Q&A
Ok heres the deal.
give a yes or no answer to the previous question (only yes or no, no "well kinda but it didnt go all the way in" crap, you either did it or you didnt) then leave a question of your own. it may be a normal question or something gross and disgusting (prefered).
ill start the questions rolling
eg.
have you ever eaten your own toe nail?
no
have you ever caught someone spying on you naked?
no
have you ever caught someone naked spying on you?
no
I dont care if anybody sees me nood.
has anyone snuck up on you while you were shitting?
no
I dont care if anybody sees me nood.
has anyone snuck up on you while you were shitting?
No.
Ever had your ass pinched?
Yes
Have you ever taken a shit outside, on the ground?
Yes
Have you ever talked on the phone while at the same time having sex?
Yes
have you ever had sex while posting on the Cellar?
NO
have you ever posted naked whilst shitting?
No.
Have you ever claimed you were selling really good shit when it was actually just crap?
Yes.
Have you ever bought just crap, after you were promised it was really good shit?
yes!
are you the one that sold it to me?!
YES
are you the one that still owes me money??
Maybe.
Did you sell me one of those lemons, too?
Bzzzzztttt!!! I'm sorry, Yes or No are the only acceptable answers. -5 points.
Do you want your five points back?
NO
Have you ever had a job that would have given you the chance to pull off a really nice crime - say at least $100,000 or so, be over the border in Mexico before anyone ever noticed it, and day dreamed about how you'd pull it off for your next 3 work shifts?
yeppers , but it required a heavy lift helecopter
have you ever taken a leak in a public place , like in a crowd ??
Yes, but I was 1. Have you ever been pissed on by someone in a crowd?
no
Have you ever jumped down an elevator shaft ??
no
Have you ever jumped in an elevator right as it stops to feel like you are falling?
Yes, in the Hancock Building.
Have you ever jumped someone else's shit?
Yes.
Have you ever been nice to someone but then later wished you had taken their head clean off when you had the chance?
yes have you ever punched someone in the face?
No.
Have you ever moved a very drunk person while they were asleep, so they'd freak when they woke up?
no
(it has happened to me though and I did freak out!)
have you ever had a dream in which you fought and made up with a person you have issues with in real life, and upon waking realised you no longer felt any animosity towards them?
NO
Have you ever been awakened by your partner trying to strangle you in his/her sleep?
NO (I tend to sleep with relatively sane people)
Have you ever woke up in a different room than where you fell asleep and wondered how the heck you got there?
yes (passed out at a beach, woke up in my bed...long story)
have you ever been so drunk you had tunnel vision and couldnt stop touching a girls arse?
No. (being a girl of course)
have you ever had sex while driving a car?
No (not while I was doing the driving, anyway)
Have you ever squeezed something out of your body and then smelled it?
yes every morning
have you ever wondered (or know) which cellarite is the dirtyest in bed?
no
Have you ever cleaned out someone else's ears for them?
Yes
Have you ever thrown up on someone?
NO (I tried but they dodged)
Have you ever been french kissed by a dog?
yes (or at least she kissed like a dog lapping peanut butter)
have you ever broken the law purely for the thrill of breaking the law?
Yes
Have you ever been arrested?
no.
because in mexico the cops are so crooked they just make you pay a hefty fine.
did you just touch my ass?
NO
Did you ever run away from home when you were a kid?
No.
Ever get caught breaking into your old elementary school to snoop around and steal chalk after it was permanently closed? (I know, I'm such a rebel...)
No.
Did you ever have sex on the sink in the men's bathroom at SuperSubway?*
*or, similar sandwich shop
no
did you ever pick your nose and eat it?
No
Did you ever get caught jerking off in a closet?
You never picked your nose and ate it? I challenge.
You never picked your nose and ate it? I challenge.
Not that I recall, counsellor. I understand that I am under oath.
Let's rephrase the question.
Do you know what boogers taste like? If you ever picked your nose and ate it, I submit that you will remember the taste. (I do, and it's been well over 30 years.)
What else do you not remember from age 5 to age 12?
no, but my dad knocked on the bathroom door and told me to "stop playing with yourself" when I was like 13.
When someone wants to change lanes in front of you, do you ever just let them in without cussing under your breath?
Yes, frequently, unless they're pushy about it.
Have you ever rear-ended someone, causing them to stop and get out of their car, called them nasty names, and threatened to run them over because they cut you off?
BZZZZZZT! Two replies made at the identical same time! Prosecution will please rephrase question!
(I refer to Undertoad and Mr. Noodle - Jinx stole a march on me as I was originally posting this response)
Have you ever rear-ended someone, causing them to stop and get out of their car, called them nasty names, and threatened to run them over because they cut you off?
No.
Have you ever anonymously helped someone in some way, so that they might not even know they are being helped? (Like putting a coin in an expired meter for a stranger when a parking cop is coming?)
Yes.
Have you ever seen a cervix first hand and closeup?
Yes.
Have you ever tried anal sex?
ooooh Yes!!!
Have you ever wanted to be a Prostitute?:redface:
Let's rephrase the question.
Do you know what boogers taste like? If you ever picked your nose and ate it, I submit that you will remember the taste. (I do, and it's been well over 30 years.)
Mr. Boogey-eater,
Other than bringing up some post-nasal drip, or schnocking back a full nose when there's no tissue available, and hacking a loogey, I have not tasted mucous. I will go further and state, for the record, I am skeeved by snot and snot-like substances, almost to the point of phobia. I am paranoid that I have boogers hanging out of my nose and people are laughing at them - that's why I pick. But I do not eat. I have not, do not, and will not voluntarily eat boogeys. When you ate yours, did you chew it up? Yum-yum?
ooooh Y
es!!!
So... what's the next question, fargon?
Have you ever wanted to be a Prostitute?:redface:
no. i just kinda fell into it.
have you ever received anal sex?
NO
Isn't that a repeat Question? :eyebrow:
no
*the other one being have you ever tried it, which could have been both giving and receiving*
do i look fat in this?
Yes.
Have you ever met someone in real life, that you first met online?
no
Ever run half a mile in the hot sun trying to get to a toilet and crap yourself sitting down?
ummm...no
ever wondered who gave you the rash?
Nope. It was Slang. He caught it in the Philippines.:worried: But not from Luisa.
Did you ever have to fight off somebody's dog which was trying to sniff your crotch?
........Did you ever have to fight off somebody's dog which was trying to sniff your crotch?
Yes.
Have you ever worn an bicycle inner tube while overseas....just to make
sure? :)
Yes
Have you ever smuggled something across a dangerous national border?
Yes. Have you ever been strip searched?
No
Have you ever searched a stripper?
No.
Have you ever stripped a searcher?
NO
Have you ever gone to see a male stripper?
*ahem*
YES!
Have you ever flashed an officer of the law to get out of a speeding ticket?
Yes (Flashed my pearly whites. It worked. She gave me a warning.)
Have you ever started a fire that got out of control?
No.
Have you ever had a threesome?
Yes.
Have you ever participated in an orgy?
how many does it take to make an orgy?
how many does it take to make an orgy?
I'd say nine--4 girls, 4 guys and YOU.
then no.
have you ever rubbed one out while driving?
Driving in real life or does a video game count?
Then no.
Have you ever stolen something from your employer (besides time)?
Then no.
Have you ever stolen something from your employer (besides time)?
OMG, yes. Turns out, it was a felony.
Have you ever lied FOR NO REASON?
yes. Have you ever tried to fart and made poopies instead?
yes (blessed be the 1st dry fart after the squits)
have you ever 'spackled' a toilet stall at a public place and left it?
NO (ick)
Have you ever seriously contemplated the fact that you might REALLY be insane?
No...don't need to think too much about it.
Have you ever seriously contemplated whether or not someone else has lost their marbles?
Yes.
Have you ever been the only person who thought something should be done about the aforementioned nutcase so that everybody in their family had an excuse to turn on you instead? (Mari is inelligible for this one)
(I'm cheating, but no, I know for certain that I'm not 100% sane. I have the paperwork to prove it, too.)
Back on track.
No. But I have thought that something needed to NOT be done, so as to continue diverting their family from myself.
Have you ever gotten inordinately annoyed at a TV Show/Movie because they mis-represented an insanity that you are very familiar with? (Either through personal experience, or by being close to someone with personal experience)
Yes. Frequently.
Have you ever sent a gushing, adolescent fan letter to anyone famous, after you were out of adolescence?
Yes. Sometimes we end up corresponding but then I accidentally say something bizarre and end up feeling they must think I am insane.
Have you ever waited in a line to get someone's autograph?
No.
Have you ever heard a songbird chirping in the rain at 2am and wondered if someone was playing a joke on you
No
Ever have an orgasm in a classroom?
Yes.
Have you ever been the only person who thought something should be done about the aforementioned nutcase so that everybody in their family had an excuse to turn on you instead? (Mari is inelligible for this one)
Hey! No fair! :D
Back on track:
NO
Have you ever had an orgasm in church?
Nope *lightning strike*
<--- but yer definately asking the wrong person ;)
Have you ever streaked a public place? (but I guess streaking and public place is implied :) )
No
Have you ever ate out of a trashcan?
No.
Have you ever had an orgasm in a trashcan?
No
Have you ever checked out a library book with NO intention of ever returning it?
NO (although I've ended up not returning some for various reasons :blush: )
Have you ever checked out a bunch of books on someone else's card and returned them overdue just for spite?
no
have you ever had an orgasm in a library because you returned overdue books that belonged to a crazy person in your family that wrote letters to famous people?
Yes.
Have you ever lied in an answer to this thread?
no.
do you floss regularly?
yes
Have you ever been embarrassed during sex by choking on a pubic hair?
No (wasn't embarrassing)
Do you trim your pubic hair?
Yes, with a weedwacker.
Okay, that was a lie. No, I do not trim my bush.
Do you ever feel like horrible things happening somewhere else to some other faceless people doesn't affect you at all?
yes
Have you stopped beating your wife?
No.
Did you have sex with that woman?
Yes.
Have you ever committed robberyb against a McDonalds?
well, have ya?
No.
Should the rules be changed for this thread such that no one can answer until it is yes?
No
I was toying with the idea that the question you ask should have the same answer as you just posted above. Even if that's not the way it's played some of the responses are a lot funnier if you read them with that assumption.
Do you still give food you don't like to the dog with the excuse that you're spoiling him rather than admit you don't really like liver?
yes.
Do you still lie to yourself RE: your own (deluded) importance?
It isn't possible...I *am* that important. Humpf. Delusional, indeed.
I mean...yes! I am deluded.
Do you ever wish that something bad would happen to an ex?
Yes. But only as a wake-up call, heh heh
Do you rationalize about slacking off and not getting anything meaningful done at work because you don't like your job or your employer?
duh... yes.
Have you ever overcharged your employer?
Yes, but they deserved it for underpaying me previously.
Have you ever plotted revenge against an employer?
no. I'm self employed.
Did you ever wonder if being self employed really IS better?
No. Writing that check for medical insurance of $845 per month can change your mind quickly.
