Do you know the alphabet?

Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 1:40 pm
Recite it. Now.
What should we do with it? Explain your answers.
HungLikeJesus • Aug 30, 2007 1:44 pm
The interesting thing about the alphabet (any alphabet, really) is that we can use just a small set of characters to represent a huge range of sounds, and by combining them, almost any idea one can think of.

Compare this to Kanji, for example, and you can see that the alphabet is a great invention.

I'm voting 'yes.'
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 1:47 pm
I disagree! I think we should use it to fashion blunt objects.
When people speak out in favor of the wrong things, we can bludgeon them with it.
yesman065 • Aug 30, 2007 1:50 pm
or we could hook a bunch of letters together and make a chain out of it to tow stuff.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 1:50 pm
[SIZE="5"]YOU GUYS ARE OBVOUSLILY WRONG. [/SIZE]

Think of the children, why can't you think of the children?
HungLikeJesus • Aug 30, 2007 1:52 pm
Flint made baby Jesus cry.
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 1:53 pm
Shawnee123;380253 wrote:
Think of the children, why can't you think of the children?
What are children, if not lumps of mashed-up letters?
Your precious alphabet is sucking the life out of our children.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 1:53 pm
Flint makes everyone cry. ;)
HungLikeJesus • Aug 30, 2007 1:54 pm
Flint;380256 wrote:
What are children, if not lumps of mashed-up letters?
Your precious alphabet is sucking the life out of our children.


So, babies are stuffed with alphabets, struggling to escape.

That explains the noise.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 1:55 pm
If you would follow the teachings in Da Book, you would know you are headed down the path to hell.
HungLikeJesus • Aug 30, 2007 1:58 pm
You are right. From now on my posts will contain no alphabets.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 1:58 pm
im in ur postz, stealin' ur alphabetz
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 2:01 pm
SOUP!
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 2:05 pm
SOUPFIG
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 2:07 pm
WTLame? Really.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 2:08 pm
lumberjim;380268 wrote:
SOUP!


Flint;380272 wrote:
SOUPFIG


:lol:
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 2:10 pm
urban dick shunary
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 2:47 pm
Two Thumbs UP! Lumberjim!

(uh, make sure you keep the punctuation or that could sound really bad!)
Happy Monkey • Aug 30, 2007 3:02 pm
A plan for the improvement of spelling in the English language
By Mark Twain
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Generally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeiniing voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x"— bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivili.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev alojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 3:35 pm
I love Twain! :)
Cicero • Aug 30, 2007 3:38 pm
Waht the hlel is he talinkg aobut? Who craes aoubt sllepnig as lnog as you hvae all the lerttes?
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 3:45 pm
Cicero, I love ya girl, but you too are not [FONT="Impact"]thinking of the children[/FONT]! :lol:
Cicero • Aug 30, 2007 4:37 pm
You guys are making me really hungry..............

What should we do with "the" alphabet? Make another letter to confuse everybody.....and not explain it or what it sounds like or does. There.
glatt • Aug 30, 2007 4:44 pm
Cicero;380368 wrote:
What should we do with "the" alphabet? Make another letter to confuse everybody.....and not explain it or what it sounds like or does. There.
HungLikeJesus • Aug 30, 2007 4:48 pm
Cicero;380368 wrote:
You guys are making me really hungry..............


Yesterday, french fries. Today, alphabets. Shawnee's going to make someone eat their words.
Trilby • Aug 30, 2007 4:53 pm
Personally, I'm against the alphabet. It's chauvinistic and demeans women. i prefer a language based entirely on eye movements, creamed corn and lit torches.
SteveDallas • Aug 30, 2007 5:09 pm
HungLikeJesus;380255 wrote:
Flint made baby Jesus cry.

I expect Baby Jesus hasn't STOPPED crying since Flint started using teh Internets.
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 5:21 pm
I like to ask myslef "What Would Baby-Jesus Do?" ...and when I'm pretty sure he would cry, I know I'm on the right path.
Crimson Ghost • Aug 30, 2007 5:23 pm
I expect Jesus hasn't stopped crying since he was used as a tree decoration.
Shawnee123 • Aug 30, 2007 5:23 pm
Brianna;380385 wrote:
Personally, I'm against the alphabet. It's chauvinistic and demeans women. i prefer a language based entirely on eye movements, creamed corn and lit torches.


Geezy petes, why you wanna make me spit diet coke all over my desk?
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 5:24 pm
Crimson Ghost;380409 wrote:
I expect Jesus hasn't stopped crying since he was used as a tree decoration.
We're talking BABY Jesus, though. He's a seperate entity from adult Jesus, father God, and Holy Ghost.
Crimson Ghost • Aug 30, 2007 5:27 pm
Ah.
I know what makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Ever see a 1st Century rectal thermometer?
Trilby • Aug 30, 2007 5:33 pm
Crimson Ghost;380415 wrote:
Ever see a 1st Century rectal thermometer?


Did it look like a fossilized walrus penis?
monster • Aug 30, 2007 7:21 pm
By it's very nature, the alphabet must dominate all the other bets or be outcast.

I blame Sesame Street.
fargon • Aug 30, 2007 10:38 pm
This is my alphabet. QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM.
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 12:56 am
fargon;380568 wrote:
This is my alphabet. QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM.


Same alphabet, different order?
Crimson Ghost • Aug 31, 2007 1:04 am
Brianna;380420 wrote:
Did it look like a fossilized walrus penis?


