Off to Greener Pastures
I'm not quite sure where to put this, but since this used to be 'home' for me, I'm thinking home base pretty much does it.
I've been giving a great deal of thought to the Cellar, what it was, what it has become, and where it's heading, and my place in all of it. I've also examined my frustration level with some of the things going on around here, and have decided that it's time to head off to different places.
Have I enjoyed my time here? Yep. I've met a number of people that I would consider friends. I've learned a lot from those people, and even more from the people whom I've banged heads with. (Some of those I would even consider friends.) That said, the last few months have been tough to watch, much less participate in. I don't know what's going on, but a place that I used to consider home is now hostile. A place that was fun, is now frustrating. Do I blame it on the 'new folks'? Not entirely - I was new here once, getting my feet wet, making mistakes, and having arguments with the then old timers. Do I blame it on the 'old guard'? Not entirely - I know what it's like to feel like you need to fiercely defend a place you know and love. I've found myself doing the same thing over the past few weeks - a lot of times, I delete posts before I even post them, because it's just not worth the emotional energy that it requires. I don't know what's in the air, but whatever it is, is not blowing over.
Will I come back? I don't know. I'm fairly certain that the Cellar is an addiction that there's not a 12 step program for, so I may lurk and read from time to time (Sorry LJ, I know lurkers chap your goat) I'm not burning bridges, because as I stated, this is a place that I consider 'home', but I doubt I'll post again. The Cellar is full of fond memories of times passed, of people that are interesting, and stimulating, some are still here, some are long gone. I'll miss them all. But the bickering, and infighting, insults, and garbage - I won't miss. I won't miss the 'all inclusive' statements, stereotypes of any vein, and bigoted statements that simply aren't necessary, but are accepted or even encouraged by some of the people who now call this place home.
Is this because of the ice cream drama? Nah, although that was the impetus to make a final decision. This is something that's been brewing, and now that the kettle is screaming, it's time to go take care of it.
UT, thanks for creating a great place for people to come together and throw thoughts into the pile, hash things out, and generally have intelligent and insightful discussions. This is most definitely a unique place on the Innernets, and one that I think has contributed positively to a number of folks over the years.
It's been a great few years. I'll send postcards from wherever I land.
Take care of yourselves.
Kellie (kellie@brabec.com)
Dags, I'm sorry you feel that way about the Cellar, and I hope you'll come back eventually. I love ya to death, and actually, I feel kinda bad that we haven't talked much since you headed south. I haven't been around much here lately, but based on some recent remarks I've seen, it's been a bit ugly...it was actually getting a bit ugly before I went on thesis hiatus.
One thing I've learned over the past 6 years on the Cellar is that it's like the weather in St. Louis or Philadelphia: If you don't like it at the moment, stick around for a bit or come back later, because it will make some crazy changes. When I came back full-time a few months ago, I was surprised at how much "turnover" had occurred, yet it wasn't hard to get back into the mix at all.
I've said before that this is just a fucking message board. On the surface, of course, that's true. But it can become really more than that. And if it does become more than that to you (it has to me), people can irritate the shit out of you here just as much as they do IRL.
But given that there is still a fair level of anonymity here, some people tend to mouth off more than they ever would IRL, because there are no real repercussions per se. All you can do is roll with the punches, and try not to let people get you down...just like IRL. And know that the Cellar will be a different place in a short matter of time.
So...don't leave. Or at the very least, just go on a sabbatical and come back. A lot of us will still be here if you do.
My $0.06.
it was the asscheeks joke wasnt it?
Honestly sorry to see you go Dagney.
You're of a different vintage to me, but I always read your posts with interest knowing they will be interesting and I will usually agree with them- where I don't I acknowledge they are balanced and intelligent.
I hope this place levels out - hell, it's had ups and downs before - and we see you back.
:sniff: Well Dag,
I have to say, you were posting when I was still a lurker. Something I did for nearly a year. Mostly I was looking at the Pic of the day. Then about six months in I started reading the comments. Then I started browsing other forums. Your name was one I started to associate quick with good posts.
Once I started posting here I let some of the things I read and peoples additudes get to me too. I spent most of the start of this year just looking at the pic of the day again and only occasionaly skimming the forums. The cellar easliy becomes more than just a jumped up BBS. however much like hanging out too often with friends or even family bullshit can get overtaxing. The choice of course is yours, but you will be missed and looked for to return. I'm sure UT won't mind if I overstep a simple posters place and say you'll always be welcome around here.:sniff: :cry:
My apologies. I feel I am the bullseye.
So again, my apologies.
Dagney, I will miss your posts. You always seem to have a reasonable take on things. But you know what the cellar is like.....you've seen it go through ups and downs before, most of us have. As my mum always says, it will all come out in the wash....things will settle down. Keep your eye on us and I hope one day you'll feel comfortable posting again.
I get what you're saying Dagney. The place really lacks something right now. Syc makes a good point though, pop in later and see if things haven't improved. take care g
Oh, boy. An "I'm leaving" thread.
it's called a suicide note.
