Quotes and Stuff

wolf • Oct 21, 2006 10:30 pm
I know there is another thread that addresses this somewhere around here, but I can't find it right now.

Anyway, sometimes, you see a short statement that just really interests you, amuses you, makes you think, etc.

This is the one that I found yesterday:

"I wish my lawn was a 15 year old Goth chick, because then it would cut itself."
Phase • Oct 21, 2006 10:33 pm
I've heard something similar to that,

"I wish my lawn was emo, so it could cut itself."
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 12:42 pm
A bottom of the Cellar quote:

"I've discussed it with my husband, and we'll take the million."
- Marilu Henner, to Sting, on the Tonight Show 5/14/93


Does anyone know what that is referring to?
glatt • Apr 19, 2012 12:49 pm
Gotta be a reference to Indecent Proposal, that movie where Demi Moore and Woody Harelson get $1M for Demi to spend the night with Robert Redford.

Marilu wants to hop into bed with Sting.
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 12:52 pm
Oh yeah. That makes sense. :) thanks!
jimhelm • Apr 19, 2012 1:02 pm
Marilu Henner would hop into bed with anyone for free.

huge whore. trust me. i had her.
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 1:06 pm
I'd've hopped into bed with Sting for free, back in 1993.
jimhelm • Apr 19, 2012 1:19 pm
you'd do it tomorrow
SteveDallas • Apr 19, 2012 1:26 pm
Phase;277234 wrote:
I've heard something similar to that,

"I wish my lawn was emo, so it could cut itself."


Mitchell & Webb had one where the kid cut "looser" into his arm.. he felt he was worthless, could never be good enough to satisfy his parents, etc.

Since he misspelled it, his mom & dad re-cut with the correct spelling.
jimhelm • Apr 19, 2012 1:44 pm
fail kid fails at failing
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 1:56 pm
*snickersnort*
jimhelm • Apr 19, 2012 2:21 pm
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
- - -Zsa Zsa Gabor
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 2:35 pm
Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
--Mae West
Gravdigr • Apr 19, 2012 2:44 pm
Reporter to Mean Joe Green (might have been Ed Too Tall Jones): Which do you prefer, grass, or, AstroTurf?

Whichever guy it was, to the reporter: I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.
Gravdigr • Apr 19, 2012 2:45 pm
John Wayne, responding to the question "Is your hair real?":

It's real. It's not mine, but it's real.
infinite monkey • Apr 19, 2012 2:56 pm
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

--Dick Cavett
DanaC • Apr 19, 2012 6:21 pm
'...history changes all the time. It is constantly being re-examined and re-evaluated, otherwise how would we be able to keep historians occupied? We can't possibly allow people with their sort of minds to walk around with time on their hands.'

Havelock Vetinari, Jingo by Terry Pratchett
jimhelm • Apr 21, 2012 1:23 pm
FROM TFLN:

All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Gravdigr • Apr 22, 2012 11:11 am
Metaphors needn't be explained to educated people.

~Ted Nugent
Gravdigr • Apr 22, 2012 11:31 am
At Crazytown, we find a bear's butt plug, and decide to hunt it the next day.


~Andrew McKean, from "The Ex-Communist Bear Baiter of Dore Lake"/Outdoor Life, April 2012
Gravdigr • Apr 24, 2012 7:11 pm
Unacceptable things should not be accepted.


~Flint
infinite monkey • Apr 26, 2012 9:13 am
Flint's crazy.


~Brianna

:D
Sundae • Apr 26, 2012 10:59 am
David Baddiel on the Recession:
The trouble with the phrase "double dip" is I quite like the sound of it, due to association with the words "lucky" and "sherbet".
Gravdigr • May 2, 2012 3:29 pm
Damn, dude. Just damn.


~Clodfobble
Cyber Wolf • May 3, 2012 2:45 pm
DanaC;807389 wrote:
'...history changes all the time. It is constantly being re-examined and re-evaluated, otherwise how would we be able to keep historians occupied? We can't possibly allow people with their sort of minds to walk around with time on their hands.'

Havelock Vetinari, Jingo by Terry Pratchett

:thumb:

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.


Also from Jingo by Terry Pratchett, one of my favorite books in that series.
DanaC • May 3, 2012 3:40 pm
i'm almost done in my quest to reread all the discworld books in order of their various storylines.

I am now fully on board with the notion that he is a Dickens for the modern age. Rarely have I read novels with so many deep truths.
Gravdigr • May 4, 2012 11:07 am
I'm not totally certain I will get to the moon colony.


~Newt Gingrich
glatt • May 4, 2012 11:18 am
:lol2:
jimhelm • May 4, 2012 7:54 pm
blue's Signature wrote:

If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell.
Gravdigr • May 15, 2012 10:24 am
Gravdigr;773538 wrote:
Forepostage, cuz, it's like not tomorrow, so, whut I drank last night, I ain't drank last night. Yet. Ya folluh? Aw, fukkit, don't read this til tomorrow, cuz, then, this'll be last night, and it'll be later, so, I won't be early. Are ya gettin any o' this?

Vodka Jello shots is what I'm sayin.

:drunk:


~Gravdigr, Nov. 16, 2011
Gravdigr • May 20, 2012 7:53 pm
The internet was made of cats, [Al] Gore was just the pussy that started it.


~xoxoxoBruce
infinite monkey • May 21, 2012 9:03 am
The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
--Stephen King
Gravdigr • May 21, 2012 5:44 pm
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist.


~Keyser Söze
Gravdigr • May 28, 2012 10:59 am
From one of the greatest philosophical minds of our lifetime:

Dave Chappelle.

Chivalry died when women started readin' the shit in all them magazines. They got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the fuck they're talkin' about. I see them in the grocery store, says on the cover "100 Ways to Please Your Man" by some lady. Come on, man. Ain't no 100 ways. That list is four things long. Just suck his dick, play with his balls,fix him a sandwich, and don't talk so much and he'll be happy!
DanaC • May 28, 2012 11:43 am
From Michael Wood's latest tv series, looking at the history of Britain from the ordinary person's perspective,

"Remember there were black people in Britain before there were English"
Gravdigr • May 30, 2012 5:18 pm
"She saw what little good there was in me, and there was little," ... "I'm awful glad she cared about me, and I'm awful glad she married me."


~Arthel 'Doc' Watson 1923-2012
Gravdigr • Jun 9, 2012 5:12 pm
I think I might love this man:

[ATTACH]39014[/ATTACH]
Gravdigr • Jun 15, 2012 9:33 am
California is about 25 miles south of Pittsburgh.


~Associated Press
wolf • Jun 15, 2012 12:47 pm
Drug misuse is not a disease, it is a decision, like the decision to step out in front of a moving car. You would call that not a disease but an error in judgment. When a bunch of people begin to do it, it is a social error, a life-style. In this particular life-style the motto is "Be happy now because tomorrow you are dying," but the dying begins almost at once, and the happiness is a memory. It is, then, only a speeding up, an intensifying, of the ordinary human existence. It is not different from your life-style, it is only faster. It all takes place in days or weeks or months instead of years. "Take the cash and let the credit go," as Villon said in 1460. But that is a mistake if the cash is a penny and the credit a whole lifetime.

Philip K. Dick
Author's Note
A Scanner Darkly

I have had this quote pinned up on my desk since the mid-1980's, long before I worked at the nuthouse.
ZenGum • Jun 15, 2012 9:28 pm
Interesting and I think true, but it all hinges on the phrase "drug misuse".

