jinx, come here. I need you.

lumberjim • Aug 29, 2007 8:26 pm
Come down here and cook my steaks, woman. I'm getting in the tub! And your tea is getting cold.

love,

Jim
Trilby • Aug 29, 2007 9:15 pm
Did she come?
minnmirman • Aug 29, 2007 9:23 pm
jinxy! jinxy!

really thought of meet the parents there for a second. Could you swing by here and cook the chicken breasts i bought today (with a vague idea i would be able to prepare and consume them myself)?
SteveDallas • Aug 29, 2007 10:40 pm
What an example you are for the rest of us husbands, Jim. I think I'm going to post to one of Mrs. Dallas' mailing lists that we're running low on gin. Oh, and she needs to make an appointment for the birds to go to the vet.
DucksNuts • Aug 29, 2007 10:48 pm
Where is she?
SteveDallas • Aug 29, 2007 10:50 pm
My guess is, she's either cooking steaks, or she's hunting down a 2x4 to beat Jim upside the head with, depending on what kind of mood she was in when she read that.
Clodfobble • Aug 29, 2007 10:57 pm
Every time I see this thread, I hear Jack Black saying "Kage come here I WANT YOU."

Coincidental? I'm thinking it was a subconscious leak, at the very least.
wolf • Aug 29, 2007 10:58 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of Alexander Graham Bell ...
Flint • Aug 29, 2007 11:06 pm
Quit beating me to saying stuff.
lumberjim • Aug 29, 2007 11:18 pm
she came, she saw, she cooked my steaks.

i plan to use this thread to get a hold of her later. she never has her cell phone on her, and i turned off the home phone cuz its pointless.

worked great for me. oh, and my bath was lovely.
jinx • Aug 30, 2007 1:48 am
I'm not your bitch, you fucking cowboys fan.
Trilby • Aug 30, 2007 7:56 am
jinx;380110 wrote:
I'm not your bitch, you fucking cowboys fan.


Tell it on the mountain, woman!
yesman065 • Aug 30, 2007 8:36 am
jinx;380110 wrote:
I'm not your bitch, you fucking cowboys fan.


:eek: Ugghh - I always knew there was something wrong with lj - thanks for explaining it.
elSicomoro • Aug 30, 2007 11:16 am
Wow Jim...what a fine way to shoot yourself in the foot in front of a bunch of witnesses.
Flint • Aug 30, 2007 11:23 am
sycamore;380178 wrote:
Wow Jim...what a fine way to shoot yourself in the foot in front of a bunch of witnesses.
I'd say we all lost respect for him, but that would require us to have had some to begin with. [COLOR="White"]. . . [/COLOR] [COLOR="Silver"][SIZE="1"]Why are my sentences so complicated?[/SIZE][/COLOR]
jester • Aug 30, 2007 11:23 am
Wow lj, like how you started out with a "need", then became all domineering - you like s&m don't you?:rolleyes:
dar512 • Aug 30, 2007 11:36 am
Flint;380187 wrote:
Why are my sentences so complicated?

Complex thoughts require complex explanations.
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 3:22 pm
jinx, go get your phone!
Griff • Aug 30, 2007 3:24 pm
She's busy.
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 3:26 pm
sheddap, you.
monster • Aug 30, 2007 6:59 pm
You need to install a wireless doorbell that she can't reach/find. That's what we did for the kids :D
theotherguy • Aug 30, 2007 8:50 pm
This may be one of my favorite threads.
Aliantha • Aug 30, 2007 9:01 pm
I really thought he would have asked for pork chops instead of steak.
monster • Aug 30, 2007 9:04 pm
not Cock Au Vin?
Elspode • Aug 30, 2007 10:18 pm
Brianna;379997 wrote:
Did she come?


If she did, did she make a lot of noise and generally show approval at your command? If so, I require some advice on how to behave in such a commanding manner as my wife claims to want this sort of thing.
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 10:28 pm
it's good to have a hot wife with a sense of humor.
monster • Aug 30, 2007 10:41 pm
lumberjim;380564 wrote:
it's good to have a hot wife with a sense of humor.


when you say hot, do you mean about 350?
lumberjim • Aug 30, 2007 10:52 pm
~~SIZZLE~~

it's good to have a wife with a hot sense of humor.
skysidhe • Aug 31, 2007 9:44 am
jester;380188 wrote:
Wow lj, like how you started out with a "need", then became all domineering - you like s&m don't you?:rolleyes:


I dunno. He did seem to soften it by caring if her tea got cold or not. Although a ploy the thought was nice implying a bit of pussy whip-ed-ness. ;)
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 6:07 pm
LJ, I will now call you PeterSellers.

