mysmartmouth has a lot of questions

lumberjim • Dec 22, 2006 5:21 pm
put all of your questions in this thread.
footfootfoot • Dec 22, 2006 6:48 pm
have I shown you my new spam links lately?
DanaC • Dec 22, 2006 7:26 pm
Can we take sandwiches?
Lucy • Dec 22, 2006 7:45 pm
My question is, why did I get so damned drunk at the office Christmas party this year? I know better.
SteveDallas • Dec 22, 2006 7:46 pm
So what did you do after getting drunk?
DanaC • Dec 22, 2006 7:54 pm
More interestingly, what did you do whilst you got drunk:)
Lucy • Dec 22, 2006 7:55 pm
Nothing stupid, I didn't show body parts or anything. Just drank too much, too fast and too early. Grey Goose. I didn't last long. Made the old man take me back to the hotel. He was very impressed. Thankfully, a couple years ago, another girl got VERY drunk and sat on the President's lap. So, I was pretty tame, in comparison. I just didn't want to get that drunk.
Beestie • Dec 22, 2006 9:06 pm
I wonder how or why things that seem so obvious now were everything but obvious at earlier points in life. In other words, how could I have been so outrageously stupid when I was younger?
wolf • Dec 22, 2006 9:35 pm
Is it safe?
JayMcGee • Dec 22, 2006 9:44 pm
How much do you expect to make out of this thread, and can i get a cut?
wolf • Dec 22, 2006 9:52 pm
What's the difference between a duck?
Griff • Dec 22, 2006 10:07 pm
What's the worst thing that could happen?
Spexxvet • Dec 22, 2006 10:29 pm
Why?
SteveDallas • Dec 22, 2006 10:33 pm
I need a drink. Martini? Or Scotch?
lumberjim • Dec 22, 2006 11:05 pm
SteveDallas I need a drink. Martini? Or Scotch? 12-22-2006 10:29 PM [COLOR=Blue]scotch[/COLOR]
Spexxvet Why? [COLOR=Blue]because[/COLOR]
12-22-2006 10:07 PM Griff What's the worst thing that could happen? 12-22-2006 09:52 PM [COLOR=Blue]all of your intestines could fall out and land in a pile of pointy rock salt[/COLOR]
wolf What's the difference between a duck? 12-22-2006 09:44 PM [COLOR=Blue]73[/COLOR]
JayMcGee How much do you expect to make out of this thread, and can i get a cut? 12-22-2006 09:35 PM [COLOR=Blue]$5 per thread; hell no[/COLOR]
wolf Is it safe? 12-22-2006 09:06 PM [COLOR=Blue]no![/COLOR]
Beestie I wonder how or why things that seem so obvious now were everything but obvious at earlier points in life. In other words, how could I have been so outrageously stupid when I was younger? [COLOR=Blue]yes, but you'd never admit it[/COLOR]
12-22-2006 07:55 PM Lucy Nothing stupid, I didn't show body parts or anything. Just drank too much, too fast and too early. Grey Goose. I didn't last long. Made the old man take me back to the hotel. He was very impressed. Thankfully, a couple years ago, another girl got VERY drunk and sat on the President's lap. So, I was pretty tame, in comparison. I just didn't want to get that drunk. 12-22-2006 07:54 PM DanaC More interestingly, what did you do whilst you got drunk:) 12-22-2006 07:46 PM SteveDallas So what did you do after getting drunk? 12-22-2006 07:45 PM Lucy My question is, why did I get so damned drunk at the office Christmas party this year? I know better. [COLOR=Blue]empty stomach[/COLOR]
12-22-2006 07:26 PM DanaC Can we take sandwiches? [COLOR=Blue]yes, but nothing with mayo[/COLOR]
12-22-2006 06:48 PM footfootfoot have I shown you my new spam links lately? [COLOR=Blue]no. no you haven't[/COLOR]
SteveDallas • Dec 23, 2006 12:57 am
Thanks, Jim, I'm really enjoying the Scotch. I don't know what I would have done without your assistance.
Phil • Dec 23, 2006 2:30 pm
how does the person who drives the snow plough get to work?
DanaC • Dec 25, 2006 5:36 am
He flies through the air holding a snowman's hand.
lumberjim • Dec 25, 2006 9:18 am
what does cheese say when it gets it's picture taken?
footfootfoot • Dec 25, 2006 9:48 am
lumberjim wrote:
what does cheese say when it gets it's picture taken?