The misuse of drugs is bad for you? Well, of course it is, that is what misuse means.
Gravdigr • Jun 18, 2012 5:34 pm
Using a pound of dope for a doorstop, now, that's misuse.
BigV • Jun 18, 2012 10:20 pm
??

why? how much dope does it take to stop a door anyhow?
classicman • Jun 18, 2012 10:58 pm
Only one nice bud if positioned properly.
Gravdigr • Jun 20, 2012 5:04 pm
BigV;815847 wrote:
??

why? how much dope does it take to stop a door anyhow?


[BritAccent]It's depending on the door, now, innit?[/BritAccent]
Gravdigr • Jun 20, 2012 5:09 pm
'The Bosom'?

[ATTACH]39159[/ATTACH]

[Size=1]from a 1967 issue of "The Tattler"[/Size]
DanaC • Jun 20, 2012 5:09 pm
Gravdigr;816004 wrote:
[BritAccent]It's depending on the door, now, innit?[/BritAccent]


Not bad. Not bad at all.
John Sellers • Jun 20, 2012 5:31 pm

What was, was, and what is is is, and this what is... is what's happening right now.


Paul Teutul Sr.
DanaC • Jun 20, 2012 5:56 pm
Call a jack a jack. Call a spade a spade. But always call a whore a lady. Their lives are hard enough, and it never hurts to be polite.

Kvothe's father (from The Name of the Wind)
John Sellers • Jun 20, 2012 6:10 pm

They say time is the fire in which we burn.


Dr. Tolian Soran - Star Trek: Generations
BigV • Jun 20, 2012 10:08 pm
"Well, I have learned one thing through the years; it's best not to joust with a woman verbally. Women have a better grasp of the languange than men. There are no synonyms in a woman's vocabulary. Every word has its own shade of meaning. 'I didn't say I was mad; I said I was upset. Maybe you should listen.'"
- Jeff Stilson


thank you cellar cookie jar.
classicman • Jun 21, 2012 12:10 am
in a woman's vocabulary. Every word has its own shade of meaning.

Wow - so very true.
DanaC • Jun 21, 2012 6:16 am
And yet...also so true of men. In a person's vocabulary, every word has its own shade of meaning.
BigV • Jun 21, 2012 8:28 pm
Yes, dear.
classicman • Jun 21, 2012 8:39 pm
Yes, dear!
BigV • Jun 21, 2012 8:51 pm
same thing.




to us guys.
John Sellers • Jun 21, 2012 10:57 pm

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.


Samuel Goldwyn
DanaC • Jun 22, 2012 6:23 am
Ha! I like that.
DanaC • Jun 22, 2012 6:24 am
BigV;816247 wrote:
same thing.




to us guys.


Har har :p


I remember my Dad could imbue the word 'love' (as in, 'pass me that love', or 'listen love...') with an array of meanings with a slight difference in tone.
ZenGum • Jun 22, 2012 7:31 am
"You bastard" can be anything from a friendly greeting to a declaration of war, depending on tone and context.
DanaC • Jun 22, 2012 7:57 am
Yeah. Similar here. Bastard can be a term of abuse or a friendly term.
John Sellers • Jun 23, 2012 12:37 am

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If you don't take it out and use it, it's going to rust.


General Katana - Highlander II: The Quickening
Gravdigr • Jun 23, 2012 6:16 pm
[ATTACH]39201[/ATTACH]

:lol2:
DanaC • Jun 23, 2012 6:38 pm
Watching the news from Egypt earlier, then happened across this quote on some random site:

Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes. ~ Terry Pratchett
classicman • Jun 23, 2012 10:38 pm
If every Islamist was disarmed today there would be peace,
if every Jew were disarmed there would be genocide.
John Sellers • Jun 24, 2012 1:24 am
classicman;816612 wrote:
If every Islamist was disarmed today there would be peace


You don't say who said this, so I'll have to assume this rather racist comment is yours.
John Sellers • Jun 24, 2012 1:30 am

Actually, in its purest form, Islam is incredibly tolerant. That makes what's going on in the world really bizarre.


Steve Earle
John Sellers • Jun 24, 2012 2:25 am

I consider myself a spiritual person, I'm a real thinker. I think answers to life are simple-just enjoy it as much as possible.


Dr. Mayim Bialik
infinite monkey • Jun 24, 2012 6:52 am
When the blue dog becomes encased in gold and lillies, the people shall rejoice and eat a hamburger with cheddar cheese.

Milton R Smelton
DanaC • Jun 24, 2012 7:53 am
classicman;816612 wrote:
If every Islamist was disarmed today there would be peace,
if every Jew were disarmed there would be genocide.


That's a horrible quote. Not to mention ridiculous and untrue.
classicman • Jun 24, 2012 11:44 am
John R. Sellers;816623 wrote:
You don't say who said this, so I'll have to assume this rather racist comment is yours.

You would be incorrect. I didn't quote the person whom I read it from because he said it wasn't his quote. He had heard it from someone else.
If it makes you feel better, please add "Unknown" below it.
Gravdigr • Jun 24, 2012 6:59 pm
It
_________

"Unknown"



I feel better, now.

:p:
DanaC • Jun 24, 2012 7:00 pm
hahahahahah

Fuck. Grav's on a roll this week.
John Sellers • Jun 24, 2012 10:45 pm
classicman;816678 wrote:
You would be incorrect. I didn't quote the person whom I read it from because he said it wasn't his quote. He had heard it from someone else.
If it makes you feel better, please add "Unknown" below it.



Well, since it wasn't your quote, I withdraw my assumption. Anyway, you'll have to add the "Unknown". I can't edit your post as I'm not a moderator.
classicman • Jun 24, 2012 11:33 pm
neither can I after a certain amount of time - THAT was part of the joke.
John Sellers • Jun 25, 2012 1:16 am
classicman;816798 wrote:
neither can I after a certain amount of time - THAT was part of the joke.


I'll admit, sometimes I can't tell if someone on the net's joking or not, but that's what emoticons are for.
classicman • Jun 25, 2012 1:43 am
:eyebrow: :cool:
Gravdigr • Jun 25, 2012 5:10 pm
"Bush was president, I thought, 'Be brave. Tie a bomb to your shirt. Insist on going to the White House. And I want to have a big hug with the vice president, definitely. And his wife, and the president, and his wife, and anybody else that can fit into the love hug,'"


"And then we'll blow ourselves up, and I'd be a hero,"


"It would have been a very brave and wonderful thing,"


On Newt Gingrich:

"an idiot of great renown."

"There is something so hopelessly gross and vile about him that it's hard to take him seriously,"


"I hate people,"


All ~Maurice Sendak
Gravdigr • Jun 25, 2012 5:12 pm
Wow.
Gravdigr • Jun 29, 2012 3:52 pm
"There's so much sand in these bunkers. There's just a lot of sand in them."


~Tiger Woods
John Sellers • Jun 30, 2012 6:03 am

One should as a rule respect public opinion in so far as is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways.


Bertrand Russell, Conquest of Happiness (1930) ch. 9
Gravdigr • Jul 3, 2012 7:10 pm
"Few people in this world will ever have more influence on our lives than Andy Griffith. An actor who never looked like he was acting, a moral compass who saved as many souls as most preachers, and an entertainer who put smiles on more faces than almost anyone; this was as successful a life as is pretty much possible."


~Brad Paisley
Gravdigr • Jul 4, 2012 3:29 pm
Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!


~ President Thomas Whitmore (from "Independence Day")
xoxoxoBruce • Jul 5, 2012 12:16 am
What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere.
Inception
infinite monkey • Jul 5, 2012 9:45 am
Gravdigr;818384 wrote:
~Brad Paisley


I'm a noted Hatin' Hats and Fluff Country Music person. However, I do realize there is some talent scattered amongst the crap.

