Weird things that happen to you at work...
So I work at a bank...and i'm on the teller line. This old man just belched in my face. A raunchy nasty belch and didn't even say excuse me. Gross!
What weird things happen to you guys while you are at work?
Yeah, and the old guys with the really bad body odor are the worst.
I am constantly being called upon to utilize my 35 year old Spanish language skills, which must sound to our Hispanic employees as though I am mentally and verbally handicapped.
Ok well this one time, at band camp....
LOL ok seriously though, um...there is this guy who is sort of infamous here, his name, or at least what we call him is Crazy Mike, and nearly everyone from here knows him, he wears huge headphones and rides around town on his moped and is, well, crazy. Anyways, one time he came to my place of employment for no reason at all other than to say that he grew up with my company's president, and that he used to pee his pants all the time as a boy! True story right there
I worked as a nurse in a steel mill (AK Steel in Middletown, OH. They are now locked out by the company).
I encountered many a strange, 'raised by wolves', kind of counter-culture there.
A guy named Stinky Ray came up to the medical office window once and, literally, coughed RIGHT IN MY FACE (a thing that hadn't happened since my stint in pediatrics.) (plus, Stinky Ray was soooo stinky that we did Rock/Paper/Scissors to see who had to take care of him. I lost.)
We examined him and he had a really, really bad URI (and, rotted teeth.) We took a chest X-ray and sent it to a radiologist group to be read. Report of x-ray came back and turns out, ol' Stinky Ray, who coughed right in my face, had TB!
I've another story 'bout a dude who had a colostomy and was forced to come to medical because he refused to take care of it. Lord, lord. I miss that place. :)
Crazy Mike aka sex symbol super star!!! Good Stuff!
One of my fav's goes back to the days when I had a job with the AAA. I prepared maps and trip tiks for AAA members. One day a highly agitated woman came in and wanted to know how to dive through Colorado without going over any mountains. I stared at her, but she was insistent. What the hell was this person doing in Colorado if they didn't like mountains? Still, she was the customer, so I prepared a trip tik for her routing her all the way down to I-40, about 8 hours out of her way. I then put her on the old route 666 to get her into Utah. It was July and that was the hottest, most god forsaken route possible. She'd have been happier staying home in Kansas. Working with the general public never fails to restore my faith in the general stupidity of man kind. :eyebrow:
I don't get this so much now, but at my last job, which was at a college, I received the mail that was sent to [email]webmaster@college.edu[/email]. It was unbelievable some of the stuff that people sent in. One expressed his excitement about a potential football scholarship. (Unlikely, since we didn't have a football team.) One went on about how badly he wanted to come to study ..... at a different college. One wanted to know if her application should be typed, and if so, how she would go about doing that. And there was more than one on the theme of "Hi, I want my little Susie who's in 6th grade to come to your school. I'm going to send her to one of these three elitist snotty prep schools, and I just wanted to check which one of them would give her the greatest chance of being admitted."
Being a lifeguard lets me see experience some interesting things.. such as 15 year old kid taking a crap in the middle of the bathroom.. as I walked in. He stood up, grabbed some toilet paper and wiped then tried to just walk out right past me.
25 years ago, as a retail salesman, I discovered a group of guys changing price stickers on 10 boxes of vinyl tile from $45/box to $12/box. No UPC readers back then. I asked them if they needed help and one guy diverted me with questions somewhere else and the other guys took off with the shopping cart. Soon, I told the guy, "Oh, they just paged me on the loudspeaker. I gotta go.".
I told the store manager and he told me to just stand visible at the cash register and the guy will probably just give up. In about 10 minutes, the guys walk out the front door empty handed and I found the goods in another department.
I worked at that home improvement store for 4 years and saw some real idiots. Most customers were good and just wanted good advice about stuff they didn't do very often.
Heh.. reminds me of one of my dad's. At about the same time, early 1980s, he used to moonlight part-time around Christmas at Brendle's, a local western North Carolina chain similar to Best or Service Merchandise. They usually put him in the electronics department. One night he & another guy found a doll house. On further investigation the best they could figure was that somebody had loaded up the dollhouse box with smallish, relatively expensive electronic gizmos and paid for the dollhouse ($50 or something like that), and walked out the door with the lot.
Many many years later, I bought a Black & Decker drill at Rickel. When I got it home and opened it, the box contained an ancient, rusted Craftsman drill. Obviously somebody had made a little swap. I took it back to the Rickel and they gave me my money back, but the manager said he had never seen anything like that and came close to suggesting (but didn't actually) that it was possibly me who had done the switcheroo. When I told my dad about it later, he said the manager either just started that day or was bullshitting me because that kind of stuff happened all the time.
... Many many years later, I bought a Black & Decker drill at Rickel. When I got it home and opened it, the box contained an ancient, rusted Craftsman drill. Obviously somebody had made a little swap. I took it back to the Rickel and they gave me my money back, but the manager said he had never seen anything like that and came close to suggesting (but didn't actually) that it was possibly me who had done the switcheroo. When I told my dad about it later, he said the manager either just started that day or was bullshitting me because that kind of stuff happened all the time ...
Wow. The store that I worked at was in fact Rickel.
As for the switch, I could see a number of asshats that used to work there doing just that. You're did was right.
