How does a parent cope with this?

A couple of nights ago in the ward I represent, a fourteen year old girl stabbed and killed her sixteen year old sister. The two girls lived with their mother and neighbours have all said that they were a really nice family and had always seemed close and happy.

The mother is now grieving for the loss of her sixteen year old daughter and her fourteen year old daughter is facing a murder charge. I'm not a parent, I can only imagine the bond between parent and child. I just wondered, how does any parent cope with this? What conflicting emotions must this woman feel now?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6504549.stm

Well as a parent I would say that something is not quite right about the story. Outward observations by "neighbors" is rarely an acurate account of what is going on in the home. Given that normal siblings generally do not kill each other and stab each other to death indicates that the 14 year old had "issues". I would hate to be in that mothers shoes. Where was the father?

Oh I realise that the neighbours are not exactly a 'reliable source', but it isn't like this was one of those families that are always screaming at each other and storming out after rows etc. Don't know about the father. I wonder whether it was 'issues' or teenage hormones that unfortunately coincided with possession of a knife. Could be anything, we are getting very few details at this stage. What i can tell you is that the road they live on is in a very troubled area. Knives are a real problem with kids around there. I think it was only about 6 months ago two teenage boys ( close friends)had a fight whilst babysitting and one of them pulled a knife and stabbed the other to death.

As a parent, you don't cope. Something is broken, forever. There is no answer to this question. The questions will persist forever.

Yesterday morning I found a message on my answerphone from the local radio station, asking me to call back and give a comment. I didn't. What the hell could I possibly say?

DanaC;327525 wrote:

Yesterday morning I found a message on my answerphone from the local radio station, asking me to call back and give a comment. I didn't. What the hell could I possibly say?

You're clearly not a politician. :p You are supposed to blame this incident on the opposing party.

Rap music did it? Ozzy? Marilyn Manson? Comic books!

That is all they would really hear.

As for the mother, she will focus on what she can do, try to take care of her child as best she can. I would.
I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
No matter what I would blame myself, just what I would do.

glatt;327533 wrote:

You're clearly not a politician. :p You are supposed to blame this incident on the opposing party.

:lol2:

uh....shit yeah sorry. *clears throat*....."Obviously this is in direct response to the latest budget cuts which the ruling conservative party ushered in at the last Council meeting."

Better?

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

"As far as I can see, there's nothing specific and terrible about our ward that has brought this about. The problem of stabbings and youth seems to be society-wide. I can only hope that we can find our way to more peaceful, less violent childhoods across Britain. And I personally promise that I will never lose my personal resolve to look for and implement solutions. Meanwhile I have tremendous sympathy for the mother, who faces a terrible loss. My heart goes out to her."

[SIZE=1]i advised candidates in a previous life
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Toad you smoth tounged devil !!!! that was GOOD !!!!

As for me Dana , well I don't know just what to tell you ,

As for me well with my weird ass family , I keep expecting Jerry Springer to call one day , or Dr. Phill to ambush me or some such !!!

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

I have real difficulty with the whole media thing. I know I need to use it more.....I just don't like doing it. Even during my campaign other people used the media for me, I was complete pants at it. I am fine using the media for other people....just not for myself. Quick example: I spent some time over at one of the community centres, with some of the local youth workers and a project they've been working on. The kids had done this awesome piece of artwork, showing what they thought of the areas they lived in. Had a really good time, talked to lots of them blah blah. One of my colleagues aske dme if I'd got the local rag to cover it....I hadn't....i didn't like the idea that the youth workers and kids would think i only went to see them in order to get publicity. I went because I was genuinely interested in what they were up to.

Cope? with something like this? you can't. You just go on.

This may sound nuts to some, but I wish I could give this kid and her mom a huge hug.

DanaC;327469 wrote:

A couple of nights ago in the ward I represent, a fourteen year old girl stabbed and killed her sixteen year old sister. The two girls lived with their mother and neighbours have all said that they were a really nice family and had always seemed close and happy.

The mother is now grieving for the loss of her sixteen year old daughter and her fourteen year old daughter is facing a murder charge. I'm not a parent, I can only imagine the bond between parent and child. I just wondered, how does any parent cope with this? What conflicting emotions must this woman feel now?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6504549.stm

Undertoad;327575 wrote:

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

"As far as I can see, there's nothing specific and terrible about our ward that has brought this about. The problem of stabbings and youth seems to be society-wide. I can only hope that we can find our way to more peaceful, less violent childhoods across Britain. And I personally promise that I will never lose my personal resolve to look for and implement solutions. Meanwhile I have tremendous sympathy for the mother, who faces a terrible loss. My heart goes out to her."

[SIZE=1]i advised candidates in a previous life
[/SIZE]

The BBC report says the younger one had knife wounds too.

