Raccoon Troubles

[COLOR=black]Okay, we have the South's largest raccoon creating havoc in my backyard. He’s tearing up the bird feeder my father-in-law built for us, plus other landscaping areas. I called animal control…no help…I called vector control…no help…called largest veterinarian office we have…no help…called residential animal control…$200 smackeroos. Hmmm, what would you do?[/COLOR]

Do you own a gun?

LOL...yznhymr and thenewguy are starting another gun thread!:shock:

You can buy traps for them, basically big cages with doors that will automatically close when something goes inside to get the bait. If you don't want to kill it, drive 10-15 miles away and release it. Be careful though, those bastards are vicious.

thenewguy;346928 wrote:

Do you own a gun?

Sorry, a little slow with poll, your answer may be there. It's my first poll!

PS. Sounds like you are from Memphis, so am I...maybe you can come shoot him for me??? LOL

PSS. I loved your 'slept with a Democrat and am ashamed' post! :thumb2:

That would be a longer drive. I moved to Nash-vegas about 10 years ago. I know in Memphis you can find someone to shoot just about anything!

Thanks.

If you're a pussy, use a gun. If you're a real man, take the varmint on mano-a-mano, naked, like it is.

naked raccoon wrestling. I think I once saw a Japanese porn with that title.

thenewguy;346940 wrote:

naked raccoon wrestling. I think I once saw a Japanese porn with that title.

Wasn't that naked raccoon bukakke?

Why in the world would you want to take mercy back home when you've got a perfectly good destructive fat-assed raccoon already? Does the raccoon seem... lonely? wtf?

Yznhymr;346926 wrote:

[COLOR=black]He’s tearing up the bird feeder my father-in-law built for us, plus other landscaping areas.

Cayenne pepper. Lots of it. Birds can't taste it so they could care less, but raccoons will stay well clear of it.

Are you in the city limits?

thenewguy;346949 wrote:

Are you in the city limits?

Nope, in the county. I live trap cotton rats all of the time and then relocate them to the yards of people that piss me off...uhhh...I mean relocate them deep into the country. I've only had to kill 2 for mercy's sake. I can catch ~4 cotton rats a week. We have plenty of snakes, but they don't keep the population down.

Personally, I would just tell the neighbors, "You will probably hear shots tonight. Don't call the cops." Then, take him out.

Sounds like a good excuse to get that .17 you've been eyeing up. perfect for the varmints.

I suggest you sit down with it, share a calming smoke and talk reasonably about how it's destructive behaviour is having a negative effect on your psyche.


[COLOR="White"]Then when it's all mellowed out, shoot the fucker.[/COLOR]

Don't cut the feet off and you can sell them for around 10 bucks. In the right places.

Yznhymr;346953 wrote:

. I live trap cotton rats all of the time and then relocate them to the yards of people that piss me off...uhhh...I mean relocate them deep into the country.

:D

I have no clue. Not too many racoons around here.

If 'twere me, I'd probably call the pest service, but there's no guarantee racoons wouldn't come back. Sounds like a $50 trap would be a good solution if you're not too squeamish about catching things. Then you could re-use it if you had another visitation.

Spexxvet;346938 wrote:

If you're a pussy, use a gun. If you're a real man, take the varmint on mano-a-mano, naked, like it is.

Actually, this may be a violation of the Man Laws, law #13:

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

Can you put up an ad in your local paper/ supermarket?
You'd have to word it vaguely in order to avoid problems from PETA-alikes of course.

How about:

Homeowner seeks help with boundary dispute/ unwelcome visitors. If you have a gun and could help please respond to 555-1XX3, rates negotiable, references not required.

I don't think I'd want a stranger, with unknown skills, shooting up my yard.

Eat the sob and be done.

I have a sling shot and several yappy dogs. No to mention a cat the hunts 'coons for the fun of it.

Nightsong;347099 wrote:

I have a sling shot and several yappy dogs. No to mention a cat the hunts 'coons for the fun of it.

Okay Nightsong...the job is yours! :D

BTW - there's two of the son of a guns, now. For the last 4-5 nights, I have stayed up late and shot them with a BB gun. They both would set of metal detectors now...no problem, but their hunger wins out over getting lead in their butts. Oh, and this is after dousing the back yard with red fox urine (don't even think about asking how I got that...them suckers are fast and put up quite a fight...seems they are not only pee-pee shy, but get mad if you watch!)