One sleazy P/T guy in my dept setup one of his friends to do a scam merchandise return which he approved. He set it up in a time window when he was the only one working in our dept. He got caught because the dept manager next to us was helping us out while we we short staffed and happened to know the products involved and happened to arrive at the return counter when this scam was ending.
The P/T asshat was prosecuted and settled out of court. A few month's later he was arrested for breaking into one of our friend's house when he knew they would not be home and he tried to steal big electronics. He got caught because neighbors called the police. I lost track of the asshat at that point.
I remember this guy particularly because regular drugs weren't good enough for him anymore. He used to huff gasoline. I'm sure this guy died before the advent of crystal meth, he would have be the prime candidate for that stuff.
Rickel didn't always employee the world's best citizens.
"Rickel helps you do it better, do it better with Rickel!"One time these cute girls wanted to buy carpeting by the linear foot for their dorm room. They wanted it installed, cut to the dimensions of the room and double-taped down. I told them that the store didn't do that, but I could do it on the side for twenty bucks. Plus, I would charge them for half the material on the order, and cut it myself twice the length. They agreed. God what I would try to do to get laid in those days.
Well, I sold them the carpeting for half price and installed it for them. But, I just got the $20. Geez, I never got laid in those days. Well, I was 20 yo and looked 14.
You guys have it so totally easy.
I've been spit on, pissed at, exposed to a variety of parasites and infections, hit, kicked, and had to smell things to which humans should not be exposed. That was just within the last week.
And I've had my hand broken.
Yeah, but you've got the shitjob/nuthouse thread for that Wolf! We're just talking about wierd here ...
I work in a shop selling obviously factory made sweaters, shirts, trousers, kids' clothes, obviously factory made leather goods, sheepskin rugs, and some craft-y items including a visible stock of around 100 handknit sweaters. The shop is located literally in the middle of nowhere on an island with a population of 4,500. I am amazed at the number of times I've been asked "So .... do you make all this yourself?". HUH?
i worked in a porno shop for a while in college. some of the weird things i saw there, you wouldn't want to hear about.......
I used to work for a Borders in Pennsylvania. We had a share of people there that were quite insane. One guy, we called him Barking Guy, I'm fairly certain was schizophrenic. He earned his name because one of the first times he was in the store, he stood less than a foot from some huge body builder and started barking at him.
Another time, this guy was wandering around the store, pointing at random customers and mutters things like, "Robert Kennedy... you asshole".. he pointed at my supervisor, Neil, and said, "Rush Limbaugh.. you're a bastard"
And yet another time, he was in line behind another employee at the cafe. He taps the employee on the shoulder, and the employee turns to see what's up. Then the barking guy leans down (He was fairly tall) and screams, "FUCK YOU" .. then acts like nothing happened.
My current job doesn't give me much in the way of 'strange' so much as 'omg you're stupid.' Like the guy that thought his home printer had a problem because the file he tried to print at work came out garbled.
A one or two-time customer of ours came in to the store one afternoon, Stoned Out Of His Gourd, and after a little gibberish, proclaimed that he was really hungry. He said that I should give him a dollar, because he wanted purchase a hotdog from the cart across the street.
Now, we get the occasional street person coming in and asking for money, but this one threw me for a loop...not just because I'd never seen him blotto before, but also here was a guy who I thought would come in and start shopping, and instead he quite firmly requests hotdog money! It was a little bizarre, and in the moment, slightly frightening. I decided to follow my instincts and replied, man, I have no money for you.
Well, geez, his shoulders just dropped, and his puffy eyes welled up with tears ("But I'm really hungry!"). For chrissakes. Then it dawned on me that one can say things to stoned people that don't make sense, and they may believe you, and also that the hotdog cart vendor was a big guy who could probably handle this weirdo more efficiently than I. So I suggested to UltraStoned Man that maybe the vendor would give him a FREE hotdog. It worked, thank god--he perked up and said Yeah, free hotdog! and wandered out the door. Never saw him again.
This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...
I've been fucked over by my employer, but never laid by one.
Wouldn't the lovely Miss April be somewhat distressed by this goal of yours?
Why? She'd most likely be a willing participant. ;)
What, doing her and your boss at the same time? I didn't think you liked your boss that much.
That's not what I meant! I meant that April would come to my workplace and I would get laid depending on the circumstances.
It would be a fun way to get fired, but I think it might negatively impact your future hireability and earnings, even with the MBA.
Check your employee handbook before proceeding. It might not be specifically prohibited.
I used to work at "Ramsey Outdoor". The Paramus store was in "The Sopranos". I was in the Ramsey store.
