Post your TMI here
This thread is for those of you who are big fans of metaphoric train wrecks. You know you shouldn't, it will make you feel sick, but can't resist.
So post your TMI here for the rest of us to be gacked about.:greenface
This would be tempting if I hadn't already posted my TMI in two different threads. I think Cellarites have probably had just about enough of my TMI.
Thin line between sharing and roughing the reader...
I second Els emotion. My entire posting life here has been TMI.
Hey, I'm still a newbie so I'm taking it easy with the TMI. Just give me time...give me time :p .
Stormie
We'll let you know when we've had TMI, Stormie. I'm pretty sure we won't have been overwhelmed before your nipple pic shows up, anyway. :D
When I was 24 I felt a lump on my left nut. It scared the crap outta me. I went for ultrasound and they determined that it was a cyst, because it was filled with liquid and not solid.
What's a TMI?
Too Much Information.
lol...oh right. Hmmm...I've got lots of those. Let me get back to you.
I was in the supermarket with a friend the other day, and sent him off to get me a jar of jalapenos. He came back with red ones, saying there were no green. As we were already near the front of the queue and it was my fault for forgetting in the first place, I took him at his word and bought them.
My mouth didn't notice much difference between red and green jalapenos. Neither did my digestive system.
My arse did.
Within six hours I was on the toilet every 20 minutes or so. The pain was so intense I thought that I would find the whole of my rectum hanging out when I went to wipe. In fact after a few sessions it did begin to pooch out a bit.
Even when I had finished on the toilet the fun wasn't over, when it all contracted back together again it hurt even more.
Basically I felt like someone has pulled my passage outside my body, sandpapered it down, rubbed it with vinegar and poison, then stuffed it back up inside again with a broken stick.
Don't tell me you meant emotional TMI now, please.
Within six hours I was on the toilet every 20 minutes or so. The pain was so intense I thought that I would find the whole of my rectum hanging out when I went to wipe. In fact after a few sessions it did begin to pooch out a bit.
Even when I had finished on the toilet the fun wasn't over, when it all contracted back together again it hurt even more.
Arg thats gross, I'm so sorry. You should get an periwash bottle (the squirty bottle they give pregnant/just delivered women), so that you can squirt water at it instead of having to wipe. Thats what my mother uses when she's sick or is having to go for a colonoscopy (sp?). I use one when I'm on my monthly, they help.
My TMI...hmmm well I haven't been G on here really but I also haven't given details...so here is some good stuff. My boyfriend likes to have sex from behind (not anal) so do I, hits the spot every time. :p
SG, besides the periwash, you might also want to obtain a copy of Johnny Cash doing "Ring of Fire"... :p
Where to begin.
One time, after pooping, I went to wipe and found that there was something refusing to break off/get wiped by the normal amount of pressure. I got an extra few squares of TP, grabbed it and pulled.
10 inches of tapeworm. I thought it was an undigested onion ring at first, but then I saw the segments. The doctor said it probably came from a dog or cat, or perhaps eating too-raw meat.
OK mrnoodle, if that's true, then you win.:eek:
That doesn't give me the creeps but its pretty cool! Neat little science experiment in your own digestive tract.
UT, can I get a bigger font for my [SIZE="7"][COLOR="Purple"]TMI!!! TMI!!![/COLOR][/SIZE]
All too true. The pic is a GIS for "tapeworm", not my particular specimen. Mine didn't have a head on it. I suppose it could conceivably still be in there somewhere, although I'm asymptomatic if it is. I think the next time I go in to the doctor's I will ask about it and see if I should take an anti-parasite drug to kill it off, just in case. He wasn't concerned when it happened, so I doubt he'll be concerned now.
I kind of thought it was cool, but I figured those with buggish type phobias would freak out :lol:
Your story reminds me of the first part of
this story I read years ago. The second part of this story occurs when the protagonist takes a pill to kill the worm, and the rest of it comes out. All 500 feet (exaggeration) of it.
DAMMIT. thanks alot. I'm calling the doctor today. or maybe tomorrow.
Well Fuck moodle - way to cure my crush on you :(
The doctor said it probably came from a dog or cat, or perhaps eating too-raw meat.
