touch the swollen and bruised leg, even with a razor, if I can cover it up in the mean time. Luckily my invite to the Large Women's MiniSkirt Ball has not yet arrived.
Holy hell, Sundae! You got the whole length of the shin there, that's pretty impressive.
Damn fine bruise ya got there - Proud of ya!
Gosh SG you sure blew Monnnie away! Yeouch! :eek:
Fun fact: if you scroll up so that only the bottom inch-and-a-half or so of Sundae's photo is showing at the top of your browser window, it looks distinctly like a man's bruised ass. This came to light because my stepdaughter walked around the corner and said, "Is that a picture of a butt?"
Ohh, forgot about this thread....
Thats really impressive Sundae!!
Yes, thats the underside of my boob...its the only thing that stopped the ski taking off my head :)
and when I get dared to take on the half pipe first time on the snowboard for the season....
Wow, SG -mine did eventually turn all those colors and more, but the size of yours is truly outstanding. Bruise.
It was a bit of a cheat to wait til the bruising came up so well, I admit. And I bruise so easily anyway.
Ducks! Blimey.
Thems some deep bruises. I don't even want to think about the under-boob one in relation to underwired bras!
Mum comes out tops with her bruised leg.
I do feel for her - but she has been extremely pissy because of it.
She blames Grandad because he summoned them round there at 08.00 for something that could have waited. This "put them all behind" (the 'rents have a hectic schedule of cleaning and shopping now they are retired). Then Dad had to go and get takeaway for Gdad, because he didn't want to go to daycare after all the hoo-ha (it was a broken lamp). Then the snow starts to fall. And Aylesbury gets gridlocked. So it takes Dad an hour to come back with a cold burger and fries.
Mum and Dad give up going into town for their own little treat at this point, and decide to check out the refurbishment to the estate pub - the Dairy Maid.
Walking down there, Mum slips over. Refuses to let Dad help her up as he has a bad back. Is evenutally helped by a white van man, comes home and lies on the sofa. At which point I come home from school, full of festive cheer, only to receive a bitter tirade against Grandad who is accounted solely responsible.
Hmmmm. I remember when I went over on my birthday year before last, because a woman in front of me stopped suddenly and my ankle turned on a cracked pavement. Mum promptly told her that it wasn't her fault, it was mine for wearing silly shoes.
So funnily enough, I've offered sympathy, but not condoned the bitching and self-pity. Especially since I caught her telling my brother's MOTHER-IN-LAW (a woman she has no respect for) on the phone that no-one else in this house knew how to clean a bathroom apparently. I cleaned the stupid bathroom (which was spotless anyway) but I did make it obvious I'd heard her. No word about everything else I've done - some at her request and some at my own instigation...
All that aside (getting it off my chest), here is the bruise pic. She's got dolly lallies for a 64 year old! And yes, I do feel like a mean witch of a daughter when I look at it.
Old people bruise easier, right? Because their veins are thinner and break more easily under the surface? That's the theory I'm going with. Because goddamn.
I get my bruising ability from her :)
M-M-M. That looks like it hurts.
Doesn't it kind of suck a huge donkey dick when the folks' world turns on such lilliputian-like events of a broken lamp or cold hamburger? Mine are very much the same. I feel for your situation, SG, but if I know you, you are making the BEST of it and being a good example to them as well. My own mother LOVES to bring out her PAM personality (Piss And Moan) but I prefer to be happy - even if I have to delude myself to that end.
Looks pretty bad SG. Is she on daily asprin or some blood thinner?
Nope. Not as far as I know anyway.
She used to take daily aspirin but then worried it wasn't the right thing to do.
Her Mum was a real bleeder too. Nan once told me she was borderline haemophiliac. Which I parroted to many people before realising haemophilia is a disease and you can't be "borderline"...!
Nan did bruise and bleed spectacularly, as do I. Mum is far more careful, but it turns out she can bruise to buggery too.
Not that it important at this time, but you may want to get your blood tested. A simple tube of blood sent to the lab could allow you to discover a different kind of clotting disorder. There are quite a few of them and it might be nice to know if you ever needed an emergency surgery or had a massive blood loss.
Merc, I missed that.
Sadly, one of the drawbacks of free healthcare is that you don't get to choose what you are teasted for.