No, it's an I'm going on vacation note.
ARE there actually pastures greener than here?
Some people drift off, while other people post an angry "I'm outta here!" message; Dag is thoughtful (as usual) and finds a middle ground.
I say, another middle ground is just stopping in once in a while, or picking one section and sticking to that, or enjoying a few subscribed threads, or even just going to read-only mode once in a while. You don't have to be a serious read-everything sort to be a Dwellar.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Here, I called you a cab:
So long Dagney. I'll miss ya.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
don't be stupid, ya moron. there's no leaving in the cellar!
I always thought that making a public announcement that you are leaving the Cellar is not unlike telling everyone that you are going to stop smoking.
If you want to leave then leave. If you want to stop smoking then stop. If you want to come back you can come back anytime or if you change your mind and decide you want to smoke again then light up. But if you tell a bunch of people that you are going to stop doing something then I always figured that what you were really doing is looking for some support.
The Cellar is full of fond memories of times passed, of people that are interesting, and stimulating, some are still here, some are long gone.
That's pretty much life. Where you gonna go?
Where's she gonna go?
Don't make me burst into song again, Beestie. The first rendition took a lot out of me. :p
don't be stupid, ya moron. there's no leaving in the cellar!
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
That is an Eagles's reference right?
Yep...from "Hotel California."
You don't have to be a serious read-everything sort to be a Dwellar.
:blinks in surprise:
I don't?!
*points and laughs at Big* Ha ha! Time waster!
I always thought that making a public announcement that you are leaving the Cellar is not unlike telling everyone that you are going to stop smoking.
If you want to leave then leave. If you want to stop smoking then stop. If you want to come back you can come back anytime or if you change your mind and decide you want to smoke again then light up. But if you tell a bunch of people that you are going to stop doing something then I always figured that what you were really doing is looking for some support.
Speaking of that, what ever happened to Sheldonrs? He always made me laugh.
He's into some (butt)piracy, I hear. ;)
I've never understood the forum goodbye letter.
It reminds me of the kid slamming the door and yelling "I hate you" and waiting to see if they get a response.
Good luck, dagney. I'll miss you.
I hope she comes back too; if the sane people leave the Cellar, look what's left.
One reason why I for one am not budging.
Conundrum: When people who make the Cellar a good place (i.e., Dagney) leave because they don't like what the Cellar is becoming then by removing themselves from the mix, they are actually making it worse.
Not that anyone has an obligation to stay but, as with any group, membership has certain implicit obligations.
I hope she comes back too; if the sane people leave the Cellar, look what's left...
You.:p
I'm-leaving-threads pretty much say "I'm better than you" ...
The message is intentionally hurtful to the community, it's a parting shot.
Conundrum: When people who make the Cellar a good place (i.e., Dagney) leave because they don't like what the Cellar is becoming then by removing themselves from the mix, they are actually making it worse.
Not that anyone has an obligation to stay but, as with any group, membership has certain implicit obligations.
That reminds me of a joke: When a person emigrates from Scotland to England he raises the IQ of both countries.
I'm-leaving-threads pretty much say "I'm better than you" ...
The message is intentionally hurtful to the community, it's a parting shot.
Better, or just different?
@HLJ, very witty.
I hope she comes back too; if the sane people leave the Cellar, look what's left.
There are sane people on the Cellar? ;)
That reminds me of a joke: When a person emigrates from Scotland to England he raises the IQ of both countries.
very witty.
Bless, you got the countries the wrong way round :)
Bless, you got the countries the wrong way round :)
My grandmother came over from Scotland. She had 14 brothers and sisters and lived to be 97.
Good for her.
Just out of interest - do you describe yourself as Scottish?
SG -- [I'm waiting for someone to tell us to go to gabbly chat.]
I usually say I'm half-Scottish and half-German, though I truthfully don't know my geneology in detail.
How about you?
Better, or just different?
To fully explore that, I'd have to read the "I'm Leaving" post, and I'm not wasting one minute of my time reading that kind of self-indulgent bullshit.
If you're leaving, leave. Bye. Keep your comments to yourself, cram them up your ass, and go away. Just go.
btw: Does "Greener Pastures" not mean "Better" or have I completely misunderstood the meaning of this common expression? No, it means "Better"
That's pretty much life. Where you gonna go?
There are a thousand cellar's out there. Thousands....
btw: Does "Greener Pastures" not mean "Better" or have I completely misunderstood the meaning of this common expression? No, it means "Better"
Nice try, but greener pastures means looking, or heading for a better place, not I'm better than you.
To fully explore that, I'd have to read the "I'm Leaving" post, and I'm not wasting one minute of my time reading that kind of self-indulgent bullshit.