One day, two guys drive up in a Jeep, walk to the canoes, pick one up, and walk out. As they passed the cashier, they held up a pink piece of paper, announced that they that the purchace order, and to have a good day. The next day, the manager wanted to know where the hell the canoe was. Turns out that all these guys had was a piece of pink constuction paper. And we laffed, and laffed, and laffed. And the cashier applied for unemployment...
weird shit , well ,,,,,
Once I saw a box break open and various body parts fell to the floor ,
Once I was crawling around in what I thought was mud , later I found out there was a broken sewer mail neer by ,
More than once I have been drawn down on ( with a fire arm ) ,
Once I had to have Sherif Deputies with me to do my job ,
Shall I continue ????
there's this dude that argues and yells at the crosswalk lights here in downtown houston. very strange. the dude is always dressed well so i don't think he's a bum. funny as shit, though. when the X-walk light is white he either preaches to it, shouting of course, or screams about the gubmint. guess it depends on what kind of mood he's in that day. funny thing is that when the walk light changes to don't walk (red) he stops yelling at it! everyone that works downtown and spends anytime outside knows of him. depending on what day of the week it is dictates what street he's on. yesterday was Travis street day. Monday will be Louisiana steet day. dude is a beer or two short of a six pack.
This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...
Twenty-five years ago, I had a relationship with a coworker. She taught me a lot in the back room.;)
So I work at a bank...and i'm on the teller line. This old man just belched in my face. A raunchy nasty belch and didn't even say excuse me. Gross!
What weird things happen to you guys while you are at work?
I've been fitting glasses right across a desk from more than one old gal that let one fly...and they don't even miss a beat.:nuts: Recently we had the waiting room chairs steam cleaned because they smelled of urine.:eyebrow:
I worked in a family pizzeria for several years as a second job. Some of the customers there would amaze you!.
Anyway, there was one lady that would come in the instant we opened (10:30 am). She was always attired in fairly decent clothing, but messy and dirty. She wanted to buy two slices of pizza and would question me as to whether they were freshly made or leftovers from the day before. I'd reassure her that we never served anything from the day before and all our pizza's were just made. She'd hand over her money ($3.14 worth) and it was always filthy, mangled change that had obviously been salvaged off the ground. Then she'd disappear into the ladies room and take a bath. Literally. 15 minutes later she would reappear, damp and shiny, and take her pizza. We'd then have to go mop up the restroom.
Another lady in her mid-30's would come in to eat once in a while in the mid-afternoon. Luckily, that was when there were few or no customers about. She was a bit overweight and always dressed as a streetwalker might...short shorts with her butt cheeks showing, see thru blouses with no bra, rolls of fat showing around the edges of her too tight clothing. She would order an entire pizza and a pitcher of coke and sit at a booth near the back of the restaurant. Now this is where things got weird. She would talk out loud to herself, as though she were having a conversation with an invisible person. Sometimes these conversations were mumbled and sometimes they were vehement. She would toss her long hair over her shoulder in a flirtatious manner and she constantly squirmed around on the bench. It appeared at times as though she was playing with herself, but none of us wanted to get close enough to verify that for sure. This would last a very long, uncomfortable 90 minutes or so, then she'd pay and saunter out.
Then there was the kitchen helper that was always drunk. He would drop the change, lean down to pick it up and bump the register drawer on his way up..exploding all the change out and onto him and the floor. He got very belligerant at times with the customers and/or employees. He rode a bicycle and would wobble away when his shift was over. Needless to say, he didn't last long.
Fun, fun.
I miss that place!
Stormie
i worked in a porno shop for a while in college. some of the weird things i saw there, you wouldn't want to hear about.......
Oh!! But I wanna hear about those weird things!!
I'm going to flunk my linguistics test. I just wanted to say that and I didn't want to start a whole new thread.
You guys have it so totally easy.
I've been spit on, pissed at, exposed to a variety of parasites and infections, hit, kicked, and had to smell things to which humans should not be exposed. That was just within the last week.
And I've had my hand broken.
I used to work for a Borders in Pennsylvania...
Really...which one? My lifepartner used to work at the one in King of Prussia.
This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...
Cripes...obviously I need an update. Last I heard you were spoken for.
He is, but spoken for by a different person now.
That's not what I meant! I meant that April would come to my workplace and I would get laid depending on the circumstances.
Check your employee handbook before proceeding. It might not be specifically prohibited.
As I recall, the usual clause prohibits it "on company time or furniture". :-)
He is, but spoken for by a different person now.
So it would appear. The previous incumbent going poly would have been the other possibility. A visit to Syc's site has been informative.
Yeah...there have a been a few minor
changes in Sycamoreland over the past year. :)
Ok... a couple of years out of college, I worked as junior office monkey at a real estate rental office. Most rents then were paid in cash over the counter, so much of my time was just taking and receipting rents. My other main job was property inspections, to see that tenants were looking after the landlords' properties. You often see weird shit during property inspections. You never see people in the same light after seeing some folks personal lives.
Legally, we had to issue a written notice to the tenant seven days before the inspection, so they could get their shit together and clean.
Anyhow, one woman, who rented a nice modern house, always paid on time, and had been no trouble at all, took offence at the idea of an inspection. And by "took offence", I mean she went apeshit. She came barrelling into the office screaming about how "no one was coming into her house" and that she had a gun and would shoot anyone that came near the place.
We were pretty cool about it all, withdrew the initial notice, notified the owner, who naturally freaked out and insisted we get in there as soon as possible and then begin proceedings to get her out of his house.
So we issued the required inspection notice again. Nutcase tenant comes in to our office, brandishing the notice, more threats, real psycho stuff too. It became a patten over the next few weeks, psycho spotted on the street, all the office girls vanish leaving poor old monkeyboy to deal with the homicidal tenant.