But the flip side is that in the event of a problem, any affects will be dealt with free of charge.
I don't think I have anything really damaging. Just that I bruise like a pear.
Today I had my previous contraceptive implant removed, and a new one fitted.
They had to manhandle me a little as the implant has settled into "an envelope". Of my body, retch, retch. I didn't tell them til halfway through that I was extremely squeamish. I am, I really am, but the timing was slightly disingenuous move. If I tell them at the start they think, "Silly cow, we do this every day!" if I tell them at the end they've already judged me for sweating and swallowing and making faces. Halfway through they applaud me for my bravery and say how well I'm doing and it does relax me.
Trust me, this is a technique honed when giving blood, so at least it was perfected in times of charity. And this is my third and most difficult implant so far. I was butchered! Well, okay, not really. But they did worry about how tidy they were being.
9 hours later, expect more pics:
That looks like it was painful. :3_eyes:
freakin; ouch!!! boy am i glad i don;t bruise easily or i;d be black and blue all the time all over!!
On the bright side, they did give you a nice profile of a llama or a horsie or something.
Look close at that bandage! Is that the profile of the Virgin Mary?? I mean really look close and turn the image to the side. Surely, I'm not the only one to notice
Actually it didn't turn out too bad.
I've had far worse bruising without any benefits.
Sarge - no, you're looking at my profile. This is just a picture of my arm.
Look close at that bandage! Is that the profile of the Virgin Mary?? I mean really look close and turn the image to the side. Surely, I'm not the only one to notice
If the Virgin Mary is a unicorn then, yes.
ouch. they weren't very gentle with you.
I don't bruise easily, they almost never show. Not a he-man, just, I don't know. Not many bruises. I have *no idea* who hit me with a bat on my leg this week, but it hurt like hell, which was a surprise because it was invisible. Now it feels a lot better, but it looks like hell.
@grynch: boxer briefs. you're welcome.
Nice boxer briefs!
And the colour sets off the bruising nicely too.
It looks like it must have been painful...
Fell over in the shower the other day.
Not a euphemism.
We have an enamel bath with the shower above it, and usually use a rubber bath mat inside the bath to prevent slipping. I haven't been using it recently because although the bath can be scrubbed (and yes, I do), the small amount of pink dye secreted when I wash my hair, even after a month, stains the mat. And I know it drives Dad crazy.
It just happened that I was a little dazed and confused at that point, and was only showering that evening because Mum thought we might have an emergency call to say good bye to Grandad.
My slip was on exiting the bath. My foot genuinely slipped, but I wonder if on another occasion I might have saved myself better.
I fell completely out of the bath, banged my head and wrenched my neck. Conveniently, Mum attributed this to Dad and said I must never shower without a mat in future. She's right in that the initial slip was because I wasn't using a mat. But I still felt a bit mean anyway.
So here is my (still developing) bruise. Doesn't hurt anywhere near as the head bruise, which kicks in whenever I change facial expression, or the neck and shoulder pain which make it hard to sleep.
But it's the only visual one. And quite impressive I think.
It actually continues down my arm, past my elbow, but almost impossible to get that shot myself.
fucking ouch.
a head injury is more serious... you're ok?
Days ago - I survived.
I wonder that I did give it a real bash though...
Poooor poor baby. I hope you didn't seriously injure anything. I hope the pain goes away soon.
Poor babe. That looks so rough
Sorry about your pain, Sundae. But as someone who loves bruises, I have to say: it's fantastic!
I see a scotty dog in your bruise!
Are you in less pain, Sundae?
The very top of my head still twinges when I change facial position.
I'm taking painkillers for my neck and shoulder - right now they're okay but they hurt like buggery when I was washing my hair earlier OWWWWWWWWWWWW!
See how I get on tonight.
My arm is fine, the bruise is green-y now but doesn't hurt unless I poke it.
I'm not poking it.
And I know it drives Dad crazy.
I'm thinking your folks might be easily crazed. :)
Sorry about ur bruise.
He's got a point - he buys a perfectly good bath mat, and I "ruin" it.
Then he has to buy another one.
Now I think pink improves a utilitarian white rubber mat. But he doesn't.
Dad doesn't really go crazy. He just sulks and moans to Mum.