I don't really have much of an opinion of Brad except that my friends had me watch the Waitin' on a Woman video with Andy Griffith and I thought it was so sweet. Made me teary. Brad had due respect for a great man, and you can see it in his face. Good on you, Brad.
John Sellers • Jul 5, 2012 3:21 pm

If one does not climb tall mountains, one cannot view the plains.


Chinese Proverb
DanaC • Jul 5, 2012 3:34 pm
I like that.
Gravdigr • Jul 5, 2012 4:21 pm
infinite monkey;818582 wrote:
I don't really have much of an opinion of Brad except that my friends had me watch the Waitin' on a Woman video with Andy Griffith and I thought it was so sweet. Made me teary. Brad had due respect for a great man, and you can see it in his face. Good on you, Brad.


I don't like country music as a rule. But, now, Mr. Brad Paisley is one guitar picking mofo, when he wants to be. Having said that, I don't like the majority of his music.
John Sellers • Jul 6, 2012 6:22 pm
DanaC;818619 wrote:
I like that.


Ok, try this one:


You can't see the forest for the trees.
You can't smell the shit on your knees!


Marilyn Manson; The Beautiful People
Gravdigr • Jul 8, 2012 6:26 pm
A single byte of data is not a full meal...


~ Pete Zicato
jimhelm • Jul 9, 2012 11:46 am
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat.



•spoken in to my phone
John Sellers • Jul 9, 2012 11:58 am
jimhelm;819138 wrote:
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat.



•spoken in to my phone


It was me. NUWAHAHAHA!
Lamplighter • Jul 9, 2012 1:02 pm
A computer store in La Grand, OR is named: ByteMe
BigV • Jul 10, 2012 12:43 pm
several posters wrote:
Brad Paisley this and Brad Paisley that....

whatever.


infi, thanks for the tip about the video, here's it is for others like me who hadn't seen it.

[YOUTUBE]M-C-IbkuNWs[/YOUTUBE]

I will say this, Mr Paisley won my heart and my respect with this song,

[YOUTUBE]BjO1F6oCab8[/YOUTUBE]

I've commented before on this song in the lyrics with meaning thread. And these most lyrics most definitely have meaning for me. Thank you Mr Paisley.
John Sellers • Jul 10, 2012 3:36 pm

It's not true that life is one damn thing after another; it is one damn thing over and over.


Edna St. Vincent Millay, US poet (1892 - 1950)
Gravdigr • Jul 11, 2012 6:12 pm
That may well be the truest things I've ever read.
Gravdigr • Jul 11, 2012 6:14 pm
Silence is a source of great strength.


~ Lao Tzu
Gravdigr • Jul 11, 2012 6:22 pm
Just read "20 Great Hunter S. Thompson Quotes", by Brian Fairbanks, over at Trutv.com.

Here are some of the better ones:

"There was one exact moment, in fact, when I knew for sure that Al Gore would never be President of the United States, no matter what the experts were saying -- and that was when the whole Bush family suddenly appeared on TV and openly scoffed at the idea of Gore winning Florida. The old man was the real tip-off. The leer on his face was almost frightening. It was like looking into the eyes of a tall hyena with a living sheep in its mouth. The sheep's fate was sealed, and so was Al Gore's."


"The towers are gone now, reduced to bloody rubble, along with all hopes for Peace in Our Time, in the United States or any other country. Make no mistake about it: We are At War now with somebody and we will stay At War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives."


"Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it."


"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."


All ~Hunter S. Thompson
infinite monkey • Jul 12, 2012 9:19 am
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
--Bertrand Russell

• spoken out of my ass
infinite monkey • Jul 12, 2012 9:22 am
Where's the 'and stuff' part of this thread?

(looks behind couch)

Hmmmmm.

• spoken out of my ass
jimhelm • Jul 12, 2012 10:41 am
infinite monkey;819677 wrote:


• spoken out of my ass


[YOUTUBE]6DrRE1LDY_U&start=3[/YOUTUBE]
Gravdigr • Jul 12, 2012 5:49 pm
Oh shit...Tone Loc!?




• sang quietly to myself
Gravdigr • Jul 21, 2012 6:38 pm
"We are going to rescue 70 American prisoners of war, maybe more, from a camp called Son Tay. This is something American prisoners have a right to expect from their fellow Soldiers."


(comments to the rescuers just before Operation Kingpin)

~Colonel Arthur D. "Bull" Simons
Gravdigr • Jul 23, 2012 4:33 pm
"Let them kill, skin, and sell until the buffalo is exterminated, as it is the only way to bring lasting peace and allow civilization to advance."


~General Philip Sheridan
DanaC • Jul 23, 2012 4:34 pm
Wow. The things we've done.
John Sellers • Jul 24, 2012 3:27 am

The difference between stupid and dumb is, dumb is not knowing any better; stupid is knowing better, but doing it anyway.


Pamela Brewer
Gravdigr • Jul 25, 2012 2:52 pm
"A man's got to leave his mark. Something to prove that he's been here. Otherwise, there ain't no sense in showing up at all."


~George Jefferson
Gravdigr • Jul 25, 2012 2:54 pm
infinite monkey;819677 wrote:
Where's the 'and stuff' part of this thread?


[ATTACH]39841[/ATTACH]
John Sellers • Jul 25, 2012 3:32 pm

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.


Oscar Wilde
classicman • Jul 25, 2012 9:41 pm
Without nipples, breasts are pointless.
Gravdigr • Jul 26, 2012 5:31 pm
:lol2:
Gravdigr • Aug 5, 2012 3:17 pm
In 1780 British Army Major Patrick Ferguson (a Scot, btw) in command of American Loyalists, decided, unwisely, to await reinforcements atop King's Mountain. He felt safe because he held the high ground. Of his decision and position, he declared:

“God Almighty can’t get me off this mountain.”


He was right. He's still there today.

American Patriots had traveled through the night, in a downpour, and arrived at Ferguson's position about noon. The Battle of King's Mountain began at about 4 pm and lasted 65 minutes.

From Wikipedia:

His corpse was found with eight musket holes in his body. The Patriots then stripped it of its clothes and urinated on it. He was buried near the site of his fall. It was claimed – according to Patriot accounts – that his corpse was ill-used before burial in an oxhide.
John Sellers • Aug 5, 2012 3:38 pm

ONE sin minor and my life is a living black hole!


Zenon Kar; Zenon: Girl Of The 21st Century
John Sellers • Aug 5, 2012 3:41 pm

Teriffic. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.


Alex Rogan; The Last Starfighter
Gravdigr • Aug 6, 2012 3:47 pm
"Shalane Flanagan there, unable to stand. Isn't that great?"


~Tim Hutchings
Gravdigr • Aug 7, 2012 5:01 pm
"We were hoping for lung cancer."


~Wolf
John Sellers • Aug 8, 2012 1:44 am

DONKEY!


Gabriel Iglesias
John Sellers • Aug 21, 2012 12:20 am
Favorite Machete quotes:
[LIST]
[*]Padre Benito del Toro (to Machete): I absolve you of all your sins. Now, get the fuck out!
[*]Machete: Machete don't text.
[*]Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!
[*]Sartana: Well, there's the law and there's what's right. I'm gonna do what's right.
[*]Padre Benito del Toro (to a henchman he's about to kill): God has mercy. I don't!
[*]Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory.
[/LIST]
Gravdigr • Aug 30, 2012 10:51 am
"Looking cool is the easiest way to mediocrity. The coolest guy in my high school ended up working at a car wash. Once you push yourself into something new, a whole new world of opportunities opens up."


"Embrace failure. Never, never quit. Get very comfortable with that uneasy feeling of going against the grain and trying something new. It will constantly take you places you never thought you could go. This has been my mantra for years."