I copped many an earful, colorful threat and poor character description.
The rental dept. manager, decided it was time to "out-bitch" the bitch. Sadly, this was well within her abilities. She called in a favour with the local copshop, and, a couple of weeks later, we conducted not only an inspection, but a firearms search of the premises. This involved two officers, both with drawn sidearms, and a secondaries in ankle holsters, wearing bullet proof vests with big metal plates slotted down the front. We were required to wait about 100 metres up the street until an entry was secured.
This shit fully freaked me out. This is Australia. We don't have guns (mostly). I literally don't know anyone who openly owns a gun. We used to muck around with air rifles in school, but that's about it. So to see several guns in one day (including the shotguns in the boot of the police car) was full on.
As it turned out, the property was no Waco wannabe. It was neat and undamaged, there was a convertible BMW parked in the garage, there were no guns. To this day I still don't know what the issue was.
Psycho stopped paying rent from that day. It got rather ugly (financially) for the owner after that. But we got her out in the end.
I so hope her husband's got a shed.
Wow, what an essay! If you've read all that you've done well!
Very impressive, all of you! We need a "weird things I've seen" thread, since working in the office I do means no real interesting stories.
we can add weird things seen to the title too if you want....all stories are welcome!
Yesterday was credible death threat day at work.
The threatener did not show up on the property, but I kept a very close eye on the sight lines. Today, I'll be going in with the binoculars.
Against whom? Any and all? :eek:
Yesterday was credible death threat day at work.
Yeah, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that one. :lol:
I have this vision of you doing a Sydney Bristow stealth entry into the building. *Cue the Alias theme*
Against whom? Any and all? :eek:
One of the docs, specifically, the facility in general since the threat includes busting his wife out. He's known to have a license to carry, actually rambles about it, but it's not known whether he has any firearms. I spent a lot of time talking to him the other night, and made my extreme unimportance very clear to him.
The vehicle has been spotted on the property several times, and someone may have seen him in a different vehicle.
I have fine bullet resistant glass, although I'm not solely relying on it.
Don't worry, the police will take care of it as soon as someone is hurt. :smack:
I have fine bullet resistant glass, although I'm not solely relying on it.
Might buy a little time, though. Can't hurt.:ninja:
Reminds me I need to send a memo to the safety committe about light and heat exposure ...
i walked past this guy...
Linus: Hey, How's it going?
Guy: Not to bad you know.
Linus: Yea'.
Guy: So hows my man doing?
Linus: *
Linus: (WTF?)
Linus: Uh doin' aight...?
Linus: :3_eyes:
He's known to have a license to carry, actually rambles about it..
I take it there's more evidence for that than rambling?
I like the new carry licences in Montgomery County; they're the same kind of photo-ID card as the Florida ("Good in 22 States--Count 'Em") permit.
The pictures still suck though.
If the photo didn't suck, it would be suspect as an official document. ;)
I deal with security for an ISP and I always get calls from people demanding to know why I am trying to hack them.:eyebrow: Then of course the threaten me and tell me they are going to get me and my company kicked off the internet.:p
Ok, you get the phone number from IANA, call an 800 number hit random options and get me, and I am the one hacking you?? wow, that's amazing.
I would love nothing more then to tell these people to stop going to porn sites! and see if the "attacks" stop.:rolleyes:
Welcome to the Cellar, John. :D
Don't you just love the public?
I deal with security for an ISP and I always get calls from people demanding to know why I am trying to hack them...Ok, you get the phone number from IANA, call an 800 number hit random options and get me, and I am the one hacking you?? wow, that's amazing.
Oy. Of course, you don't get phone numbers from either IANA or ICANN though. It's by a
whois query to the registrar that manages your domain.
You really do security? Maybe you should tell them why you're trying hack them . Why
are you trying to hack them? :-)
You really do security? Maybe you should tell them why you're trying hack them . Why are you trying to hack them? :-)
Yup, I've been doing security for about 10 years now.
Of course I am hacking them because I must know what is on their computer! I also want them to call me and complain that's why I make it so easy to find me.:rolleyes: :D
Welcome to the Cellar, John.
Don't you just love the public?
Thanks for the welcome.:)
Of course I am hacking them because I must know what is on their computer!
Data. If it happens to be a Powerbook, data and stickers. :-)
This one man will show up at work every full moon. If I see him he will tell me, "there is a full moon tonight." Then I won't see him again until the next full moon or maybe a couple of months will pass and I will see him again. We don't have conversations he just tells me,"the moon is full tonight." I just think or say, Oh it's been a month already? or give him a poker face and say, oh really. I'll look into his eyes. It looks silvery in there but I don't believe in werewolfs. He smiles a twinkly smile and goes about his business.
@skysidhe: Are you frickin' serious?!
Or is that a genius bit of fiction?!
Either way, I love it. Silvery eyes!
@skysidhe: Are you frickin' serious?!
Or is that a genius bit of fiction?!
Either way, I love it. Silvery eyes!
I am quite serious and it is quite true. I have never mentioned it to anyone. Not family or anyone just because it
does sound like fiction. Those kinds of things you just file away under 'strange' To be honest I did embelish with the silvery part. His eyes are blue BUT They do have silvery flecks in them . He seems to be a really nice whenhe tells me there is a full moon. It's in a casual friendly way. He's not trying to be creepy,,......I don't think.