Have you ever gone to bed with your employer?
yes
last time my gf was on vacation.
yes, i was with your gf last time she was on vacation
have you ever smoked so much choof that you hallucinate a tv commercial that wouldnt come out for 2 weeks?
no... don't smoke it
have you ever forgotten to add the question on this thread following the answer due to PWI?
I did
no (also i cant stand smoking it at all anymore)
have you ever started a thread on the cellar just to see if you could get more than 10 pages so it looks like youve made a difference to the best forum on the net?
NO
Do your friends affectionately call you, "Suck Up"? ;)
NO
Do your friends affectionately call you, "Suck Up"? ;)
No. Never.... Anyway, I don't have friends anymore...just wife and kids.
Have you ever decided to duck out work to work on something else?
Yes, and I got caught too :blush: I called in sick so that I could take a part in a movie that was being filmed in Albuquerque. Then I had to explain to everybody how I managed to show up in the Movie of the Week.
Have you ever caused an accident in the office which was so spectacular or messy that the story will go down in folklore? Extra points if the building had to be evacuated.
No
Is that a banana in your pocket?
No. It's a plantain.
Have you ever eaten a deep-fried Twinkie?
No, but I would probably enjoy doing so.
Do you actually like cole slaw, or do you only eat it because you get it free with your sandwich?
yes.
does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
yes...
do you randomly call out other people's names during sex?
No
Have you ever had your back hair waxed?
no
have you ever had someone elses mail sitting in your house for a days with the intention of walking down the street to put it in their mail box but then wondered what could be inside and openned it and it actually had money in it?
No Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?
yes, and she wore a blue dress.
have you ever gone anywhere in drag?
Yes (halloween party - I felt free :blush: )
Do you think the Drew Carey Show was funny?
no
Don't you hate his glasses?
No, they work for his facial structure.
Do you swear in front of your mother?
fuck yeah
will you marry me?
I thought you'd never ask. Can I bring me mum?
yes, if you feel that strongly about flowers, but I always thought roses were more romantic.
Have you ever claimed a food allergy because you just really don't like something ?
no, i really am allergic to pumpkin. took years for people to believe me though.
will humans wipe themselves out?
Yes, but hopefully they'll wipe themselves off, first.
Have you ever had so much green creme de minthe that the next day your shit was green?
No.
Did you ever put off cleaning your bathroom for six months?
yes
Ever had to much GoldShlager and woken up with a gold tooth the next morning ??
No
Have you ever played strip poker with someone(s) of the opposite sex?
Yes
Have you ever been skinny-dipping?
YES
Have you ever been woken up by a cowboy who politely tips his hat and then says "sorry ma'am but I do believe you are trespassing on my ranch?"
No
Have you ever left your house in the morning and forgotten where you parked your car?
no
Have you ever gotten into your can and forgotten where your house was?
Yes (i assume you meant *car* but if you meant a *can* of beer then, well, Yes to that too.
ever been wrongly accused by the law?
yes (and i meant car -- o cna't tpye)
Have you ever been RIGHTLY accused by the law?
yes (riding on the back of a train that just happened to have undercover cops on it)
have you ever answered yes or no to a post to admit that you wet yourself frequently?
ahh, no. wait! i mean, yes? i'm not sure, i was on the moon. . . . with steve.
have you ever had the feeling that you've been here before?
no
have you ever eaten tongue?
no
have you ever eat....hang on...havent i been here before?
yes
have you ever wished on a star?
Yes.
Have you ever wished on a truckload of hay?
no.
Have you ever wished FOR a truckload of hay?
No
Have you ever wished for a boatload of money?
YES (every fuckin' day.)
Have you ever won anything substantial? (not the $20 scratch-off)
Yes
Have you ever thrown up off of a third floor deck, or higher?
NO
Have you ever been thrown off the third deck or higher?
no
ever wish you'd never met someone?
most assuredly, yes.
have you ever been in a hot air balloon?
no, but i've had to dodge a few
ever had dreams shattered by a loved one?
yes.
ever had a blessing fall into your lap, figuratively speaking.
YES
Ever had what you thought was a blessing turn into THE BEAST FROM HELL?
YES
Have you ever been smart enough to [I]shitcan the beast,[/I] right from jumpstreet?
pssssstttttt..... I guess I'll never learn.
No.
Have you ever left the house wearing two different shoes?
Every day. A left and a right.
Have you ever wished you had worded something differently?
no, i mean yes (ps. nice answer)
have you ever had something in your teeth all day and none of your friends pointed in out?
YES, but probably not what you think
Have you ever reported someone to the IRS just for grins?
Every day. A left and a right.
Have you ever wished you had worded something differently?
Not until right now, Capn. :lol:
As you were.
No.
Have you ever given up on something you formerly believed very strongly?
Yes...I was anti-gun until a few years ago.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, but I do believe that the infatuation referred to can become love.
Do you have a gut?
yes, (in my gut)
have you ever been to legoland?
No.
Do you crave the smell of Play-Doh?
Not often.
Is there really nothing like the smell of NaPalm in the morning?
Yes, Victory
Is one of your testicles (men) / breasts (women) noticably bigger than the other?
No.
Do you have an amusing birthmark?
yes? (i have a birthmark on my leg so i guess it's got a stand up career)
have you been to Kauai?
No.
Do you think 'beauty marks' a-la Cindy Crawford's mole make then more attractive?
[SIZE="1"](They annoy me, personally. Take Matt Damon. He's cute, but that thing on his face would drive me nuts.)[/SIZE]
No
Do you want to see a birthmark on someone's genitals?
yes (please post picture, or video)
when a woman says no, does she really mean yes?
No.
When you say, "i love you, baby" do you mean it?
Yes
Is Joe Jackson correct saying that "it's different for girls"
No.
When you say, "i love you, baby" do you mean it?
ill take that as a yes, i love you baby.
carry on...
Yes
Is Joe Jackson correct saying that "it's different for girls"
Yes.
Is she really going out with him?
no (how can i answer "who is we?" with a yes or no?)
can i answer "who is we?" with a yes or no?
Yes (depending on the puctuation like "WHO is WE?" OK, its a stretch, but you could)
Have you ever just decided to leave town and vanished without telling a soul?
Yes, but I chickened out and ended up telling people.
Have you ever drank away your sorrows?
NO (sorrow always floats, it refuses to drown in any amount of alcohol)
Have you ever tried to fix it so, "They'll be SORRY!"
YES - (but it backfired)
Have you ever tried to turn the tables and have it blow up in your face?
Yes.
Do you ever see someone's post and before you read it you're already screaming in your head "OH SHUT UP ALREADY"?
:lol2: [SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]YES!![/COLOR][/SIZE]
Ever wax your upper lip?
No. Never waxed, ever.
Have you ever fallen asleep on your keyboard?
Yes
Ever wax your nether lips?
Yikes, no. Upper lip was enough to make my eyes water. Prolly pass out if any others were waxed.
Ever wax your eyebrows?
Yes - I prefer the pain in one lump sum than pecking away with tweezers! OUCH!!
Ever shave your head?
Yes - but just partially -- for 12 sutures ;) -- kinda resembled a football
do you trim your nose hairs?
No (I pluck)
Do you trim your chest hair?
No.
Do you trim your pubic hair?
Yes.
Do you bathe more than once a day?
Sometimes.
do you ever think labrat is gunning for you?
No
Do you think Brianna came through on her promise of oral sex for the right answer to her cucumber math problem?
No ?
I dont know Brianna well enough, but, being a fellow female...I wouldnt put out oral sex for a maths answer unless I already wanted to :redface:
Have you ever been drunk enough to think a lampost was attractive?
Yes
Right before I was arrested.
Ever had your car towed away from a no parking zone?
Yes
Ever imagine the many ways to get revenge on the fuckers who towed your car from a poorly posted no parking zone at 1:00 AM?
unfortunately yes.
would somebody please come bail me out?
No
Have you ever been ass raped in prison?
No. *uses soap-on-a-rope*
Ever had to bail a friend/relative out of the pokey?
No.
Ever wish you had more exciting friends?
Yes.
Isn't the idea of a "Friends" movie unnecessary?
Yes! Not only unnecessary, but unpalatable.
Are you prepared for tornadoes?
At all times! I mean, Yes.
Ever see one up live and personal?
yes.
Are you frightened of bad weather?
No. But I live in Southern California.
Do you use both left and right "shift" keys?
There's a right one?
Do you sleep on both sides of the bed if given the chance?
No. Only the middle half.
Would you consider marrying someone outside your own religious faith?
(Assuming you have one of your own, of course.)
Yes.
Would you convert to a religion that you didn't really believe in for love?
No
would you consider marrying someone of a different ethnic background?
No.
(And path of salvation is NOT lined with whale penises, no matter what you say. Pagan wench.)
Would you stop drinking beer if it were proven beyond a reasonable doubt to be carcinogenic?
Yes.
Would you still drive a car if you had to wear a helmet?
Yes.
If your best friend were stuck in a stockade, would you slap his or her ass as you walked by?
Twice.
Would you pelt said friend with rotten tomatoes?
Yes
That's the way friends do one another.
Have you ever played 'hubcap'?
No, I don't know 'hubcap', is it fun?
Did you ever pretend to be the opposite gender?
No
Have you ever been confused for someone of the opposite gender?
no
Has anyone ever assumed you were homosexual?
yes
Have you ever considered bisexuality?
Define 'considered' (yes)
Have you ever been questioned regarding your political affiliation?
Yes.
Have you ever been questioned about your religious affiliation during a job interview?
Yes
chick-fil-a is a christian-based company and they specifically ask..
(this from the offical company site: "Our official statement of corporate purpose says that we exist "to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.") Can I get an AMEN!!
Have you ever lied about your religious affiliation to avoid an argument?
No.
When the Jehovahs Witnesses knock on your door, do you slam it in their face or politely take The Watchtower?
Yes
No
Depends on my mood and level of bitchiness at that particular moment.
Have you ever invited the JW's into your home just to argue with them?
Woohoo, we don't get any JWs around here (being classified under cult and all, of course). So no.
Do you pick (verbal) fights with people just so you could argue with them?
No.
Did anyone ever try to start an argument with you and you just said "I don't care anymore, I'd just rather retire at this point"?
Yes.
Have you every pointed and laughed out loud at Mormans on bikes?
no
have you ever laughed at someone else's misfortune?
no.
have you ever laughed so hard that you couldn't breathe and thought you were going to suffocate, but kept laughing anyway?
Yes.
Have you ever been to a psychic?
Yes ...such an attractive look(not!).
I'm seriously starting to doubt I am the nice person I thought I was. My answers would of been different to the last few q's.
Does a *snort* ever sneak out when you are laughing, then other people start to snort as well and you dont know if they are really snorters or just making fun of you?
No. They make fun of me outright.
Do you ever giggle?
Yes, and others have pointed it out to me.
Did you ever snarf a drink while giggling?
Yes
Ever blown milk thru your nose while laughing ?
Yes.
Have you ever Super Glued your fingers together?
yes
Have you ever super glued sombody elses ( you choose here ) togather ??