Yeesh. Well, the summer after my senior year in high school, IBM gave my school a grant to develop some educational software, and they hired students to do it. I lived 3 hours away from the school, so they lent me a PC (Turbo Pascal 3.0 and True Basic! Oh, yeah!!! :compute: ) I would write software and visit campus a couple times a month for updates etc. It was a great summer job. Though my mother sometimes had trouble with the concept that I had to work and just because I was at home did not mean I was free to do whatever I (or she) wanted.
So one day it's getting toward the end of the summer and Dad was planning to set our gutter to drain out past the edge of our property into a ditch by the simple expedient of putting a pipe in under the grass. I really didn't feel too hot so I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. Mom came in and informed me that "You [size=4]
WILL[/size] wake up, and you [size=4]
WILL[/size] get out there and help your father."
So I did. We're talking a ditch, 6 inches wide, 8 inches deep, 25? feet long? I forget, but it was enough to take the pipe all the way out to the edge of the yard, and digging it (plus laying the pipe & covering it up) took us all day in the August heat of North Carolina. When we were done at about 5 PM I came inside, took a shower and flopped down on my bed. Around 9:30 PM I woke up, stumbled to the kitchen, got a drink, mumbled something to the effect that, "No thanks Mom, I'm really not hungry," and went back to bed.
Now at this point Mom's alarm bells must have been exploding. The fact that I was a) sleeping at this time of day--regardless of how much work I had put in--and b) refusing food when I hadn't eaten since lunch, and when as a 17-year-old boy I normally inhaled the contents of a refrigerator two or three times a day, must have been truly scary. I'd like to think that at this point she had some regrets over forcing me to get out of bed and work all day. But being a parent of a couple scam artists myself, I can't judge her too harshly.
The next morning (I was still asleep) she dragged me out of bed again, this time to go to the doctor. She was convinced that I had mono. The doctor poked me a bit and said, no, doesn't look like mono. Appendicitis is a distinct possibility. Now mom had a mild freak-out at this, but I was quite happy. You see, it was less than two weeks before the start of classes at the university. A case of mono put me in grave danger of missing enough of the semester that I might just as well not start. Whereas appendicitis ought to be a pretty quick fix, and get me off to classes on time. I dismissed any potential risks from having surgery, at least for something as routine as an appendectomy.
So that's what was going through our respective heads while we were waiting for the blood tests to come back. But no, that wasn't it at all. "You have worms," proclaimed the doctor. "Probably ate at a restaurant where the waiter hadn't washed his hands." He prescribed some medicine that he said would kill everything off, and sure enough I felt better within the day.
Fast Forward another week and I'm back off to the school for my final project meeting.. the project director and I hit a Chinese restaurant that we'd eaten at several times before. As we wait for a table, I notice behind the counter.... a certificate on the wall... "Sanitation Grade B"... "Ron," I said, "Let's go. We're eating somewhere else." "Why, what's up?" "We just are. I'll tell you later."
Good Lord....I knew I shouldn't have been eating while I was reading this thread. I'll never be able to have a hot pocket again....
Good Lord.... I'll never be able to have a hot pocket again....
:eyebrow:
hot pocket it's something you eat...
umm... I mean, out of a box...
oh, n/m
muahahaha I'm addicted to that hot pocket skit in the links thread, my friends think I'm weird because I just burst out with "hot pocketttttt" periodically.
uhuh I think thats him, funny as!!
Hot pockets arent very popular over here, but I had the misfortune of trying one and they are just blerg!!
Back in October 2005, I was going to Madison Wi. for surgery, I had been eating Vicoden for pain For months, and was CONSTIPATED bad. after nearly a month of hit and miss in the head, I was in intense pain. I spent a day walking around the Tomah Wi. VAMC and drinking water, I passed a BRICK. A turd the size of 2, 12 oz soda cans placed side by side. Their was rosemary leaves and stems in there. I had not used rosemary in at least 6 weeks.
The rest of the story, is over the course of 3 hours the rest of this monster came out.
If you would like I will tell you about pumping out gallons of puss from my hydritinitas eruptions.:vomitblu: :turd:
I hate this thread...but I cant stop reading it!!
OK, here's one for you.
