Sexually Ambiguous Words
Double entendre words that have a non-sexual and sexual meaning.
Double points if you can show use of them in an everyday sentence and if you just say it normally, people will wonder whether you mean the sexual or non sexual content.
Hit me up with some of yours.......
"If I said you had a nice body would you hold it against me?"
"Something came up"
Oh and "I was tied up all night"
While you're down there...
Could I have a quick rummage in your drawers?
Ooooh....look at that tit over there *points to a bird*
what an ASS !!!
Sorry thats all I got for now , still early
"What a stunning cock you have there."
-"Why thank you, would you like to take a closer look at my cock?"
"No thanks, large cocks frighten me. I had a bad childhood experience with a cock like this."
-"I'm sorry to hear that. My cock has brought nothing but joy to others, so you are quite alright to get closer and touch it."
"Well okay.. My you were right, your cock surely is the best one I have ever encountered!"
-"Thanks, I get that a lot."
"It must be great to have a cock such as yours."
-"Yes, yes it is."
Not so much an ambiguous quote but a great line I just had to post.
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back............. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.
Recent Headline:
Bush Downunder
Here's a line you can use at work: when you spot an inuendo, you can say "Are we still talking about __________ ?"
(insert the harmless, original meaning) ... This leaves the listener to make the connection, or not, in their own mind.
Not right now but I'm... almost there.
The batter has two balls [/George Carlin]
Excuse me miss, would you happen to have a large box?
(from an ad in my local paper this week)
Beaver Stump Grinding... cheap, experienced
when showing a car to a customer:
it has tilt wheel for more head room
do you like it in the brown?
well, if your wife will be involved in the decision, I'd prefer to wait until she comes back with you tomorrow...and then we'll dicker.
It's no biggie.:rolleyes:
Go ahead and put your little smokies in my crockpot.
my boyfriend just gave me a pearl necklace!
Help Bill Clinton lick Bush in November. - Bumper sticker from back then.
Larry Craig: Thank you all very much for coming out today.
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Hello, I hope you can help, my horn needs screw.
(recent telcon between me and a musical instrument shop)
This evening whilst eating finger food from the chinese takeway, myself, and the two Js:
J (female): The spare ribs are a bit tough
me : yeah...but tasty...the honey glaze is beautiful
J (female): Oh yeah...tasty...hey I don't mind a bit of chewing...I'm all for chewing.
From Legally Blonde:
Delivery Guy: "I've got a package. It's a big one."
How's it hangin'?
I think that's single entendre there. Does it have a non-dirty meaning?
Mrs. Dallas formerly managed a sheet music store that sub-let space from a piano store. I forget what was going on, but the upshot is that they needed some help and some equipment (cough) from the store's handyman. Mrs. Dallas' assistant manager called back to arrange for said assistance. He then hung up the phone and said to her, "Fred said he'll be here in a minute. He's got a really long pole that should do the job."
They just looked at each other for a minute and then cracked up.
This'n is a verbal one so I dunno if it counts...
Me at work: Oooh you might wanna double bag that...the caulk always tends to poke out.
Guy customer: *snort, supressed laughter*
Me: *grin* Yeah, it's always awful, seeing customers half across the parking lot with their caulk poking out.
Guy customer: *laughs*
Wife of guy customer: *oblivious* Wha? ...Wait, why are you laughing?!
Guy customer: Nothing. I'm being good. *more laughter*
I love working at a hardware store :D
Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver?
Overheard at a furniture store:
Look, when we get home, I'll stick it in and see if it fits.
And at a local hardware store:
Miss, what I'm looking for is a nice long screw.
I think that's single entendre there. Does it have a non-dirty meaning?
absolutely - it's like saying - What's going on?:D
Since I work with alot "piping/plumbing" people vendors/employees, they are always talkin about "nipples" & "male/female" couplings. When I first started working here and heard that stuff, I was like wtf?
Do they ever stop talking and just lay some pipe?
I may have posted this, but it applies.
Me, at Outback curbside takeaway:
The server dude is a little....a lot....flamboyant. He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot....
anyway....and i know he does this on purpose....he always offers to "put it in the back door"
referring to the big bag of food...but he doesn't need the word 'door', does he?
i bet he gets a lot of dates that way
when you spot an inuendo
Hey fella, in
your end-o:3_eyes:
I found myself at a table full of food during happy hour at a new bar. I said to the waitress who was serving, "Five minutes ago the line was out the door and now there's no one here." And she replied, "Yeah, my customers come in spurts."
Mattress salesman.....
"A little bit 'o me comes with every mattress you buy"
So, this cute wholesaler that I deal with all the time, always closes our phone calls with....
"Ok, you keep in touch with yourself now"
He runs in and out of there like a happy little running faggot....
Godspeed thru Texas, faggot...
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I was having a conversation at work.
Someone who had a pseudo-relation to my family was admitted, and some comments were made about the patient's dad's name. I explained the origin of what was actually a nickname, and in the course of the anecdote, I explained the situation ... they had both worked for the same well-known local confectionery company.
wolf: My uncle was the Master Baker, see.
cow orker: Master Baker? So was the nut's dad a big Master Baker too?
wolf: No, he was just a Pie Driver. My uncle was the Master Baker. My Grandfather was a Master Baker also. It runs in the family.