~Terry Crews
Gravdigr • Aug 31, 2012 5:16 pm
“We should sink Todd Akin...if he’s found mysteriously murdered, don’t look for my whereabouts!”


~Karl Rove
Gravdigr • Sep 11, 2012 3:08 pm
"The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat."


~Beavis
jimhelm • Sep 21, 2012 10:55 am
#7 is the one I wanted to quote... but the whole list is fookin true

[ATTACH]40774[/ATTACH]
Gravdigr • Sep 21, 2012 3:37 pm
I was watching TV at Baby's the other night, and her youngest daughter (~23) was there. Some blurb about gov't getting in her business prompted her (daughter) to utter this jewel:

I don't know much about gov't, or politics, but, I'm pretty sure they need to stay out of my vagina.
xoxoxoBruce • Sep 24, 2012 11:23 pm
A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved.
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]They're neither warped nor evil at heart.
[COLOR="white"]...[/COLOR]They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities.

They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy.
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . .

They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . .

Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease.

They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness.
[COLOR="white"]...[/COLOR]Their awareness is a curse.

Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message:
[COLOR="White"]...[/COLOR]They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology.
[COLOR="white"]...[/COLOR]They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee.
[COLOR="white"]...[/COLOR]Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor.
- JON WINOKUR


Now get off the fucking lawn.
BigV • Sep 25, 2012 11:40 pm
xoxoxoBruce;818535 wrote:
Inception


How can you tell how many ideas have been forgotten? How can you know this is the most successful parasite when we can only count the successes?
BigV • Sep 25, 2012 11:42 pm
jimhelm;831219 wrote:
#7 is the one I wanted to quote... but the whole list is fookin true

[ATTACH]40774[/ATTACH]


OUTSTANDING SIR!
xoxoxoBruce • Sep 26, 2012 2:19 pm
BigV;831809 wrote:
How can you tell how many ideas have been forgotten? How can you know this is the most successful parasite when we can only count the successes?
If it was good, it won't be forgotten, and can't be killed.
Gravdigr • Sep 29, 2012 2:46 pm
On Theodore Roosevelt:

"Look at that magnificent bastard up there. It's like somebody crossbred a walrus with the spirit of war."


~Robert Brockway @ cracked.com
Gravdigr • Oct 31, 2012 4:23 pm
"My advice is, post unto others as you would have them post unto you."


~Undertoad 10/31/12
infinite monkey • Nov 1, 2012 1:35 pm
.
Gravdigr • Nov 5, 2012 5:33 pm
"We spend the first year teaching them to walk and to talk, and then spend the rest of their lives telling them to shut up and sit down, and that's not what being a kid should be."


~Neil deGrasse Tyson
BigV • Nov 5, 2012 5:41 pm
Word.
Gravdigr • Nov 7, 2012 1:43 pm
"Colorado will no longer have laws that steer people toward using alcohol, and adults will be free to use marijuana instead if that is what they prefer. And we will be better off as a society because of it."


~Mason Tvert, co-director of the Colorado pro-legalization campaign
Gravdigr • Feb 7, 2013 1:41 pm
Paraphrasing:

If dogs can do it, you can watch it. Cats aren't like that. Cats are like Baptists. You know they raise hell, you just can't catch 'em at it.


While all the other guys were off practicing football, I was at home, practicing the guitar. And it paid off, too.

I can kick this guitar sixty yards.


~Jim Stafford
monster • Mar 26, 2013 8:28 am
saw this in IM's Sig. From Maybell C apparently.

Swans should never despair over ducks not liking them.

exactly. it's a shame it's so hard for so many swans to get past having been an ugly duckling. We need to improve our cygnet pride fostering skills
Gravdigr • Apr 9, 2013 2:46 pm
"Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."


~Margaret Thatcher
Ocean's Edge • Apr 10, 2013 12:29 pm
Brought to mind by another thread, but didn't want to intrude on anyone's grief..

From a different tavern in a different time and a different place, but still no less a truism
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased — thus do we refute entropy
Gravdigr • Apr 19, 2013 12:10 pm
"More things are never tried because they are impossible than are tried because people believe in them." She reached for her stick to stir the fire. "And what kind of world would we have if people believed in the impossible? Think of what we could do. Now, there's a Dream for you."


~ White Calf in "People of the Fire" by W. Michael Gear & Kathleen O'Neal Gear
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 24, 2013 2:36 pm
"The old scholar was watching the noisy young people around him and it suddenly occurred to him that he was the only one in the whole audience who had the privilege of freedom, for he was old. Only when a person reaches old age can he stop caring about the opinions of his fellows, or of the public, or of the future. He is alone with approaching death and death has no ears and does not need to be pleased. In the face of death a man an do and say what pleases his own self."
--Milan Kundera, from "Life is Elsewhere"
Gravdigr • Aug 2, 2013 4:51 pm
Mmm, mmm. You smell like the inside of my mama's purse.


~Family Guy
limegreenc • Aug 2, 2013 6:24 pm
or your grandmas' bra...
Old Bunyip • Aug 2, 2013 7:33 pm
Only when a person reaches old age can he stop caring about the opinions of his fellows, or of the public,



"When I was 20 I worried about what people thought about me.
When I was 40 I couldn't care what they thought of me.
Now I am 60 and I realize they were not thinking about me at all."

Just a joke, but has its own wisdom
BigV • Aug 3, 2013 10:20 am
Welcome to the cellar Old Bunyip!
Old Bunyip • Aug 3, 2013 7:07 pm
Thank you Big V.
I think I have lurked long enough.
I like your Marcus Aurelius signature, too.
BigV • Aug 3, 2013 9:17 pm
:-)

Thanks for your kind words about my signature, I try to live up to it each day; I confess I am confused a bit about your signature. I find trust to be a necessary part of love. I don't think I can love anyone I don't trust. The converse is true of course, there are many I trust but do not love.

Lastly, I am happy to have you paddle while I steer. :D
Old Bunyip • Aug 3, 2013 10:23 pm
Now you are getting tricky, Big V!
I have had a pretty rugged life where many people who loved me (and I loved) let me down. Proved not worthy of my trust but I loved them for what they were. They did what they thought was best.
Now I try to love or have compassion for "many" but am aware that only "few" are really trustworthy in regard to me.
Hence the "paddling of my own canoe" = I go my own way, not someone else's.
Which means, kind Sir, if you came aboard,you would paddle while I would steer
;)
Clodfobble • Aug 4, 2013 9:38 am
I'm with Bunyip--there are plenty of people whom I love and accept as flawed individuals, but that doesn't mean that they have my own best interests at heart as well. I don't trust them to do the right thing in certain situations, or maybe even any situation, but I love them nonetheless.
Flint • Aug 4, 2013 10:19 am

Love many. Trust few.
Always paddle your own canoe
I couldn't agree more, and couldn't have said it better.
xoxoxoBruce • Aug 10, 2013 9:42 pm
It's not personal...
Flint • Aug 11, 2013 2:46 am
The Great Society asks not how much, but how good;
not only how to create wealth but how to use it;
not only how fast we are going but where we are headed.
--Texas Native, Lyndon Baines Johnson, "LBJ"


[SIZE="1"]He is one of only four people who served in all four elected federal offices of the United States: Representative, Senator, Vice President, and President.[/SIZE]
Gravdigr • Aug 20, 2013 5:28 pm
My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.


~Hugh Leonard
Flint • Aug 20, 2013 6:43 pm
Gravdigr;873866 wrote:
My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.
~Hugh Leonard


Some hang on to used to be
Live their lives looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives, out there to find


'Up Where We Belong' --Jennings/Nitzsche/Sainte-Marie
Gravdigr • Aug 30, 2013 12:48 pm
Make your life, don't wait for it.