No, wanted to, yes.
Have you ever known someone to stick inappropriate objects in inappropriate locations.
(Let's see who's mind is gutterfied)
yeppers , and it got him out of the Marines .
Have you ever driven over 100 mph ?
Yes!!
Actually, that could be a-whole-nother thread. A Pavlova egg being the most recent.
Ever had a trip to the ER to have an inappropiate (or appropiate) obejct removed from somewhere?
Ooops...scrap the newbie response :D
Yes, but not with bullets.
Ever keep talking with someone you don't really like just because it was easier than telling them to piss off?
Yes.
Ever lie to a medical professional?
yes. i said the rash was from a new soap i was using
ever gambled with something more important than money?
Sanity, on a daily basis, it's called employment.
Playing the powerball tonight?
HELL YES !!!!
Ever been stabed ???
No
Ever purposely hide something in a body cavity?
nooo...
every hide something in someone elses body cavity
Yes (then I unhid it, then I hid it again, then I unhid it again...)
Has a friend of yours ever shown you a naked picture of his pregnant wife?
no
if offered would you LOOK at the picture of your friends' naked wife?
Yes.
While you're naked, would you take a picture of your friends pregnant wife?
no
while youre pregant, would you take a photo of your friends naked wife?
it depends
While you're taking a picture of your friends pregnant wife, would you be naked?
no
could timothy theopolus thrinkum thrankum thread three hundred and thirty three thousand thick and thin thistle threads?
Yes
Does my sister Sally sell sea shells by the sea shore?
No.
Is the Sixth Sheik's Sixth Sheep Sick?
No
Do the annoying audiogalaxy assholes amaze anyone?
YES - it amazes me that ass****s actually DO run in packs. They never told us that on the Animal Planet.
Does it surprise you that Jochser got banned?
No.
Will the body serve as a warning to other would-be jammers?
No, there's at least one more suicide bomber in the pack.
Do you think Flint is the alpha male of the AG pack?
Um...um...
Do you know all the words to "Rappers Delight?"
no, none
Do you like pecan pie?
YES! I love it!
Do you listen to Tenacious D?
YES YES and YES. (and if you don't, you should)
Do you use your blinker ALL the time? (if you don't, you should)
No, I only use it while driving, and then only while signalling turns.
Do you need five cups of coffee to wake up in the morning?
Nope, just a half of one.
Does your herb garden contain any?
No - we don't grow nys in England
Have you ever told your mother-in-law how nice she is?
No... never been married, so, then, no in-laws. But if any person is nice I let them know that I appreciate it.
Do you believe aliens from other planets have ever visited Earth?
Yes. No. Ok, yes. :worried:
Do you LOVE lemon yogurt?
No
but I love vanilla yogurt.
Have you ever been so ashamed of something you did that you stayed in bed for days?
(*squeezes orange juice into milk*
Uhhh lemon flavored bacteria?)
NO, never tried it, but will with tiquila
Which country Makes the Best
Absinthe?
TB I beat you...
now answer the Q!!
yeah, lol,
I slipped on a slippery floor I caused, ....and was out of work for months when I boiled all the skin off my left arm, .... from my elbow joint to my fingertips.
Now back to the Absinthe thing...
Which country makes the best?
TB...
Ok heres the deal.
give a yes or no answer to the previous question (only yes or no, no "well kinda but it didnt go all the way in" crap, you either did it or you didnt) then leave a question of your own. it may be a normal question or something gross and disgusting (prefered).
That's not a yes or no question. :D
Maybe
Have you ever thrown up in a bar?
Nope,
You ever break the RULES?
Yes, but luckily I had some superglue with me
Did you ever jump out a plane without a parachute?
no , but I have Helo repelled .
have you ever eaten a Balute ??
No, but I have a copy of the masterful visual soundscape dvd named Baraka
Have you had escargot raw?
noppers ( NO )
Ever eaten an ANT ???
Nope
Have you ever eaten an edible clothing item? (ie, undies or bra?)
yes !!!
Ever seen frogs falling from the sky ???
Not recently
Are you in love?
Yes
Did you ask for any particular reason?
Well...yeah, I did, but it's not what you think. Neither would you be able to guess the reason. It was not just a toss of the salad.
Have you ever used an abreviation in your everyday speach that you would only normally use typing on your computer?(IMO, BRB LOL, etc etc)
NO
Have you ever typed everyday speech on your computer?
No - never the two words next to each other, though I have typed them separately
Can you hold your breath for more than five minutes?
Yes, when I blow up a balloon and pinch the end.(but i usually bounce it away from me)
Have you ever grown cultures in biology from tongue scrapings?
No , but other cultures have been grown from other samples of me at one time or another
Have you ever gone down an elevator shaft with OUT an elevator ??
Yes, but was a weird feeling thinking of the cab above you might not stop (there's a 7 or 9 foot area/shaft below the bottom floor the elevator stops)
Have you ever surfed on top an elevator?
no
Have you ever sat ina fox hole and let a 52 ton tank roll over you ??
Yikes! No way, zipster!!
Have you ever looked in the mirror so long you didn't recognize yourself?
Hell NO
Have you ever laid at the end of a runway and let the jets land over ya?
(scratch this post, it was outta link)
no
Have you ever gotten your face so dirty that you didn't reconize your self when you looked in a mirror ???
do red wings count? Yes?
have you ever floated on blow up rafts with gators?
NO
Have you ever been so sleep deprived that you start hallucinating and you KNOW its a hallucination, but you can't make it go away?
Yes.
Have you ever worked 36 hours straight? In the last year?
Yes , this time in Iceland I got snowed in on a guard post for 29 hrs , and wellll ,,,,,
Ever had the NCIS envestagate you ???
No.
Would you feel comfortable using the word "postmodern" in conversation as if you knew what it meant?
No, but I have recently been subjected to someone who would...
Have you ever tried writing your name on your forehead and then seen the result?
no - but now I want to try it.
Have you ever written on someone else's forehead whilst they were asleep or passed out?
Oh yeah
Have you ever duct taped someone to their bed while sleeping?
(I have)Yep - queen of the drunken practical joke here.
have you ever put a square of duct tape on a cat's forehead?
(you have NEVER seen a cat move backwards so damn fast)
Yes, but it didn't produce the expected result (and I don't know how you get text to follow a picture, so):
Has your best friend ever been bitten the arse by a snake and you've had to prove just how good a friend you are?
No
Have you ever told your best friend that a snake bit your ass, to see just how good a friend he/she is?
No
Would you actually be willing to suck the venom from your best friends ass, if he/she was bitten in the ass????
No. (it won't work) Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- W.C. Fields
Would you piss on a friends sea urchin sting?
Yes, I'd also pee on their jellyfish stings
Would you be able to put up with two metrosexual rommates two years in a row?
NO
Would you come help me pack?
No
Would I lend you a gun?
Yes, i need its' rifle-stock, to knock loose nails (on my exterior decking) back in place
You ever lit up coffee creamer?
NO
Did you ever throw a few can of red spray paint into a bonfire?
Yes, me and my brother threw a can of spray paint (not sure of the color) into a fire once, when we were visiting our relatives in the country, and it blew up like a damn hand grenade when we were about twenty feet away. Luckily we didn't get any shrapnel in us, or our eyes put out. Kids are stupid.
Have you ever made a "potato gun"?
Yes, I will.
Have you ever replaced your work-mates suppy (sorry about the repetitions) of coffee creamer with corn starch mixed with water?
No.
Have you ever switched the regular for decaf?
Never!!!
Have you ever done anything illegal online?
I don't think so.
Have you ever done anything illegal offline?
That's a loaded question. Most of us, I assume, could write a book.
Speaking of which, have you ever written a book?
No, but I've written plenty of short stories.
Have you ever burned a book?
No.
Have you ever burned an article of clothing?
Yes
Do you think you are a pyromanic?
Yeah, I got some Anne Rice & Aleister Crowley backed up on a CD.
Otherwise, just religious books after digesting them.
Oops, had to edit this... never burnt clothing intentionally
Oops...had to edit this twice.....No, i'm not a pyromaniac
*Gasp* ..boy you guys are fast!
Are you currently in love? if not, have you ever been in love?
Yes.
Have you ever had surgery?
Yes, 3. All within 8 months.
Have you witnessed a birth (human or otherwise)?
Yes.
Does sleeping in a "wet spot" ever bother you?
Yeppers , on a pool table . ( There as well )
Glatt how did you jump in front of me ??
Same answer though .
Have you ever ridden in a police car ?
Yes
Were you ever falsely arrested?
No.
Do you say "Bless You" when someone sneezes?
Yes.
Have you ever used a term or made a pop culture reference and the person you were talking to didn't get it because they were too young to remember?
Yes (what was the name of Paul McCartneys first band?)
Were you alive when Kennedy was assasinated?
Yes
Would you rather go hunting with Cheney, or riding with Kennedy?
sorry....
Were you alive when Johnson was shot?
Yes
Would you rather go hunting with Cheney, or riding with Kennedy?
:lol: That one made me laugh.
Sorry lj.
Carry on.
Arte Johnson?
Magic Johnson?
"but ya aint gotsta call me" Johnson?
Someone shot Magic Johnson??
no
not yet
was L.B. Johnson ever shot?
NO, although he should have been.
Do you think Jr. deserves to be shot?
No. Not again. JR was shot once already. It was a whole cliffhanger thing.
Is there a question pending?
No
Can the law of conservation of matter and energy be applied to economics?
Absolutely not, because both sides of a free transaction perceive an increase in value, not a conservation, and that is pretty much the whole point.
Any reason to pay any attention to the Phils this year?
No, I never pay attention to the Phils any year(who are they anyway? Relatives of Prince Philip?)
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight?
No.
When you get up in the morning will it be too hard to bite?
ahem... Yes -- Shades of Priapus!
Are you a morning person?
no
(its too early to drink
Do you drink before 5:00 PM?
Yes. Often.
Ever get drunk in a Texas bar?
every chance i get.
what was that substance you poured over me last night?
Yes or no questions please.
Have you ever been close to dying?
yes.
will that substance you poured over me last night wash off?
no
have you ever fantasized about someone pouring something on you?
uh. . . . yes!
if you could, would you do it again?
The pouring thing? No.
Would you two like to be left alone for a while?
I dunno. Who are you leaving me alone with? I believe Thrillhouse is a girl and Captn Howdy may have a GF, so NO to the two above.
Would you like for ME to leave you alone for a while?
No.
Have you ever moved and when your stuff arrived and was unpacked it wasn't yours?
no
Have you ever came 'home' and your shit was piled up in the floor nearest the main exit/entry?
YES! It sucked!
Do you like moving?
no
well that depends.
Do you have a garden?
*sigh* alas, no.
do you talk in your sleep?
yes... or so I'm told.
Do you believe in the afterlife?
No
Do you believe in the afterdeath?
No
Are we all made of starstuff?
Yes, in an ultimately and roundabout way. =D
Have you seen a shooting star?
Yes. Of course.
Have you seen the Northern Lights?
