Tidbits

HungLikeJesus • May 26, 2007 11:23 am
This is from last night. I originally stuck this in another thread for temporary storage, then thought I should start a thread for storing tidbits - little ideas that someone might eventually find a use for.

Feel free to use these ideas, or to add your own.

(I'm putting these in the Cellar instead of on my local hard drive because sometimes when I'm travelling I might want access.)

---

Ignore this
I just came back from dinner with my wife and I had two thoughts that I wanted to just stick in here for temporary storage. I hope I'll find a use for them later. This is just for my own reference. Please don't read these.
1) He had hair as white as nuclear winter

2) Darn, I can't remember the second one. Something about... I can picture what I was seeing when I had the thought, but the thought escapes me. There were two guys sitting at the bar, and one of them was putting his arm around himself, from behind. Maybe I'll know in the morning.

Oh yeah, there was a third thing. I was eating peanuts at work and I swear that one of them was, except for it's size, an exact replica of the virgin Mary's left breast. Unfortunately I ate it. But you do believe me, don't you? (meaning me, tomorrow)
xoxoxoBruce • May 26, 2007 9:32 pm
You idiot, that peanut was probably worth $30k, to the Golden Palace, on ebay.
[SIZE="1"]Sigh... [/SIZE]I guess I'll get a crappy birthday gift... again. [SIZE="1"]sigh[/SIZE]
glatt • May 29, 2007 10:50 am
Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great. [speaks into tape recorder]
HungLikeJesus • May 29, 2007 11:35 am
glatt;348059 wrote:
Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great. [speaks into tape recorder]


Night Shift?
Clodfobble • May 29, 2007 10:48 pm
glatt wrote:
Take LIVE tuna fish, and FEED 'em mayonnaise!


I... think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
HungLikeJesus • May 29, 2007 11:06 pm
Clodfobble;348374 wrote:
I... think I just threw up in my mouth a little.


That's funny, because I was just cleaning the kitchen and thinking that mayonnaise looked like something oozing out of a serious burn.
xoxoxoBruce • May 30, 2007 4:51 am
Clodfobble;348374 wrote:
I... think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
So did the fish.
Shawnee123 • May 31, 2007 1:55 pm
Real actual scholarship essay:

Because I get my work done, and I don't leave anything unfinished.

Real class satisfaction survey:

I didn't learn nothing from this class. I found it repetitive and redundant.


Real career aspiration essay:

I would love to get into the medical assassinating field. (Student used this word twice. Student's last name was not Kevorkian.)

Followed by another student who said:

I know it sounds weird, but I'd really love to sit in on an autopsy.

These are just from the past couple days, IRL, here at my job. Now, do you think my book will be hilarious or what?
HungLikeJesus • May 31, 2007 2:12 pm
I'm reviewing 3 grant proposals for Oklahoma State University (e.g. High-Throughput screening and evaluation of filamentous fungi for improved bioconversion enzyme efficiencies).

In the contact information section, I put that I work in the Department of Duplicate Redundancy.
lumberjim • May 31, 2007 2:20 pm
HLJ;349258 wrote:
I'm reviewing 3 grant proposals for Oklahoma State University (e.g. High-Throughput screening and evaluation of filamentous fungi for improved bioconversion enzyme efficiencies).

In the contact information section, I put that I work in the Department of Duplicate Redundancy.


it's the:
Department of Duplicate Redundancy Department
HungLikeJesus • May 31, 2007 2:35 pm
lumberjim;349259 wrote:
it's the:
Department of Duplicate Redundancy Department


Yeah, I ran out of space.