I thought it was a better story than me smashing my finger. Other than that it's pretty hum drum.
[edit- If I could write fiction like that I would become an author. I would have money and a name. Instead I am dumb and I work two jobs. Even if I had the time and energy to make things up I don't have the imagination or the inclination. Magic finds me I don't need to make things up.......jus...sos ya know]
ok the finger smashing story.
One day I was using a labeler. It is a little square box that looks like the game cube. It was on a rolling table and I had the scanner part of it in my right hand I crouched on the floor spreading my left hand out onto the carpet. I was hating that job so much I felt like all my negative energys built up so much that, that box took a leap right down onto my left middle finger. I knew I smashed it but I wasn't prepared for what I saw when I looked at it. The tip of my finger was gone! My fingernail hung by a tiny bit of flesh. In my shock all I could think about is how perfect our fingernails look. "Just like those fake ones in the box' I said to myself. I held my finger tight and went to the phone and paged for emergency assistance. I walked to where the help was comming. I looked at my finger and just about passed out. There was the tip of my finger bone poking out. .....
The rest is history. Once the shock wore off I was in alot of pain. I asked people to go look for my finger. I guess there was a bunch of them looking for it. My boss drove me to the hospitail and stayed there the whole time. I got stitched up, drugged up and fortunatly my finger was still there. It had just shatterd and split. My nail grew back. My finger is flatter than the others but I think I grew my finger back quite well. I can almost trim that nail too which is really exciting.
oh yuck Sky, that sounds awful.
I have been the searcher of a finger, but never lost one thankfully.
Thanks ducks..it's all 'o tay' now. :)
umm so ducks did you ever find a finger ? To find someone elses finger would be something really more yukky than yuk.
I drive a bus for my day job. A drunk got on recently, looked at me after he paid his fare, smiled, and said "how would you like a punch in the face?" I paused with a pensive look omy face, and replied "I don't think I'd like it very much". He said "oh, ok" and went to sit down.
Man, I could write a book with the stuff that happens every day. Better yet, I'll just keep adding to this thread! :D
I've been wondering when they're going to put those thick plexiglass shields, like they have at check cashing places, around bus drivers? :(
That wouldn't be passenger-friendly. It would only make sense to protec the drivers from the crazies. Can you detect my sarcasm? ;)
Yesterday was one of those extraordinarily bad days that luckily we only have about one of each quarter.
This was just plain bad. I even had a freakout (which consisted of me yelling for about five minutes "That's it, I'm fucking done, I'm not fucking seeing another fucking person, I've had it, I can't take anymore, etc."), after which my dear ambulanceboi said, "Are you done, Momma?" and I said, "Yes," and went back to working.
But that's not my story of weirdness.
My night started with a woman who was screaming and yelling, and basically unhappy with coming to see me. She had even gotten loose from handcuffs in the back of a police car, and had swung the empty cuff around like a medieval morning star. She was eventually subdued and restrained to a litter.
I was helping out with trying to get her medicated.
She continued to shriek and struggle, wasn't allowing us to pull her pants down far enough to roll her and shoot her in the ass. It was a good sized target, too. As we are trying to pull her stretch pants down her hips a bit, I had a very surreal little moment.
All of a sudden I realized ... this lunatic and I are wearing the same underwear.
And there's three more days 'til the full moon. I'd wear a thong until then, if I were you.
All of a sudden I realized ... this lunatic and I are wearing the same underwear.
Thanks Wolf, I needed that!
Okay, I have been resisting the desire to post this. I am a paralegal. One day a few months ago, while talking with a client, she proceeded to show me the results of her most-recent surgical procedure. A boob job. She lifted her shirt, pulled down her bra, and showed me her new big boobs. I still can't believe it!!!
holy crap wolf, i think i'll stop complining about my job now ;)
Okay, I have been resisting the desire to post this. I am a paralegal. One day a few months ago, while talking with a client, she proceeded to show me the results of her most-recent surgical procedure. A boob job. She lifted her shirt, pulled down her bra, and showed me her new big boobs. I still can't believe it!!!
Are you a guy or a girl?
holy crap wolf, i think i'll stop complining about my job now ;)
I left out the part where she spit at me, just in case you needed an additional reason not to do what I do.
Pull down my pants and you might get spit at again, from a different angle.;)
Just to be clear, was this at all job-related? I mean, was she suing her surgeon or something like that?
Good God, no - that might make sense. She was just proud of her new boobs. My boss (male) was extremely jealous. . .
Weird ain't it , chicks that just got boob jobs will show and have another girl FEEL their recent additions , but let a guy try and they get all weird ??!!??!!??
To be totally honest, there was another party in the room (female). She actually poked at the new boobs, and said "don't they look great?!?! Do you want to touch them?"
(For the record, I didn't touch OR WANT TO TOUCH. . .)
I would have....just out of curiousity.....like a science experiment......or the Franklin Institute's "Please Touch" museum....so I could report back to you people, the results....it's my duty.....:D
I had a young lady (HA!) get on my bus Friday evening, wearing a skirt, high heels, clearly going downtown to party. Sat right at teh bak of the bus and spent the whole trip with her legs spread - no panties. Sometimes I wish the rear view mirrow wasn't so damn big :o
LOL wow. I mean, I know all kinds of people have crazy things that happen to them at work. I'm just glad you guys share. I like to laugh. Thanks Guys.