One time I'd been drinking tequila all night and the next morning I was feeling a bit seedy, and my stomach was rumbling, so I thought maybe a glass of nice cold milk might settle things down.
I jumped in the shower straight afterwards and promptly threw up the glass of milk. That wasn't the gross part. The gross part was that it had curdled instantly in my stomach and what came out was a very well set tub of yoghurt which refused to find its own way down the plug hole, so I had to poke it down with my toes, which of course induced more vomiting. Before long I was up to my ankles in watery spew.
Now that's gross.
I found out that my wife Truely Loves me a few years ago ,
we had been stomping around in the woods ( fishing , or just tromping about ?? ) and when we got home i was takeing a shower , doing the routeen tick check , all was well untill i was washing my ,,,, well ,,,, my ass hole , there was a "cling-on" that wouldn't go away , and I couldn't see what was the problem , well,,,, she had to remove a tick from Down there for me .
I'll spare you guys the horrors of some other expenences from over seas : puke :
The gross part was that it had curdled instantly in my stomach...
So what the hell hapens when I drink a White Russian?! (Or a Colorado Bulldog...)
Owww...now that would really hurt!
I think the vodka in a white russian mixes pretty well with milk. Tequila (along with all the lemon/lime that went with it) doesn't seem to.
Oh...the citrus. Like an "ice-box pie" where the lemon actually cooks the eggs (in the refrigerator).
I've never had eggs cooked with lemon juice, but I have had fish served that way.
I had acrylic nails put on yesterday (I have lady's hands now, please ask if you want a picture) and I keep forgetting.
I was in the bathroom having a rummage round in my nose (with a tissue I might add) and poked myself eye-wateringly hard on the soft flesh inside. 5 minutes later it's stopped bleeding but everything seems to smell of copper.
Careful to use appropriate implements if you find yourself working at the other end now that you've got those claws, SG.
Elspode! Are you accusing me of having.... fanny bogeys?
I had acrylic nails put on yesterday (I have lady's hands now, please ask if you want a picture) and I keep forgetting.
I was in the bathroom having a rummage round in my nose (with a tissue I might add) and poked myself eye-wateringly hard on the soft flesh inside. 5 minutes later it's stopped bleeding but everything seems to smell of copper.
I bet what you identified as "copper" smell was actually iron, from the hemoglobin in your blood. I have had similar experiences during nosebleeds.
I was running some barbed wire for a new breeding section for our stock.
It was running behind because of bad weather and a late delivery, so I was working very long days. I cut my middle finger, just below the nail, very badly. A sane person would have gotten stitches, but the work had to be done. Needless to say, because of the exposure, gloves being taken on-&-off, it became infected pretty quickly.
But, I was pretty young and was working until I dropped and then just going back at it again.
Half way through the third day I decided to change my bandage and saw something I, at first, thought was puss or fat, move.
It was a maggot.
Of course I was going to pull him out with some tweezers.
I am not easily grossed-out, but this freaked me a bit.
One of the older Wahaken Indians that worked under me, through some motions had me wait and called over the foreman, who could speak English.
He told me how my new friend would only eat the "bad meat" and them drop out. He then asked if he could dress my wound.
He loosely dressed it, so my little friend could breath and we went back to work.
I was given instructions on how to wash, etc, and off we went.
My little friend did, indeed, only eat the dead flesh and excreted some kind of coagulant that sealed-up the rest. It stopped the infection and I ended-up with a much smaller scar than expected that finally grew-over.
He dropped-out after three days... I don't know when or where.
I have read a lot, since then, about the medicinal use of maggots.
After the first day's creepiness, seeing, and feeling, my little friend in there was very cool... for me.
Most people I tell don't see it that way.
Say hello to your leetle friend...?
;)
That's not TMI, that's a cool story.
I have actually heard of maggots being good for that kind of thing. I think it was on CSI, though. Didn't believe it really. Cool to know it was true.....although, I don't think I would be able to stand it if a maggot lived in my finger. Kudos to you for sticking it out. I would have taken the bug out and probably lost half my finger!!
I watched it pretty closely to make sure he was doing "his thing" and to see if I needed to intervene... plus the crew kept looking too, along with the guy with the experience. It was neat to watch and feel. If it was not working, I would have gone to the Dr. Made for some interesting breaks.