Who gets annoyed and then moans at me.
But only after it's been replaced.
Would a brief spray of diluted bleach after your shower clear it up before they have a chance to see it?
Oh I always clean the bath - a quick scrub with a scourer cleans the enamel.
But it does stain some products, and whatever the mat is made of is one of them.
Still, Mum told me firmly she would rather buy a new bathmat than have me knock myself out, so I am allowed to use it now. I might buy a couple next payday and proffer them as an olive branch.
Then again, I'm back to normal colours once school starts, and they don't permanently stain.
How much trouble is it to switch out the bathmat? Can you have "your" bathmat that you use for your showers and then replace their pristine bathmat when you are done?
Well, it's WET.
Photo of rolled up bathmat.
Close up of pink tinted sealant...
Blame whoever used regular caulk instead of silicone...
Deflection to the one who isn't there to defend him/herself usually works well. :/
jeebus. this rises to the level of a problem compared to a fall in the bathroom?! buy them a PINK bathmat. problem solved.
I did offer that actually, but then the problem went away in term time.
Anyway, it was only one fall in three years...
Bruise pretty much all gone.
Still a bit tender in the neck, but nowhere near the gasp-inducing pain I had before.
Classic, if I criticised the way my Dad decorated the bathroom I might get anything from a polite invitation to do it next time, to a kick up the arse to help me on my way out the door :)
Oh sorry, didn't realize he id the caulking. That wouldn't be a good idea.
holy crap sundae!!!! at least you could've slipped whilst shagging in the shower!! freakin' ouch!!!!
Well, she never actually said she didn't.
Here's last month's bruise. I think it was my first time shooting skeet. Still working out my hold position.
damn - you shooting mags or what?
Here's last month's bruise. I think it was my first time shooting skeet. Still working out my hold position.
You've got a nice floral pattern going on there.
damn - you shooting mags or what?
No, 2 3/4" #71/2 shot. I just wasn't setting it into my shoulder all the way.
@Pete, it's my early art training, it sticks with me.
...I just wasn't setting it into my shoulder all the way...
I bet you pull that fucker in tight, now. I'd prolly squeal like a girl if'n I took a 12 ga. kick to the bicep. Ow,
fucking oww!That looks like my bicep but my shoulder joints are really loose, that's actually the bottom of my deltoid!
One of my high school buddies was turkey hunting and a gobbler came up on him from behind. He swung on him one-handed with a ten gauge. He got the bird but couldn't pick it up.
One of my high school buddies was turkey hunting and a gobbler came up on him from behind. He swung on him one-handed with a ten gauge. He got the bird but couldn't pick it up.
No shovel?
Couldn't move his arm.
;) I know.
Phew, I thought you meant he shot his hand off.
[COLOR="White"](I know too, was just late to the party)[/COLOR]
It's not a bruise, but it's close enough.
As explained in
'mildly irritating' I tried to scratch my arm off in my sleep. I should be a professional sleeper. The swelling is almost gone but I still think I arm wrestled a grizzly. :blush:
Not a good picture, but you get the gist.
You know, that sort of thing happened to this girl named Rosemary... and then it turned out Satan had impregnated her while she slept.
You were probably itching because there were bugs burrowing under your skin.
I think I'd rather be carrying satan's baby!
You were probably itching because there were [COLOR="Red"]turtles[/COLOR] burrowing under your skin.
Satan does have a great job with benefits!
I haven't the foggiest idea what that means.
Completely and utterly disgusting.
Details please.
Ouchies!
Did this involve a motorbike, by any chance?
He was mauled by a rare Ohio coyote.
holy jesus fuck!!! think i'd rather pop a boner and slam it again and again with a cinder block than have that happen to my ankle!
Completely and utterly disgusting.
Details please.
I had all my weight on my left leg on an icy parking lot and my foot shot out from underneath me.
Years of playing hockey and I never got anything more than a cut on my head, but a slip in a parking lot got me out of work for 8 weeks.
it looks like they left a few extra bits in there ;)
It's going to be extra fun next time you go through the metal detector at the airport!
It's not a bruise, but it's close enough.