I'm glad to see someone's paying attention.
BigV • May 31, 2007 6:13 pm
Robert Bradley
Robert Cray
Robert Randolph
Robert Ward
BigV • May 31, 2007 6:23 pm
calculating errors.


funny.
HungLikeJesus • May 31, 2007 6:55 pm
BigV - A hungry mind is an angry mind
BigV • May 31, 2007 7:31 pm
by your feet and hands...
HungLikeJesus • Jun 7, 2007 7:37 pm
Krusteaz Instant Spiced Cider tastes like artificial nothing.
BigV • Jun 8, 2007 12:22 pm
Perhaps you failed to mix it with apple juice.
HungLikeJesus • Jun 8, 2007 12:33 pm
BigV -- you're right. I just read the box. It's actually powered water. It says "Just add cider."
Shawnee123 • Jun 8, 2007 12:45 pm
What? It's like buying instant water.
HungLikeJesus • Jun 8, 2007 12:49 pm
Exactly.
HungLikeJesus • Jun 13, 2007 1:04 am
BigV;349308 wrote:
Robert Bradley
Robert Cray
Robert Randolph
Robert Ward


I've given serious consideration to this and still don't agree.
BigV • Jun 13, 2007 3:57 pm
HLJ wrote:
[Quote=BigV]
Robert Bradley
Robert Cray
Robert Randolph
Robert Ward

I've given serious consideration to this and still don't agree.[/quote]

Robert Bradley Train, from the New Ground release.

Robert Cray An embarrassment of riches... you could throw a dart, really. How about "I'd Rather Be A Wino" from Who's Been Talkin'"

Robert Randolph Plenty of choices here too. How about "I Need More Love" from Unclassified. UT, you should check out the bass solo that opens this track. It's like the rumbly explosion that launches the space shuttle, and everything just takes off from there. Sweet.

Robert Ward Rare -- "Potato Soup" from the Black Top Blues Pajama Party. You may be excused for swinging wide on this final turn. It is a rockin git-ar virtuoso performance.

I invite you to reconsider. :cool:

Plus, they just line up this way in the view of my iTunes library.
HungLikeJesus • Jun 13, 2007 4:18 pm
BigV;354615 wrote:
I invite you to reconsider. :cool:


Thanks for the invitation BigV, I think I will.

I have really been disconnected from the music world lately, it's good to have a new introduction.
BigV • Jul 27, 2007 7:18 pm
Travelers Face Greater Use of Personal Data

According to the deal, the information that can be used in such exceptional circumstances includes "racial or ethnic origin, political opinions, religious or philosophical beliefs, trade union membership" and data about an individual's health, traveling partners and sexual orientation.
de-fucking-lightful.
BigV • Jul 27, 2007 7:21 pm
Plame's Suit Against Top Officials Dismissed

Bates stressed in his ruling that the couple's allegations "pose important questions relating to the propriety of actions undertaken by our highest government officials," but that he had to dismiss the claims for jurisdictional reasons and so would not express an opinion on their merits.
"assuming you get your day in court"
BigV • Jul 27, 2007 7:25 pm
DOJ Drops Wiretap Investigation

WASHINGTON -- The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency refused to grant Justice Department lawyers security clearance.

The Justice Department's Office of Professional Responsibility, or OPR, sent a fax Wednesday to Democratic Rep. Maurice Hinchey of New York saying it was closing its inquiry because without clearance it could not examine department lawyers' role in the program.

"We have been unable to make any meaningful progress in our investigation because OPR has been denied security clearances for access to information about the NSA program," OPR counsel H. Marshall Jarrett wrote to Hinchey. Hinchey's office shared the letter with The Associated Press.


"assuming you get your day in court"

yeah, that'll never happen.
BigV • Jul 27, 2007 7:28 pm
Cheney Stonewalls the Senate

Honestly, too many to mention. This administration is all about sunshine and openess. [/sarcasm]

Ya really think you'll get a day in court? If you do, you're deluded.
Happy Monkey • Jul 27, 2007 7:33 pm
Trade union membership? Sexual orientation?
Cicero • Jul 28, 2007 1:02 pm
BigV;368831 wrote:
Travelers Face Greater Use of Personal Data

de-fucking-lightful.


