Sprrrruuunnggg!!!
We were talking about this at lunch today and I was wanting to hear your horror stories of when you either...
a) sprung your parents doing the deed
or
b) got caught in the act
I (thankfully) never witnessed my parents in any kind of sexual act.
I've been caught a couple of times, the one I would most like to forget was the casino elevator.
Seeing as I have a bit of a *thing* for public sex, a couple of times isnt so bad I guess.
'fess up....
Never saw...but it is a funny story!
As a young teenager, I was awakened in the dead-of-night to hear the gate for the patio banging in the wind so I got up and walked (half asleep) downstairs to go shut the gate to keep it from making that racket. BUT...when I opened the sliding door, there was no wind and the gate was closed.
I was puzzled.
However, when I went back up the stairs I could still hear the banging noise, and deduced it was my folks' headboard. :redface:
I've been sprung a few times in compromising positions. One time having oral sex on my Mum's couch. (she was supposed to be sleeping)
Another time I was asked to "get a room" by a hotel bouncer when he came to check out the dark corners of a club I used to go to.
One time my cousin and his new g/f stayed over and stayed downstairs overnight cause we'd all been drinking. I went down to do the washing the next morning, and caught his bare arse up in the air. Ever since them I've called him moon man.
I already posted it in an earlier thread but at my local pool/park when I was 17, and she was 16. By the cops!!!!!! We had just finished sex and naively cuddling in the nude in the back of my car. Messy, messy, changed the relationship, our parents found out but we are still strong and in love. But that summer was hellllll. We are survivors!
Worst I've gotten caught doing is just layin' on top of her on the couch relatively innocently.. but it's been close a few times, and ill probably end up getting caught yet.
Thankfully, I've never cau... par... a... *retch* *hurk* just the thought is utterly revolting.
I walked in on my parents once when I was like 14. It was early in the evening and I needed to ask them a question, so I just opened their door and walked into their room to ask. I pretended I didn't see anything and got the hell out of there. They also pretended it never happened. We never spoke of it.
I never open doors now without knocking. Ever. I learned my lesson.
I don't know for a fact if I was actually caught. See, me and my boyfriend were in the family room in the back of the house on the couch. He was sitting and I was sitting on top of him facing away going at it. My dad was passed out drunk in the living room at the front of the house, and since he did this quite often I figured he wouldn't wake up. The only reason we didn't go in my room was it was right next door to where my dad was and my bed squeaked so I thought the couch was a better idea.
Well, halfway through our little session I saw my dad at the fridge. He wasn't facing me, but to get to the fridge he would have had to walk in facing us and we would have been clear to see. I jumped up and grabbed my boyfriend and hid by the computer where he could not see us. He went back in the other room and went to sleep and never said a word about it. It is possible he was still in a drunk haize and didn't look our direction, but I find that kind of hard to believe.
Needless to say I didn't do that when he was home anymore. :worried:
And I never caught my parents going at it. There were a couple mornings where when I went in their room to ask a question I got the distinct impression that they had just finished having sex. But I can pretend that wasn't the case... at least I don't have any visuals.
He was sitting and I was sitting on top of him facing away going at it.
When I was dating my first wife, I lived at home for the early days of our relationship. ExMrs Elspode was very, um, verbally appreciative in those days, and rather loudly so.
One day, after a particularly enthusiastic response on her part, I went upstairs to pee (no bathroom in my basement bedroom), and my mom looked up at me, and said, "Patrick, you'd better quit screwing that girl down there, or your stepfather is going to be pissed."
As I really had no secrets from my mom, there was no "getting caught" about it, but it was something of a shock to find out that I wasn't being as subtle about things as I had hoped.
As to catching my folks, well, that was an audio-only incident as well. When I was about ten, I suddenly asked my mom if she had bad dreams sometimes. "Why?", she asked me. "Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."
Needless to say, I didn't figure that one out until some years later. How was I to know there were noises involved in sex?
I suddenly asked my mom if she had bad dreams sometimes. "Why?", she asked me. "Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."
What did she tell you? Do you remember?
"Because, I hear you moaning sometimes at night in your room, and it sounds like you're scared or hurt."
On Family Guy, Lois resists Peter's advances bacause Stewie is in the room. Peter tells her "He'll just think I'm hurtin' ya" . . .
As I recall, she sort of skillfully dodged the question, claiming that, yes, she did sometimes have bad dreams, and she hoped I wasn't scared. It was the subtext, her looking sideways at my stepdad and smiling, and later laughing when I left the room. I pulled all of that together years later, after I'd actually made a girl make those sorts of noises. Well, that is, I *think* I made a girl make those noises. Could be she would have made them anyway even if I hadn't been doing what I was doing to her. I'm not sure, because I couldn't hear very well with her thighs over my ears and all.
I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places. Universal Studios back lot comes to mind. ;-)
But I've only been "caught" a few times and it was by friends. Usually they just join in. :-D
I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places.
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
I've done it in the back of a Volkswagen camper. Very comfortable. Highly recommended.
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
What, like the back of a Volkswagen?
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
(I'm a sucker of Kevin Smith movies.)
Just say reverse cowgirl
Well, I thought you had to be laying down for it to be that. Oops. :blush:
Well, I thought you had to be laying down for it to be that. Oops. :blush:
You may be right... But, girl on top, facing away... close enough I guess.
I walked in on my stepmother-to-be giving my father a blowjob when I was about 13. That was promptly followed by the first time she was ever "nice" to me :rolleyes:
I walked in on my stepmother-to-be giving my father a blowjob when I was about 13. That was promptly followed by the first time she was ever "nice" to me :rolleyes:
That'd be more devastating to get caught by, at least to the woman. To a 3rd party, she looks so degraded.
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
(I'm a sucker of Kevin Smith movies.)
Ahhhhuh!! I was starting to think none of you lot knew about Kevin Smith movies!!!
Can someone now please edjumacate LJ??
I walked in on my stepmother-to-be giving my father a blowjob when I was about 13. That was promptly followed by the first time she was ever "nice" to me :rolleyes:
ohhh shit monster! (hahaha, i tickled my own fancy, typed "that woulda sucked" then realised it was a really bad pun, even if it was unintentional....carry on....)
She was a rhythmic bump under the duvet at my dad's groin level. I got the impression she was rather hoping I was too innocent to know what was going on.
My son "thought" he caught me & his dad. I explained that his dad thought if we wrestled, HE would win & I had to prove him wrong. A few days later he questioned it, again, and when I assured him it was wrestling, he said "well that's good, because I thought you were having sex." I was driving at the time & almost steered into oncoming traffic. Still laughing, though....
I have a fondness for doing it in unusual places. Universal Studios back lot comes to mind. ;-)
But I've only been "caught" a few times and it was by friends. Usually they just join in. :-D
On a picnic table along a hiking trail in Burbank, CA.
Behind the set front of the hotel used in "Murder She Wrote" at Universal Studios Hollywood back lot (WHILE the tour trams were still running)
Behind a car wash at 4am
Back row of a movie theatre (half full)
And a few others. :-)
I was doin' it in the ocean one time and a crab pinched me on the damn big toe right in the middle of it.... I still hate that damn crab. I may hate them all.
One funny thing was, when I yelled she smiled, she thought...
I was doin' it in the ocean one time and a crab pinched me on the damn big toe right in the middle of it.... I still hate that damn crab. I may hate them all.
One funny thing was, when I yelled she smiled, she thought...
I take it you didn't yell "Crabs! I have crabs!"