As explained in 'mildly irritating' I tried to scratch my arm off in my sleep. I should be a professional sleeper. The swelling is almost gone but I still think I arm wrestled a grizzly. :blush:
Not a good picture, but you get the gist.
You know, that sort of thing happened to this girl named Rosemary... and then it turned out Satan had impregnated her while she slept.
Hmmmm Interesting angle
:bolt:
BAN THE BITCH!
Throw some raw liver on her arm and bolt the cellar door! Raw lover will be an acceptable substitute, but be sure to run like hell.....
Raw liverzzzzzzzzz... :yum:
holy jesus fuck!!! think i'd rather pop a boner and slam it again and again with a cinder block than have that happen to my ankle!
:eek:JFC philthy, how the fuck does such a thought even occur in the mind?!
:lol2:
Personally, I'd rather cut my foot off at the knee with a rusty badger than slam my little buddy with a, well w/anything except a vagina.
He was mauled by a rare Ohio coyote.
Everyone knows coyotes need to be well done.
TF,IBHAW, Try the rusty badger.
Sorry, missed you post in the distugtingness that was maine's open wound[s].
Blimey Infi - I hope you don't have a "little surprise" come next full moon. And by "little surprise" I mean a litter of puppies.
Cute and all, but I bet they play hell on the nipples.
This is what Lyme disease looks like!
DOXYCYCLINE, STAT!!!
Man, I got bitten on the nutsack by a tick when I was hiking in Japan, I made damn sure I got onto antibiotics straight away just in case. I'm not having a big red rash like that on my plums, no thank you.
Slipped on stairs.
Sober.
Had my arms out to grab Diz because he was trying to chase Mia up the stairs.
They're not supposed to be out at the same time, but Dad opened both the doors, and after all you can't really blame someone with dementia for not remembering a cat timetable.
Have similar bruises on thigh and shoulder, - I fell on my right side - but more difficult to photograph.
Wow that makes my forearm bruise that I acquired yesterday helping rope a cow look like a baby bruise! :eek:
I see a screaming face.
I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
Your story is far cooller though.
I always pride myself on being the best cow turner. They have to turn their head in the direction of the roper unfortunately running thru the woods makes for tree root tripping. I caught myself with my forearms and boobs. Only the former bruised along with my ego. ;) Hard to take a picture of one's forearm... who knew?
I always pride myself on being the best cow turner. They have to turn their head in the direction of the roper unfortunately running thru the woods makes for tree root tripping. I caught myself with my forearms and boobs. Only the former bruised along with my ego. ;) Hard to take a picture of one's forearm... who knew?
We'll settle for a picture of your boobs. You know, just to be sure they weren't bruised.:blush:
... unfortunately running thru the woods makes for tree root tripping.
First my Mum going out at night in her nightie, knowing there might be an escaped prisoner. Now you talking bout running and tripping because there's a pyshco behind you with a rope...
I seem to be living in a horror story.
Even though I made some of that up.
We'll settle for a picture of your boobs. You know, just to be sure they weren't bruised.:blush:
QFT.
...because I win.
Went out the front door in flip flops yesterday AM. CCA front deck and steps were quite wet. Stepped down onto second step, encountered a zero friction episode, legs flew straight out, and my lower back came directly down, full force, onto the edge of the second step. Pic on the left was taken about five hours post incident, pic on the right was taken about 18 hours post incident. I am truly grateful that I apparently did not break my back. To be completely fair, the second pic is taken considerably closer in than the first, but I think the depth of the stunning purple hue speaks for itself.
The wires are from my TENS unit, for which I am exceedingly grateful.
Ah babes!
Nasty.
Guess you have to go missionary position for a while then?
I too am grateful you didn't break your back!
Holy crap! Glad you're (relatively) unscathed. That is a beautiful shade of plum, though.
Rorshack bruise.
I see a .....Comet entering atmosphere
Rorshack bruise.
I see a .....Comet entering atmosphere
Bouquet of violets.
I see a dog face.
You're turning violet, Violet! jebus i aint ever seen no bruise like that! ouch indeed.
In the first picture, I see the Roadrunner. (beep beep!)
Minifobette walked in front of a swinging kid today, and got kicked across the cheekbone. Here's what it looks like 6 hours later. We're teaching her to say "You should see the other guy" when everyone asks about it tomorrow.
or you could teach her to say "momma warned me...."