Yes
Ever seen a sun dog ??
yes
Is it too much to expect tact and decorum from the media?
YES!
Do you pick your nose and eat it?
no
Do you scratch your arm pits then sniff it ??
eww no!
Is it sunny where you are?
Yes.
Do you live in a condominium?
no
Can you squash aphids with your bare fingers?
no
ever zip your member up in your jeans?
yes
Ever gotten a BJ from a girl with braces and she got TOO in to it and you almost had to get stiches On MR Happy ??
err, No
Ever given a BJ and not been able to control your gag reflux and ..well..I'm sure you can visualise the rest?
NO !!!
Have you ever farted while doing the deed ??
yes.
have you ever farted while doing the deed and then looked at your partner with horror and said, "OMG! did you just fart?" in a really accusatory way? ;)
PS- why is the cellar being slower than molasses in January today?
Bri,
because the servers are tooooo frgnnin busy..... and it ain't even January.. ( but no telling what them bloke/sheilas are doing downunder)
Q: you ever put pantyh053s on your head?
Bzzzz! Foul!!
Tiddy, you didnt answer Bri's q :p
Whats the penalty again? oh crap, I'll make it up.....
2 x Tequila Crudas with the salt taken on some obscure body part :o
@ Ducknuts: I don't know the answer to Bri's question.... I put a condom filled with Chateau Brieanne and Hone in a condom, and stuck my penis in a freezer (although slamming the door acrost it sorta sucked)... We Venture..
YOUr questions,..... ?
NO, you don't need salt, .... just pour the tequila on all body parts... (neck wrinkles, boobie creases, arm pits, and netherworlds)
Q: You ever really WATCH a baseball game?
A: not me
Q: how much burning magnisism does it take to quench a waters' thirst?
However much is in a gatorade?
Does a crickets chirpping speed have anything to do with how warm the summers night is?
Yes
Have you ever been with a partner (long term or not so long term) who made seriously weird noises whilst shagging?
No
Have you ever tried to talk dirty or make seriously weird noises while shagging, and end up laughing because it was totally out of character?
No.
After you eat asparagus, does your pee smell different?
Yes. And it's florescent yellow.
Did you know that if you drink a giant bottle of red Gatorade, your poop will be red?
No, but the US version of *giant* scares me...your beverages over there are friggen HUGE!!
Have you ever fallen over whilst wearing a short skirt and minimal underwear?
yes. (long story, get it??...me neither)
have you ever snorted a fly? either on purpose or accidently
No.
Have you ever intentionally eaten a dragonfly?
no ,
Have you ever eaten an ant ??
yes, when I was little
have you ever eaten poop?
No , but I was standing next to a cattle trailer this one time and heard a cow stomp Verry squishilly , and well i'll let your imagenation fill in the rest :(
Have you ever fallen face first in the mud ??
No, but ass first, in front of the football team in college. (there's a story there)
Would you ever hang-glide?
naked?
yes
Have you ever ridden a bicycle naked ??
Ohhh No!!!!
Ever driven a car naked?
No, I don't ever drive after drinking that much.
Ever masturbated in a car while driving?
Yes. It will actually keep you awake if you have to drive all night :redface:
Have you ever masturbated the driver of a car which was going 70 miles per hour?
..off to google what 70 miles per hour equates to in kms.....
errr..No
Ever been masturbated by a passenger whilst driving at 112kms per hour ?
No, my fares prefer to pay me in cash, although I do give them the option.
Ever pictured your parents having sex?
i have it framed in my room. it was of course the moment that i was fused into existance
ever SEEN your parents having sex? but not with each other?
Yes. Well, just mom (parents are divorced). I would give anything to delete that image from my brain.
Ever had sex in your parents bed?
Parts of me.
Ever played strip trivia on long road trips?
yes.
ever hit a tree at nearly 100km/h because you stuggled to get your tshirt off while playing strip trivia on a long road trip?
No.
Ever do the busboy (or, busgirl) in the giant walk-in freezer?
no
Ever ridden a bicycle for 100miles or more? in one hit/day?
no
ever given an old person a sponge bath?
No.
Ever been given a medical sponge bath by something really attractive?
No.
Ever walked barefoot on a Caribbean beach?
no
have you ever been naked in public?
yes
have you ever wished it weren't so cold?
Yes.
Ever wish it weren't so hot?
Yes.
Do you only answer questions on this thread if you can think of a new question?
yes
have you ever sung a song on stage (karaoke not included)?
Yes.
Have you ever stage dove?
No.
Have you ever run up onstage while the band was playing to kiss a bandmember? And was that band member a Bay City Roller?
NO, i only stage dead horses
You ever kicked a dog?
dammit my post outta link
Bri... NO DON'T Wanna do it.
You ever thought of all the Spice Girls and thought about which one missing?
no...and no
gonna eat that?
Yes.
Do you walk farther than a mile for any reason other than necessity?
Yes
Have you ever walked over 20 miles in less than 8 hours??
Yes
(hiking in philmont, new mexico)
have you ever burned down a couple acres of national forest?
:redface:
No.
Have you ever exacted revenge on someone by telling them the ending (or major plot twist) of a movie that they are excited about going to see?
yes because he was already dead
ever seen the sixth sense?
(note: i have never seen the sixth sense)
Yes, the movie.
Do you see dead people?
No, except in coffins.
Have you ever been exorcised?
No, but I've assisted.
Have you ever danced naked in the rain?
yes
have you ever been so drunk you got sober?
no
have you ever been high on life?
no.
Are you wearing different colored socks?
no--no socks at all
have you ever been down on life?
yes, boy did my jaw hurt after that
have you ever spent a weeks wages in one night of drinking?
Yes
Have you ever "come To " and every body is speaking a foren language ??
Yes. I yelled some very nasty things in Spanish out the window at the momster's dogs when they woke me too early on a Sunday morning and was still so out of it I couldn't understand what everybody was yelling back at me (the family was having breakfast on the patio).
Have you ever woken up in bed with somebody who was speaking a foreign language?
No, I wish. 's better than waking up next to nobody.
Ever cut your lip trying to play guitar?
No.
Ever pose for compromising Polaroids?
Yes n No - I didnt actually willingly pose, though polaroids did eventuate.
Ever make a home porno?
No.
Did you ever really wish hard for something bad to happen to a specific person and it DID?
yes. (i hope it doesnt come back on you bri)
can someone answer my question?
Yes; unless, it was rhetorical.
Can you answer a question with a question and still be in compliance with the thread?
Yes
What would your answer be to the question?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Did you ever get out of a tight situation like this with dignity and grace?
shit... bloody posted at the same time
@ Ducksnuts, ....shitting bloody posts could be a sign of too much using picket fences for dildos.
Q: have you ever asked your lover to perform some disguesting act, and to your amazment knew more than you asked?
Ewww, Tiddy, I'm not a fan of splinters!!
No
Ever been asked to perform an unusual sexual act and be surprised when you saw it on the internet a month later?
no (to being surprised ;))
ever had sex in BOTH positions?
There are two?
'scuse me... carry on.
maybe
both positions at once? which two?
yes
did your # of positions gradually decrease as your marriage matured?
** had to make another post to get my ass off of 1,666. Whew.
yes
do you like movies about gladiators?
YES!! men in skirts rock!!
Do you waste time at work on the net?
yes (but i can't)
would you like to wash my feet?
yes
do they need scrubbing?
No, but licking works, hey Chey?
Does toe jam bother you?
Yes. Ick.
Do ducks really have nuts?
Yes
Are ducks nuts in their scrotums (sroti?)
No - well, speaking from personal experience.
Do shaved nuts remind you of kiwi fruit?
No.
Have you ever spent more than an hour fixing something electronic, such as headphones, that would only cost about $10 to just replace?
no
have you ever riden a horse?
yes.
Do you pee in the shower?
Yes.
Did you ever think the wrong thing, and then say the right thing, which caused someone to do the wrong thing, but for the right reason only to find out that what you thought was right and what you said was wrong, which caused the aforementioned person's action to be inconclusive in regards to whether or not what they did was *actually* for the right reason?
uhhhh....... no..... i'd say......
are you right, and everyone else wrong?
I am often wrong, and appreciate it when people try to set me right.
Is Ridgeplate's current user title 'Zen Laxatives: "This too shall pass..."' not the funniest user title you've seen in a long time?
yes....(replying already...sorry....i'm bored today...)
Q- what did the buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A- make me one with everything.
ok- have you ever skinny-dipped in a river?
No
Is it tasty, Precious?
No
Are you pissed that you haven't won the lotto yet?
yes, actually.
did you just fart?
yes. i decided to fart just after i read that to make my answer true. now if you'll excuse i think i forced it too much
have you ever followed through?
no
have you ever been outside barefoot and stepped in poop?
oooh....yes...and thanks for reminding me....
have you ever called someone a racial slur?
no.
Have you ever said something private to a friend only to have someone hear it that wasn't meant to know what you said?
yes
Have you ever been in public naked?
yes.
Have you ever been in public naked and you were arrested?
Let's answe rthe right questions!
No. (But i would be if i was!)
Have you ever worn handcuffs naked?
yes.
Have you ever ravaged someone wearing handcuffs naked?
Yes
Have you ever wanted to be ravaged whilst wearing handcuffs by the policeperson arresting you?
No
do you have a facination for a person in a uniform?
yes (santa churns my butter)
should i join the airforce?
YES!!!
Will you come visit in your uniform?
i'll come visit in a uniform.
Do you think "swallowing" can be likened to canabalism?
no, it would be likened to a sea food diet.
if a black bird brings black babies and a white bird brings white babies. what kind of bird brings no babies?
A swallow. :p
Am I gullible, or is it good for your skin?
yes you are and ... No, are egg whites good for your skin?
have you been told that 3" is actually 8"?
YES!
Have you been asked if you like pearl necklaces?
No
Do you like pearl necklaces?
no, i like cats.
do you like cats?
yes.
Do you like iguanas?
no iguanas, no reptiles, no one eyed snakes.
Do you love your Mother?
Yes. I mean, NO! I mean, well...on certain days she is very good to me.
Do you love your father?
NO, on any day he is a ******* *******.
Do you have to work today?
yes.
Are you at work right now?
yes
do you love your job?
Yes, but I wished it paid more.
Do you love your car?
no. but i like it......
do you love your life?
It has it's moments...
Do you think Bush is the Anti-Christ? (allegorically speaking)
No
Do you flush the toilet with your foot when using a public restroom?
No, I think there are far better candidates for that out there.
Do you think Americans whine too much?
yes.
do you think Canadians whine too much?
No
Do you think Kenyans laugh too much?
Never heard a Kenyan laugh. So No.
If your ear was a pussy, would you fuck it?
no
do you think french wine costs too much?
Yes
Do you think the French are ungrateful snobs?
Yes
Have you ever met a French person that wasn't arrogant?
Yes
Is a New York minute < 60 seconds?
yes.
are your eyes brown?
Yes
Is Kansas the most boring state you've ever visited?
No.
Have you ever poked anyone in their "brown eye"?
No!