Simile!
Crimson Ghost • Dec 25, 2006 10:12 am
Is it proper to sing "White Christmas" at a Kwanzaa observance?
DucksNuts • Dec 25, 2006 6:39 pm
Is it possible to have a crush on everyone from the cellar simultaneously?
Elspode • Dec 26, 2006 4:37 pm
Yes, but it is only permissible to share the most intimate photos with one...Elspode.
footfootfoot • Dec 26, 2006 6:50 pm
if a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, then how long does it take a cricket with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
wolf • Dec 27, 2006 2:39 am
Didn't that used to be a monkey?
rkzenrage • Dec 27, 2006 3:44 am
Does a busybody's house have mirrors?
Sundae • Dec 27, 2006 6:51 am
How do gay exhibitionist agoraphobics ever come out of the closet?
Crimson Ghost • Dec 27, 2006 7:44 am
If you see a lawyer drowning should you:
a) read a book
or
b) go to a movie?
Spexxvet • Dec 27, 2006 9:56 am
Are you looking at me?
Trilby • Dec 27, 2006 10:43 am
Is that a camera!?
Undertoad • Dec 27, 2006 10:45 am
Are we on the air right now?
Pie • Dec 27, 2006 1:11 pm
How do we achieve whirled peas?
Phil • Dec 27, 2006 1:17 pm
who's watching us?
Pie • Dec 27, 2006 1:43 pm
The IRS!
rkzenrage • Dec 27, 2006 4:23 pm
Are you really a Dr? Shouldn't I be coughing?
bluecuracao • Dec 27, 2006 8:05 pm
How many fingers am I holding up?
C I A • Dec 27, 2006 8:16 pm
Phil wrote:
who's watching us?
I'll give you three guesses.
The CIA • Dec 27, 2006 10:47 pm
and two of them don't count
JayMcGee • Dec 27, 2006 11:17 pm
.....and therein lies the problem.....
Hippikos • Dec 28, 2006 4:58 am
Did it hurt?
Trilby • Dec 28, 2006 7:26 am
Is that 8 inches?
Beestie • Dec 28, 2006 7:45 am
The first eight...
Spexxvet • Dec 28, 2006 8:31 am
Was it good for you?
Hippikos • Dec 28, 2006 8:43 am
Wherez the Kleenex or can I use the curtains?
Clodfobble • Dec 28, 2006 11:01 am
Does this look infected to you?
Undertoad • Dec 28, 2006 11:45 am
Did it look like that before you picked at it?
ferret88 • Dec 28, 2006 2:39 pm
How many licks DOES it take?
Trilby • Dec 28, 2006 2:43 pm
What is in the center of a tootsie pop?
ferret88 • Dec 28, 2006 2:49 pm
You gonna eat that?
Phil • Dec 28, 2006 3:11 pm
does my bomb look big in this?
BigV • Dec 28, 2006 3:15 pm
Can I come out of the corner now?
Beestie • Dec 28, 2006 3:45 pm
What the
Hippikos • Dec 28, 2006 4:30 pm
Is this a question or a statement?
Elspode • Dec 28, 2006 4:44 pm
What the phuck? Over.
lumberjim • Dec 28, 2006 6:01 pm
Elspode wrote:
What the phuck? Over.