I don't think I would be able to stand it if a maggot lived in my finger. Kudos to you for sticking it out. I would have taken the bug out and probably lost half my finger!!
Seconded.
It probably was neat to watch and feel, but I don't know if I could have got over the Ick! factor. Then again, I might have gone along with it just for the attention (I let people feel the contraceptive implant under my skin for the same reason)
somewhere I came across a site where a guy had documented his untreated brown recluse spider bite. Not much left of his hand...
The maggot thing? I think you just won the TMI contest.
I may have mentioned before that I have to take coumadin to prevent blood clots. After so many DVTs and constant pulmonary emboli during the last 15 years, they finally discovered that I have a congenital condition which is the opposite of hemophilia. If you look at me, I clot, so they have to keep me loaded with the blood thinners. This has some unpleasant side effects, like bruising easily or mottled skin, and you have to be especially careful not to have accidents.
One summer morning I woke up with my nose heavily crusted with boogers (allergies) so when I went into the bathroom I grabbed a Kleenex and probed around inside there. Blowing your nose vigorously is a no-no, so I thought I was doing the right thing but I forgot to use Vapo Rub first and OOOOPS! The next thing I knew I had blood running from my hand all the way down my arm. My throat felt like it was filled with hot syrup and I reflexively swallowed. Horrible! I had blood gushing down my face and my throat at the same time, it looked like a broken artery. Cold cloths, pressing against the side of my nose, nothing worked, it even seemed to be getting worse. There I was, wearing nothing but a thin-strapped T-shirt, standing in front of a counter and sink that were covered with blood, staring at myself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. I was gagging on the blood and had to keep spitting it out, but my mouth immediately filled up again.
Put a towel over my face and ran for the phone and dialed 911. Told the lady I took blood thinners and was having a hemorrhage. That operator was really good, she got my address and my doctor's name and how to find my unit and I ran back to the bathroom with a towel heavy with blood. The sink filled up and I tried to wash some of the blood down the drain but it was coming too fast, the water sloshed on the floor and now there was a slippery floor to deal with. It suddenly occurred to me that the front door was still locked and I didn't have any pants on. OMG. It is impossible to put on a pair of jeans while holding a towel to your face on a slippery floor. Before I even got that done the paramedics were pounding on the door.
I unlocked it and two young guys came rushing in with one of those gurney things and wanted me to lie down and get my vitals taken but with a towel over my mouth I said I couldn't because the blood was running down my throat and I would choke and then proved it by choking. I am running to the sink again with a female paramedic running after me shouting "Don't swallow it!!! Don't swallow it!!!" I am spitting buckets into the sink while she is helping me get into my jeans and a less revealing T while the guys are clearing a path to the front door, the cat is hiding in the bedroom and all the neighbors are lined up to see if somebody died because there is an ambulance on the street. The girl paramedic is telling me to be sure not to let any of it get down my throat because it will curdle in my stomach and make me vomit and we have to prevent that, etc. Then she grabs me around the back of my head and shoves a king-size tampon up my nose before I even see it coming!! This is supposed to help stop the bleeding, but apparently the rupture is way back past my nasal passages because all this accomplishes it now ALL the blood has to be spit out instead of having the towel over my face too. They are adjusting the gurney so I will be sitting up when I realize that I have to tell the momster what happened and why I am not home. I dialed and just blurted out MommaI'mgonnahosptalcanyoucometodahouzeandopenacurtidsandI'mriddysorrybutdebadroomzfullabloodIgoddaawfulnozebleedthanksmom, and they whisked me out the door.
It felt like the Academy Awards. I was sitting up clutching a blanket around me with one hand and holding one of those plastic basins under my chin and trying to say "I'm OK" to all the staring neighbors. The girl medic said "Oh dear, this isn't working," as she took the 4th basin full of blood from me, and then she shoved a SECOND tampon up my nose with the first one. It felt like my nose was going to split. I wonder what they do with all that blood, they must have something with a lid on it in the ambulance.
