I lied to a cop today

Clodfobble • Apr 19, 2007 8:26 pm
And I almost got caught. :thepain:


I got pulled over doing 76 in a 65. First off, apparently APD has updated their fleet recently, because it was a completely unmarked cop car that looked like an extra-beefy silver sports car. Normally I'm really good at spotting speed traps. Also, not only was I speeding, but apparently I have a broken taillight. And meanwhile the baby's screaming in the back of the car because we've stopped driving but I haven't come to take him out. So the cop starts taking my license and registration, looks it over, and suddenly asks, "What kind of corrective lenses do you wear?"

Now, I had LASIK surgery in 1999, and every single time I've renewed my license since then I have tried to get that restriction taken off. I tell them I had the surgery, I take the eye test, they say great, I passed--and then when my license comes in the mail it still says I need corrective lenses. But I figured it doesn't really matter since no one cares about that anyway, right?

Except apparently this douchebag.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but for some reason instead of explaining that I just smoothly replied, "Oh, I'm wearing contacts."

"Take off your sunglasses, let me see them."

:yelsick:

So I did.

"Huh. I don't see them."

"They're in there," I insisted, managing to smile, and even turning my head a bit to help him. He stared and stared, asking me whether they were hard or soft, disposable or not, until finally he said, "Okay, I think I saw it just then."

I was so terrified he was going to ask me to take one out. If I'd gotten caught lying I think I probably would have just started bawling right there.
TheMercenary • Apr 19, 2007 8:31 pm
:D I guess the worst he could have done is given you a ticket and made you get a ride. Maybe you should carry a pair of glasses in your car.
footfootfoot • Apr 19, 2007 9:00 pm
"I don't have them in! Fuck no wonder everything was all fuzzy and shit. Thank you officer, I thought I was going blind."
duck_duck • Apr 19, 2007 9:06 pm
I sometimes wear contacts and can't see them when I look in the mirror. That's funny the police thought he could see them just by looking at you.
monster • Apr 19, 2007 9:35 pm
Sounds like a dodgy pick-up line to me. "Oh, you have something on your eyelash..."

Did you get a ticket?
BrianR • Apr 19, 2007 10:38 pm
If you look at an eye with a contact lens in from the side, the lens is visible. Also, if the lens has the handling tint, that will also show if you look close.
monster • Apr 19, 2007 10:49 pm
BrianR;335485 wrote:
If you look at an eye with a contact lens in from the side, the lens is visible. Also, if the lens has the handling tint, that will also show if you look close.


Depends on the type of lens, the lighting, the state of the eye and a zillionn other things. Beest and I both wear contacts and have done for years, yet when one seems lost, we can't always tell whether it's there or not, even through we know each other's eyes pretty intimately.
Undertoad • Apr 19, 2007 10:56 pm
So... the cop lied
Beestie • Apr 19, 2007 10:58 pm
Good for you, CF. The cop sounds like a real prick to me asking to see your contacts. It would have been funny if you took your sunglasses off then pretended to take out a contact and acted like you dropped it and lost it.

Then you could have cussed him out.
SadistSecret • Apr 19, 2007 11:04 pm
Or you could have driven away really fast while he was looking for your "contact".
seakdivers • Apr 19, 2007 11:09 pm
That sounds weird. Why would he need to see if you had contacts in or not if the issue was speeding? I have been pulled over for a variety of reasons in the past and my license says that I wear contacts as well and I've never been asked to prove that I have them on.
Hmm....
wolf • Apr 20, 2007 2:44 am
What's wrong with saying, "I had Lasik?"

(up until that point I thought that you were going to say you got out of a speeding ticket either by using the popular "I really need to pee, Officer" Dodge, or perhaps, "Minifob is hungry and I need to breastfeed, but I'd prefer not to whip the boys out right here on the shoulder of I-95.")
wolf • Apr 20, 2007 2:46 am
duck_duck;335455 wrote:
I sometimes wear contacts and can't see them when I look in the mirror. That's funny the police thought he could see them just by looking at you.


Actually, you can, because they extend beyond the edge of the iris (my contacts have no handling tint, but I can still see the line if I look closely enough).
Clodfobble • Apr 20, 2007 9:47 am
wolf wrote:
What's wrong with saying, "I had Lasik?"