;)
Not so mini any more, eh? Hope it's not so tender it hurts when she moves her face :( Poor Mini.
I know, she just turned 6 a couple weeks ago. It's kind of nuts. Plus, she's catching up on her perpetually-undersized brother. She's two years younger but there's some clothing items they can share.
I feel old.
Just wait until she's traveling around Europe on her own, then you'll know O L D.
Not old, successful. :thumb:
...and got kicked across the cheekbone...
Well, damn...
"...the first rule about fight club..."
Looking even more badass as it heals.
Definitely your child... not in the shiner department, in everything else.
she's so cute, and that shot, though she's looking right at the camera, seems so candid...
How does she feel about the whole deal? The change in her appearance, the questions (that you anticipated), not to mention the whole getting kicked in the face part, etc.
She's been surprisingly indifferent. She thought it was strange the first time I wanted to take a picture, but now she's enjoying seeing the progression in the series. Otherwise she doesn't seem to notice it in the mirror. We warned her that people would ask her what happened, but each time she's just told the story without any drama, like what she had for lunch. When it happened she only cried for a few minutes, less than she has for much smaller injuries, but all her friends were around her that time so she may have felt like she had to man up.
or...
it was all that oxytocin in the air.
Still, I'm glad she's doing well. I hate seeing my kids suffer (your kids, anybody's kids), BUT, if there's good to be had from it, like learning that you can take a punch, literal and figurative, and there's no permanent damage, then I can endure my suffering with a minimum of tears. Good for her!
[ATTACH]48243[/ATTACH] not a bruise, yet. But I skinned my knee falling over in front of a bus. Was hoping to go to a dance, but in the end I did not go to the ball!
Sent by thought transference
when it goes green, you'll have a limey....
Was hoping to go to a dance, but in the end I did not go to the ball!
Sorry to hear your coach turned back to a pumpkin ahead of schedule. :(
Shit, Limes!
I tole you Arran was dangerous.
Hope Mr Limey looked after you and the cats don't use you as a springboard until its scabbed over.
I have big feet. Unless I'm some unusually deep stairs, my feet usually don't fit on the risers. I'm used to it. Going up, I'm on the balls of my feet on the noses of the treads and my heels don't touch; going down, I consciously tap my heel into the riser at the back of the stairstep and my toes overhang. I slipped on the stairs at work yesterday, both times heading down the stairs. The first time, I had my hand on the railing and my feet just went zooop! forward and onto my ass I went, my back cracked against the stairs. Owwwwwch. I was creaky and sore.
The second time I slipped was backing down the stairs on the catwalks in the lower bay. The treads are expanded metal, steel plates with a zigzag pattern on the upturned edges of the perforations for traction. As I was backing down these steps (like you back down a ladder) my foot slipped through the open risers and shot forward. Fortunately, I maintained my footing because my leg stopped when my shin hit the edge of the step above the one my foot slipped on.
This was the result.
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My reservoir of colorful language was severely depleted.
Damn V. That looks painful. Sorry!
Be careful. Take care of yourself, but also don't get yourself fired for being a klutz.
Are those treads all covered in oil?
Consider wearing shin guards under your clothing at work.
Story later.
May report slightly different photo in RFN jut to whore it out about.
A few days ago bit just look a little darker and a little less puffy.
Oh, my. Cold packs needed .... :(
Damn, V, that looks painful. Your back must be in pain too. Pay attention to your back. There are usually consequences to falls like that.
Holy crap V. Did you have that looked at?
Sounds like you just looked at it. I looked at it earlier. Bunch o' people looked at it.
There's no way I can compete in this thread with Sundae, I concede. So, in my drive for second place:
Same leg, same ankle a few days later. They were taken in a different house, the lighting's different, but they're quite purple. The very distinct line of bruising on my ankle near my heel is very interesting. I don't remember hurting my ankle at all. But my ankle remembers it.
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Damn V. That looks painful. Sorry!
Be careful. Take care of yourself, but also don't get yourself fired for being a klutz.
Are those treads all covered in oil?
Yes. Pics to follow.
I was watching Lost bonus extras (yes, despite having finished all six seasons my addiction has yet to abate) - and came across a behind the scenes for the episode 'The Whole Truth' showing the makeup for 'Henry Gale'.