DUDE. you are my uncle Biff
yesman065 • Dec 28, 2006 6:10 pm
Did you really think no one would notice?
lumberjim • Dec 28, 2006 6:32 pm
do you really expect answers to all of these questions?
Sundae • Dec 28, 2006 6:38 pm
No

But it was fiiiiine to lay that upon you
BigV • Dec 28, 2006 6:47 pm
Thank you, SIR! May I have another, SIR?!
Pie • Dec 28, 2006 10:35 pm
Where oh where has my little dog gone?
footfootfoot • Dec 28, 2006 10:36 pm
what the dilly-o?
wolf • Dec 29, 2006 2:26 am
Where have all the flowers gone?
CaliforniaMama • Dec 29, 2006 2:53 am
Why is it called hayfever when there is no hay around?
DucksNuts • Dec 29, 2006 4:29 am
Why does everything i like have to be soooo bad for me?
Hippikos • Dec 29, 2006 4:48 am
Will there be anything else?
steppana • Dec 29, 2006 8:46 am
Do you know the way to sanhosay?
Shawnee123 • Dec 29, 2006 8:47 am
Can I get that without pickles?
Spexxvet • Dec 29, 2006 8:50 am
Why the long face?
Spexxvet • Dec 29, 2006 8:51 am
Paper or plastic?
Would you like fries with that?
Can I substitute fries for the turnips?
Who made the salad?

Sorry, I'm just a little curious this morning.
Hippikos • Dec 29, 2006 8:58 am
Are these real?
Undertoad • Dec 29, 2006 9:20 am
Am I in some kind of trouble or something?
Elspode • Dec 29, 2006 9:38 am
How do you breathe through that tiny little thing?

Is that a gun in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
Shawnee123 • Dec 29, 2006 9:43 am
what if a much of a which of a wind gives the truth to summer's lie?
yesman065 • Dec 29, 2006 9:48 am
Which witch is which witch?

Are those real?
Spexxvet • Dec 29, 2006 10:32 am
What if a bunch of us got together and just did it?
Shawnee123 • Dec 29, 2006 10:46 am
Why don't we do it in the road?
yesman065 • Dec 29, 2006 10:54 am
Is there anybody out there?
barefoot serpent • Dec 29, 2006 11:04 am
are you taking the 5th...




and drinking it, too?
yesman065 • Dec 29, 2006 11:11 am
Is anyone gonna answer any of these?
BigV • Dec 29, 2006 11:38 am
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
yesman065 • Dec 29, 2006 11:44 am
BigV wrote:
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Damn Big V, do you realize you broke a 20+ post streak of questions?
Phil • Dec 29, 2006 12:18 pm
do you look at the toilet paper when youve wiped your arse?
lumberjim • Dec 29, 2006 12:19 pm
oh, that's a whole thread right there
glatt • Dec 29, 2006 12:29 pm
how else would you know if you got it all?
Phil • Dec 29, 2006 12:31 pm
glatt wrote:
how else would you know if you got it all?



exactly why i asked. ive asked people before and got a response something like "eww no! thats just too gross!". so i assume they have a shitty arse.
glatt • Dec 29, 2006 12:41 pm
We really should have another thread about this, but...

You can assume that after the first wipe, the paper won't be clean yet, so you don't need to look at that one. The second will probably not be clean either. Starting with the third wipe, you could begin looking, because the paper might be clean. But sometimes you can just tell from the feel of things that it's gonna take a while.
warch • Dec 29, 2006 1:08 pm
it's good to monitor these things...
wolf • Dec 29, 2006 1:49 pm
Aren't those Scott Tissue moistened wipes are like magic?

