Bad-Ass Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-ass" someone or something is.

Toward that end - here is Suncrafter's BAQ (Bad Ass Quotient) System:

Fire Ant -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
Sewer Rat ----------------------------------------- BAQ = 10
Chiwawa ------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------- BAQ = 1,000
Green Beret armed with a machete -------------- BAQ = 10,000
Silverback Gorilla ----------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
Black Rhino ------------------------------------------ BAQ = 1,000,000
Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
ETC...

So, for example, lets say that 250 Green Berets armed with machetes got into a fight with 2 Black Rhinos... who would win? The 250 Green Berets would have a combined BAQ of 2,500,000 while the 2 Black Rhinos would have a combined BAQ of only 2,000,000 - so the Green Berets would win.


Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-a**ness" of almost anyone or anything!

Here are just a few examples:

Butterfly ================================================= 0 BAQ
Honey Bee =============================================== 1 BAQ
Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
Wasp =================================================== 3 BAQ
Hermit Crab =============================================== 4 BAQ
Smurf =================================================== 5 BAQ
Gerbil =================================================== 5 BAQ
Tarantula ================================================= 7 BAQ
Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
Rabbit ================================================== 35 BAQ
Vampire Bat ============================================== 49 BAQ
Rooster (unarmed) ========================================== 79 BAQ
Squirrel ================================================== 81 BAQ
House Cat ================================================ 88 BAQ
Lobster ================================================== 90 BAQ
Chiwawa ---------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
Three Year Old Girl ========================================= 115 BAQ
Kermit the Frog ============================================ 167 BAQ
Barny the Dinosaur ========================================== 202 BAQ
Possum ================================================== 287 BAQ
Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ================================= 289 BAQ
Gilligan =================================================== 306 BAQ
Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
Badger =================================================== 331 BAQ
Cookie Monster ============================================= 410 BAQ
Barn Owl ================================================== 421 BAQ
Peewee Herman ============================================= 422 BAQ
3PCO - from "Star Wars" ======================================= 449 BAQ
Crack Whore ================================================ 550 BAQ
Zombie ==================================================== 749 BAQ
Average Human ============================================== 755 BAQ
Dr. Evil - from Austen Powers movies (unarmed) ======================= 804 BAQ
Booger - from "Revenge of the Nerds" =============================== 817 BAQ
Woopi Goldburge ============================================= 831 BAQ
Howard Stern ================================================ 852 BAQ
Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
Rush Limbaugh =============================================== 998 BAQ
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
George W. Bush ============================================= 1,105 BAQ
Willy Wonka (armed with cane) =================================== 1,117 BAQ
Conan O'Brien =============================================== 1,145 BAQ
Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
Jeffrey Dahmer =============================================== 1,301 BAQ
Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ================================= 1,439 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ================================ 1,696 BAQ
Stalin ====================================================== 1,985 BAQ
Pimp ====================================================== 1,990 BAQ
Wolf ======================================================= 2,144 BAQ
Boa Constrictor =============================================== 2,312 BAQ
Chimp ====================================================== 2,499 BAQ
Eskimo Fisherman (armed with spear) =============================== 2,590 BAQ
Adolf Hitler =================================================== 2,665 BAQ
Abraham Lincoln =============================================== 2,810 BAQ
King Cobra =================================================== 2,964BAQ
OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) =================================== 3,100 BAQ
Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
Wolverine - the animal ============================================ 3,345 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ========================================== 3,965 BAQ
Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
Green Beret (unarmed) =========================================== 4,380 BAQ
Lara Croft (unarmed) ============================================= 4,385 BAQ
Indiana Jones (unarmed) ========================================== 4,503 BAQ
Mad Max - from "Road Warrior" (unarmed) ============================= 5,082 BAQ
Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
Hannibal Lector ================================================ 6,047 BAQ
Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
Sumo Wrestler ================================================= 7,810 BAQ
New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
Mike Tyson =================================================== 7,961 BAQ
Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" =============================== 8,501 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
Chuck Norris ================================================== 8,812 BAQ

The rest of the list can be found here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html


Questions for all of you...

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

Wolf ======================================================= 2,144 BAQ

Wolf is WAAAAAAY Bad Arser than that!!!

suncrafter;341864 wrote:

3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

oh, you betcha!