...the Franklin Institute's "Please Touch" museum...
I'm pretty sure the only connection between "Please Touch' and fi.edu is that Please Touch is across the street. At least that used to be the case.
The Franklin Institute was a fixture of my youth and a profound influence on me; I was a student member for ages. It's been excruciating to watch the Professional Museum Fundraisers^h^h^h^h^h^h People turn the place into a goddamned theme park over the years.
The last straw for me was when they tossed W3AA out. I'll never go there again.
Okay, I'll bite: what was the W3AA?
Okay, I'll bite: what was the W3AA?
W3AA (oringinally licenced in 1952 as W3TKQ) was a public demonstration amateur radio station.
In the 1960's:
More recently:
W3TKQ/W3AA history
The Phil-Mont Mobile Radio Club...My boss (male) was extremely jealous. . .
Why, did he want big boobs, too?
The Franklin Institute was a fixture of my youth and a profound influence on me; I was a student member for ages. It's been excruciating to watch the Professional Museum Fundraisers^h^h^h^h^h^h People turn the place into a goddamned theme park over the years.
The last straw for me was when they tossed W3AA out. I'll never go there again.
I miss the airplane. That was my definition of coolness. Not quite up there with the Nazi sub of my favorite childhood museum, but good.
I miss the airplane. That was my definition of coolness. Not quite up there with the Nazi sub of my favorite childhood museum, but good.
I assume you mean the 707? There was also the T-33 inside (still there last I knew). Before the T-33 there was a P-47 Thunderbolt in the same space. Amelia Earhadt's Lockheed Vega was there too, as was a (flyable) Wright Flier Model B; both have since gone to NASM.
Yes, the 707 that was parked outside. One of my friends had a row of seats from that plane installed as the back seat of his car.
I've watched a sergeant shoot himself in the foot while showing a group of privates how to clear a weapon (i.e., how to make sure there's no rounds left inside)...
I've seen an IED go off dead center on a Humvee- the glorious thing being that the moron who set it used an illumination artillery round instead of a high-explosive one, thus treating us all to a harmless, but pretty, fireworks show.
The best one, though, has to be the marine who accidentally discharged an anti-tank missile over/across an air field while giving a class on how to use it. (The thing has something like 6 safeties on it).
(By the way, the soldier/marine above are two of the very few exceptions, not the rule. Or we'd all be dead, of course.)
Has anyone ever seen the clip of a couple police officers who had apparently just arrested someone and brought him into the station, only to find that they didn't pat him down, the officer leaves the room and the man blows his head off?
That was posted in the video thread....or the links thread, but I think the former. :cool:
Oh! good to know Bruce, thank you.
Has anyone ever seen the clip of a couple police officers who had apparently just arrested someone and brought him into the station, only to find that they didn't pat him down, the officer leaves the room and the man blows his head off?
We love that one at work. Very good lesson on making sure you search someone before you bring them in.
My old extension number at work was 1181 and all the Directory Enquiries numbers in the UK start with 118. So if people forgot to press 9 for an outside line and just started dialling, they'd come through to me. Somehow they'd miss the part where I answered with my name and "Medicines Management Team" and roll straight into asking me for telephone numbers.
I came back from annual leave once to find a message from a woman who was sectioned. She'd obviously managed to get access to the internal telephone system. She was marvellously lucid and explained that she'd called me to get the telephone number for the BBC, but as I was on the line she wanted to warn me of a few things, namely that the world was going to end in 48 hours.
She explained that as I was being so helpful, she could save me, and a couple of my friends if I wanted. She knew famous people - the Royal Family & Phil Collins were mentioned - and the Beastie Boys were on their way to pick her up in their private plane, and that's how we would be saved. She not only correctly named the 3 Beastie Boys but also used my name throughout the message (something that genuine callers never seem to get right, leaving messages for Kerry, Gerald, Carol etc).
This was mixed in with complaints about how she was being treated on the ward (they drugged her in order to steal from her apparently). The message cut out after a while, I think she would have been happy to continue for much longer.
There used to be a website of messages from a psych hospital inpatient left with one of the state-level libertarian party offices. I miss those.
Got the following e-mail this morning:
[glatt],
We just heard from [one of your temps.] Unfortunately, he is still not feeling well. He will not be in to the office today. We apologize for any incontinence this may cause. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Kind regards,
[temp agency]
Gotta watch those spell checkers.
LOL....just incase his not showing up for work 'causes you to lose control of your bodily functions...
thanks for the laugh...i needed one...
A student was appealing her financial aid awards, for a legitimate reason, stating that she wouldn't have as much income this year as last due to the fact that her ex husband had to do a lot of catching up on his child support the previous year. According to her, her ex was "no longer in the rears."
. . . . her ex was "no longer in the rears."
I bet he wasn't, Bob!!
My old extension number at work was 1181 and all the Directory Enquiries numbers in the UK start with 118 . . .