Yeah- this is my knee-jerk reaction:
Don't fly. At all. I don't.
:mad2:
Uisge Beatha • Aug 2, 2007 9:00 am
Note to self:

[indent] Remember to tell Happy Monkey & bigw00dy idea for joint project[/indent]
[color=white].[/color]
[color=white].[/color]
Happy Monkey • Aug 2, 2007 1:46 pm
Heh. My dad and I have actually looked at a similar piece of furniture. I'm not sure when, if ever, we'll get around to it, though...
HungLikeJesus • Aug 31, 2007 2:09 am
Why is midnight midnight, when it's the divide between today and yesterday?

From here.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 9:16 am
Also, why do people say 12 a.m. or 12 pm? If it is exactly at 12 it's either midnight or noon. Someone says 12 a.m. and I have no idea what time they're talking about.
glatt • Aug 31, 2007 9:24 am
Quit yer nitpickin.

You know full well that people mean "Midnight" if they say 12 AM.

Yes, we both know they are wrong, but it's in common use.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 9:39 am
Seriously...I didn't know that! Hopefully it's self-explantory, like "I'll meet you at the library at 12 pm" I know the library isn't open at midnight!

I think it's part of my OCD. I never understood "lefty-loosy, right-tighty" either. It depends on what part of the bolt or whatever you're looking at as to whether it's going right or left.

But, I'm weird.
glatt • Aug 31, 2007 9:49 am
Well, you know that 12:01 a.m. is in the middle of the night. People just make the leap that 12:00 a.m. would also be in the middle of the night. They are technically wrong, because there is no such thing as 12:00 am, but I think it's in pretty common usage.

Shawnee123;380723 wrote:
But, I'm weird.


Maybe, but you are accurate on both the clock thing and the bolts thing.
Shawnee123 • Aug 31, 2007 9:50 am
Ahh yes. I see their "logic." But my brain does not accept it!
xoxoxoBruce • Sep 1, 2007 11:53 pm
Shawnee123;380723 wrote:
I never understood "lefty-loosy, right-tighty" either. It depends on what part of the bolt or whatever you're looking at as to whether it's going right or left.
If you are going to tighten or loosen a bolt or screw, you do that from the head end. Looking from the head end the lefty/righty thing works, unless it's a rare left hand thread.

Of course a nut doesn't have a head end, but looking from the nut end of the assembly still works.
HungLikeJesus • Feb 26, 2008 12:45 am
There's the rub. I usually hold the bolt still and turn the car (or hold the faucet handle and turn the house). That's how we've always done it in my family and I'm not about to change now.
HungLikeJesus • May 31, 2008 1:20 am
Whenever I see Steve Buscemi I think he looks like Steve Buscemi in a Steve Buscemi mask.
TheMercenary • May 31, 2008 9:10 am
glatt;380727 wrote:
Well, you know that 12:01 a.m. is in the middle of the night. People just make the leap that 12:00 a.m. would also be in the middle of the night. They are technically wrong, because there is no such thing as 12:00 am, but I think it's in pretty common usage.

A good reason to stay with military time.
2400 is the final point in the clock. Every second after that is the new day.

Middle of the night would have more to do with light than with time. But of course none of think of that either, middle of the night could be any time where you should be sleeping rather than doing the wild thing, partying, or studying, or whatever.
Sundae • May 31, 2008 9:29 am
Is there really a 24.00? I'd have assumed it went 23.59, 00.00, 01.00.
I would always say noon, midday or midnight anyway.
BigV • Aug 8, 2008 1:27 pm
Here's something you probably didn't know when you woke up this morning.

The rules determining the order in which the Olympic teams from each of the participating countries are not based on they alphabetic order. They are instead based on the number of strokes required to represent first word of the name of the country name in Chinese. Additionally, Greece will enter first and the host country, China, will enter last.