I figured then I would also get a ticket for having an incorrect license, in addition to the speeding ticket and brake light issue (though in the end I only got a warning for the brake light, fortunately.)


wolf wrote:
(up until that point I thought that you were going to say you got out of a speeding ticket either by using the popular "I really need to pee, Officer" Dodge, or perhaps, "Minifob is hungry and I need to breastfeed, but I'd prefer not to whip the boys out right here on the shoulder of I-95.")


I might have used the latter, since he was screaming his head off by the time the cop got to my window, but he never even asked me why I was speeding. He just launched right in with "You were clocked going 76 in a 65 mile-per-hour speed zone, so you'll be receiving a citation today for that."

My husband pointed out when I got home that he actually wrote 75 in one spot and 76 in another, which affects the level of the fine. It doesn't matter since I'm going to take defensive driving, but I wonder if that's grounds for the ticket being completely invalid?
LabRat • Apr 20, 2007 9:54 am
OOOoooooh. Check with your insurance agent. He'll probably know.
Bastard cop.
Spexxvet • Apr 20, 2007 10:12 am
wolf;335552 wrote:
Actually, you can, because they extend beyond the edge of the iris (my contacts have no handling tint, but I can still see the line if I look closely enough).


Typically, a soft lens is a larger diameter than your cornea (covering your iris), but a rigid lens is smaller, and therefore difficult to see.

Could you have told him that your sunglasses were prescription, or are they the type that can't be made in prescription?
Shawnee123 • Apr 20, 2007 10:15 am
You should have said "bite me cop, what business is it of yours?"

Or cry, that always works. :)
Spexxvet • Apr 20, 2007 10:18 am
Shawnee123;335635 wrote:
You should have said "bite me cop, what business is it of yours?"
...


Then this thread title would be: I smart-assed a cop today, please donate teeth.
Beestie • Apr 20, 2007 10:23 am
Shawnee123 wrote:
You should have said "bite me cop, what business is it of yours?"


Jeff Foxworthy wrote:
If yo mamma doesn't take the cigarette out of her mouth when she tells the state trooper to: Kiss! Her! Ass! ... then you *might* be a redneck.

:biglaugha
rkzenrage • Apr 20, 2007 11:12 am
I don't pull over for unmarked cars.
Beestie • Apr 20, 2007 11:30 am
rkzenrage;335665 wrote:
I don't pull over for unmarked cars.
An unmarked car flashing blue lights and siren blaring is 3 inches off your bumper and you aren't pulling over? I can see I'm gonna have to whip out my *Florida* tag again.
rkzenrage • Apr 20, 2007 12:07 pm
I call 911 and tell them, I don't pull over for unmarked cars and they always say, "OK".
If they get that close to my bumper, I tap my brakes.
People posing as unmarked mug and rape people all over the US.
You want to say ignorant, fine, you are the one who does not know that.
Legally, one does not have to pull-over for an unmarked car.
I will not do it and have not done so and have never had a cop say shit to me for it.
Then again, it has only happened to me once and did not get a ticket. They thought I was someone else.
When I drove I did not get tickets, except for a tag-light out, once.

An unmarked car put my cousin in the hospital and killed his passenger from doing exactly what you are talking about. The pig (an actual cop, off duty) is in jail now where he belongs. IMO they should be illegal.
Clodfobble • Apr 20, 2007 12:21 pm
I call 911 and tell them, I don't pull over for unmarked cars and they always say, "OK".
If they get that close to my bumper, I tap my brakes.
...
Then again, it has only happened to me once...


I'm confused. Do you "always" call 911 and make it a habit to tap your brakes if an unmarked car is getting too close while trying to pull you over--or has it only happened to you once?
rkzenrage • Apr 20, 2007 12:24 pm
If it happens, I will do it. Unmarked cars are not cops. A cop is not a cop until they SHOW they are a cop.
If you get too close to me, I'll tap my breaks.
Go to radio shack, spend a hundred bucks, wheeeee, you are an unmarked car!
Perry Winkle • Apr 20, 2007 12:39 pm
I'd never thought about the unmarked cop car thing. Scary, the things some take for granted.