Questions that could ruin your day
How am I going to pay for my 3 kids' college educations?
And 2 or 3 weddings? (hopefully)
Will LASIK destroy my profession?
Will the doctor retire when I'm 52, leaving me unemployed?
Will my kids fight in the global war on terror?
Will global warming, a terrorist attack, a celestial body hitting the earth, nuclear war, or any other catastrophe radically change civilization as we know it - during my lifetime?
Why is this mark on my face asymmetrical?
Will people not hire me because I'm fat?
Will LASIK destroy my profession?
Is this just a "keep you up awake at night thought"? Or are opticians seeing a decrease in business that's directly attributable to LASIK?
And what about online glasses places that will sell you your prescription glasses for $20 instead of $200? I just got $17 glasses from
eyebuydirect.com. Not trying to ruin your day more, but how can a local optician compete with that?
Are they coming to take me away (ho ho hee hee ha ha)?
"Hey Shawnee, did you see your name in the paper?"
Is this just a "keep you up awake at night thought"? Or are opticians seeing a decrease in business that's directly attributable to LASIK?
I don't think it has, yet. In fact some of the people who havehad LASIK still need glasses. As the affordability of LASIK increases, it may effect eyeglass sales. So it's not an immediate threat, but...
And what about online glasses places that will sell you your prescription glasses for $20 instead of $200? I just got $17 glasses from eyebuydirect.com. Not trying to ruin your day more, but how can a local optician compete with that?
You can get a business suit for a lot less on-line, too. But who will take the measurements accurately to ensure a good fit, and who will tailor the suit once you get it? What happens if you break the glasses? Will your on-line provider replace a frame under warranty? If they send you a new frame, how will you get your lenses from the broken frame to the new one? Oh, buy a whole new pair? Hmmm... Don't forget that you know a lot more about suits than you do about glasses - much of what you pay your optician is for expertise, not product. In the future, I expect to have an "on-line package" that will include product design, measurements, and adjustments, the price of which will make your on-line purchase about the same as you would pay in my shop. Luckily, eyeglasses are NOT a commodity.
Why are they towing your car?
Did you remember to turn off the stove?
Those letters from the IRS weren't important were they?
Do you know how fast you were going?
Would you step back through the metal detector, sir.
Why is that dog barking at your suitcase, honey?
Is that horrible rash on my doctors hands anything serious?
I have a flight out of Philadelphia on USAir this Saturday. How much of a disaster is this going to be??
Do you understand these rights?
Is that one or two blue lines?
Wait, what pill did I give your son?
Where were you on the night of the fourteenth?
What is this funny rash?
Why did I take the red pill?
How am I going to find homes for these nine puppies?
was that a fart ???
:biglaugha :lol2:
Are you that Rosie O'Donnell?
Where do you want it? In the head or in the heart?
BOSS: "Do you know anything about this CELLAR website?"
Are you having an affair?
Any question that starts off with "Im not going to get angry - i just need to hear the truth..."
Ooooh crap.
How did that blonde hair come to be on your lapel?
Have you had anything to drink this evening, sir?
What is that white powder in your luggage?
Has anyone told you about the Kingdom of God?
Is there a doctor in the house?
What happened to the brakes?
Does this make me look fat?
"Could you squeeze this for me?? ...because I cant reach"
Has anyone seen the urine sample I stored in the fridge?
was the window of your car always that broken?
where do you see yourself in 10 years?
will you marry me?
do you know how fast you were going?
Was that a cop in that car we just passed?
Mum, how long will it take for that tree to grow back?
Where's the dustpan?
Hey, doesn't that guy who just bit (spit on/puked on) you have HIV (Hep C)?
BOSS: "Do you know anything about this CELLAR website?"
Oh God, just
reading that made my stomach drop a little....
I use my very lovely cellar.org tagline mug at work. I also, on occasion, forward my boss IOTDs having to do with aviation.