Given the Cellar's collective obsession with bruising, I thought I'd post it here :P
The makeup bit starts at 2.26
[YOUTUBE]T5ZT4hg1fPs[/YOUTUBE]
The bit that got me was the hand - it looked so hideously painful as he was dabbing away at it - even knowing it was all fake.
Derby Kisses.
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The bandage will make it feel like a stranger.
That's not a bruise. That's a laceration
The bandage will make it feel like a stranger.
Quoted for effect.
The bandage will make it feel like a stranger.
Hello, stranger!
:D, but, sorry bout ur hand.
Hand exerting force, slips, drives forward, gash, curses.
Just a guess.
Fuck-ing ouch!
It's in another thread, V.
They let you pick the color of your stitches now?!
HAAAAAANDSHARK!!!!
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Were there some colorful expressions uttered when that happened? That is going to leave an interesting scar.
Nothing too original. I think a simple FUCK! was about it. I kept looking away and then looking back at it because I couldn't believe it was real and was waiting for it to go away. It didn't work.
HAAAAAANDSHARK!!!!
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OK, I can't do it - somebody get a treadmill under that shark...
glatt, your injury reminds me of this injury I sustained back in July. I was walking backward in the shop and I stepped (mostly) into the opening to the pit. Whoops. As I flailed my arms my hand eventually landed (mostly) on the safety net covering the opening. But not after I'd dragged across the upward facing end of an S hook used to hold the batten at the end of the net securely to the wall.
This injury hurt like a MF for a long time, turns out that spot gets a LOT of traffic, the outer corner of the heel of your hand. You can find this spot (if you're right handed like me) by moving the mouse, and then noticing where you're pivoting your hand. Yep, right on the ouchie.
No stitches for me though. There was a lot of blood and cursing. When I got it cleaned up, I could see the little blobs of fat and other interesting stuff normally found it the "Visible Man" illustrations.
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Hashtag #ouch
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Walking backward? Who do you think you are, Michael Jackson. :eyebrow:
@Glatt
Stitches? WTF? Don't you have any duct tape around?
but srsly
ow
I got the stitches out two weeks ago but had kept it covered until today because it hadn't completely closed up yet. I figure it's good enough now. No more feeling like it's pulling open when I'm using the hand.
I'll call it healed. One month later.
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Looks like a Star Trek insignia.
That is really a cool scar.
glad you're better glatt
my hand, I'd be chewing, clipping, cutting, sanding off all those little flappy bits. that shit would drive me nuts.
Yeah, I'd be gnawing on that. Good scar bro!
So, on Tuesday this happened... while installing some ductwork on a rehab project a piece of it fell about 8 feet and hit my hand - cut side down. This was my first experience with the guillotine effect.
Thankfully, I was working with my son and he was able to help me create a compression bandage and get it wrapped up pretty tightly before I lost too much blood.
While driving me to the hospital ER in West Chester I noticed my vision when monochrome and then everything went completely white. Somehow cutting my hand made me go blind. Very weird. It only lasted for a few minutes and then I could see normally again.
When we got there and finished the 8 page admission paperwork we were told it would be an hour+ wait... (*&^%*^%$'s) My patience waning I basically said fuck you very much and we left for the Urgent care facility 15 minutes away. I was still bleeding pretty bad and took a calculated risk. They only 5 pages of admission paperwork and saw me in 15 minutes.
The duct hit the floor and my hand on an angle only hitting the outside of my pinky finger. Had it hit flush to the floor I'd be posting missing fingers. I guess after they cleaned the blood off it, it didn't look so bad.
The asst tookmy vitals 118/78 and cleaned up my hand. After the Doc took a look he sent me to the hand surgeon who luckily had an immediate opening. Off we went and he checked thing a little more closely.
Apparently I damaged or severed the nerves on the outside of my finger and it was completely numb - but just on the outside part.
We are taking a wait and see approach till Monday to determine if I need surgery or not. Currently I have feeling in the top segment of my finger, but the bottom two are still numb.
Let the finger jokes commence :thumb:
Holy fucking shit!!
You told them about the blindness, yes??