They rushed me into the ER and into a little exam room and I am trying to explain that I have filled up this basin with the blood I am spitting out and they better get me a new one but they are so short handed that nobody is paying attention. I just pointed to one I saw on the counter and sputtered "Gimmedat!!", so somebody finally did. When they were taking my insurance info somebody told me that there was only one doctor but she would put a priority on my chart because they could not stop the hemorrhage. To make the nightmare shorter, the doctor never came. I filled up 3 more basins, which were stacked around this little room because nobody could stop long enough to do something, and after about an hour and a half I managed to get a nurse to find out what was holding up the doctor. She said he was still tied up and I asked her what happened to my priority status and pointed to the basins. She goes rushing out and I heard her gasping to somebody "Where is Dr. ____, what is he doing? There's a girl bleeding to death in there!" Another nurse came in and I said "I'm really sleepy..." and passed out with the basin under my chin.
That finally got the doctor to see me, but he acted like he was not the least bit interested and that I was spoiling his day. They got the tampaxes out of my nose and cleaned up my face and hair from all the blood and stuck something with a light on it up there to see why the blood wouldn't stop. I was pronounced to have "a fisure opened in a blood vessel high up in the open area behind the nasal passages". At this point I had been hemorrhaging for hours and was very weak, so they were pretty much treating me like a rag doll. Doctor Dearest said, "The only way we can stop this is to use a Rhino, otherwise we will have to take you to surgery." Then he stuck something plastic up my poor abused nose, WAY up it, I could swear he touched the brain, and cranked on it to expand it. It felt like somebody hammered in a brick, that good, but amazingly the blood slowed and then stopped. Then they piled a bunch of blankets on me and told me to sleep if I wanted to because I was going to be there all afternoon while they checked my vitals to be sure I was recovering alright. I heard somebody say "How much blood did she loose?" and somebody answered, "I don't know, but at least 3 units here." And then I went to sleep.
I woke up about 3 hours later. It was like I couldn't see any colors, very strange. The momster had arrived at the hospital and was waiting to see if I could be released. A nurse told me that my blood tests had come back and the coagulation reading (Protime) was more than 4 times what my normal rate was; nobody could explain why it had soared out of control because I had not taken or eaten anything which could explain it. They finally checked me out around 5pm, they said if I wanted I could stay in the hospital overnight to be sure but I said No way. So they were trying to give me instructions about coming back to be checked the next day and that I would have to keep this rhino thingey in for a week and then have it removed by my own doctor and to stop taking the coumadin until further notice.
When I got home, the house looked like nothing had even happened. The momster said it had looked like the Mansons had been there. She had cleaned everything up, bless her, the kitchen sink and floor was even splattered from when I was trying to make the phone calls. The cat didn't come out of hiding until after dinner. When I could get up the nerve, I looked at myself in a mirror and it was quite a spectacle. The right side of my face looked like Rocky Balboa after a match, dried blood and purplish from having that Rhino stuffed up there. I guess they call it that because it is the shape of the horn on said zoo animal and almost as big. I had a string hanging from the Rhino, of which all I could see was the white end of the plug, and they folded that back and put a big piece of tape over it so you don't walk around with a string hanging out of your nose and look any dumber than you do already.
After a week, I went back and had the thing removed, and I don't believe that before then I had ever seen anything so gross. It lay there on the examination table, HUGE and obscene looking, covered with mucus and with a foot-long liver-colored blood clot which had been hanging off the back end of it and down my throat. My doctor said, "Now we aren't going to do this anymore, are we?" and I heartily agreed.
I've not heard of anybody snorting this stuff; but, it couldn't hurt to have some around for other contingencies. I keep this item in my trauma bag and survival kits.
http://www.z-medica.com/Tonchi
OMG. I've never been as disgusted and fascinated by something at the same time. I read the whole thing through with my hands over my open mouth.
I'm ridiculously squeamish about blood. When I give blood I won't let them tell me anything about what's happening or it makes me retch (they know me at the Donor Centre now and let me get on with it). So I both loved and hated the image of the Manson family decorating your house while you were out :)
Tonchi. That was the coolest thing EVER!
Thanks!
Elspode! Are you accusing me of having.... fanny bogeys?
Wrong side, luv...and I was thinking more along the lines of amusement, not hygiene.
:vomitblu: @ Tonchi's TMI
I guess they call it that because it is the shape of the horn on said zoo animal and almost as big.
