What I want for Christmas - NSFW

Every year, millions of children send me letters, telling me what they want.

All I get in return is a plate of stale cookies and a glass of warm 2% milk.

Let me tell you what I want ---

You know - UT says I'm a prude (sometimes) - I guess maybe he's right- but this just seems a little over the top - not even cute or funny...

Sorry guys - don't appreciate this one:neutral:

Image deleted by UT, if you want to see someone looking like Leah Remini naked, just GIS for "Leah Remini naked". This is the Internet and all the porn you want is three clicks away.

I don't really give a crap, but it was really strange to find that on Christmas morning one of the first things my mother and fiancee saw was an open beaver shot on the Cellar.

hear hear! Merry Christmas UT!


I am so thankful for a place like this cellar where not only a higher standard is sought but it is OK to say so.

-peace dude-:D

I didn't see the image that was deleted; but, the description may have answered a question for me. I've always wondered what Santa Claus did throughout the rest of the year. With all of those Ho, Ho, Hos I thought that he might have been a pimp; however, I've gathered here that he's actually a gynecologist! :D

Santa Claus wrote:

All I get in return is a plate of stale cookies and a glass of warm 2% milk.

Not at my house when I was a kid. We always put out a corned beef on rye and a bottle of beer. Dad always said that was what Santa would want and he must have been right because in the morning the plate was clean and the bottle was empty!
:D

My discreet suggestions to the kids that Santa must get milk and cookies at ever house, and that perhaps he'd enjoy a change of pace, say, Scotch and buffalo wings, were quickly squelched.

Iv'e been reading my kids the biography of santa, and in it he states very clearly that he prefers goat cheese and chocolate chip cookies.

I hope that's (goat cheese) and (chocolate chip cookies), and not (goat cheese and chocolate chip) cookies.:thepain: :greenface

yes, the latter. and soymilk.

What kind of left wing, treehugging, New Age literature are you reading those kids, LJ?

No freakin way - that is too funny. If my kids were younger I'd definitely get that!

aw cute book.
does it mention that the Santa Claus we know today was created by Coca Cola?

yes, the latter. and soymilk.
Soymilk ????
So ugh , exactly HOW do you MILK a soybean ???

Phil wrote:

aw cute book.
does it mention that the Santa Claus we know today was created by Coca Cola?

Shit - I thought it was Macy's

Undertoad wrote:

Image deleted by UT, if you want to see someone looking like Leah Remini naked, just GIS for "Leah Remini naked". This is the Internet and all the porn you want is three clicks away.

I don't really give a crap, but it was really strange to find that on Christmas morning one of the first things my mother and fiancee saw was an open beaver shot on the Cellar.

Well, at least he tagged it NSFW, or did someone else add that?

And why does it take you three clicks?

We used to leve out a shot of whiskey and a mince pie, with a carrot for Rudolph. Children believe what you tell them, might as well make it worthwhile.

Phil wrote:

does it mention that the Santa Claus we know today was created by Coca Cola?

You're kidding right Phil? I don't have to direct you to snopes do I?

the uniform was re-designed by Co.....


wtf, you all knew this anyway....

.....just as sure that you all knew that the co.....co was also the biggest importer of coke....

and now it's the see eye eh?

Sundae Girl wrote:

We used to leve out a shot of whiskey and a mince pie, with a carrot for Rudolph. Children believe what you tell them, might as well make it worthwhile.


You're kidding right Phil? I don't have to direct you to snopes do I?

i just read SNOPES. Thank you for that. It seems like everything else, you takes yer choice .


http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/santa.asp

http://www.icubed.com/~colagrrl/xmas.htm

Phil wrote:

i just read SNOPES. Thank you for that. It seems like everything else, you takes yer choice .


http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/santa.asp

http://www.icubed.com/~colagrrl/xmas.htm

Sorry, I honestly wasn't sure whether you were joking, otherwise I would have been less offhand about it.

Personally I trust snopes - they include details and source material. In this case icubed (who I admit I have never read before) simply states "Prior to Sundblom's first rendition in 1931, people envisioned Santa Claus as leprechaun-like, or as a queer mixture of a gnome and a bishop."

I find "people" to be quite a sweeping statement - snopes provides specific examples which disprove this generalisation: 1841 - full sized Santa hired for outside shop; Nast's 1881 Merry Old Santa Claus like the modern Santa; Louis Prang's 1885 card featuring a red suited chubby Santa; New York Times report of 1927 stating that the height, weight and dress are standardised.

Just seems more comprehensive to me.

Sundae Girl wrote:

Sorry, I honestly wasn't sure whether you were joking, otherwise I would have been less offhand about it.

Personally I trust snopes - they include details and source material. In this case icubed (who I admit I have never read before) simply states "Prior to Sundblom's first rendition in 1931, people envisioned Santa Claus as leprechaun-like, or as a queer mixture of a gnome and a bishop."

I find "people" to be quite a sweeping statement - snopes provides specific examples which disprove this generalisation: 1841 - full sized Santa hired for outside shop; Nast's 1881 Merry Old Santa Claus like the modern Santa; Louis Prang's 1885 card featuring a red suited chubby Santa; New York Times report of 1927 stating that the height, weight and dress are standardised.

Just seems more comprehensive to me.

agreed.

Ya want to know what Santa Claus really looks like? :D

lol - doesn't that make you an elf then?

Naw, Reindeer. :elkgrin: