Name Your Little Friend (Possibly NSFW)

Elspode • Oct 25, 2006 4:30 pm
Okay...you know you've all got one...especially you dudes. And I've known a few ladies who had a really, really nice one. What am I talking about? Why, a name for your genitals, of course.

No self-respecting male that I've yet met, under the influence of sufficient quantities of alcohol, would admit that he'd never named his trouser snake. My first lay called her little muffin "Megan", and cursed her when things weren't going well.

So...how 'bout ya'll? I'll even start things off by telling you that I've saddled my moisture missle with the gothic, monstrous eponym of "Igor". You know...hides in dark places, prefers dank, fuzzy surroundings, slips in and out of tight nooks quickly and almost silently. Seemed logical.

Now, if I could just get him to say, "Yes, Master..."
Shawnee123 • Oct 25, 2006 4:38 pm
Some guy I know called his Lord Silly
DucksNuts • Oct 25, 2006 7:50 pm
I know a guy that calls his "him", it always weirds me out....I always think of the weirdo from Silence of the Lambs.

I imagine him in bed saying "You will take him in your mouth". :worried:

I dont have a name for my girlie bits, the boys at work call *her* "woozza", please dont ask why they have a name for my girlie bits.
Aliantha • Oct 25, 2006 7:57 pm
Why do they have a name for your girly bits ducks?
SteveDallas • Oct 25, 2006 8:08 pm
I have never felt the urge to personify my equipment with a name.

I did hear a female comedian, whose name I can't remember, use "Snap the Wonder Clam".
Aliantha • Oct 25, 2006 8:47 pm
me either
Sperlock • Oct 25, 2006 9:44 pm
Nope, no name for my equipment.
Buddug • Oct 25, 2006 9:49 pm
The worst thing I have ever heard is 'front bottom' for well , you know what .
jinx • Oct 25, 2006 9:51 pm
"People call me the Bry man; I'm the stylish one of the group. I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang."
Aliantha • Oct 25, 2006 9:56 pm
lmao...where in the world did you get those names from?
Clodfobble • Oct 26, 2006 12:31 am
Never named my reproductive organs, but at some point in college my boobs got named Phobos and Deimos...
SteveDallas • Oct 26, 2006 12:40 am
How did that happen? It hardly sounds complimentary.
Scopulus Argentarius • Oct 26, 2006 12:45 am
Clodfobble wrote:
Never named my reproductive organs, but at some point in college my boobs got named Phobos and Deimos...


Interesting Nickname....why?



Men are from Mars
Women are from Venus...


Yada..
Scopulus Argentarius • Oct 26, 2006 12:49 am
DucksNuts wrote:
I know a guy that calls his "him", it always weirds me out....I always think of the weirdo from Silence of the Lambs.

I imagine him in bed saying "You will take him in your mouth". :worried:

I dont have a name for my girlie bits, the boys at work call *her* "woozza", please dont ask why they have a name for my girlie bits.



Ducks... referring the appendage in the third person ... creepy ... yeaahhh ok, it kinda reminds me of Bob Dole (and by association the Viagra Ads...) ... or could it be Gollum my precioussssss...


The other question is why did the boys at work name your bits... did your bits answer when they called? :D
rkzenrage • Oct 26, 2006 12:51 am
Sperlock wrote:
Nope, no name for my equipment.
DucksNuts • Oct 26, 2006 1:04 am
Actually, I dont know *why* they have a name for my bits, they just do. Its just a very dysfunctional place to work.

It used to be "minge", but "mingeless" didnt have quite the same ring...so now its "wooza".

"Get your wooza in here pronto"
Aliantha • Oct 26, 2006 1:07 am
How come they only want your wooza?
Clodfobble • Oct 26, 2006 1:23 am
SteveDallas wrote:
How did that happen? It hardly sounds complimentary.


Scopulus Argentarius wrote:
Interesting Nickname....why?


Meh... it's just the two moons of Mars. It was part of a larger conversation (similar to this one) where all the girls present were naming their boobs. I thought it was funny just because of the "two orbiting bodies" notion, but then one of the Latin-speaking girls noted that they translated as "fear" and "terror," which was just hysterical at the time. Maybe we were drunk, I don't remember. :)
DucksNuts • Oct 26, 2006 1:27 am
Aliantha wrote:
How come they only want your wooza?


They're sleaze bag men?
Aliantha • Oct 26, 2006 1:28 am
lol...Noooo! Really?
Elspode • Oct 26, 2006 5:47 pm
I have to admit that apparently, the phenomenon of naming one's naughty bits is not as widespread as I'd been led (by past experience) to imagine. Either that, or the same type of people who will take pictures of their naughty bits and post them here, or those who gleefully look at those pictures, are too chickenshit to pony up.

I'm hurt, I tell you. Hurt. Now I feel like I told everyone the name of my cock, and no one else will share. Sniff.:sniff:
lumberjim • Oct 26, 2006 6:33 pm
i could lie to you if you'd like:

I call mine Thor, cuz it's shaped like a hammer.
Sheldonrs • Oct 26, 2006 6:44 pm
I don't have a name for him but he comes when i call him. :D
DucksNuts • Oct 26, 2006 6:49 pm
Elspode wrote:
Either that, or the same type of people who will take pictures of their naughty bits and post them here, or those who gleefully look at those pictures, are too chickenshit to pony up.


Now see, with your funky accent n all, I dont know if I should be offended by that remark :eyebrow:
footfootfoot • Oct 26, 2006 7:51 pm
not original, and used in jest, but I always thought "Mr.Happy" was pretty funny, that, and "foot3 jr."

ducksnuts wrote:
I know a guy that calls his "him", it always weirds me out....I always think of the weirdo from Silence of the Lambs.

I imagine him in bed saying "You will take him in your mouth".

"IT takes Him in ITS mouth." ;)
DucksNuts • Oct 26, 2006 8:03 pm
You're a nit picky bugger foot3!!

That creeps me out even more, though!!
cjjulie • Oct 26, 2006 8:28 pm
My husband uses "Henry" for it's name and Henry likes to tickle my shmickle..:blush:
footfootfoot • Oct 26, 2006 8:31 pm
DucksNuts wrote:
You're a nit picky bugger foot3!!

You say that like it's a bad thing. :(

DucksNuts wrote:
That creeps me out even more, though!!

That's the idea. ;)
Undertoad • Oct 26, 2006 9:39 pm
cjjulie wrote:
My husband uses "Henry" for it's name and Henry likes to tickle my shmickle..:blush:


Yank the Hank!!!!

OMG I'm so sorry. I apologize.
morethanpretty • Oct 26, 2006 9:53 pm
B/F and I refer to his "it" as a he and all of mine as a she. We used to refer to him (when he was tired) as Mr. Noodle, but I had to stop that when I became a cellarite. For the obvious reason. Sometimes we've played around with naming them, but so far nothing has stuck.
JayMcGee • Oct 26, 2006 9:55 pm
Sorry. We're British and do not talk about such things.


(i call it the wandering star.....)
SteveDallas • Oct 26, 2006 11:44 pm
Well not exactly the topic at hand (so to speak), but a gf used to refer to her monthly friend as "George." (I have no idea how it started.)
glatt • Oct 27, 2006 8:59 am
I never named the little guy, but somehow my belly became my "monkey." I think it's from Sprockets. Touch it. Touch my monkey.

Also, I started naming my jackets, because I have a fleece one and a fleece lined one, and this always caused confusion. So one is my "fleece jacket" and the other is "Ralph."
DucksNuts • Oct 27, 2006 9:04 am
:eyebrow:
BigV • Oct 27, 2006 11:57 am
SteveDallas wrote:
Well not exactly the topic at hand (so to speak), but a gf used to refer to her monthly friend as "George." (I have no idea how it started.)
I/we have used the familiar shortened nickname for Florence.
barefoot serpent • Oct 27, 2006 12:09 pm
[Happy Monkey] you need to ask?[/HM]
Happy Monkey • Oct 27, 2006 1:17 pm
[SIZE=1]whistles nonchalantly...[/SIZE]
:rolleyes:
wolf • Oct 27, 2006 2:14 pm
I can't say that naming had ever actually occured to me.
Elspode • Oct 27, 2006 5:10 pm
Jeeezzzzz! You people! Use a little creativity, already! I mean, even if you haven't named your junk, isn't this the perfect opportunity to do so?

I am *sooooo* disappointed. I really expected more from this crowd. Next thing I know, ya'll are gonna be sipping tea with your pinkies sticking out and talking about the latest sale at Saks. :bitching:
Flint • Oct 27, 2006 5:12 pm
I frequently give my wife a does of "Vitamin F" - does that count?
yesman065 • Oct 27, 2006 5:13 pm
Ok meet "Frisky" and his friend of over a year "Kitty" not very original, but it is what it is. As long as the two of them are happy together, :doit: I really don't care what anyone calls anybody else.
DucksNuts • Oct 27, 2006 6:14 pm
Ok, Ok.

She shall now be known as "Woofledoo".
lumberjim • Oct 27, 2006 7:04 pm
I'm gonna call mine Elspode from now on. ;)

edit: make that Elchoad ....guffaw
Elspode • Oct 27, 2006 7:15 pm
Gosh, LJ...I'm honored. I'm also a little bit aquiver thinking where my namesake gets to spend some of his discretionary time. And I don't mean in your hand. :D
lumberjim • Oct 27, 2006 7:30 pm
D'OH!
footfootfoot • Oct 27, 2006 7:54 pm
JayMcGee wrote:
Sorry. We're British and do not talk about such things.


Which reminders me of an humorous joke:
A jank is visiting a brit and taking a tour of her house. "This is my bedroom," the brit says, "and down the end of the hall is my husband's bedroom."

"You don't sleep in the same bed? Doesn't that make having sex a little impractical?" asked the Jank.

"Not at all, if my husband is in the mood he opens his door and calls me."

"Well, that's fine for him," says the jank, "but what if you're in the mood?"

"Well, I just open mt door and say: 'Did you call me, John?'"

I admit humor is a subjective thing.
busterb • Oct 27, 2006 9:26 pm
I'll bite. Have been called, Lil willy and Lil buddy. With the emphasis on little. :smack: My last squeeze was called "Mi Gatito Dorado." Photos anyone? Not!
Elspode • Oct 27, 2006 11:11 pm
Mi Gatido Dorado? My Little Tunafish? Eewww...
wolf • Oct 28, 2006 1:03 am
My place of mystery does not need a name. That would make it much less mysterious.
Elspode • Oct 28, 2006 1:04 am
But it would make the map reference so much more accessible... :cool:
SteveDallas • Oct 28, 2006 1:06 am
A map??? Why don't you take a compass along while you're at it. Or better yet, save your pennies for GPS.
Elspode • Oct 28, 2006 1:13 am
I've got the GPS, but the software for this purpose is unbelieveably expensive.
Spexxvet • Oct 28, 2006 9:33 am
SteveDallas wrote:
A map??? Why don't you take a compass along while you're at it. Or better yet, save your pennies for GPS.

My "compass needle" always points straight to its "receptacle"
Spexxvet • Oct 28, 2006 9:33 am
wolf wrote:
My place of mystery does not need a name. That would make it much less mysterious.

Wolf's den?