~Gravdigr
Gravdigr • Sep 27, 2013 2:52 pm
Nothing is over, until you choose to give up.


~Richard Phillips, Capt. of the Maersk Alabama, which was hijacked by Somali pirates April 2009 - in Sept. 22 issue of Parade magazine



ETA: Here's a link to the Parade Magazine mini-interview w/Richard Phillips & Tom Hanks, who plays Phillips in the film "Captain Phillips".

It's a decent read.
limegreenc • Sep 27, 2013 10:05 pm
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
xoxoxoBruce • Sep 28, 2013 12:10 am
Nietzsche never saw me dance. xoxoxoBruce
Gravdigr • Nov 21, 2013 12:19 pm
We are always the same age inside.


~Gertrude Stein


I find this to be true, in my case. Even today, I still feel like I am 20-ish. Not physically, by any means, not even emotionally. Would that be spiritually, then?
glatt • Nov 21, 2013 12:22 pm
You feel 20? Old man.

I still feel like I'm 9.
Gravdigr • Dec 13, 2013 3:25 pm
"I love my fans and have devoted my life to reaching out to them. I appreciate their support all these years and I hope I haven't let them down. I am at peace. I love Jesus. I'm going to be just fine. Don't worry about me. I'll see you again one day."


~Ray Price

Ray Price -- one of the most beloved country performers of all time -- has decided to end aggressive treatments for his long battle of pancreatic cancer, electing to return to his home [Mount Pleasant, Texas] under hospice care than stay in the hospital.


~Billboard
Gravdigr • Jan 16, 2014 4:21 pm
He died three days later. When the man was done, he was done.

I admire that.
Gravdigr • Jan 31, 2014 1:02 pm
A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.


~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
Gravdigr • Jan 31, 2014 6:44 pm
According to a 2011 survey by Travelodge, about 35 percent of British adults still sleep with a teddy bear.


~ Wikipedia article on 'Comfort Object'
footfootfoot • Feb 4, 2014 6:04 pm
Gravdigr;891672 wrote:
~ Wikipedia article on 'Comfort Object'



We're just good friends!
That bear lies!
Gravdigr • Feb 10, 2014 12:28 pm
"(Only) if everybody else stayed home."


~Richard Petty (upon being asked if Danica Patrick will ever win a NASCAR Cup race)
Gravdigr • Mar 6, 2014 12:46 pm
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.


~Charles Dickens
DanaC • Mar 6, 2014 1:12 pm
Oh that's lovely.
Gravdigr • Mar 13, 2014 3:16 pm
"One of the most disappointing regrets of my career is not having the Medal of Honor awarded to the most outstanding soldier I've ever had the privilege of commanding."


~Maj. Gen. Lloyd B. Ramsey (U.S. Army, retired), speaking (in an affidavit) of the late Lt. Garlin Murl Conner, Clinton County, KY, the second-most highly decorated soldier of World War II*, who, it appears, will not be receiving the Medal Honor, due to a filing technicality.:mad:

*[SIZE="1"]The most highly decorated being Audie Murphy.[/SIZE]
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 13, 2014 5:21 pm
Bummer, but He doesn't care now.

And the people who claim they're doing it for him, where've you been for 70 years? Day late and a dollar short, people, what did you do for him when he was alive? Take him to a ball game, or feed the ducks at the park, maybe just sit and talk to him. He was 79 and in poor health when he died, I'm sure he could have used some company the last year or three.
Gravdigr • Mar 13, 2014 5:31 pm
His wife has been working on this for 17 years. She didn't know there was a statute of limitations on it. And as far as 'company the last year or three', nowhere does it say he died alone or lonely.

Also: Regarding "he doesn't care now", I seriously doubt Conner was the kind of man who would've worried about a medal.

I have to admit to being a little baffled by the perceived tone of Bruce's post. Perhaps I've inadvertently struck a nerve...
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 13, 2014 11:35 pm
Reading about this guy, and all the shit he did, I think he got short changed, but didn't strike me as the type of guy that felt entitled to the CM or resented not getting it. Now he's dead so he doesn't care either way.

His wife has been working on this for 17 years.

Sure, a good [strike]ewe[/strike] wife will do that you know.
17 years... wonder why? Did he ask her to? For him? For her? Doing it out of love? Perceived obligation?

Two military historians dug into it, talked to witnesses, are thoroughly convinced the man deserved it. But back in the day he pissed somebody off, or they decided he had enough medals, or they were busy trying to get home. Out of sight out of mind, war's over, let's get on with life.

You can, however, bet the farm, when this stuff makes the news the politicians will be front and center smiling for the camera and shaking his hand off. And Ramsey, how did he help besides dictating a glowing appraisal?

I've seen so many of these WW II vets struggle with health issues for their last few years. They get isolated for lack of mobility, friends are dropping like flies, and the TV becomes their companion. Then they die and people who hadn't given them a thought come out of the woodwork singing hosannas.

I certainly don't want you to think I have anything against Conner, far from it. He was a hero in the finest sense of the word, and got shortchanged. But the people rushing to "honor" him, make me wonder what their motive is? How will what they are doing to "honor" him, help them? :eyebrow:
wanderer • Mar 14, 2014 6:27 am
Moo may represent an idea, but only the cow knows.

- Mason Cooley
DanaC • Mar 15, 2014 4:16 pm
I could fill a page with quotes from the late, great Tony Benn. They just don't make them like that any more.

The Guardian's been putting together favourite Benn quotes, here's a couple:

7) “Hope is the fuel of progress and fear is the prison in which you put yourself”

Tony Benn thought any meaningful change could only come from below, and felt apathy was openly encouraged by those in positions of power. “The Prime Minister said in 1911, 14 years before I was born, that if women get the vote it will undermine parliamentary democracy. How did apartheid end? How did anything happen?”



6) “I think there are two ways in which people are controlled. First of all frighten people and secondly, demoralise them.”

Another quote from Tony Benn’s interview with Michael Moore in Sicko, in which he highlighted poverty and healthcare inequality as a democratic issue. “The people in debt become hopeless, and the hopeless people don’t vote... an educated, healthy and confident nation is harder to govern,” he said.


9) “There is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons.”

After his retirement from parliament, Benn became the public face of the Stop the War coalition. In a particularly spiky edition of BBC Question Time, his exchanges with US Republican John Bolton included this broadside:

I was born about a quarter of a mile from where we are sitting now and I was here in London during the Blitz. And every night I went down into the shelter. 500 people killed, my brother was killed, my friends were killed. And when the Charter of the UN was read to me, I was a pilot coming home in a troop ship: ‘We the peoples of the United Nations determined to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, which twice in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow to mankind.’ That was the pledge my generation gave to the younger generation and you tore it up. And it’s a war crime that’s been committed in Iraq, because there is no moral difference between a stealth bomber and a suicide bomber. Both kill innocent people for political reasons.



From elsewhere:

"When you think of the number of men in the world who hate each other, why, when two men love each other, does the church split?"

On equal marriage and the Church of England.
Sundae • Mar 15, 2014 4:51 pm
I admired and even venerated Tony Benn for as long as I've been politically aware.
Of course there were views he held which I didn't; and he never set himself up as some sort of guru that would have demanded it. In fact he would have been revolted by it.

But I have to say in later years it was the way he tied an anti-war message with terrorism which conflicted my views with his.

I can't pull rank. He lived through the Blitz, and through The Troubles.

So if he really felt that Western intervention in Iraq was the reason for Muslims to kill each other, or go overseas and kill civilians (the way the IRA killed other Christians) then I might be missing something.