Have you ever seen a shocker?
not sure. what's a shocker?
Well, what I meant was the WSU mascot. The shocker. But as I got to thinking I realized that the term "shocker" could mean a mulititude of different things...like for example. A student would be labeled a shocker, or the two in the goo and one in the poo...could be a shocker.
far out......
oh...then...NO on the mascot thingy....(had no idea)
is plato's allegory of the cave significant to you in some way?
Nope, I just like things that make me (or others) think.
What's the signifigance of twentycentshift?
twentycentshift refers to a paradigm shift. (a pair of dimes is twenty cents.)
kind of corny, but i love the idea of someone being able to change into a better person. it is possible.
the allegory of the cave fits right in with that.
really good story, that one.
It is possible, and something that I think a lot of people need to hear. Good thoughts!
ahhh... I was hoping that it was a reference to
Plato's_RetreatLOL, never heard of Plato's retreat...sounds interesting though.
Back to the questions...
has anyone ever seen a midget riding a horse, in real life and not on google?
No
would you be offended if a midget walked up to you and told you that your hair smelled nice?
No. (at least I'm not smelly)
Would you be offended if I asked you to spank my ass while I yelled out your name?
No. I might like it.
Do you like spanking other people's asses?
No
Have you ever used sterno as a lubricant?
no
does sterno burn your bits when you light it?
**HAHAHAHAHA i just read the last three pages since my last post in one go, that was all gold! **
yes
do you want me to apply lube to your bits with my bits?
Yes
Do you know how to use your bits effectively?
Yes
shall i use kagen to show you?
yes
should everyone watch so they dont miss anything?
yes, bring a camera
Shall I phone a friend?
Yes
Can you use your cellphone camera instead and set up a conference call?
yes
im serious about this, are you?
Yes
Shall we ask somebody to bring a priest?
Yes.
Should we ask the priest to light the sterno in observance of the union between these two bits?
yes
Can someone queue the title track from 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Yes
Should I charge admission?
no
make chacks payable to.....
can i come?
Yes
Should I bring the watermelon?
yes.
should i bring the crisco and plastic sheets?
Yes.
Should I bring the video camera?
yes.
do i need any appliances?
Yes.
Do you have an industrial strength juicer?
oh yeah......
how about an ice-cream scoop?
Yes. I love ice cream.
Do you think saying "naughty bits" is fun and exciting?
No
Who's your buddy...I am, aren't I?
Yes. er well, you can be.
Is your life hectic?
Heck ya!
How much yardage do you think I will need?
Yer mama's a slm millet!
Answer to warch's question...um... yes?
Can we turn the lights off?
I prefer we leave them on.
butter?
now we're talking. yes. lots of toys.
can i bring extra batteries?
can i be one of those toys? :)
Yes, yes. although extra batteries are not needed especially if you're gonna be one of the toys.
Will you make me scream?
that's a promise. (very good answer kvix)
i'll pay for the suite, or should i phrase it as a question- shall i pay for the suite?
Yes
Will there be a mirrored ceiling?
Yes
Will there be cameras so we can post it here and we can all enjoy it?
yes
will the cameras get shots of the mirrors?
Yes
Will UT shoot the video?
yes
will Bri provide fluffing service? :D
Of course!
What's for desert?
that's not a y or n question.
but to answer anyway- you brianna. you are desert.
*embarrassed all to hell* :blush:
Ok, instead of What's for Desert----
Is chocolate for desert?
yes.
and strawberries.
shall we all meet for breakfast breakfast?
yes yes. but only a 5 min break for breakfast. i wanna get straight back into brianna, i mean dessert
can i play the main role?
no. we'll have to share.
will you bring some VB?
yes
will you bring some vodka?
yes
will you bring a barbers chair?
No. Just tequila.
Is somebody going to call the police if we exceed the maximum number of occupants allowed for the room?
yes, they will bring the drugs.
what color shoes are you wearing?
Norty Chey....how can I answer yes or no to that???
But to answer, black :D
Will there be swingers?
no, you should be thankful. ever see swinger websites? ewww
will there be farm animals?
Yes, but only ones with feathers
(and, I have *watched* a couple of swingers parties....they were ..err..interesting)
Do you like to make animal noises?
yes....meow....that was the sound a pussy makes.
do you like to skinny dip?
Yep - nothing like it.
Do you like to be covered in sticky substances?
No.
Will you wash out the jacuzzi, please, after you get finished skinny dipping while covered with sticky substances?
no, it your jacuzzi do it yourself.
may i use you bathroom now?
Yes. It's out back. Be sure to use the hose afterwards ;)
What time does the party start?
as soon as i hose myself off.
wanna be 1st?
No. Gotta boil the utensils first.
Will you make out the guest list?
Yes: the more, the merrier.
Will you make out with everyone on the guest list?
No. I have my own separate list..
Are you planning to put anything in the box?
Yes, NoBoxes is a diversionary tactic.
Have you figured it out yet?
No.
Is that you, soldier?
Ah yes, my favorite student of unconventional thinking.
Do you think that "bits" is an abbreviation for "itsy bitsies"?
No. That's only if written about a male and modified by the word "naughty".
Are we ever going to get all this mess cleaned up and find Griff's goats before he has to leave?
no
we are still talking about having a crazy massive orgy right?
Yes. But...
...did you miss it?
No - I was there, but I didnt see Kagen?
Will we have another?
No, not at my place again, anyway.
Do you wear Durex on it over there?
No
do you prefer bareback?
oh yes........
can we make a week-long party?
(and i have to put SOMETHING in a box.....)
Yes. Only if I can come too.
Can I bring a friend?
yes, but only if it is male and he has not so itsy bitsy bits.
is this party going to be outdoors?
Yes.
Have you ever done it in the grass?
Yes.
Have you ever done it in a movie theatre?
Yes.
have you ever done it in the Sacristy?
Yes. Only if I can come too.
Can I bring a friend?
will you describe her (and sorry cheyenne, i really want it to be a "her")
Bags for balls - but the question was about ball gags
No
Do you tell golf jokes?
oh. sun of a....... sorry.
no (golf jokes)
do you play golf?
no
do you play pocket pool?
no
do you muff dive? (heehee)
Err, no.
Do you need to get laid?
no, i am cellarbate
do you want to get laid?
Yes, well, thats if it really does cure hangovers!
Do you think we spend too much time in this thread?
No.
Do woo talk wike a witty-bitty baby-poo?
no, i weely don't.
about the muff diving, and wanting to get laid- yes and yes. i can't wait for my wife to get home.
are you sexy, incredibly sexy?
NO.
Are we not men?
No. We are DEVO.
Would you mind if I were to decapitate you and rape your corpse?
hey who gave you permission to skip a post??
It shall be 1000 lashings for you!! :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip:
yes.
has anyone else thought that crimson's question is...questionable?
(personally, i'd like to get back to the orgy questions.....)
hey who gave you permission to skip a post??
It shall be 1000 lashings for you!! :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip: :whip:
i keep posting, and it seems to miss a few.....
but carrying on (oh and cheyene, the idea of a thousand lashings has struck me as kind of nice....i must be in a strange and kinky mood...sorry 'bout that)
No.
do you think this thread is devolving?
No. We are DEVO.
Would you mind if I were to decapitate you and rape your corpse?
I was refering to crimson. The ghostly creature chose which Q&A to answer. Ghosts lashing will hurt.
Yours will tickle.......
Shall I use a feather?
No.
do you think this thread is devolving?
Yes.
Do you think all the threads are devoolving?
no
are all theads devulvaing?
oh yes. please do. i can almost fell the tickle now....
will you tie me down and make me laugh as you tickle me?
(now that's devolving.....)
no. really fast dsl. wireless, but that shouldn't matter much.....
well, if you had sial up it would explain delayed posts from both directions. ;)
but alas....you have NO excuse! *beats you frantically with a peacock feather*
oh my.........please, keep it up......
:)
as a question- will you keep it up?
yes, as I have that kind of talent ;)
is your wife home yet? :p
no she's not. she's at work for another friggin 6 hours. this could be........ anticipatory......
thoughts of cheyenne with a peacock feather will have to suffice until she gets home. and when she does, she'll be very pleasantly greeted.
glad i could help. tell her "your welcome" :lol:
she'll be grateful. gracias cheyenne.
now back to the questions--
are we all still gonna have that orgy?
no, there is only 2 of us at the moment.
is there a donkey involved?
no donkey.
can an orgy be only two people? maybe at least some sort of sex party?
no, go to your room!
do you go to church? *throws in a little guilt* :p
*forgive me, twas a week from hell and i am on my 2nd beer. ;)
oh....not really. no.
yeah man, you nearly blew the whole flow with that church comment.
i'll ignore it and only picture the "go to your room" thing.
please drink one for me. do you drink tequila too?
no.
I used to drink 1800 but stopped all forms of wild partying when I had my 1st child. An ocassional beer only for me. Booze and drugs makes one age. I don't care much for surgery so I best stay looking young as long as i can. ;)
shall i shotgun a beer for you?
yes please
i quit drinking and smoking pot 6 years ago. not a drop since. so please, drink one or two for me.
is the view really nice outside your window right now?
yes. white blossoms with the "Eddies" (mountain range) behind them. I see the backyard view from here. Sunset is always beautiful out the front. When the mountain has snow on it, the snow turns pink......awesome. :)
time to go take a sit spell.
are you going to have a wonderful evening?
(i'm jealous)
yes.
are you too?
hasta.................
No :( I work until midnight.
Do you obsessively listen to new songs that appeal to you?
yes i do actually
do you like your job?
No. No I don't.
Do you like ice cream?
yes
have you ever run through a public street with no clothes on?
No, well, all the boys were naked, I wasnt...its called Nude Beers over here :)
Have you ever interrupted people doing it and hesitated a little too long before leaving?
no
have you ever been caught masterbating and the person hesitated a little too long before leaving?
No
Do you have a question, coz my brain isnt working yet and I dont?
Yes.
Do you work out on a regular basis?
yes. weights and lots of running and masturbating
do you think bri will like these chocolates i got her?
Yes
Do you think Bri will share with the rest of us?
no
i didn't know ducksnuts was a woman until just now....(off subject)
can someone shout me a beer?
no. i need it all for myself.
Do you like Subway food?
no. i need it all for myself.
Do you like Subway food?
yes
do you get your eyelashes tinted?
No.
Have you ever been pissed off at your manicurist?
Yes! she always makes my nose picker nail too sharp!
Do you pick your nose?
Yes. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.
Would Baby Jesus like cauliflower?
yes. God created Lassie
do you chew your corn completely?
no. theres no point. it comes out the same as it went in.
are rabbits flamable?
Yes, but it still doesnt seem to be digested very well!
Do you swallow?
fuck - that makes no sense now...how did you slip in there kagen?
are rabbits flamable?
Yes, when dipped in petrol.