One afternoon, the doorbell rang in Peter Sellers's London flat. As Sellers was busy in his study, his wife Anne went to the door, where she was handed a telegram. The message? "Bring me a cup of coffee. Peter."
Elspode • Aug 31, 2007 6:28 pm
monster;380569 wrote:
when you say hot, do you mean about 350?


I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that I'm pretty sure that Jinx, even prior to the alterations, was approximately as hot as the surface of the sun. Or at least the chromosphere.
lumberjim • Aug 31, 2007 7:56 pm
she really wasn't.

really. she "GETS" me
jinx • Aug 31, 2007 8:15 pm
Wait. Did you just say I wasn't hot Jim - because I will change the locks...
zippyt • Aug 31, 2007 8:51 pm
Get him Jinx !!!
lumberjim • Aug 31, 2007 9:14 pm
ah...i missed the alterations part.....thought he meant he thought you were fuming.

s'what i get for peek-reading.

you look ravishing.....especially first thing in the morning in just a tshirt with your hair all messed up and sleep in your eyes.
zippyt • Aug 31, 2007 9:21 pm
Why Thanks LJ !!!

You look cute after I untie you from your post in the morning !!
lumberjim • Aug 31, 2007 9:28 pm
:::::shiver::::::
Elspode • Aug 31, 2007 9:56 pm
Dude...and I'm sure I don't need to tell you this...your woman is ridiculously hot. I'm not real sure you even deserve to be with a woman this hot. But I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Or at least a doubtful benefit.
jinx • Aug 31, 2007 9:59 pm
Aww Patrick, why you gotta make me blush? :blush:
SteveDallas • Aug 31, 2007 11:07 pm
Elspode;380949 wrote:
I'm not real sure you even deserve to be with a woman this hot.

You're "not real sure?" Oh, I have no doubt whatsoever.
Elspode • Aug 31, 2007 11:37 pm
jinx;380952 wrote:
Aww Patrick, why you gotta make me blush? :blush:


A bad sunburn couldn't make you blush, ya tart, ya.
lumberjim • Sep 20, 2007 12:00 pm
call me?
theotherguy • Sep 20, 2007 12:07 pm
The tone of your commands has become quite weak.
skysidhe • Sep 20, 2007 12:17 pm
theotherguy;387189 wrote:
The tone of your commands has become quite weak.



lol
lumberjim • Sep 20, 2007 4:17 pm
yeah, well...i wanted her to take my dry cleaning for me....



love ya, hunny!
theotherguy • Sep 20, 2007 4:43 pm
i have that problem. a wife who knows me very, very well and won't take any of my shit. oh, and opininated. not that jinx is. i am sure she is great. wonderful in fact. sorry honey. i love you. please don't hit me again. wait, it's your wife. not mine.
lumberjim • Oct 2, 2007 8:33 pm
mmmm......good turkey in a bag. thank you.
DucksNuts • Oct 2, 2007 9:23 pm
You yanks n your turkey
Aliantha • Oct 2, 2007 9:24 pm
gobble gobble
monster • Oct 2, 2007 9:27 pm
See, even Ali can't get cock off her mind....
SteveDallas • Oct 2, 2007 9:41 pm
DucksNuts;391396 wrote:
You yanks n your turkey

Yankin' your turkey?? :question:
Aliantha • Oct 2, 2007 9:45 pm
yes, I love cock
jinx • Oct 2, 2007 9:45 pm
Pre-marinated turkey tenders, grilled. Friggin easy... y'welcome.
Aliantha • Oct 2, 2007 9:48 pm
Jinx, how is it that you never fart?
jinx • Oct 2, 2007 9:52 pm
I burp a lot.
monster • Oct 2, 2007 9:52 pm
I never burp
DucksNuts • Oct 2, 2007 10:17 pm
I burp and I fart
zippyt • Oct 2, 2007 10:19 pm
thats why you don't bitch , you relive the pressure !!!
Aliantha • Oct 2, 2007 10:30 pm
If you don't burp and fart you must blow up eventually...mustn't you???

My husband is jealous of how well I fart but he thinks he's the best burper.

I think the decision is still pending.
lumberjim • Oct 2, 2007 11:45 pm
jinx has a gift. her burps turn heads in loud taprooms. my dad decided she was 'the one' after hearing her burp once in our early dating years.

we should, i think, at this stage, point out that this discussion came about because i gave her the user title ' never farts. ever.'

it's an exaggeration, obviously...she's not a seagull...i think it has to do with diet. she doesn't like bread...or beer......and her bacardi silvers are burpfodder.