From here.
Ibby • Aug 8, 2008 5:52 pm
'cause thats how they do alphabetizing in chinese-speaking countries. Obviously without an alphabet, you gotta find... other means of organization.
HungLikeJesus • Apr 12, 2010 4:05 pm
If there were no laws, there would be no crime.
- HLJ
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 13, 2010 2:37 am
HungLikeJesus;648120 wrote:
If there were no laws, there would be no crime.
- HLJ
There would be crimes against humanity and probably more of them.
UncaDollas • May 10, 2010 1:44 am
A spilled beer would always be a crime.
monster • May 12, 2010 8:57 am
Why can't cholesterol evaporate out of food when you cook it like alcohol does?
HungLikeJesus • May 18, 2010 1:35 pm
I lovingly caressed her head
with the soft rounded corner
of a cast iron frying pan.
kerosene • May 18, 2010 6:19 pm
monster;655666 wrote:
Why can't cholesterol evaporate out of food when you cook it like alcohol does?


Because then all food would taste like celery...icky.
monster • May 18, 2010 11:28 pm
When you cook with alcohol it leaves the flavor behind.....
lumberjim • May 19, 2010 12:25 am
the skiff floated gently along,
exactly like a bowling ball wouldn't
Trilby • May 19, 2010 9:38 am
I saw a bit of black under the couch.

What is it? A sock? A shoe?

Then the black moved.

Ah.

A cat.
Trilby • May 19, 2010 10:11 am
Stupid is the new smart.
HungLikeJesus • May 19, 2010 6:40 pm
I'm at a tribal energy meeting and I heard a few phrases that I like, one being "green is the new red."
Trilby • May 20, 2010 9:47 am
"Tribal energy meeting," - that's a good one right there.
jinx • May 21, 2010 8:41 pm
I officially enrolled the kids in a cyber charter school for next year. Had orientation today.
I'm sad and happy and anxious and feel like a weight has been lifted.
monster • May 21, 2010 8:43 pm
cyber charter school?
jinx • May 21, 2010 8:46 pm
Yes. This one.
monster • May 21, 2010 9:31 pm
Interesting, thanks.

but... and forgive me if I'm being rude/stupid.... what benefit does this have over regular schooling?
jinx • May 21, 2010 9:37 pm
This is homeschooling with more resources and opportunities.
monster • May 21, 2010 9:43 pm
So you can still intervene and opt for real-life classes etc? They just do the grading and you don't have to go through all the "certification" at the end of the year?
skysidhe • May 23, 2010 12:56 am
jinx;657806 wrote:
This is homeschooling with more resources and opportunities.


I was impressed with the curriculum and the field trips and other arts opportunities look great! I'm happy for you and your kids jinx.
squirell nutkin • May 23, 2010 10:13 am
Shawnee123;349252 wrote:

Real career aspiration essay:

I would love to get into the medical assassinating field. (Student used this word twice. Student's last name was not Kevorkian.)



Was his name Scott Roeder?
Clodfobble • May 23, 2010 11:06 pm
Jinx, that charter school program looks amazing! I wish we had one here.
squirell nutkin • May 23, 2010 11:14 pm
I think those mortarboards in the air were photoshopped. I doubt those students can throw any higher than public school kids.
HungLikeJesus • Jan 21, 2011 7:34 pm
In Colorado, it's a felony to try to change the weather without a permit.
HungLikeJesus • Apr 14, 2011 4:23 pm
Somebody should develop a chicken that doesn't taste like chicken.
jimhelm • Apr 14, 2011 4:38 pm
make it Tofu flavored?
infinite monkey • Apr 14, 2011 4:45 pm
Fish of the Barnyard™

?
monster • Apr 14, 2011 5:07 pm
KFC
footfootfoot • Apr 15, 2011 7:56 pm
HungLikeJesus;707191 wrote:
In Colorado, it's a felony to try to change the weather without a permit.


[YOUTUBE]IRHA9W-zExQ[/YOUTUBE]
HungLikeJesus • Aug 7, 2012 9:22 pm
I can't drink like I used to.

But, then again, I never could.
Pico and ME • Aug 7, 2012 10:04 pm
Yay, HLJ is back!
BigV • Aug 8, 2012 11:23 am
HungLikeJesus;823625 wrote:
I can't drink like I used to.

But, then again, I never could.


they say you can't step in the same river twice. I suppose that is true for rivers of bourbon too.