Have you ever sniffed petrol?
yes. but only when filling up.
how did you slip in there kagen?
if i had a dollar for every time i heard that.
do you swallow? (im not stealing your question DN im just making sure you get your answer)
I shall refrain from answering....coz I know my answer, thanks for thinking of me though Kagen.
yes, i swallow corn after chewing thoroughly.
can a rabbits foot be lucky after the rabbit has lost it?
yes, (the other foot it didnt lose is lucky)
can you fit your whole fist in your mouth?
No.
If I hit a woodchuck, would it dramatically affect the gas mileage of the car I'm driving? In this case, a 1979 Mercury Cougar.
no, prolly not
can i drive your '79 cougar?
I would say yes but it's not my cougar.
Can I shift the gears?
Yes.
Are you gonna ride the clutch?
If you cant find it, grind it.
cream?
Yes.
Can it (I) be whipped?
yes
have you been a naughty girl?
Absoultely. I'm almost always naughty. (If it means that I can get spanked for it).
Do you like it when I'm naughty?
I'm Ambivalent about it.
Do you use your blender daily?
No
Do you use your B.O.B daily?
no, bob is broken, i am on manual. :p
do you play with your stick shift?
yes, sometimes
do you want to play with my stick shift too?
I can claim this one!
I hit a fire sprinkler with a forklift, had 200 people outside on the pavement and two hours of cleanup before the factory could re-start.....
One for the ladies......have you ever deliberately had a 'wardrobe malfunction' to tease or torture a man?
what does this--->I can claim this one!
I hit a fire sprinkler with a forklift, had 200 people outside on the pavement and two hours of cleanup before the factory could re-start.....
have to do with this---->do you want to play with my stick shift too?
No, only dress to tease.
have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction to tease a man??
no...i'm not gay. and i think he meant he was playing with his stick shift while working LOL
have you ever made out with someone the same sex?
oh, i see and..
no, yucki ewwwie! :lol:
have you ever had sex with someone the same sex?
Excuse me I just threw up in my mouth... No I haven't
Have you ever dreamed of doing it with someone the same sex?
No. But I have actually been kissed by another girl. Whatever.
Is anyone else as tired as I am?
no, im not done with you yet, you better not be tired
could you call someone thats just been run over tyred?
I'm never done. Just tired.
nice pun on words by the way. Were u just run over?
no
are you walked upon like a door mat?
No
Can one run over tired person call another run over tired person?
Yes. They would hear the beep beep beep beep beep of billybob's forklift, and a dozen people would reach for their cell phones?
Have you ever made out in a closet?
Yes!
Have you ever *had to* hide in a closet?
No, But i found a girl in my closet once.
Have you ever had to jump out a window naked?
Nope, but have had a guy jump out the window naked.
Have you ever jumped a naked guy?
no, i haven't.
have you ever been a naked guy who got jumped?
No, But i found a girl in my closet once.
Have you ever had to jump out a window naked?
i HAVE to know that story, cheyenne. por favor.....
No, But i found a girl in my closet once.
And then she came out of the closet...
i HAVE to know that story, cheyenne. por favor.....
And then she came out of the closet...
well you nosey nosertons :P..........
I was all of 16 and living with my boyfriend. We had just moved back to Reno from San Jose. We set up house in an old downtown hotel in Reno. You know, the kind that look seedy today? Back in those days they were just nice old hotels. The room had but a sink in the corner and the bath was a creeky walk down a darked hall, you could hear sounds from each room as you tiptoed along doing the potty dance while......
Oh sorry, the girl, right. I went out for the day and when I came back to the room the door was locked and I could hear rustling noises coming from within. I asked him what was taking so long to answer the door and he kept saying "just a minute". When he finally came to the door I already knew something was up. So I walked directly over tho the closet and there was a girl inside looking like Mr. Bill in headlights. I was so shocked. I believe I said to her "get the fuck out of here you whore" or something to that affect, 'twas long ago.
It was not long after that I left the creep.
no, i haven't.
have you ever been a naked guy who got jumped?
I guess I will go with this since everything else isn't a question... :redface:
No, I am a woman.
Have you ever had your salad tossed?
yes
have you ever tossed your cookies?
No
Ever dunked your cookie?
yes
ever had chochip macadamia cookies?
No no no....hot oil and naked boobies is not a good thing.
Ever had hot oil dripped on you?
No
Ever put a cigarette out on your date's hand?
No.
Ever had your date put your cigarette out on your hand?
No. Wtf.
Have you ever had someone give you a rose made out of a dollar bill?
Yes. All the time.
Do you hesitate much?
um. well. I'll hafta get back to you on that.
Do you sneak a look at the answers?
Yes.
Do you like having sex in public?
Maybe?
Do you like people watching you?
No
do you like watching other people?
Yes
Would you please take that thing out of your ass?
No. I can't quite reach it...
Will you take it out for me?
No, I didn't put it there.
Do whistle when you walk past graveyards?
No, I hold my breath so I don't breath in any ghosts!
Do you eat spam?
Nope.
Do you use spam as a sexual toy?
no. (and i just wrote the other post about you and BOB ducks)
have you ever had sex with spam? (just for the guys this one)
have you ever had sex with a can of spam? (for the ladies)
No
Since he can't reach it, would someone please take that thing out of Iggy's ass?
I've never used a can of spam to get myself off.
And for the record...I removed the thing in Iggy's ass. Just ask her.
And now for my question,
Have you ever wondered why old people love hard candy so much?
only because that's the only hard thing they'll ever see for the rest of their lives!!!
crunch crunch!
So does that mean they bite the candy or suck it?
how many licks until you get to the center??
1, 2, ttthree,
They suck it...all day baby.
And no, I am not crazy. But I am hungry.
Anyone else hungry?
FOR YOUR TOOTSIE POP
Are you gonna get muffled?
No. She turned me down.
Are you gonna get punched in the face today? hehe
No
Are you gonna get a creampie today?
No
will monkeys fly outta my butt?
yes
are you ready for that?
Yes, I'm like a boy scout, or a girl guide, or whoever is always prepared
Are you always prepared?
No.
Does being unprepared make you a bad person?
No, it makes you raw.
Will our democracy survive the rest of this administration's abuse intact?
Yes
will your mind survive your mindless liberal babble intact?
yes
is there a difference between political parties? really?
No
could you tell i was joking before or did i offend anyone?
Yes. And yes.
...But isn't that the way you intended it?
Yes
Do you like to disguise insults as jokes?
No
Do you like to disguise insults as compliments? (what a lovely lime green leisure suit you're wearing, Mr. Jones)
Infrequently.
Can you do the two-fingered taxi whistle?
no.
Can you walk instead?
Yes.
Are we all happy that kinkyvixen took that thing out of my ass?
Well I know that I enjoyed it.
Did you enjoy it too?
Oh, yes. You know it. ;)
Did you know that I am a girl?
yes
since you are BOTH in the same town will you take pics next time ??
Yes.
Are you going to be upset if we don't post said pictures?
yes
since you are BOTH in the same town will you take pics next time ??
Maybe. What's in it for me?
Will you post pictures too?
No
Did Kinkyvixen use her teeth?
Maybe. I wasn't watching... maybe we should ask her.
Would you like her to use her teeth?
no
have you brushed YOUR teeth?
yes
have you brushed the teeth of any member of the "Golden Girls"??
No, they never habded them to me
Do you like Listerine breath strips?
yes
have you ever used the generic "brand X" Listerine knock off?
No
do you have stinky breath?
No?
Ever given a Hot Carl? aka CHili dog?
No
Anyone Have Oink invites ?
no
Can I forward email attachments, such as photos?
*not computer savy*:o
Yes
Are they nice photos?
Yes
Do they show naughty bits?
Yes
Will you pay money to see them?
no, free porn all over the net. why pay?
do you touch yourself in the shower?
Yep - got to get those bits clean :)
Do you touch yourself for a long time in the shower?
Yes. It's my soap and my dick. I'll wash it as long as I want.
Did you ever take a dump so big you had to break it up with the plunger?
no, dont own a plunger.
did you just grab my arse?
No
do you enjoy some grabass?
Depends on whose ass I'm grabbing.
Is it still Monday?
Yes. Unfortunately.
Does Tuesday sometimes still feel like a Monday?
Yes.
Do you ever do things and while you're doing them you KNOW the things you're doing are wrong?
Yes.
Does that make us bad people?
Does that make us bad people?
(that's what I'm wondering)
no
would you like to eat green eggs and ham?
yes, but only on a boat.
do you hear a Who?
I do, Horton hears a Who.
Does your fox have sox?
Yes, my fox has sox
Does your cow poo?
Dr. Seuss shocker, Dr. Seuss!!!!
No
Can you read with one eye shut tight?
Yes.
Can you sleep with your eyes wide open?
no
do you play with any one eyed snakes?
Yeah. But only anaconda's.
Do you want someone to play with yours?
Yes
Do you want me to beg?
Yes.
Does begging turn you on?
No!
Do you like a dominant partner?
No
do you like wearing collars?
Sometimes.
Have you ever tucked your junk between your legs and looked at yourself in the mirror?
no, i was born without junk. *has never considered having an "addadicktome*
do you play with your noodle? :P
Incessantly.
Have you ever held anyone at gunpoint?
yes (a cap gun)
has your best friend ever been a member of the opposite gender?
Yes, God rest his soul.
Have you ever had sex with your best friend?
No
have you ever had sex with someone and then afterword found out you were related to that person?
It's a long story.
have you ever played the fool?
have you ever had sex with someone and then afterword found out you were related to that person?
Ha! My brother did. He ended up marrying her too. Genealogy can be creepy sometimes. He and his wife have a common ancestor something like 10 generations back. Many other people do too, but just don't know it because they never learn their family trees.
It's a long story.
have you ever played the fool?
Yes.
Have you ever gotten burnt by the fire?
I didn't start the fire, but, YES, I've gotten burnt.
Do you ever wish you could SLAP people thru your computer screen?
yes....oh yes
ever slapped your computer screen, because its been...naughty?
no
Ever been slapped in the face by lunch meat?
It's a long story.
haha, I have two of those stories. *not a redneck*
no
Ever been slapped in the face by lunch meat?
No
ever beat your lunch meat?
Yes. It must be tender!
Ever hunt in pumps?
Yes, only unwary men.
ever hunt for snipe?
No
Ever have trouble thinking up up a witty question?
yes
ever put a stupid question cause you couldn't think of a witty one?
yes
does your SO only ever ask you Y/N questions?
no
is this one of those yes/no questions?
yes
If i ask a yes/no question, will you answer with something other than yes/no?
no
That was a yes/no question, wasn't it?
no
should we start a new thread?
no
think of better questions?
no
think of better answers?
yes
was that a better answer?
yes, you are improving.
do you want brownie points?
no, they get stuck in my teeth
Did you quit your job this week?
no.
Did you see any UFO's or crop circles on your way home from work? :alien:
yes, but im insane
does anyone else hear voices telling them to stick playing cards into car exhausts in an effort to reduce teen pregnancy?
yes. i am glad i am not alone.
have you done it in the back seat?
No.
Front seat - yes.
Have you ever caught a fish?
yes.
was it the same fish that i caught...having sex with my girlfriend?