How the mother feels is going to depend entirely on the sort of mother she is. "Shit" would probably describe it regardless. I'm more concerned about how the 14yo feels. Especially if she doesn't like the skirt I'm wearing.

Here's my "brit" edit to/rewrite of UT's "press statement":

My heart goes out to this family. The knife culture -which seems to have become become endemic in our teen society- has now penetrated our family culture. It needs to be stopped. This is not a local issue, it's a national issue. I have personally contacted Mr. Blair about he need for a family crisis resolution policy. I will do everything in my power to help this family get through the ordeal that lies ahead.

"Penetrated"?! Was that intentional? It seems cheap and callous in this context. Might you consider "permeated" instead?

Here's an example of a politician using free press in the wake of a tragedy. From the IotD on the raw sewage flood in Gaza:

The Hamas movement, the leading partner in a newly formed Palestinian unity government, blamed the disaster on a foreign aid boycott slapped on the Palestinian Authority a year ago when the Islamist hardliners first came to power.

Mom will cope like Mom's have always coped....sometimes well, too often not.
This is nothing new, remember Cain and Abel?

Once the knife registration gets underway, and then becomes a ban and confiscation, all you'll be able to eat is porridge ... and cold porridge at that, since you can get a nasty burn on the roof of your mouth if you heat it too much.

knives don't kill people, lack of oxygen to the brain caused by massive blood loss kills people

Once the knife registration gets underway

What knife registration?

DanaC;328786 wrote:

What knife registration?

The one discussed here.

I was only being mildly facetious.

That is insane!

Next thing you know the Brits will be walking to work and school because they can't be trusted with a car.

Brits? If we are going by stereotypes then Asians and women should be up there.

*runs away*

That is insane!

We've had restrictions on possessing blades in a public place for a long time. I seriously doubt any further tightening of the law is likely. Knives are too important/useful as tools for stuff other than slashing/stabbing people or animals. The legislation was originally tightened up to deal with the 'switchblade' culture amongst gangs (especially in the East End of London and Manchester's Hulme and Moss Side) and for a long time knife crime stopped being so much of a problem. It's kind of creeping back into the culture again now. Guns are also getting more common, amongst teens and gangs, but knives tend to be the weapon of choice. We do get the occassional nutter with a samurai of course.

piercehawkeye45;329237 wrote:

Brits? If we are going by stereotypes then Asians and women should be up there.

Not when the link is to a BBC article abouts Brit Doctors, proposing Brit lawmakers pass Brit laws to control Brit knives owned by Brits which the Brit doctors did almost 2 years ago.

Yes, and I believe I started that thread.
UT, we need a "busting with pride" emoticon. ;)

BigV;327982 wrote:

"Penetrated"?! Was that intentional? It seems cheap and callous in this context. Might you consider "permeated" instead?

No, and I think you're right. :)

TheMercenary;329110 wrote:

Next thing you know the Brits will be walking to work and school because they can't be trusted with a car.

Am I wrong to assume this was facetious? You do know that many Brits already walk to school and work?

There is already strict legislation about who can drive a car -it's the driving test- which is much harder that the ones over here, by all accounts. I've only taken the Michigan one, but I can tell you it's definitely harder than that, and Brits I communicate with in other states say the same. Furthermore, the toughness of the British driving test is a common gripe for American expats in the UK.

They really should be reversed -the British roads are so crowded, you will never need to know how to rejoin a freeway from the hard shoulder -it's no different from pulling out of a space in a parking lot! Whereas here, it appears that indicate then pull out from stationary is the custom. only time I ever see turn signals used! ;)

/how's that for topic drift? -we now return to your original programming, nothing to see here, move along.....

monster;329404 wrote:

Am I wrong to assume this was facetious?

Quite. Quite so...:)

monster;329404 wrote:

There is already strict legislation about who can drive a car -it's the driving test- which is much harder that the ones over here, by all accounts. I've only taken the Michigan one, but I can tell you it's definitely harder than that, and Brits I communicate with in other states say the same. Furthermore, the toughness of the British driving test is a common gripe for American expats in the UK.

Damn I hope it's harder than here, ours are a joke.

When I moved form MA to PA, they asked three questions, I got two wrong, they gave me a license.
In fairness to the examiner, all three were how close can you park to something, and the two I got wrong I gave distances greater then the law allows, but still three questions and an eye test ain't much.

The motorcycle test was a little tougher.

Pie;329383 wrote:

Yes, and I believe I started that thread.
UT, we need a "busting with pride" emoticon. ;)

Are you sure it isn't, Yes I started it, but I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

I really wish the US would go to a test like the UK has, esp for motorcycles. If not than we need to insist that all licenses are issued only after a Motorcycle safety course.