(see, I managed to phrase my response in the form of a question, Alex!)
BigV • Dec 29, 2006 2:08 pm
yesman065 wrote:
Damn Big V, do you realize you broke a 20+ post streak of questions?
I don't care




?
footfootfoot • Dec 29, 2006 2:20 pm
Afraid So
by Jeanne Marie Beaumont

Is it starting to rain?
Did the check bounce?
Are we out of coffee?
Is this going to hurt?
Could you lose your job?
Did the glass break?
Was the baggage misrouted?
Will this go on my record?
Are you missing much money?
Was anyone injured?
Is the traffic heavy?
Do I have to remove my clothes?
Will it leave a scar?
Must you go?
Will this be in the papers?
Is my time up already?
Are we seeing the understudy?
Will it affect my eyesight?
Did all the books burn?
Are you still smoking?
Is the bone broken?
Will I have to put him to sleep?
Was the car totaled?
Am I responsible for these charges?
Are you contagious?
Will we have to wait long?
Is the runway icy?
Was the gun loaded?
Could this cause side effects?
Do you know who betrayed you?
Is the wound infected?
Are we lost?
Will it get any worse?
Hippikos • Dec 29, 2006 5:03 pm
Your place or mine?
Shawnee123 • Dec 29, 2006 5:04 pm
Do you have the time?

[COLOR="Silver"]I have the place[/COLOR]
yesman065 • Dec 31, 2006 1:44 am
Its gonna cost how much??
Phil • Dec 31, 2006 6:45 am
spit, swallow or gargle?
SteveDallas • Dec 31, 2006 11:04 am
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Undertoad • Dec 31, 2006 11:34 am
Did I forget to turn the oven off?
monster • Dec 31, 2006 1:48 pm
Will it ever happen?
Phil • Jan 1, 2007 7:11 am
how do they sleep at night?
Hippikos • Jan 1, 2007 9:15 am
wots my name? what year? ....oh my head.....the bells....stop the bells....
yesman065 • Jan 2, 2007 8:30 am
what the....?
Tonchi • Jan 3, 2007 2:45 am
If I take some of those will it make me feel normal?
monster • Jan 3, 2007 9:40 am
How do you normally feel?
Phil • Jan 3, 2007 9:46 am
is this the way to amarillo?
Sundae • Jan 3, 2007 10:03 am
Daddy or chips?
Sheldonrs • Jan 3, 2007 10:13 am
How high is "up"?

What's new Pussycat?

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

Who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop?
barefoot serpent • Jan 3, 2007 10:22 am
does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
Spexxvet • Jan 3, 2007 10:36 am
Why, what's the normal dosage?
CaliforniaMama • Jan 3, 2007 10:42 am
What's normal?
BigV • Jan 3, 2007 5:29 pm
Again?!
ferret88 • Jan 3, 2007 5:55 pm
Who can it be now?
Spexxvet • Jan 3, 2007 7:05 pm
Can ya hold my beer a min't?
lumberjim • Jan 3, 2007 7:17 pm
can you believe we got 112 posts out of a smartass thread i made to taunt a newbie?
Hippikos • Jan 4, 2007 4:15 am
What will happen if I press this button?
Shawnee123 • Jan 4, 2007 9:14 am
Should you taunt Happy Fun Ball?
Phil • Jan 4, 2007 2:27 pm
lumberjim;303924 wrote:
can you believe we got 112 posts out of a smartass thread i made to taunt a newbie?


yes.
lumberjim • Jan 4, 2007 3:21 pm
isn't that a foul ball?
BigV • Jan 4, 2007 3:26 pm
why is it called the "foul pole" when it's clearly in fair territory?
lumberjim • Jan 4, 2007 3:57 pm
is this another 'bad place' reference?
Crimson Ghost • Jan 5, 2007 12:11 am
Can a "foul pole" be cured with penicillin?
Spexxvet • Jan 5, 2007 9:17 am
Why would you let Mitch Williams pitch in that situation?
Undertoad • Jan 5, 2007 9:25 am
Is it a cold, or just allergies?
Sundae • Jan 5, 2007 9:29 am
On a clear day, would I be able to see a cock puppet from here?
Shawnee123 • Jan 5, 2007 9:33 am
Will a little dab REALLY do ya?
BigV • Jan 5, 2007 11:45 am
Am I doing the right thing??