September 26, 2006: Hotrod casket

Axlrosen suggests this item from the Ocean County Register. RIP Mr. James D. Calabrese, in this casket which truly reflected your life and interests.

Calabrese – loving husband, father and grandfather, house painter extraordinaire and well-known local hot-rod collector – may have been dead.

But he still had style.

Friends and family tricked out Calabrese's gunmetal gray casket with chrome and aluminum parts from his beloved 1958 Chevy Biscayne, complete with license plates and dangling dice

His other cars attended the funeral.

It doesn't matter what kind of life you lead, it's the cars you have at your funeral that determine how many hot blondes turn up.

Just because you're dead it doesn't mean you're not cool.

Brianna wrote:

Just because you're dead it doesn't mean you're not cool.

Actually you get cooler once your dead (at least assuming it's below 98.6 ambient)

In 1800 years, Beldor the archaeologist will excavate the grave and determine that this sarcophagus belonged to a tribal leader of great religious significance.

glatt wrote:

In 1800 years, Beldor the archaeologist will excavate the grave and determine that this sarcophagus belonged to a tribal leader of great religious significance.

or that he was trying to compensate for ...

Friends and family tricked out Calabrese's gunmetal gray casket with chrome and aluminum parts from his beloved 1958 Chevy Biscayne

Am I reading this right? They ripped the parts off the car so they could use them on the casket? Wouldn't that kind of mess up his beloved car?

That's probably what made the guy collapse in the first place.

If he could have opened his eyes, Calabrese would have seen three gauges staring back at him.

Oil.

Temperature.

Volts.

The gauges belonged on a dashboard of one of his prized hot rods.

The arms on the gauges all pointed to zero.

Okay, oil pressure and voltage, but the temperature was 0 degrees? That's mighty cold for SoCal.

Superfluous stuff, Steve. Front plate, aircleaner, easy to replace. The headers came from a friends garage, The valve covers were new and the gages came from one of his cars but they didn't say which one. ;)

milkfish wrote:

Okay, oil pressure and voltage, but the temperature was 0 degrees? That's mighty cold for SoCal.

It said; [HTML]The arms on the gauges all pointed to zero.[/HTML]
Not reading zero degrees. :lol:

xoxoxoBruce wrote:

Superfluous stuff, Steve. Front plate, aircleaner, easy to replace. The headers came from a friends garage, The valve covers were new and the gages came from one of his cars but they didn't say which one. ;)

Maybe next time I should consider reading the article before posting. :behead:

Having said that I have no clue what's superfluous on a car. (Aren't six spark plug cables redundant? Wouldn't it be OK with just one?)

Yeah, it'd be okay with just one... until you realize WHY it's redundant.

Redundant? Your vocabulary or your mechanical sensibilities are not up to their usual high standards. Actually, I'm sure it's your mechanical sensibilities, since you've demonstrated your command of the language. Those six spark plug wires, none is redundant.

Oh. You were following on from SD's remark. Nevermind. Still, redundant...:rollanim:

SD: One per spark plug, since they fire independantly. Six cylinders, six plugs, six wires.

Six? Wouldn't that have been a V-8?

That seems like the kind of funeral my older brother would like...
Actually I think that he would prefer it if they rigged him to pop up out of the coffin flipping the bird in the middle of Amazing Grace....

SteveDallas wrote:

Maybe next time I should consider reading the article before posting.

What?....and kill the discussion...don't you dare. :D
Actually, if you look at the picture of the purple '58 it has two air cleaners on it. They may be the ones used inside the scoop that's on the coffin.

Such things are apparently quite common in Ghana. Hopefully I will remember to ask my favorite shrink about this tomorrow night.

Six? Wouldn't that have been a V-8?

No, that'd be a V6. In general you have one lead going to one plug, and one plug per cylinder to create the spark which causes the fuel mixture to ingnight which forces the piston down which... and so on.

I've never heard of an engine sharing plug leads or plugs between cylinders since you want the best quality spark you can get to ensure the most efficent burning of fuel

back on topic, I bet the pall-barers loved carrying that thing!

wolf wrote:

Such things are apparently quite common in Ghana. Hopefully I will remember to ask my favorite shrink about this tomorrow night.

What a wonderful idea! If I wasn't set on being sewn up in a piece of hemp and planted under a tree I'd want a personalised coffin. No idea what - at the moment a Tardis would be cool, and at least it would make my brother smile.

In Kenya the relatives of the deceased beggar themselves by placing large newspaper announcements. They also cost the equivilant of months worth of wages, but the more people that chip in, the larger the ad and the more expensive it is. Many of them have photos of the person "Promoted to Glory"

I prefer the coffins.

chrishill wrote:

back on topic, I bet the pall-barers loved carrying that thing!

I was having a similar thought about the grave diggers having to put deeper trenches on the sides of the grave to accept the pipes, which appear to hang down two feet below the bottom of the coffin.

chrishill wrote:

...snip...
I've never heard of an engine sharing plug leads or plugs between cylinders since you want the best quality spark you can get to ensure the most efficent burning of fuel

Interestingly, there are vehicles that don't have a distributer that are NOT using coil on plug electronics - the spark is sent to all the cylinders every time. The 4 cylinder engine in my old Ranger was this way. The reason it works is that the HIGHER the pressure in a cylinder, the lower the "breakdown" voltage with an arc - and once an arc is started, it gets lower yet. In other words, the cylinder closest to TDC will fire!

Strange, huh?

chrishill wrote:

No, that'd be a V6. In general you have one lead going to one plug, and one plug per cylinder to create the spark which causes the fuel mixture to ingnight which forces the piston down which... and so on.

I've never heard of an engine sharing plug leads or plugs between cylinders since you want the best quality spark you can get to ensure the most efficent burning of fuel

back on topic, I bet the pall-barers loved carrying that thing!

Welcome to the Cellar, chrishill. :D
SteveDallas mentioned six plugs/wires as an example of his lack of comprehention about how cars work.
Hoof Hearted misunderstood him to mean the dead guys '58 Chevy had a six cylinder and said, isn't it a V-8....which it certainly is.....big'un too.

wolf wrote:

Such things are apparently quite common in Ghana. Hopefully I will remember to ask my favorite shrink about this tomorrow night.

The doc says that these were once very much in vogue, but lately the less costly plain caskets are in more use. Apparently the guy who makes these used to have his business located right next to the morturary in Accra (the capital), and that business has fallen off (by about 75%) since they moved to the other side of town.

All I can say is, if you have to explain a joke, then it wasn't very damned funny.

Some get it, some get confused. ;)

SteveDallas wrote:

Maybe next time I should consider reading the article before posting. :behead:

You can't do that, they'll take away your internet forum poster badge.

.... and for the lifelog but now deseased biker..


http://www.bikerfuneralsltd.co.uk/photos.htm