Only if it's attached to fossilized priest...
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 1:19 am
HungLikeJesus;380380 wrote:
Yesterday, french fries. Today, alphabets. Shawnee's going to make someone eat their words.


That's a good one.
lumberjim • Aug 31, 2007 1:46 am
C is for Corn in your poop
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 1:53 am
humblejim, don't you sleep?
fargon • Aug 31, 2007 1:54 am
HungLikeJesus;380614 wrote:
Same alphabet, different order?


Now I am all confused.
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 2:05 am
fargon;380637 wrote:
Now I am all confused.


And why is midnight midnight, when it's the divide between today and yesterday?
NoBoxes • Aug 31, 2007 4:33 am
Shawnee123;380247 wrote:
Do you know the alphabet?
Recite it. Now.
What should we do with it? Explain your answers.


This thread is being held over for binding arbitration. That's right, I'm invoking the Vanna White clause! Vanna, pick me a letter.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 8:18 am
I thank you all for coming. (Starts stacking papers and putting in briefcase.) I believe I have enough information to take back to Corporate. Here's my card. Call me if you remember anything else. And don't leave town.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 9:14 am
HungLikeJesus;380624 wrote:
That's a good one.


I hear ya, Jesus. Sometimes I have to tell myself I made a funny too. :blush: But, you're always pretty darn funny.
Rexmons • Aug 31, 2007 10:50 am
i kinda like the turkish alphabet, the "C" with the line under it represents the English "CH" and the "S" with the line under it represents the English "S"

Image
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 10:53 am
They have great baths, too.
Rexmons • Aug 31, 2007 10:53 am
oh yea the regular "C" makes and english "J" sound and the turkish "J" makes the french sound like in Jacques Cousteau
Rexmons • Aug 31, 2007 10:53 am
Shawnee123;380754 wrote:
They have great baths, too.


just make sure you go early in the morning...
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 10:54 am
Are you saying I stink? ;)
Cicero • Aug 31, 2007 11:18 am
I like greek- there's no J's. I mean.....do we really need J and C's anyway?
Or Thai because of the informal common practice of not using verbs.
Person then adjective.
Cicero ba-ba-bah-bo!!!
Rexmons • Aug 31, 2007 11:26 am
lol no the baths are communial and the water gets dumped at the end of the day and refilled early in the morning.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 11:29 am
Oh! Whew!
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 4:22 pm
Rexmons;380753 wrote:
i kinda like the turkish alphabet, the "C" with the line under it represents the English "CH" and the "S" with the line under it represents the English "S"



Then what does the s without the line under it represent?
Crimson Ghost • Sep 1, 2007 12:32 am
Cicero;380761 wrote:
I like greek


Thank you for that info.
wolf • Sep 1, 2007 11:36 am
Yeah, I know the alphabet. Bastard was over last week, drank all my beer, and didn't so much as bring a bag of chips along.
Shawnee123 • Sep 1, 2007 12:19 pm
I KNEW it! Damn alphabet...all like "I'm alpha, I don't have to care!" Next time wolf, kick it's lettery ass to the curb.
beauregaardhooligan • Sep 1, 2007 4:45 pm
G
A
T
C
and don't forget x and y
HungLikeJesus • Feb 26, 2008 12:42 am
I've spent the last seven months trying to kick the alphabet habit, but no luck. I did go to central Montana, up by the Canadian border, to a little schoolhouse that was originally built without any alphabet, by alphabet-free peoples, but which was later converted by the local women into something I can't print because people might read it.
xoxoxoBruce • Feb 26, 2008 1:43 am
I just read the record for typing the alphabet backward is 1.8 seconds.
HungLikeJesus • Feb 26, 2008 1:53 am
Yes, but that was one of those eastern European alphabets that only consists of four letters, which all look like bugs squashed between pages of the bible.
toranokaze • Mar 4, 2008 12:26 am
For get the alphabet, can't we all just go back to drawing pictures for our thoughts.

Besides a picture is worth a thousand words, so you can have most books down in what 20 pics or less.

Thus, it saves time and since time is money we all save money, therefore, saves the economy.

So ban letters and save the economy for the children.
Cloud • Mar 4, 2008 10:45 am
there are sections I don't know very well, and must recite in order. (Nor do I know my left and right well, but that's another thread.) In school, only the first few letters were my friends, but sadly, my most intimate acquaintance nowadays is merely a source of papercuts.
Happy Monkey • Mar 10, 2008 4:07 pm
Yuzz, Wum, Um, Humpf, Fuddle, Glikk, Nuh, Snee, Quan, Thnad, Spazz, Floob, Zatz, Jogg, Flunn, Itch, Yekk, Vroo, Hi, and
Image
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 11, 2008 12:07 am
Ah, in your own words....
Kingswood • Mar 11, 2008 1:40 am
Of course, Calvin got it wrong. It wasn't clear that he was indeed explaining Newton's First law of Motion. The correct answer should have been:

Newton's First Law of Motion yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
Shawnee123 • Mar 11, 2008 9:31 am
Except, as you should know, the Pubbawup Theorem was reportedly disproven by a team of researchers in Austria at the University of Vienna.
Kingswood • Mar 11, 2008 10:44 pm
Shawnee123;437833 wrote:
Except, as you should know, the Pubbawup Theorem was reportedly disproven by a team of researchers in Austria at the University of Vienna.

Thank goodness. For a moment I thought you said Juffo-Wup. Disproving Juffo-Wup would cause the Mycons to attack.