Hell yeah - Doc said I was probably going into shock. Not to be too graphic, but the blood was pouring out of the wound till we got the makeshift bandage on it. I kept my wits and stayed calm. I didn't want my son freaking out - even though he showed ZERO signs of that - he even slapped my face a couple times to make sure I was awake and alert. We made/make a good team in crisis situations.
Good gawd damn! That is some scary stuff!
Fuckin West Chester ER, that makes me furious, did you tell the triage people about the blindness? Can't handle patients in shock on a Tuesday?
I was in no mood to discuss anything with them. They were totally nonchalant about the entire issue. We were there long enough to see 3-4 people go in ahead of me while blood was still dripping off my elbow. I don't know what was wrong with them, but they looked a damn site better than I. None of them appeared to be physically injured in any way.
In retrospect, I'm actually glad I left. Now I won't have to pay the THOUSANDS they would have charged me for being treated there because I can only afford this crappy insurance that doesn't cover shit until I pay $6000 out of pocket. grrrrrrrrrrrr
That's gonna make it hard to pick your nose for awhile.
Looks like you're gonna be crippled for a while.:jagoff:
I'm sorry about your finger.
That could have easily been a whole lot worse. Coulda just peeled the digit clean.
Actually sorry about your finger. *ouch*
Wow, dude. Glad your son was able to drive you!
Holy shit Classic, that looks horrible.
Classicman - you are in my prayers. this is terrible
Actually am sorry about ur finger.
(But this is a one time deal, got it?)
Wow..
I'm glad things have turned out as well as they have. Keep it elevated, you'll figure that out. Take your medicine, especially the pain meds.
Oh yeah, don't do that again.
lo, - No meds were ever offered. All I got was a tetanus shot.
Check on the elevated. I also decided to splint it so the nerves have a better chance to heal.
No thanks, I don't want to do that, take it off your bucket list
Well ... I did as I was told, but decided against the surgery (primarily because of the financial cost). The outside 1/2 of the lower two segments are still numb. Inside is REALLY tender, but the surface is basically healed albeit a little dry.
pics or it didn't happen.
update us
Unfortunately, Sundae is having a longer stay in hospital than perhaps was expected due to a nutritional based problem.
We had a chat this morning and she asked me to post pics of bruises acquired from canula and blood test needles.
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The long scratch was self-inflicted while in the shower due to a jagged finger nail.
Sundae describes herself as 'lonely with flashes of humour'.
May have more later.
Carruthers.
Oweeee, Sundae. Please get right soon.
'lonely with flashes of humour'.
That's our girl.
And to answer my own question: No. This girl can not catch a fucking break.
Get well, Sundae.
Hang in there Cherry! A little island visit is in your future... <3
It certainly is!
Sent by thought transference
I'm out again btw.
Phew.
Only 16 nights this time.
Start packing! Get your ass to that fresh-aired Island paradise ASAP!
I'm out again btw.
Try to keep it that way.:o
I'm out again btw.
Phew.
Only 16 nights this time.
Sweet freedom!
I came here to post a bruise but...
Yeah, need a new bruise thread. :(
Thought of her when I saw the thread title.:(
No, I disagree, I don't think we need a new thread. I think Cherry would be envious of this one on my left elbow, from a wee tumble two days ago:
OOOOO... that's a nice one. My bike fails have not been terribly productive.
Do we have enough to put together a whole bruised body, yet?
Bloody Hell, Limey!
I was quite surprised, too. Mr Limey hasn’t mentioned it when he has helped me to undress....
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Do we have enough to put together a whole bruised body, yet?
You’re the one with the photoshop skillz to to it if’n anyone can.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I was quite surprised, too. Mr Limey hasn’t mentioned it when he has helped me to undress....
If he's anything like beest either didn't notice or assumed you knew.... :lol:
Must have been paying attention to other things.
I hope it wasn't his wee.
I hope it wasn't his wee.
:eek: you suspect Mr. Limey thinks it's a jelly fish sting?
Fookin ell
You must have tried to catch yourself. Just roll out when you fall next time.
Suggested alternatives:
Just roll one when you fall next time.
Fookin ell
You must have tried to catch yourself. Just roll out when you fall next time.
Yes, I was wondering if that would have been more sensible.
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That is a really nice owie.