I'll never deny his was a powerful voice though.
And the world need more like him.
Born privileged, privately and expensively educated.
DanaC • Mar 15, 2014 5:15 pm
Oh, I disagreed with Benn on lots of things. His stance on Europe, for one.
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 15, 2014 5:37 pm
DanaC;894739 wrote:
I could fill a page with quotes from the late, great Tony Benn.


The other day I was impressed with...
In the course of my life I have developed five little democratic questions. If one meets a powerful person--Adolf Hitler, Joe Stalin or Bill Gates--ask them five questions:
“What power have you got?
Where did you get it from?
In whose interests do you exercise it?
To whom are you accountable?
And how can we get rid of you?”
If you cannot get rid of the people who govern you, you do not live in a democratic system.
Sundae • Mar 15, 2014 5:42 pm
Born privileged, privately and expensively educated

That was supposed to have a smiley; to comment on where and when and what situation he was born in is completely unfair.

But, yes,
The man dedicated his life to working in politics outside of the strictures of Westminster, which was why he never was all that successful inside it.
If'n you call making a Minister, even a Shadow Minister unsuccessful.

Every interview I've heard, from Red Ken, Degsy and many others on the other side of the political spectrum, they've said they may not have agreed with him on everything. But they got to meet the man, and talk to him, be charmed by him, drink tea with him. And I envy them that.
Clodfobble • Mar 16, 2014 8:33 am
Sundae wrote:
So if he really felt that Western intervention in Iraq was the reason for Muslims to kill each other, or go overseas and kill civilians (the way the IRA killed other Christians) then I might be missing something.


I wasn't very familiar with the guy, and he may have said other things to indicate he believed this... but based on the quotes above, I got the impression that he wasn't saying we caused their behavior, just that we were no better than them.
Griff • Mar 16, 2014 8:45 am
Sounds like a sharp mind, I guess he bears further reading.
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 18, 2014 2:00 am
“Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises and develops the germ of every other. War is the parent of armies; from these proceed debts and taxes; and armies, and debts, and taxes are the known instruments for bringing the many under the domination of the few.

In war, too, the discretionary power of the Executive is extended; its influence in dealing out offices, honors, and emoluments is multiplied; and all the means of seducing the minds, are added to those of subduing the force, of the people. The same malignant aspect in republicanism may be traced in the inequality of fortunes, and the opportunities of fraud, growing out of a state of war, and in the degeneracy of manners and of morals engendered by both.

No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare,”

– James Madison, “Political Observations” from Letters and Other Writings.
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 19, 2014 12:17 am
Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter-faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn.

To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.

Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It’s healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I’ve worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold.

Oh, I’ll accomodate them, I’ll rummage around for something to feed them, for a ‘vegetarian plate’, if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine.

Anthony Bourdain
:haha:
Gravdigr • Mar 20, 2014 3:56 pm
Bravo, Mr. Bourdain.
Gravdigr • Mar 20, 2014 4:00 pm
The erosion of liberty is simple when the people applaud as their rights are violated.


The reality is that crisis situations are exactly the times when individual liberties are most vulnerable and needing to be defended. These are also the most challenging and unpopular times to defend civil rights, as swathes of fearful people clamor for the government to keep them safe. The folly of letting the government pick and choose when it [Strike]must[/Strike] may follow the constitution should be obvious, however. To keep our rights intact we must refuse to accept these mass suspensions of the constitution for an increasingly wide variety of excuses.


~PSUSA, here
BigV • Mar 21, 2014 10:21 am
Yeah, that's fucked up. It reminds me of the manhunt and searching immediately following the explosions at the Boston marathon. Not the same as hot pursuit.
Gravdigr • Mar 25, 2014 4:30 pm
To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them.


~George Mason
Gravdigr • Apr 8, 2014 12:08 pm
If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.


~Thomas Edison
busterb • Apr 9, 2014 12:12 pm
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Alva Edison
DanaC • Apr 9, 2014 2:07 pm
Justice is blind. But only in one eye - Jon Stewart, Daily Show
Gravdigr • Apr 11, 2014 12:58 pm
Marines don’t run around asking about compensation, retirement modernization. That’s not on their mind. As I talk to thousands of audiences, they want to know onto whose neck do we put a boot next...


~Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps Micheal P. Barrett, testifying before Senate Armed Services Committee


[Size=1]'Micheal' is not a misspelling, btw[/Size]
Sundae • Apr 11, 2014 2:12 pm
Gravdigr;896573 wrote:

[Size=1]'Micheal' is not a misspelling, btw[/Size]

It is. Just not by you.
Gravdigr • Apr 11, 2014 2:23 pm
I thought the same. Everywhere I went (3 sites) the man's name was spelt that way.

Plus, he's the Sgt. Maj. of the Marine Corps, who's gonna correct him, the Commandant?
Sundae • Apr 11, 2014 2:37 pm
It's The Emperors New Name :lol:
DanaC • Apr 11, 2014 3:46 pm
Sundae;896598 wrote:
It's The Emperors New Name :lol:


Hahaha. Clever cow :p
xoxoxoBruce • Apr 11, 2014 6:53 pm
Sundae;896588 wrote:
It is. Just not by you.

Just furiners. :p:
busterb • Apr 11, 2014 9:03 pm
Yeah, there comes a point, maybe an age, when the long term effects of all this crap is of little concern.
Might as well,
never can tell,
when I'll smell,
the brimstone of hell.
xobruce, I guess
Gravdigr • Apr 24, 2014 4:55 pm
[ATTACH]47463[/ATTACH]
BigV • May 1, 2014 8:18 pm
the generic term is "pervertable", a noun.
DanaC • May 2, 2014 4:53 pm
Saw this in a comment posted under an article about Abortion. Fucking hell, Carlin is awesome.

"They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.

Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach "military age". Then they think you are just fine. Just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life... pro-life... These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What, they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it'They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They're anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don't like them. They don't like women.They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state."

George Carlin
Gravdigr • May 5, 2014 7:13 pm
[ATTACH]47586[/ATTACH]
Gravdigr • May 7, 2014 5:05 pm
Tommy Lasorda, if it's on his mind, it's out his mouth. The guy don't pull his punches.

Case in point, speaking on the Donald Sterling/V. Stiviano situation:

I’ve been a friend of that guy’s for 30 years. It doesn’t surprise me that he said those things. That doesn’t surprise me. And he shouldn’t have said it, and he just hurt himself by talking too much and doing things that he shouldn’t be doing.

And I don’t wish that girl any bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car.


~Tommy Lasorda, quoted by WPBF in West Palm Beach, Florida
xoxoxoBruce • May 7, 2014 11:51 pm
Lasorda was a good friend of my father-in-law's. That's definitely him. :lol:
Gravdigr • May 10, 2014 5:02 pm
Stay up, pray up, and don’t give up till you go up!


~Cleo, commenter on the 'Frog in a Blender' whateverthehellitwas
Gravdigr • May 16, 2014 11:55 am
I believe I did use the 'N' word in reference to the current occupant of the Whitehouse. For this, I do not apologize — he meets and exceeds my criteria for such.


Robert Copeland, 82, in a recent e-mail to his fellow Wolfeboro, NH police commissioners
DanaC • May 16, 2014 12:07 pm
I think that's disgraceful.
Gravdigr • May 16, 2014 2:45 pm
Prolly not his finest moment.
DanaC • May 16, 2014 2:58 pm
Also: I missed the condom one til just now. Ha!
Gravdigr • May 20, 2014 6:35 pm
Mr. Copeland has resigned.
Gravdigr • Jun 10, 2014 2:11 pm
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.


~Goethe
Gravdigr • Jun 30, 2014 5:50 pm
Never trust a skinny cook.


Could be worse, could be raining.


...darker than the inside of a cow.