AFAIK he hasn't started regularly reading here, probably because there isn't enough discussion about NASCAR.
What do you think about Stanley Kubrick?
(you would not believe how many different places I have gotten into arguements over this question--for the record, I can't stand any of his films)
Did you shred the original, signed copies of that document?!?
can i have my gun back now? the one i left on your desk?
can i stay with you a few nights fellow cellarite?
is that chicken cooked?
Didn't you notice that the temperature gauge on the car was pegged all the way to the right?
Did I just hit "reply" or "reply all"?
Is there something hanging out of my nose?
I was really drunk last night. Why does my asshole hurt?
Is that a picture of me?
There was a guy named Guido looking for you last night. I gave him your home address, did he find you?
Did you realise the Secrecy button on that phone doesn't work?
The best-eaten-by date on that box was what year?
Should we open this label-less can?
I do love pulling labels off of cans and putting them back in my parents' cupboard.
I do love pulling labels off of cans and putting them back in my parents' cupboard.
That is a fun one. It's also fun to pull the label off and then create your own label and tape it on. Even an obviously fake one can be good.
Is that your kid peeking over the corner of the bed?
Shall we shave the other one before he wakes up?
OMG... I've been in the room when that one was uttered.
where's my rubber?!
Isn't it on the end of your pencil?
what do you mean no means no?
you don't swallow like your sister does?
Has this lump always been there?
can you believe darth vader is luke skywalkers father?
Your Mercedes you lent me- is the insurance paid up?
Ever see pics of your mom naked? Wanna buy some?
That guy over there says he knows you *really* well?
Excuse me, has anyone aboard had any flight experience?
Ohhhh, youre that chick on that website....right?
So how do you know my husband?
You wanna' try this thing I read about on this one website?
hey, what are you meant to do after you pull the pin?
Legal Dept.: Councillor Coombs, any chance you could pop into the office for a few minutes?
Do you know anything about this federal warrant?
Who left the scalpel in Mr. Johnson?
Why is there a lung in the lunch room?
Why is your mother emailing naked pictures of herself to the shift supervisor?
Who's been drinking from this cup marked "formaldehyde"?
Do you have papers for all these Spics?:eek:
You don't want your free lifetime supply of Coors Light?
Did you mail in the taxes?
How much do we owe??
Does this coffee taste anthraxy to you? (with apologies to the Onion)
It's a racist term for hispanic. I was referencing the other thread where folks who say they oppose national identity cards are saying they want to mandate landlords checking citizenship. Sometimes I'm not gentle when pointing out hypocrisy.
Who's been drinking from this cup marked "formaldehyde"?
i think they would know about it pretty damn quick. "he's been fixed!"
Nice!
-----
Who's pregnancy test is this?
Who's panties are these?
Where did all this blood come from?
You've done this before right?
How come there's no chicks in this bar?
Honey, you're home?
It won't come out?!
Why am I standing here in the middle of a village in Uzbekistan, stark naked with a sore butt and a bad hangover?
When are you due?
Do you smell dog poop?
Who's piece of crap car is that across the street?
Do you want fries with that?
You've never had sex with an animal?
Do you know what it feels like to have your dick chopped off?
Will you bend over a little further?
That was your pussy, wasn't it?
How long have you been standing there?
You've never had sex with an animal?
Do you know what it feels like to have your dick chopped off?
Will you bend over a little further?
That was your pussy, wasn't it?
How long have you been standing there?
:eek:
Who are you and what have you done with Spexxvet? ;)
:eek:
Who are you and what have you done with Spexxvet? ;)
Too much coffee. :morncoff: :devil:
Too much coffee. :morncoff: :devil:
Hell, I need some of that coffee! Mine has nowhere near the aphrodisiacal effects that yours has! :blush:
WHY-O-WHY WONT U ANSER UR FONE!!!???
WHY-O-WHY WONT U ANSER UR FONE!!!???
CUZ UR STALKERING ME
Y, R U SO GHEY?