Don'tcha love it??? Our last phone system (a Merlin Legend from AT&T/Lucent/Avaya/whatever the hell their name is this week, for those keeping score at home) allowed you to put all your phone menus in spanish by dialing *792 . It just so happens that at our site 7929 is the internal extension for voice mail. Every once in a while somebody would brush the * on their way to the 7 with mildly amusing results.
Has anyone ever seen the clip of a couple police officers who had apparently just arrested someone...
Perhaps second only to the tough-guy gangsta narc who's lecturing to a bunch of Miami kids about how dangerous guns are and how he's "de only person in dis room po'fesssnul enough to handle this Glock" (with a dramatic thumbing of the slide release) who then *immediately* proceeds to negligent-discharge the thing into his own foot.
He tries to shine it on for a few minutes, but when he decides he's going to show them an AK and everybody yells "no!" and ducks, he realizes it's time to bring the presentation to a close.
After he was fired, he sued DEA
in pro se for leaking the video and ruining his reputation...
Gosh...idiot...but, you can pretty much sue for anything these days huh? Er, well, that's the way it seems.
Gosh...idiot...but, you can pretty much sue for anything these days huh? Er, well, that's the way it seems.
Yes.Well I don't know that this is weird. Just stupid.
I needed to order some telephones. So I dropped an email to our sales rep at a particular company and he ordered them for me. (We have a special corporate account with this company. For reasons that make no sense to me our special corporate price is sometimes much higher than the prices in this company's retail stores; when this happens, I have to complain to our sales rep and he manually places the order some way that gets around this problem--what a stupid arrangement. Don't get me started. But that was the deal with these phones.) These are pretty generic basic $25 speakerphones, suitable for placement in a lounge, hallway, or other public area where they may be subject to vandalism or theft.
When my 8 telephones arrived today, they turned out to be non-basic four-line phones with built-in answering machines. At $185 a pop.
I swear, some days I want to lock all my vendors in a room and see who comes out alive.
So, you take a couple of days off work. Should be pretty simple, right? Not a chance.
Within 2 minutes of walking into the office on your first day back, the boss hands you a newspaper clipping without further comment. You recognize the style as that of the police reports of the local paper.
The article explains that one of your coworkers has been arrested for attempting to solicit sex with a minor on the internet. Of course, the 'minor' was actually an adult from one of those groups that goes out baiting traps for people stupid enough to try something like that.
Said coworker is about the last person on your list of people stupid enough to try something like that.
Said coworker is also about the last person on your list of people stupid enough to try something like that from a computer at work.
Admit it - it was you, wasn't it, Anonymous.
OK, not weird I guess. Just stupid.
I ask you, if you are a sales droid, and you're calling people to try to sell your stuff, how many times will you leave a voice mail with the same person, who NEVER returns your call, before you determine that maybe this person doesn't want to buy your product? (I admit it. We have caller ID. I always google outside numbers I don't recognize. This practice has cut the number of cold sales calls I answer waaaaay down.)
I ask you, if you are a sales droid, and you're calling people to try to sell your stuff, how many times will you leave a voice mail with the same person, who NEVER returns your call, before you determine that maybe this person doesn't want to buy your product? (I admit it. We have caller ID. I always google outside numbers I don't recognize. This practice has cut the number of cold sales calls I answer waaaaay down.)
I NEVER answer an outside number I don't recognize, and I don't return calls when a cold calling sales droid leaves a message. Some of them have learned that calling the receptionist and being transferred can sometimes work, so now I don't answer calls from the receptionist. It sucks. I let her leave a message, and then I call her right back if it's actually her calling. I kind of shake my head in admiration at some of them. They don't give up.
I used to work for a software company that made screenwriting and story dev. software.
One day a guy came into our offices and asked me if i knew where he could find an attorney to take his case. He wanted to sue the writers and producers of the film "The Devil's Advocate" because he said they got the story from actual events in his own life.
That would mean he was the son of satan and an attorney. :worried:
. . . I don't return calls when a cold calling sales droid leaves a message.
I will if they're actually selling something I want to buy. It usually doesn't end happily (the last time I did this was when I was looking for a T1, and he told me if I had my network set up properly I really didn't need more than 5 IP addresses) but once in a while something interesting comes of it. My current nemeses are somebody with a training company, and one selling Nortel PBXs.
Some of them have learned that calling the receptionist and being transferred can sometimes work, so now I don't answer calls from the receptionist. It sucks.
On our system if the receptionist transfers the call and then lets it go I still get to see the caller ID of the outside caller. And they usually do this because they can tell it's a sales call and they don't feel an urge to stay on the line and say, "Hi Steve, Mr. Farkleston from Amalgamated Network Widgets is on the line."
...mmmmmmm...amalgamated network widgets....
Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle.
This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here."
You should work in a looney bin, Wolf.
What?
You do?
Oh.
Someone befouled the watercooler
Interesting words chosen...Sounds very Victorian ...
Imagine all of your patients with polite accents and dry humor...
Imagine all of your patients with polite accents and dry humor...
I'm saving this idea, seems useful.
Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle.
This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times.
Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here."
A co-worker?
No, because the coworkers don't make a big deal of it when they piss in the water cooler.
I cashiered last night and we were at a low point in business. One man came up bought coffee and wanted a double chocolate cookie.