Yes
Did that fish have a (euphamism alert) *Big One*?
Yes, big two, in fact
Do you go trolling?
no
is this the time to think of another witty question?
Yes.
Is Michael Jackson black?
Not anymore
I emminem black?
No.
Does a ton of bricks fall faster than a ton of feathers?
When using the teenage vernacular "dude thats a ton of __", yes.
Will working 9 hours a day 5 days a week, for the entire summer, in a room literally the size of a closet in an office working on spreadsheets drive me insane?
yes
Would working with a bunch of idiots also make you insane?
Yes.
Would working with a bunch of insanely NICE people make you insane?
HECK YES IT WOULD!
does that mean you would rather work with mean people?
No.
It is very hard for me to be driven insane.
Do you think shocker is mean?
No! so you can suck my....oh wait...i'm not mean
do you think Iggy is a poopy head?
No. But you are! Ha!
is it time to fucking go home yet?!?!?
Yes, I'm home and outside a bottle of Quervo.
Are you an alcoholic?
Luckee!
And no, but I bet I would be if they let me drink at work! Damn this place!
Are you drunk?
Yes - its 10 mins till beer-o'clock here.
Should I stay sober?
Yes - if the contents of your car are anything to go on.
Did you have fun at your jammie party?
yes. i lost my phone and was sick the next day. but then some random found my phone
do you sleep naked?
Sometimes, but its too cold now :)
Why am I here?
yes? no??
did you ask a non-yes-no question?
yes
but brains dont matter in her case do they? ;)
no, she is nuts *ducks*
do you care about a females brains?
Yes.
Do you care about the "brain" in mens' little head?
No. WTF?
Is everyone partying this weekend?
Yes.
You know, people say men go by the brain in their penii, not the one on their shoulders? Gosh... I thought that much was obvious... ;)
Are you going to get drunk and have crazy sex with someone?
Yes and maybe? lol...I know you have a solution! No worries.
and about the head...you just asked me if I cared...and no. : )
Are you going to get drunk this time?
yes? no??
did you ask a non-yes-no question?
See Chey, I was trying to lure you back in here and it worked!! Yay me!! :D
why get drunk?
uh oh, its contagious!!
umm, coz?
Will I get in trouble for asking a non-yes-no question?
Well, I read the instructions, but they didn't (sink) go all the way in....so to speak. Sue me.
Back to the game.
No.
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Do DO Dodododo do do DO
Um, Nope.
have you seen the girl from impanena walking?
Yes. :love:
Do your ears hang low?
Nope, but other parts may if not properly supported.
You want fries with that shake?
Yes
Do you dip your fries in your shake?
Yes,
Did you know that the shape of a leaf often mimics the overall shape of a tree?
See Chey, I was trying to lure you back in here and it worked!! Yay me!! :D
Yay me! Ducky loves me! :D *at least someone does* ;)
My youngun has priority on the pc for college classes.
Yes,
Did you know that the shape of a leaf often mimics the overall shape of a tree?
yes.
shall I make like a tree and leave?
no, make like a tree, and get the hell outta here.
want me to make like a tree and root?
no, make like a sheep herder and get the flock outta here! :p
want a banana split?
yes
want to share it with me?
Yay me! Ducky loves me! :D *at least someone does* ;)
I luvs ya Chey, but...err...I'm easy :p
want to share it with me?
Yes, wait..
Are you gonna lick it off Chey?
uuuummmmm yes, wait I am not a contortionist nor do I have a banana, so no.
do you want to go garage selling with me? :morncoff:
Yes.
Are we going to find other people's trash and make it our treasure?
yes, i bought a
"Jesus in Gethsemane" Seraphim Classic today for $5.00 (she was asking $10.00 and i offered $5.00). I just looked it up and it is priced at $125.00 and up. :D
shall I tell about other treasures I found today?
yes, please
do you have any burried treasure?
yes.
Do dead men tell tales?
"shall I tell about other treasures I found today?"
"Yes please."
I found a brand new
Krups coffee maker for $3.00. I have one just like it(i paid $70.00 for mine at a dept store). I will take my old one to work and the new one I will use at home now.
yes.
Do dead men tell tales?
yes, they tell tales of daisies.
do dead men wear plaid?
no
well only if it's a closed casket
c'mon Sky....you forgot your q :p...
I dunno Chey, can we work under these conditions?
yes of course.
do ducks and chey want to be the bananas and ill be the icecream?
no, i say we split your banana and we be the icecream.
can you live with that?
Yep
Will it matter if his banana is broken?
yes.
[hijack]
Do you guys know about
this thread?
[/hijack]
yes, you can spilt me, as in take turns being icecream sitting on my banana
can you live with that?
yes, but only if i go first.
ready?
Yes.
Ever make a stranger cry?
No.
Do you carry cloth hankerchiefs?
____________________________________
c'mon Sky....you forgot your q :p...
I dunno Chey, can we work under these conditions?
I know...I know. ...I was at work at did the Homer "duh' thing.:smack:
:P
no
do you carry handi wipes?
no
do you carry large hunting knives?
Yes, but only for sport
Do you think Chey will jump back in here soon?
you coulda waited a minute Chey
:p
i guess we could have driven the long way home, but i was tired.
forgive me?
Yes
Should we think up betterer q's?
betterer.... I never thought of that one.
'course I don't like thinking. My skill comes a..la natural`
Are you two going to ask betterer questions yet.?
oops[edit to add question mark]
no
did you zig when you should have zagged?
no, i usally cant zag unless ive zigged
can you cook a good steak?
yes indeed
can you cook in the kitchen?
Yes
Should I go perve at Jensen Ackles?
No
Is Jensen Ackles a church?
No - he's a bit of a hottie and I did go perve coz you took too long to answer.
Should I go bitch out the mechanics?
yes?
do you have a cure for the common cold?
Yes, when you die the virus dies with you.
Are you an incurable anything?
yes, incurable mommy.
do you have 6 sides?
No, but I have 4 different personalities.
Do you have them too?
no, but Kagen does
has anyone seen ManBearPig?
no
have you seen womanbarechild?
:right: very well done missy
yes
ever seen ManSeedChild?
no *knows what you meant but it sounds child molesty* :p
ever see ManSeedBack?
no
ever seen zipspewdrinkthrunose ??
No, thankfully.
Did you ever drinkthroughnose?
NO
Did you ever fartthruear ??
no
ever have the disease called "Lackanooki"?
Yes
do you enjoy blowiusjobius?
Forsurious.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? [Are there any other words to describe it?]
htfius can I answer that with a yesius or noius??
Are you playing fair?
no, dirty
is my coffee ready yet?
Yes, darling.
Do you want cream?
Yes, if it's yours.
Do you want my cream?
no, i like mine hot and black.
do you want some sugar?
yes
can the sugar be on you?
no, that was a spider
did you wif?
Yes. : p-u :
did you have to ask?
yes
did you have to tell?
No, I'm the only one here.
Did I eat raw onions again?
No, you always smell like that.
Did you think we were all lying?
no...you really do stink:greenface
can we ask other questions than ones that smell?
no
can you stop smelling?
yes
shall we share a shower?
Yes i would very much enjoy that :D
will you lather me up?
indeed....oppsie, will you look at that...i dropped the soap
will you pick it up?
of course i will
Ooops, my hand slipped, is that ok?:blush:
WHOOO! oh my...of course it is.
care to slip again?
mmmm....but of course ;)
I feel we are only getting dirtier in this shower. do you agree?
agree
i say we need a longer shower then.....
agree?
Yes, absolutly
Only problem is...I'm getting ready to leave work, so I'm gonna have to cut this shower short. Is that ok?
yes, i know you always come home to me. ;)
do you have a desk at work?
no, i dont
can i take his place in the shower?
no, sorry, I'm back :D
yes, i know you always come home to me. ;)
do you have a desk at work?
yes I do, with a nameplate too:rolleyes:
So by now is the shower over?
no, we're still using it.
can you get me a towel?
no , get your own Damn towel you HOMO !!!!
Hey Chey , can I dry your back , then your FRONT from the BACK ???
Can you people get a room?
*side note....damn ya'all are getting me hot! :lol:
*side note....damn ya'all are getting me hot! :lol:
I think I can take care of that ;)
at the "Hilton"?
yes, room 214
shall I bring others?
by all means.
laptop and digirecorder too?
Yes, then we can put on a show for the others who couldn't make it.
What about props?
yes?
Battery operated or mains power...oh oh...pull cord ones would be better?
No, my tongue doen't need batteries.
Do you taste yummy?
yes, i just showered
do you?
yes, like coconuts. coconuts are good... especially with lime in them
do you think i should go wake up my BF and jump on the bed and annoy him.. or have another drink and stay on the internet another wasted 5 hours
Um...sun sparkz..while that is not a 'yes' or 'no' question, I vote YES.
Do you have an STD?
Yes, I drive a stick, it's cheaper and easier to maintain than an AUTO.
Have you ever been tested for AIDS?
Not necessary; as a precaution, I only have sex with virgins or really shy women.
Has anyone else?
Yes.
Are you completely full of shite?
No, I'm full of Sunni
Is Ohio a good place to live?
Compared to being dead, yes.
Will the weather cooperate for camping this weekend?
You betcha -- *me packs for the Sangre de Cristos*
do you enjoy drinking The Blood of Christ?
I dont think so
WTF is that?
yes or no, please.
Will you please restate your question?
No, he has already left for now
do you enjoy asking yes or no questions?
yep.
Although the hard part is imagining that they're part of some "conversation". Don't you agree?
yes, but that is because strange people can respond to questions meant for others.
Do you answer the questions for other people?
yes it was, i wasn't about ready to go looking through old posts for that
Is anyone else running out of questions?
Yes. But that's because my personality rarely asks questions.
Is it freakin' friday yet?
yes.
didn't you get the memo?
No. Damnit! I always miss the good stuff!
Anyone else have any kind of festivals going on right now?
Yes but it was upside down and I thought it said "owew."
Q: Are you ready?
I guess kinky vixen was ready before I was.
yep. got my E-ticket right here.
am i tall enough to go on the ride though?
yep. got my E-ticket right here.
am i tall enough to go on the ride though?
yes.
Promise to keep your hands inside the ride at all times?
No. What fun is that?
If I lose my arm will you help me find it?
sure, I'd give you a hand. [/rimshot]
are you prepared for more lame jokes?
yes
arent you always prepared?
yes
did you know i was a scout?
no, a scout like Alec Baldwin?
was it packed full 'o fun?
Yes, just like that shower we had the other day ;)
So am I the only lame person working on this fine Saturday?
no
does posting here today make me lame?
No, unless I'm lame too :)
Do you think I'm lame? :smack:
I'll have to get back to you on that.
Do you want to do fun things this weekend?
Yes, I am very much looking forward to getting off of work
Do you have fun plans too?
Yes, of course.
Do you smoke?
No, but I'm smokin' hot!
Do you use illegal substances?
No.
Do illegal substances use you?