WHY-O-WHY WONT U ANSER UR FONE!!!???
Y-0-Y wnt u ansr ur fone?
CUZ UR STALKERING ME
Y, R U SO GHEY?
:lol:
OMG that is some funny shit.
It happens to everyone, you sure bout' that?
Why is it moving?
Is she breathing?
You like it how?
Y-0-Y wnt u ansr ur fone?
I need an address to send the keyboard cleaning bill to :)
What did you do with insurance money and SBA loan?
Who drove the Rexton last???
Does that feel right to you?
Is this lump normal?
phone rings...after 2 rings I pick up.
Eddie Griffin: "Yo, Guyute, that Ferrari you lent me- were you covered for others driving it?"
In job interviews:
Can you recall a time when you....<enter heroic situation here>...?
Why did you leave your last job?
What are the answers to those questions case?
Or is that not allowed??.. I dont remember the rules
Why did you leave your last job?
I hate that question! Do they want you to be tactful, or honest?? Then of course, your day is ruined wondering which one it was. I also hate:
Are you willing to work overtime?
Evil fuckers.
can i show you where the male G-spot is?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I hate that question! Do they want you to be tactful, or honest?? Then of course, your day is ruined wondering which one it was. I also hate:
Are you willing to work overtime?
Evil fuckers.
Why did you leave your last job?
Ooooh. That can be an uncomfortable question. Assuming you've nothing ... actionable to hide, tell the truth. Look, the person asking the question knows you've parted ways with the last company. Everybody knows that. And everybody knows that had things been just peachy keen, you'd still be there. This answer has some... what ... difficult news in it, news that there was a disagreement between you and your former employer. There's no hiding it. So now that the "secret" is "out" you can quit sweating it.
Think about this too: the interviewer probably wants to hire you. They're at least hopeful that you'll be "the one". They want to hear your answer in a positive light. They want the old company's loss to be their gain. There are ways, acceptable, ethical ways to phrase the reason(s) for your departure.
One emphasis I like to make is "It was a mutual decision. They wanted more X and I wanted more Y (where Y is strikingly similar to the situation I'm applying for, not coincidentally)." If it was a "layoff" I include the company's financial reasons--implicate them and their responsibility for the change. It's important not to badmouth the old company. It's also important not to overtalk this on. Quick and to the point and then shut up and let the interviewer move on.
This can be a difficult question, but it can also present a big opportunity for you to impress the interviewer with your positive potential. It has downside risks too--most especially if you lie. Don't lie. I know you knew that already, really. Tell the truth in a favorable way to your receptive listener, don't worry, and then move on.
I've answered this question a lot of times, and though uncomfortable, it's not fatal. If the interviewer doesn't want to accept that you've lost a job in the past, you probably don't want to work for them anyway.
My ex b/f had a job interview this morning. He was fretting about that "why did you leave" question. He was honest the last time and it didn't help him out. You just never know. I was coaching him last night...you know "make eye contact, be sincere, you don't want to say your old boss was a stupid fucking man-billy dyke whore tobacco spittin' cunt." But she was.
I hope it went well.
It's a standard application form question in the UK
The NHS application form asks it for every employer you have had. Waste of space asking someone why they left a job back in 1988 imo. It's not like they'd check back further than 2 jobs anyway so why bother asking?
Luckily the next time I am asked this my answer will be "relocation"
So ex b/f went into the place, introduced himself, and said he was there for a job interview. They put him into an orientation. He starts Sunday Night (3rd shift.) I'm happy for him because I know he'll feel much better, and happy for me because I'm hoping I'll get some of the money he owes me. :)
Yay! Congrats to Shawn (and yes - here's hoping it benefits you too)
I think he owes me a dinner when he gets paid. :)
Why did you leave your last job?
They couldn't keep up with me.
I like to answer that question with:
"Because the security guard said I should."
I hate the first one worse, though, where the interviewer asks about examples of when you were uber-worker.