Customer:"As if I'm not getting fat enough on all the chocolate I've been eating"
Me, "Chocolate's an aphrodesiac, so it can't be all bad"
Customer,"Well in that case I'll take the whole stack in case I get lucky other than with my hand."
Me: start to laugh, register what he just said, choke laugh, finish his transaction. "Thank you have a good night"
Customer: "Oh I will if what you say is true"
OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me.
You started it. After all, you're more than pretty, yes?
Edit: Preemptively striking and obliterating any "she's 'asking' for 'it'" comments: STFU.
>pretty girl parries self destructive remark with vaguely sexual positive comment ~= flirting.
Or, I'm just full of crap.
Nevermind. pput me on ignore. Sorry.
I guess it was sorta sexual, but aphrodesiac doesn't always have to be sexual (does it?). I don't think I'm pretty. BTW screenname actually has to do w/ a quote from one of my fave books...The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Besides who talks about masterbating in response to flirting (which I sorta was doin I guess...but its a part of my job)?
Don't be sorry, I'll not judge you harshly.
but aphrodesiac doesn't always have to be sexual (does it?)
aph·ro·di·si·ac (ăf'rə-dē'zē-ăk', -dĭz'ē-) pronunciation
adj.
Arousing or intensifying sexual desire.
n.
Something, such as a drug or food, having such an effect.
[Greek aphrodīsiakos, from aphrodīsiā, sexual pleasures, from Aphrodītē, Aphrodite.]
Pretty much.
Ah. Well I guess I just heard as being something that makes you feel better....I dunno.
Thank you for the clarification.
Also true, but less specifically so.
OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me.
what the hell is Bruce doing in texas?
Photo of crazy mike
The one on the left looks uncomfortably like my ex-boss's daughter.
MTP, I always trade quips with the coffee baristas. They're generally at least twenty years younger than me.
(If they wore togas would they be baristae?)
I may have to call the pound on our own client. God this is so stupid. Why are people so stupid? I'm not brilliant........but damn this stuff is so unbelievable sometimes. She's an engineer for god's sakes.....???? I just don't know. WTF?
I am here to prove that if you aren't confused you have no idea what's really going on...
Cicero, maybe she works for WTF group.
Cicero, maybe she works for WTF group.
LOL!
Oh and the truth is so much worse than fiction.......:headshake
This brings me to: why did I
draft and
sign that non-disclosure statement? sigh......
Someone was actually appreciative of the help offered.
Wonders will never cease.
Someone was actually appreciative of the help offered.
Wonders will never cease.
Out of nowhere? They must be up to something.....
:D
Well-that's how it is at my work...sneaky so and so's.
We're having a perfectly good night at work, see ...
Then, all of a sudden 8 police officers are in my foyer saying they were called for a fight involving 15-20 people on our center hallway. That's every officer on duty for our local department.
As it turns out, there wasn't any fight, but there was a psychotic guy who called 911.
I got to see what "the riot act" actually looks like.
I also got to see that our police department really cares about us.
Once when I was working at Publix, in HS, a lady that never bathed came in.
Most people left, several threw-up, some from several aisles away as soon as the smell hit them. I am not kidding.
It was a long day, a lot of cleaning-up and two cashiers had to leave.
I have worked some strange jobs and had weird stuff happen in many of them... that sticks out the most because it happened so fast and was so "mundane" in a very odd kinda' way. She just smelled bad, but it messed-up the whole store for a half-a-day.
Teaching conversational English in Japan occasionally leaves one trying to make conversation with wierdos who aren't really into learning English, they're just so desperate for someone to talk to because everyone who isn't being paid has already run away ...
There was the chap who could leave for work within two minutes of the alarm going off. What? No breakfast, no toothcare. Dressing? Nope, he sleeps in his work clothes! Full suit and tie. Apparently they have a "special architecture" so they don't get rumpled. Was this why the wife had left him? Or was it his pet snake roaming about the house? I didn't ask.
Or the trend for shirts with English text on them, normally so garbled as to be meaningless. But there was one beginner student whose T-shirt clearly stated "ALL YOU YOUNG C**TS" but who had no idea what it meant. Now, I cannot speak Japanese, and explaining new words usually involves mime or drawing pictures... not this time. "Number one bad word!" seemed to cover it.
But there was one beginner student whose T-shirt clearly stated "ALL YOU YOUNG C**TS" but who had no idea what it meant.
All the young cunts
Live it now, Cos there ain't much to die for!
Once when I was working at Publix, in HS, a lady that never bathed came in.
Most people left, several threw-up, some from several aisles away as soon as the smell hit them. I am not kidding.
I had no idea that normal people would puke when exposed to that.
I deal with it at least couple times a week, so I've not got the same level of sensitivity.
I have been around people who did not/could not bathe as well... this was different. I think she was sick, or had sores or something. It was bad, very bad, from far away. It was like nothing I have ever come across since. I have worked with the homeless, been hospitalized many times, etc.
I can't explain it.
Someone was actually appreciative of the help offered.
Wonders will never cease.
Hey!
Do I detect a note of surprise? I am
wounded. As a net consumer of help offered recently, I make it a point to express my appreciation.
If I have been remiss in this honor, I sincerely apologize. I am thankful. Thank you.