~Late Grandmadigr
Gravdigr • Jul 2, 2014 11:58 am
[ATTACH]48393[/ATTACH]
Gravdigr • Aug 4, 2014 9:55 am
Take a chance, while you still got the choice.


~Bon Scott, lyric from 'Rock & Roll Damnation' by AC/DC
Gravdigr • Sep 29, 2014 6:37 pm
I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I will kill you all.


~Gen. James Mattis, USMC (Ret.)

After the invasion of Iraq -and after sending his tanks and artillery home- Mattis sent this message to the Iraqi leaders in every area his men served in.


~Wikiquote quote
Gravdigr • Sep 29, 2014 6:47 pm
Two more by Gen. Mattis, I love this guy:

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.


~One of the rules Mattis gave his Marines to live by in Iraq.
_______________________________________________

For decades, Saddam Hussein has tortured, imprisoned, raped and murdered the Iraqi people; invaded neighboring countries without provocation; and threatened the world with weapons of mass destruction. The time has come to end his reign of terror. On your young shoulders rest the hopes of mankind. When I give you the word, together we will cross the Line of Departure, close with those forces that choose to fight, and destroy them. Our fight is not with the Iraqi people, nor is it with members of the Iraqi army who choose to surrender. While we will move swiftly and aggressively against those who resist, we will treat all others with decency, demonstrating chivalry and soldierly compassion for people who have endured a lifetime under Saddam’s oppression. Chemical attack, treachery, and use of the innocent as human shields can be expected, as can other unethical tactics. Take it all in stride. Be the hunter, not the hunted: never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down. Use good judgment and act in best interests of our Nation. You are part of the world’s most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we enter the uncertain terrain north of the Line of Departure. Keep faith in your comrades on your left and right and Marine Air overhead. Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit. For the mission’s sake, our country’s sake, and the sake of the men who carried the Division’s colors in the past battles-who fought for life and never lost their nerve-carry out your mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the world there is "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" than a U.S. Marine.


OO-fuckin'-RAH!

I bet Marines fall all over themselves to fight for this motherfucker. I read that last quote and wanted to run into battle myself.
Gravdigr • Jan 5, 2015 11:57 am
“I said to her something like: ‘Thank you for speaking. God bless you. I will pray for you. But you have not been helpful’.”


~Brother Noah, of the Monastery of Christ in the Desert, in New Mexico, after speaking with United Airlines' Customer Service

Yes, they made a monk lose his temper.
Gravdigr • Jan 10, 2015 5:01 pm
Today my twin brother, womb-mate and best friend went home to be with the Lord.


~Andre Crouch's sister, Sandra

Womb-mate?!?!?! Rly?

:lol2:
Gravdigr • Feb 13, 2015 4:17 pm
...the first intelligent you've done.


~Justice Scalia, after Justice Ginsburg recounted dozing off during Obama's State of the Union address.
Gravdigr • Feb 26, 2015 5:24 pm
Fromunda the mug:

I always figured that it said a lot about a company when you consider that their basic premise for assuming you may do drugs is grounded in the fact that you want to work for them.


~buzzoff (Buzz O'Feinstein)

:notworthy
Gravdigr • Mar 17, 2015 3:10 pm
“We’ll continue to have Internet Explorer, but we’ll also have a new browser called Project Spartan, which is codenamed Project Spartan...”


~Microsoft’s marketing chief Chris Capossela, on finally killing off Internet Explorer
classicman • Mar 17, 2015 5:21 pm
Will it still suck as bad as IE?
DanaC • Mar 17, 2015 5:42 pm
Nothing could ever suck that bad
Gravdigr • Mar 17, 2015 6:02 pm
If it sucks better than IE, will it be better, or, worse?
DanaC • Mar 18, 2015 12:20 pm
Umm....good question...
Crimson Ghost • Mar 19, 2015 5:20 am
“We’ll continue to have Internet Explorer, but we’ll also have a new browser called Project Spartan, which is codenamed Project Spartan...”

I seem to have found a flaw in your otherwise perfect plan...
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 19, 2015 2:42 pm
Don't be silly, that's not a flaw, it's a feature. ;)
xoxoxoBruce • Mar 28, 2015 12:34 pm
White Livered Widders
(from AppalachianHistory.net and Project MUSE)

In the Southern Appalachians, and particularly among the older generation, it might be heard of someone that they are white-livered. Though this phrase is now quite rare, it was once well-known and provides an interesting look at folk medicine in Appalachian history.

White-livered means having an abnormally high sex drive that incapacitates or kills a spouse by draining them of their vitality through incessant sex. One of the earliest mentions of this comes from a Vance Randolph study: “When a lively, buxom, good-looking woman loses several husbands by death, it is often said that her inordinate passion has ‘killed ‘em off,’ and she is referred to as a white-livered widder (or widow).” Usually the phrase was only a figure of speech, but it was sometimes believed that a “high nature” created white spots on the liver, and that if one were to marry three times, their liver would automatically turn white. Some believed that being white-livered correlated with having bad blood, which was a euphemism for syphilis, and transferred the fatal disease to the sexual deviants’ victims.

The phrase was mostly applied to women, leading some to believe that its popularity died off when people realized that women can have sexual appetites without being ill.
Gravdigr • Apr 4, 2015 3:35 pm
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.


~Garrison Keillor
Gravdigr • Aug 10, 2015 1:13 pm
He was a person you wanted to be around because he always made you feel better.


~Richard Petty, on the passing of NASCAR giant (literally, he was 6'6") Buddy Baker
Gravdigr • Oct 2, 2015 1:44 pm
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DanaC • Oct 2, 2015 2:09 pm
Heheheheh ah man - classic Quayle.
fargon • Oct 2, 2015 3:20 pm
Why are all the idiots Republicans.
Lamplighter • Oct 2, 2015 3:37 pm
Gravdigr;940686 wrote:
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I don't know if Quayle actually said that ... but I want to believe he did.

:D
Lamplighter • Oct 2, 2015 3:38 pm
fargon;940697 wrote:
Why are all the Republicans idiots.


FIFY
fargon • Oct 2, 2015 3:50 pm
Thanx Lamp, as a recovering Republican I feel a lot smarter.
Gravdigr • Dec 21, 2015 1:05 pm
Not a straight quote of what he actually wrote, but, close enough:

No matter how black, white, male, female, Irish, German, tall, short, ugly or pretty you felt this year, you are part of a family that has been targeted by an unforgiving cosmos since its inception but has, regardless, survived ... humanity, warts and all, is an inherently heroic species that has spent about 99.99% of its short lifetime as an underdog. And If you see no billboards telling you that, it's not because it's not true. It's because there's little to no profit to be made telling you.

I could go on and on about the suffering we've endured and the adaptations we've made, but to me, our species' crowning jewel is that on the shortest day of the year, when the sun spends most of its time swallowed, when everything is frozen, when nothing can grow, when the air is so cold our voices stop right in front of our faces ... we put a string of lights on a universe that is currently doing nothing to earn it. We not only salvage an otherwise desolate time of year, we make it the best time of year.


~essayist Dan Harmon

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DanaC • Dec 21, 2015 1:18 pm
That's really beautiful.
xoxoxoBruce • Dec 21, 2015 2:34 pm
Yes, a nice thought, however...


depending on your hemisphere, it's Christmas on Bondi beach too. ;)
Gravdigr • Dec 21, 2015 2:55 pm
xoxoxoBruce;949217 wrote:
...depending on your hemisphere, it's Christmas on Bondi beach too. ;)


It says "we", not "they".;)
xoxoxoBruce • Dec 21, 2015 3:53 pm
True, but he'd already specified we as humanity, mankind, the hairless ape, so everybody but me & Fuzzy Magee. My observation detracts not a whit, from the beauty of his sentiment, any more than Clarabelle have a shit what the peanut gallery babbled.
Gravdigr • May 14, 2016 12:31 pm
I started taking anabolic steroids in 1969 and never stopped. It was addicting, mentally addicting. Now I'm sick, and I'm scared. Ninety percent of the athletes I know are on the stuff. We're not born to be 300 lb (140 kg) or jump 30 ft (9.1 m). But all the time I was taking steroids, I knew they were making me play better. I became very violent on the field and off it. I did things only crazy people do. Once a guy sideswiped my car and I beat the hell out of him. Now look at me. My hair's gone, I wobble when I walk and have to hold on to someone for support, and I have trouble remembering things. My last wish? That no one else ever dies this way.