Ok....now that we've discussed my lovely dainty wife's upper and lower GI function in great detail...I'm late for my beating.....It's always better if I just have her beat me first and tell her why afterwards. don't fear for me...it's worth it to me to bring you folks this level of entertainment.
DucksNuts • Oct 3, 2007 12:00 am
Pizza makes me fart.

How can you not like bread? Breads like....the best.
TheMercenary • Oct 3, 2007 6:32 am
lumberjim;391487 wrote:
jinx has a gift.

It's always better if I just have her beat me first and tell her why afterwards. don't fear for me...it's worth it to me to bring you folks this level of entertainment.

Could you post some pics for us? [SIZE="1"]{Esp the ones of Jinx in that leather dominatrix outfit}[/SIZE]Thanks in advance.
Sundae • Oct 3, 2007 10:49 am
Last night I had home-made vegetable curry and brown rice
Today I have been farting the 1812 Overture

It meant I was too worried to go to Water Workout, which didn't go well with HM.
Soddit, it was a genuine concern. Now ma bellah is calm I am going to have a bagel with low fat soft cheese. And jalapenos. Ah never mind, it's yoga and stability balls tomorrow.

Anyway, carry on....
jinx • Oct 3, 2007 12:37 pm
SG, do you soak your brown rice? It makes it more nutritious and easier to digest....
Sundae • Oct 4, 2007 12:46 pm
I haven't ever heard of that - no I don't. I assume you soak it before cooking? How long do you recommend? I'll willing to give it a try as long as it doesn't stop it being chewy - I like that.
jinx • Oct 4, 2007 12:59 pm
I usually soak things overnight with a couple drop of lemon juice to kill the phytic acid. Soaking will reduce your cooking time a bit, but shouldn't change the texture at all (unless you overcook it).
Here's some more info though.
Sundae • Oct 4, 2007 1:00 pm
cheers!
lumberjim • Nov 3, 2007 1:42 pm
hey....post that picture of His Noodly Appendages that we were blessed by last night at dinner!
jinx • Nov 3, 2007 6:58 pm
Ramen, brother...
DucksNuts • Nov 3, 2007 10:20 pm
WOW - you guys are blessed
Clodfobble • Nov 3, 2007 10:37 pm
Sell it on eBay!





I'm serious.
lumberjim • Nov 3, 2007 10:43 pm
we left it on the table like that. it was the fried soba noodles from our "Japanese Garden" desert. I don't think the waitress recognized it as the miracle that it plainly was.
Sundae • Nov 4, 2007 2:03 pm
lumberjim;403244 wrote:
it was the fried soba noodles from our "Japanese Garden" desert.

Was it terribly dry?
LJ • Dec 20, 2007 10:47 am
i forgot my phuckin phone.....

IM me if you need me.....

[cough]iloveyoudrycleaningiloveyou[/cough]
lookout123 • Dec 20, 2007 11:22 am
love you too jim, but you can get your own damn dry cleaning.
jinx • Dec 20, 2007 2:42 pm
grumblegrumblegrumble
lumberjim • Feb 21, 2008 10:53 pm
pssst. tea water is ready.......
lumberjim • Oct 23, 2009 12:40 pm
i think i forgot my phone
jinx • Oct 23, 2009 1:17 pm
Ya, you left it in the bathroom.
Undertoad • Oct 23, 2009 2:20 pm
Where it could all too easily be pushed right into the bowl...

...but you guys enforce the seat-down rule, eh??
Shawnee123 • Oct 23, 2009 2:51 pm
That doesn't help with the poop molecules.
Undertoad • Oct 23, 2009 2:57 pm
There are probably molecules all over that phone. It's been in that room for how long now.
Shawnee123 • Oct 23, 2009 3:00 pm
*dialing hazmat hotline*
classicman • Oct 23, 2009 3:14 pm
just don't use Jim's phone - ewwwwwwwwwwww
lumberjim • Oct 23, 2009 3:28 pm
OH MANNNNN.

my phone is infected with poop molecules now...

i'll have to sanitize it for my protection.
Undertoad • Oct 23, 2009 3:55 pm
30 seconds in the microwave
Cicero • Oct 23, 2009 3:55 pm
Speaking of poop molecules- I am feeling particularly discordant today.....

While you are sanitizing Jim, I have a list of some websites you should go to. :)
SteveDallas • Oct 23, 2009 6:41 pm
Well? Where's the list, dammit? Don't keep us in suspense.