10 sewer rats against 1 chihuahua? Are you crazy? They'd have that thing stripped to the bone in under 20 seconds.

Not sure where these would fit in but how about -

Neo - Matrix or even the bad guy

V - Vendetta (same guy)

Wyatt Earp - Tombstone

Doc Holiday - Tombstone

(yes you do seem to have some considerable time on your hands):rolleyes:

DucksNuts;341872 wrote:

Wolf is WAAAAAAY Bad Arser than that!!!

Armed, or unarmed?

on Mike Tyson is it with or without his teeth?

yea the sewer rat chiwawa thing is way off if you ask me, i honestly think, depending on the type of sewer rat, it would be a good one on one fight. also you should replace T-Rex with Johnny Cash.

my cock should be there just below Lara Croft.

oh, you wish!

You've omitted things such as volcanoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, asteroids and Divine Retribution.

Originally Posted by DucksNuts View Post
Wolf is WAAAAAAY Bad Arser than that!!!
Armed, or unarmed?

I don't think it would matter , well unless you ripped her arms off Black Knight style , but THAT would just PISS her OFF BAD !!!!!!!

My cats have a higher BAQ than 88.

But maybe I'm saying that because I have two holes in my finger right now since my hand got in the way of my cat's teeth last night.

Cloud;342001 wrote:

oh, you wish!

AND HOW.

My Badass Quotient?

I could totally beat Chuck Norris.

It would be a long, bloody, drawn out battle, but I would not die or give up. As bruised and battereda s my spirit is, it REFUSES TO DIE.

jester;341923 wrote:

Not sure where these would fit in but how about -

Neo - Matrix or even the bad guy

V - Vendetta (same guy)

Wyatt Earp - Tombstone

Doc Holiday - Tombstone

(yes you do seem to have some considerable time on your hands):rolleyes:

I'd like to add Neo, but it would be hard to specify. Neo inside the matrix or outside? Neo before he was trained, after he was trained or after he became a demi-god?

I have never seen Vendetta nor Tombstone. Still Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday might be good to add. What should I make their BAQ number?

hmmm

neo before training & outside the matrix - is a wuss

after not so bad

V - Vendetta - kicks a--

Doc Holiday - is awesome - at least between Indiana & Mad Max

Wyatt Earp - is as clever - maybe after "Snake" same guy
(you should watch Tombstone)

are you thinking about my cock?

Spexxvet;341925 wrote:

Armed, or unarmed?

Unarmed. My armed badass quotient is actually lower, because then you die more quickly. Usually. I might make an exception for special cases.

lumberjim;355246 wrote:

are you thinking about my cock?

are you talkin to me?([COLOR="White"]tony montana voice[/COLOR])

i believe i stated between indiana and mad max - not before indiana as in after lara croft

So -- under the heading of "Fighting In One's Own Weight Class" -- can Prince beat up Michael Jackson, or does the decision go the other way?

I say decision because I can't imagine either delivering an actual KO.

Urbane Guerrilla;356278 wrote:

So -- under the heading of "Fighting In One's Own Weight Class" -- can Prince beat up Michael Jackson, or does the decision go the other way?

I say decision because I can't imagine either delivering an actual KO.

My money would be on Prince.

Just remember though, the true badasses never brag about what badasses they are.

That's true. They have people to do that on their behalf.

sycamore;361214 wrote:

Just remember though, the true badasses never brag about what badasses they are.

Too true!

'cause that wasn't a ridiculously unnecessary bump.

to a ridiculously unnecessary thread, may I add.

Siouxsie from Siouxsie and the Banshees better be on that list.
If she's not there the whole thing is completely invalid.

You also need Marty McFly. Perhaps somewhere after "Gremlins."

case;383974 wrote:

You also need Marty McFly. Perhaps somewhere after "Gremlins."

I'll add him to the list.

TMTOMHQ (Too Much Time On My Hands Quotient)

suncrafter TMTOMHQ = 10 to the 81 power

(won't keep my text formatting)

There is some way wrong badassedness quotients on that list, and it is 2 years old.

TheMercenary;527163 wrote:

There is some way wrong badassedness quotients on that list, and it is 2 years old.

I'll update eventually - I promise.