If you're leaving, leave. Bye. Keep your comments to yourself, cram them up your ass, and go away. Just go.
btw: Does "Greener Pastures" not mean "Better" or have I completely misunderstood the meaning of this common expression? No, it means "Better"
I think it's good for people to announce when they're leaving. Otherwise I'll wake up in the middle of the night and think, "Flint's DEAD!"
Nice try, but greener pastures means looking, or heading for a better place, not I'm better than you.
A better place, not filled with you inferior people. You are not good enough, so I'm seeking something better.
I'm better than you.
I think it's good for people to announce when they're leaving. Otherwise I'll wake up in the middle of the night and think, "Flint's DEAD!"
You're a funny fucker. I like you. If I left here, for whatever reason, I wouldn't be a dick or a baby about it. I respect your being here.
well, that's happened to me before. Most of the time, you don't have any other contact with your Netfriends, and if they mysteriously disappear . . . you are left to wonder. Did something happen, or did they just drift away/get fed up and leave.
A better place, not filled with you inferior people. You are not good enough, so I'm seeking something better. I'm better than you.
No, a different venue with a different agenda, nothing about the participants. You're inferiority complex is showing.
Your spelling complex is showing. :)
Psychoanalyze me, baby! I never get tired of your cheap tactics. Now... what was the subject again...? You've confounded me!
Well Flint, if you decide to check out, drop me a PM. Otherwise...
Maybe I'm understanding Dafney because I once wrote my own
obit. (And you didn't even sign my guest book, I just noticed.)
Oh, but you're still here? Why in the world would I mock "I'm Leaving" threads, then? It's not like I've never seen one before.
I have to say, I'm pretty much with Flint on this one. On all counts.
If you're leaving leave. If you're staying stay. The peeps you have any kind of relationship will have your details if they want to keep in touch. The ones that don't, probably wont care if they don't see you again.
I think greener pastures means a better place. To me it says this place is no good anymore.
For me the Cellar support made a difference, and that's why I'm still here.
I guess whatever works, whatever gets you where you are today, you can't argue with. I'm glad you're here.
I'm just sticking around to see if you say something funny.
I have no beef with Dagney whatsoever. I have enjoyed her posts. I just think "goodbye" posts are blatant narcism.
Do any of you honestly believe that she isn't checking back in here to see who replied?
Of course. I'm addressing my posts to the lurking crybaby. Stay gone, crybaby. Or you'll be a hypocrite.
You.:p
I'll see your tongue-zap :p and raise you another. :p
I have no beef with Dagney whatsoever. I have enjoyed her posts. I just think "goodbye" posts are blatant narcism.
Do any of you honestly believe that she isn't checking back in here to see who replied?
I sent her an email to tell her how I feel. No narcicissim in that, really, if what I had to say is heartfelt.
I have no beef with Dagney whatsoever. I have enjoyed her posts. I just think "goodbye" posts are blatant narcism.
Do any of you honestly believe that she isn't checking back in here to see who replied?
It saves questions from being asked / concerns from being raised among others. As a bonus there is feedback as to why somebody didn't stick around a post. I see no narcissism in that.
Of course. I'm addressing my posts to the lurking crybaby. Stay gone, crybaby. Or you'll be a hypocrite.
There is far more to Dagney than you understand.
Behaving like a shit doesn't reflect well on you, sir.
the word 'sir' when used in that way is highly demeaning.
You mean like the other cur?
no. not really....i was just commenting on the way people say "siiiirrrrr" when they really mean 'jerk' sometimes. typically an honorific.....but it's possible to use it as a quasi insult, too. which....i think wolf employed in her post to flint. not to spend a whole lot of time or energy discussing it, but i have seen it done in real life ( usually by a cop or lawyer) and find it interesting. sir. ;)
Okay folks. I know Dagney better than anyone else here.
She is definitely NOT the attention-seeker that posts "I'm out of here!" then comes back to see what people say. She's a mature adult who says goodbye only as a courtesy to everyone here, much as one would say goodbye to a roomful of people when they leave a party.
If you don't care that she's gone (I bet my bottom dollar she won't peek back to read this thread) then by all means don't say goodbye to her or say anything else here.
I have already said my goodbyes to her. And that's enough for the both of us.
Brian
Behaving like a shit doesn't reflect well on you, sir.
the word 'sir' when used in that way is highly demeaning.
....i was just commenting on the way people say "siiiirrrrr" when they really mean 'jerk' sometimes. typically an honorific.....but it's possible to use it as a quasi insult, too. which....i think wolf employed in her post to flint. not to spend a whole lot of time or energy discussing it, but i have seen it done in real life ( usually by a cop or lawyer) and find it interesting. sir.
:::spends a whole lot of time and energy discussing it:::
I think "sir" can also mean "I am respectfully chastising you, for your behavior that I know you know better than to have engaged in, so I leave it for you to beat yourself up over" ...returning the conversation to a respectful tone makes the person being addressed feel guilty for having departed from a respectful tone, I think. That's how I took it, anyway.
when I get pissed off I sometimes get really, really polite and formal with language.
. . . either that or I throw things.