Actually, the animal is named that because "rhino" refers to the nose. Thus the medical term "rhinoplasty" being used for a nose job.
rhinoceros - c.1300, from L. rhinoceros, from Gk. rhinokeros, from rhinos "nose" (a word of unknown origin) + keras "horn." Shortened form rhino is first attested 1884.
Sounds scary as hell, Tonchi.
Oh, only cool because you are ok now, btw. I hope it never happens again.
That gets a "O-nee macarod" for sure (inchling's version of Holy mackeral)
Just holy mackeral
Thank you, thank you very much, I accept this award on behalf of the fine men and women of American Ambulance and the St. Agnes Medical Center ER, who have come to know me all too well in the last 12 years :blush:
[SIZE="1"]I wanna' see pics of the bathroom.[/SIZE]:redface:
No you don't, I'm just lucky that fresh blood washes off better than the bottle of makeup that I dropped on the floor once. The momster did a fine job of cleanup while waiting, she even had washed and folded the bloody towels before picking me up when I got released. For once, her O/C behavior had a positive result for me :neutral:
...just lucky that fresh blood washes off...
[pedantic]
To clean up fresh blood, please use cold water. It will rinse clean from clothes, etc. Hot water will set the stain much harder.
[/lady macbeth]
[notpedanticbuthandyhint]Soak stained bloodied items in cold salt water. Rub small fresh bloodstains with saliva
[/exceptwhenMansonshavebeen]
Elspode - realised fanny bogeys was Britspeak. Should have said snatch boogers :)
White vinegar in a spray bottle helps too. It breaks-down the proteins. It also helps with any smells later. It also helps with stains, I use it most times with my whites instead of bleach, they last longer. When I worked on the ranch and in construction, it also was better at getting all the smells out.
One cup per load.
One cup per load.
How many loads of bloodstained clothing do you do a week?
Used to do a lot. Ranch, bouncing and construction work gets messy. I also used to hunt/track professionally... plenty of blood there too.
Elspode - realised fanny bogeys was Britspeak. Should have said snatch boogers :)
I seem to keep being too subtle...you still don't get that I was talking about self-pleasuring. :blush:
I was afraid you were posting from Ipswich this week...
I seem to keep being too subtle...you still don't get that I was talking about self-pleasuring. :blush:
Oops! I didn't go back and read the original today, just my quote on your reply. Yes - I did realise that was what you were saying, but was pretending not to for comedy reasons.... Which I then forgot and responded with a translation instead.
Can we agree we were both funny and leave it while my head is unexploded :redface:
You know what makes for a completely awesome weekend? Having severe flu and your period at the same time.
Mr. Clod's all, "Well, at least you know for sure the vomiting isn't morning sickness."
I'm about to decide whether I want my contraceptive implant replaced.
It has to be removed, because its time is up.
But do I want another one?
Current implant only had one night of useful action, and even then it was only as a back-up for condoms.
If I have it out and don't replace it, I'll go back on the blob again; given I have no intention of having children it just seems like an unnecessary inconvenience.
Hey, I'm still a newbie so I'm taking it easy with the TMI. Just give me time...give me time :p .
Stormie
Thank you, thank you very much, I accept this award on behalf of the fine men and women of American Ambulance and the St. Agnes Medical Center ER, who have come to know me all too well in the last 12 years :blush:
Wow! Remember when Stormie was still a newbie?
And speaking of cellarites missing, what ever happened to Tonchi?
If I have it out and don't replace it, I'll go back on the blob again; given I have no intention of having children it just seems like an unnecessary inconvenience.
I have to say, getting periods again after so long without has been a lot worse than I anticipated.
When people tell you whether their significant other is circumcised or not. Makes for great table conversation, when out with friends
When people tell you whether their significant other is circumcised or not. Makes for great table conversation, when out with friends
file this under "things men never say"
file this under "things straight men never say"
FTFY
point taken.
I thought of that when I posted, but then thought it was .. nevermind. I stand fixed.
Fixed. But are you circumcised?
Fixed. But are you circumcised?
omg!!
file this under "things men never say"
Unless they have an African wife.
Fixed. But are you circumcised?
Shouldn't that question be directed to my partner?
Unless they have an African wife.
I thought of that too,
SHUDDDER!!!