Kids, Don't Try This at Home ...

wolf • Jan 4, 2007 5:42 pm
Today as I was coming into work I spent some time communing with a large gaggle of geese grazing on the field in front of the building. I began wondering if there was a way to determine sex based on plumage.

I found out.

How can I tell the difference between male and female Canada geese?

Unlike many species of birds, the gender of Canada geese can not be determined visually. The only exception is when dealing with a mated pair - most easily discerned during nesting season. The larger bird is usually the gander (male). In a nesting situation, the female will be sitting on the nest.

In the absence of these clues, absolute gender determination requires getting rather personal, specifically, inserting one's finger into their cloacal vent to detect the presence (male), or absence, of protruding reproductive organs (something that should NOT be attempted without proper training or experience).
piercehawkeye45 • Jan 4, 2007 5:49 pm
Well, I'll keep that in mind the next time I...I"m going nowhere with this
yesman065 • Jan 4, 2007 8:15 pm
Uh ok :bolt:
lumberjim • Jan 4, 2007 8:47 pm
the best way of 'sexing' a goose is to walk up to them with your arms spread up and out wide. the males will peck you in the nuts, the females will bitchslap you with their wings.
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 4, 2007 8:47 pm
I find that if I flirt, in a goosey maner, the females swoon and the males get agressive. :lol:
SteveDallas • Jan 4, 2007 9:37 pm
When our friends' cockatiels had babies, they did DNA testing to sex them. I suppose that's asking a bit much for wild geese . . .
xoxoxoBruce • Jan 4, 2007 10:49 pm
It's easier to just check 'em out when ya cook 'em up. :yum:
Spexxvet • Jan 5, 2007 9:21 am
Soooo, Wolf ....... How many were male, and how many were female, and how many fingers do you have left?:p
Sheldonrs • Jan 5, 2007 10:06 am
I wonder if that's where the term "goosed" comes from.
Hoof Hearted • Jan 5, 2007 11:22 am
Sheldonrs;304446 wrote:
I wonder if that's where the term "goosed" comes from.

Well that comment was responsible for me having to get paper towels and windex for the monitor.
Sundae • Jan 5, 2007 11:24 am
Spexxvet;304421 wrote:
Soooo, Wolf ....... How many were male, and how many were female, and how many fingers do you have left?:p

That is so dirty.... (I like it)
Sheldonrs • Jan 5, 2007 11:39 am
Hoof Hearted;304460 wrote:
Well that comment was responsible for me having to get paper towels and windex for the monitor.


PLEASE tell me it's because you coughed or spit a drink on it!!! lol!!!
Urbane Guerrilla • Jan 5, 2007 2:32 pm
Indeed; do NOT read this thread while drinking any beverage -- not if you value tidiness...
Shawnee123 • Jan 5, 2007 2:39 pm
Hoof Hearted;304460 wrote:
Well that comment was responsible for me having to get paper towels and windex for the monitor.



Sheldon has that effect on me quite often! ( I just reread this...I mean he makes me laugh like that quite often) :blush:

the best way of 'sexing' a goose is to walk up to them with your arms spread up and out wide. the males will peck you in the nuts, the females will bitchslap you with their wings.


That one produced an untimely guffaw. :D
suncrafter • Jan 12, 2007 3:44 am
LOL! I'll keep my fingers to myself. :)
Crimson Ghost • Jan 13, 2007 12:54 am
Soooo.. wolf, still bite your nails?
monster • Jan 15, 2007 11:11 pm
sexin ur g33z

:D
Sundae • Jan 16, 2007 11:49 am
:lol:
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2007 1:20 pm
Funny stuff!

Related question: on the way into work this morning there was one lone goose on our campus lake (more like a pond, I guess) I have never seen a goose completely alone. Where were all his buddies? I thought they always flew in groups of at least 3. I felt sad for him, and wanted to take him home.

(Disclaimer: all references to "he" or "him" are pure conjecture; I have at no time sexed a goose, nor do I foresee ever doing so.) :p
Sundae • Jan 16, 2007 1:49 pm
Your touching story inspired me to write a poem.

The Goose
There is a lonely goose
On our pond
Has he come inland
Because it is cold?

He circled once
And without a mistake
He knew very well
He was far too late

The geese have fled
And with them my heart
Just one lonely goose
With my hand up his arse.
Trilby • Jan 16, 2007 2:33 pm
Gawd, Sundae...

(sheds a tear...)

...that's beautiful!
Elspode • Jan 16, 2007 2:41 pm
May I respectfully suggest that the title of that poem be changed to "The Goose Goose"?
Trilby • Jan 16, 2007 2:46 pm
I will now, at this very second and without permission!, appoint myself SG's literary proxy.

With that in mind, SG respectfully retitles her poem "The Goose Goose" but nothing to do with Mother Goose as SG doesn't wish to infringe upon any copyrights, etc.
SteveDallas • Jan 16, 2007 2:53 pm
Shouldn't you be studying statistics? :whip:
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2007 3:01 pm
That Ma Goose is a stickler for trademarks! :)
Trilby • Jan 16, 2007 3:05 pm
SteveDallas;307736 wrote:
Shouldn't you be studying statistics? :whip:


Yes. :blush:
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2007 3:13 pm
What are the odds that Brianna would post in the Cellar instead of studying statistics? Also, do 4 out of 5 Cellarites recommend that behavior?
SteveDallas • Jan 16, 2007 3:18 pm
I just wanted to use the whip smilie.
monster • Jan 16, 2007 3:51 pm
Shawnee123;307698 wrote:
Funny stuff!
I felt sad for him, and wanted to take him home.



I bet all his buddies are but ghosts of Christmas just past. He sounds cold and lonely. You should take him home to get warm. About 425F should do it. You need a stuffing recipe?
Shawnee123 • Jan 16, 2007 4:24 pm
To paraphrase SG: if I had to do the killin' and preppin' I would never eat any kind of meat!

That was a funny post, btw monster! :p