~Lyle Alzado
Gravdigr • May 30, 2016 2:33 pm
“I think that the good and the great are only separated by the willingness to sacrifice.”


~Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Gravdigr • Jun 4, 2016 3:56 pm
"Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong."


“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”


"Don’t count the days; make the days count."


“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'”


~Muhammad Ali
classicman • Jun 5, 2016 8:20 pm
... How many situps do you do everyday?
Ali - "I don't count my situps, I only start counting when it starts hurting, when I feel pain.
monster • Aug 8, 2016 7:58 pm
Ballsy quote ( ;) ):

I've taken the view that if you have a midlife crisis, make sure you plan it well and enjoy every minute.


British Politician Ed Balls on participating in the UK TV show Strictly Come Dancing

http://www.bbc.com/…/www.b…/news/entertainment-arts-37008585
Gravdigr • Dec 8, 2016 4:02 pm
They've got us surrounded again, those poor bastards.


~Creighton Abrams (namesake of the M1 Abrams main battle tank)
xoxoxoBruce • Dec 8, 2016 6:41 pm
Poor fools...
Gravdigr • Feb 11, 2017 6:00 pm
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DanaC • Feb 25, 2017 3:24 pm
A nation is not its politics, a nation is the relationships between its people.

- Stephen Colbert
Gravdigr • Mar 11, 2017 5:28 pm
We are all part of all things.


~one of the characters in Terry Goodkind's "Severed Souls"
Gravdigr • Jun 8, 2017 3:34 pm
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Gravdigr • Jul 20, 2017 4:29 pm
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Squawk • Aug 9, 2017 6:44 am
One which I made up myself is "I'm not that bothered about winning, I just don't like losing."

Sent from my NEM-L51 using Tapatalk
Gravdigr • Aug 16, 2017 3:42 am
This [tattoo I have] says "I am certain of nothing.", and that's how I feel. I'm pretty sure cheese and sausage are good. Other than that, it's a world of confusion and uncertainty.


~Anthony Bourdain
Gravdigr • Aug 22, 2017 4:16 pm
ABC News anchorman Frank Reynolds, concluding coverage of the 1979 eclipse, noting that the next visible (to the U.S.) eclipse would happen on Aug. 21, 2017:

That’s 38 years from now...May the shadow of the moon fall on a world at peace.


So much for that.
Crimson Ghost • Aug 22, 2017 6:13 pm
That's a wrap.
DanaC • Aug 23, 2017 4:28 pm
Also - still no flying cars.
Gravdigr • Aug 24, 2017 12:58 am
Yeah! Dammit.
Gravdigr • Oct 28, 2017 3:19 pm
Trump had visitors in the Oval Office recently. Children of press reporters.

I can't believe the media produced such beautiful children.


~Donald Trump

:lol2:
Gravdigr • Nov 11, 2017 3:08 pm
Ted Cruz looks like if boredom and the sound of sleep screams had a baby with a shitty haircut and a smug demeanor.


~Ian Fortey, for Cracked.com article on "bad idea sex toys". Wobbling Willy ([COLOR="DarkRed"]<--NSFW[/COLOR]), if you're interested.;)
Gravdigr • Nov 21, 2017 2:23 pm
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots. there are no old, bold pilots.


~Somebody
xoxoxoBruce • Nov 22, 2017 3:34 am
Woman writing about cleaning out her deceased mothers house...
"This is one of the hardest things I've had to do. And I've dated musicians."
BigV • Nov 22, 2017 10:35 am
Dad quoting his daughter from Houston who has been flooded out:

"If it weren't for my struggles, I wouldn't know my strengths."
Gravdigr • Nov 24, 2017 1:35 am
BigV;999022 wrote:
"If it weren't for my struggles, I wouldn't know my strengths."


Daughter sounds like a wise person.
Gravdigr • Dec 6, 2017 2:15 pm
Sometimes The Heaviness is waiting for me when I wake up in the morning. I wake up and I say "Hiii, Heaviness!"

And The Heaviness goes "Oh, you're gonna be drinking early today."


~Rodney Dangerfield [size=1](paraphrasing)[/size]
glatt • Jan 19, 2018 8:39 am
DanDan didn't break any actual rules, but I'm confident he was also an academic paper spammer. Stole a profile photo from an employee at a Russian interior design firm. Posted from the same ISP as the previous spammer a couple minutes earlier. And his/her address has been reported multiple times at StopForumSpam. Claimed to be from Chicago, but the ISP appeared to be in Holland.

A lot of work to just get banned.
Gravdigr • Jan 19, 2018 2:26 pm
"Mjolnir rest easily on its hook, awaiting the time when, again, its strength will be required..."
Gravdigr • Mar 12, 2018 2:44 pm
Rep. Jared Huffman on Betsy DeVos:

...rich, white, and dumber than a bag of hammers.


:lol2:
Gravdigr • Jun 23, 2018 2:59 pm
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“It’s insulting to say that I spent $30,000 [per month] on wine...Because it was far more.”


~Johnny Depp
Griff • Jun 23, 2018 5:38 pm
Coming soon to a Famous people RIP near you.
Clodfobble • Jun 23, 2018 7:11 pm
Good rundown on reasons why here.
Gravdigr • Jun 24, 2018 3:22 pm
Yeah, he looks like he might still be imitating Keith Richards.
Gravdigr • Jun 24, 2018 3:40 pm
Clodfobble;1010607 wrote:
Good rundown on reasons why here.


I just read part of it. That looks to be a fairly good piece.

Thank you, Ms. Fobble.
xoxoxoBruce • Jun 24, 2018 11:26 pm
It's interesting, there's a lot of he said, she said, but I suspect the truth is in the middle some where.
Gravdigr • Dec 14, 2018 3:09 pm
Former NFL ref (1990 - 2017) Ed Hochuli:

“I worked over 600 games in the NFL, and there wasn’t a single game right up to the very last one that there weren’t a half a dozen times in that game [where] I said, ‘Oh my god, how’s that guy gonna get up off the ground? He’s gotta be dead.”

~from here

And just for fun:

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Gravdigr • Dec 31, 2018 1:14 pm
Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.


~Benjamin Franklin
DanaC • Dec 31, 2018 2:29 pm
I like.
Gravdigr • Dec 31, 2018 3:12 pm
That third thing there...I'm trying.

The first two things...One thing at a time.:D

Happy New Year, Dana!!
DanaC • Dec 31, 2018 3:17 pm
Back atcha m'dear :)
Griff • Dec 31, 2018 5:13 pm
Let's try. cheers mates!
Gravdigr • Jan 9, 2019 1:47 pm
Virginia State Trooper KM Freeman, on why she wrote Adrian Peterson (running back Washington Redskins) a ticket after pulling him over (for 78 in a 55):

If the Redskins were winning, I wouldn’t have written a ticket.


:lol2:
Gravdigr • Jan 10, 2019 1:13 pm
“'Oh, I'm sorry, apparently the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours. Do continue.'”


~Alexandra Bracken, Never Fade