Wasn't going to call it an accident, but considering it was done with my ex? I'll say yes....and one of us :lovers: in a moment of passion at my office accidentally grabbed the fire alarm bar and broke it, causing the alarm to sound. Fired dept. dispatched. The couple (who will remain nameless) came out telling a fib (burning in hell for this one) that a broom fell against it, became wedged, and broke it. Stupidest lie ever, with lots of shrugging and I dunnohs in the parking lot of the office.
Did you ever wonder while driving in your car on a freeway if you were really moving or if the Gods were pulling the asphalt back and moving the lines in the road for you?
err...no
Should I go have a nanna nap?
Yes; but, don't do it while you're driving.
Will you dream about all of us?
yes
(when i started this thread i never thought it would get this far)
does any else dream about boxing matches between william schattner and david hasslehof?
no
do your dreams incorporate tv programs when on while you sleep?
yes , " life is but a dream , Sha-Boom !! "
when you dream is it sexual ????
no (dammit)
did you have a good sleep?
yes
do you have sexual dreams about cellarites?
yes - but I dont have to say who do i?
Do you like full feathers or none?
yes? no? *is bery confuzzled now*
was that an intent to confuse me?
no, i got it.
would you consider chey on ducks masturbation material?
Its my aim to confuse you Chey, I'm glad its working....but I aint answering Kagen question :p
Yes, I'll buy the video.
Did you have a nice weekend?
yes, ducks and chey came. then we went to my house
did you get the video i sent you?
Yes. It's a bit messy now - hope you don't mind.
Does oxyclean really get everything off?
no, you will have to get yourself off alone.
need a hand?
Yes, a bird in the hand is worth two if by sea!
Are you handy?
yes, right handy.
did you beat that poor bird??!!
Yes, 'til it spit.
Is it time to go home yet?
Not in my part of the world. But, they say it's always 5 o'clock somewhere, right?
Are you having a bad day?
NO! @#$% OFF!
did you just feel that?
Nope.
Do you want to risk losing a limb by trying again?
NO
Is you is , or is you ain't ?
I says Isis's sis is.
I don't know what that means.
Do you check the toilet paper when you wipe to make sure you're done?
yes, theres a weird ad on tv now about toilet paper and people that scrunch and people that fold. who the 2345 scrunches?? (i couldnt be bothered pressing the "shift" key for the censoring)
are you a scruncher??
No.
Do you use the good toilet paper ?
yes, theres a weird ad on tv now about toilet paper and people that scrunch and people that fold. who the 2345 scrunches?? (i couldnt be bothered pressing the "shift" key for the censoring)
are you a scruncher??
Lazy kagen!! and doesnt everybody scrunch??
Do you use the good toilet paper ?
Yes
Do you use toilet paper even if you have a snap off? (weird house mate story :greenface )
Yes.
Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?
no *never knew THAT was what the bedpost was for* *blushes*
do you wear a helmet during sex?
"Wear" the "helmet"? Hell, I *am* the helmet.
Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time?
Yes.
Will you (BigV) show me video of you being the helmet? :D
Sadly, no. The camera did not survive.
Will this thread evolve beyond the current "spin the magic 8 bottle" stage?
No
Is that champagne I hear chilling in the background?
Yes, and the bang you'll soon hear is the cork leaving the bottle and impacting the inside of the door of the freezer. That was a mistake.
Will the mess freeze so it can be cleaned up in pieces?
no, unfortunatly champagne freezes at a temperature below what your freezer gets.
Should we find someone to clean it then?
No. I'll do it.
Do you also find crafting good questions in yes/no format more difficult and less intersting than why questions?
no why?
if you cant think of a good yes/no question then you are an idiot. right?
yes.
Just wait a minit. I'm thinking. I *know* this one. Hang on. It's, it's... uh. Um.
Am I out of time?
No.
Is Out Of Time REM's best album?
Sure, why not? I'm feeling generous.
Will I run out of month before I run out of money?
if it's leap year. . . .
are we there yet?
No, but we're almost halfway there (stock answer to stock question. As unsatisfying to receive as it is to ask)
Was that tmi?
no, it was limmerick
Are you interested in other nuclear (or nucular) power plants?
Youbetcha!
Can you make change for a twenty?
no, leave the entire 20 on the dresser. i ain't cheap ya know *smacks gum*
was it good for you?
No, I've had much better for much less.
Do you like the wallpaper too?
no, i was watching the telly.
are we done yet?
uh huh.
did you say something?
No
Would you like me too?
yes
do you talk with your mouth full?
ywif, ai o oo ashf?
*gulp*
Is that better?
Yes.
Do you like Cheetos?
yes
do you like to eat tacos?
Yes. But just one is enough for me.
You do know what I mean, don't you?
Yes.
Is a train entering a tunnel like a hotdog going through a doughnut?
no, the train is longer and the tunnel is bigger and.... you can't eat either. you must be a public school graduate? :p
am i high yet?
Yes, you haven't yet come down since New Years Eve 2000.
Do you want to get down?
yes
do you want to get up?
No, I'm comfortable right here, thanks.
May I have another cup of coffee, please?
Yes, why not.
Do you want a cookie with that?
Yes, please. The chocolate chip ones are delicious.
Will you join me?
Yes, I love chocolate chip cookies and coffee.
Do you have some sugar to put in my coffee?
Certainly. : passes sugar bowl :
Do you take cream?
[size=1]edit -- sorry, I accidentaly stepped on some real smilie's toes trying to (colon) pass the sugar (colon). Sheesh. [/size]
yes
do you prefer good old fashioned coffee over all the newfangled flavor thingies?
yes. flavored coffee--ptui!
hot, black and straight out of the tap. But I do require decaf (shut up).
Regular for you?
yes. extra strength if possible.
Do you go to the same coffee shop/cafe every morning like I do?
no, sorry
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.
You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
does that sound like good coffee to anyone else besides me?
No. I went once and the 3 shots of espresso almost killed me.
Do you get shots of espresso in your coffe?
Not anymore.
I enjoy the habit of a cup (pot(s)) of during the day way more than the caffeine zing.
Have you ever had bubble tea?
guess not
can you tell me what it is?
Yes.
Flavored tea (there are a kazillion flavors. I like taro, sweet, plus it's [COLOR="DarkOrchid"]
purple[/COLOR]). It comes with milk (optional) but what makes it "bubble" tea are tapioca pearls. These are .50 caliber balls of tapioca mixed in with the tea that settle to the bottom of the cup. You drink it with a straw about the size of your forefinger. When you draw a pearl or two or eight into the straw as you drink it goes popopopop in your mouth. The pearls are chewy and add a very interesting texture to the drink.
Here's a nice intro. I think sweet tea would go well with the pearls too.
They don't have boba/pearl/bubble tea in GA?
Not that I'm aware of.
Shall I have chilli to eat tonight?
Yes, why not.
Should I go to sleep now?
Yes, you should. Get as much rest as possible.
Have you cleaned your room?
No. My vacuum cleaner has been standing here for two days now though and I am planning to actually use it tomorrow... I think...
Do you vacuum?
yes, i give myself hickies with it.
do you do windows?
yes i do widows
do you find married men attractive?
depends on the man
are you a married man?
Argh... topics that go on to second pages when I'm not paying attention...
No, I'm a single woman.
Do you cook?
The grill is my home
Does your significant other hit you in the face with soon to be used tampons just to gross you out?
(P.S. today I have survived 20 years on this *&%#ed up earth.. hooray for me)
No..but wait..thats right, I dont have a SO anymore
Can someone else think up a question for me?
Yes.
[on behalf of DucksNuts]
That's normal, right?No, the pegs (clothespins) should be arranged in spectral order ROYGBIV. Varying from this will break your mother's back.
Did you go away for the longholiday weekend (Americans only)?
No, we attempted to see
An Inconvenient Truth by using no fewer than 4 gallons of gas sitting on the expressway for an hour and a half, in a burst of summer-like heat suggesting global warming, only to find it doesn't open until next week,
as we determined the day before and promptly forgot. The irony was so thick I could barely drive through it. My will to live is sitting somewhere around the Belmont exit and the resulting clenching of teeth literally cracked one of my porcelain crowns, forcing a dental visit. The following day I had an anxiety problem (a result of the
meds being low in my bloodstream) and practically had an orgasm when J massaged out the knots in the tightened muscles in my back. All of the above is true.
And how are you today?
Very good, actually.
Did you gag when you read Big V's description of bubble tea? Bleach. I love tea, but WTF??
**Point of order!**
The posters will restrict themselves to Yes or No questions only, if you please.
Thank you. [/gavel banging]
*ahem*
No.
It would be helpful to focus on the bubbles, and less on the tea, so to speak. The tea is black tea, (or green tea, but I didn't like the one I had last) HIGHLY flavored with your choice of...flavorings (I did a search and couldn't find them all in one list. The hits I found were all divided into groups, and when I manually counted them, they were in the range of 250 different flavors). You could find one you like. Have you ever had Thai Iced Tea? Sweeeet tea with cream, yummy. Or think, fruit smoothie. What about Italian soda, minus the carbonation. That's the idea. It's different, you should give it a try.
"The first time, they think it's weird, then they start to get used to it," Shin said.
We're all tired of hearing me pimp pearl tea, right?
Yes.
Do you have a love of 80s hair metal and arent afraid to admit it?
No and no. (he answered, using his judgement on multiple y/n questions)
That was easy.
Will I be able to bend this new help desk software to my will?
Yes.
Is it software you acquired illegally?
Yes.
Running demo version now, getting to know if I like it or not. Purchase price is very reasonable, $395. Thank you for the favorable answer.
Should I remain a dues paying card carrying member of the coffee club?
Yes? No? Maybe?
Is it worth paying for?
yes, i have my own coffee pot (buy my own grounds) at work and brew my own for myself and any lucky tech who i invite to share a cup with me. :D
would you like a cuppa?
yes a cuppa sounds good
can i have sugar with that?
no, youre sweet enough
can i have an irish coffee?
Sure, here you go.
Like orange juice?
it would take two baby, me and you
how about a nice waltz?
If I could waltz that way....
Do you like to dance to "whammy Kiss" by the B-s52s?
No. I prefer to dance to What I Like About You by the Romantics.
Will I make it through today bearing a heavy sleep deficit?
No. You will fall down half way through and remain in an unconscious sleep for fourteen hours straight.
Am I right?
God, I hope so.
Are you the sandman?
Unfortunately for you, no, I am the Queen of Getting-By-On-Little-Sleep.
Are you still awake?
Yes. I'm always awake. Kinda like a convenient store is open 24/7.
Is everyone else asleep?
no
Are all cops overweight?
No. : )
Are all supposed to be overweight?
NO! heck no
Arn't they suppose to be defending us against the bad guys scaling fences and running tackles? stuff like that?
Yes. Er something like that. So why did you ask if all cops are overweight?
Did you have a bad experience with an overweight cop? lol...
No.
Whenever I see one in their car they are overweight. * shrug *
I just keep thinking that our police force should be more inshape than the general public. Just suprises me. Our whole culture revolves around superheros that are shapley, strong and fit.
I just think stuff...:o Keeps me busy :p
I think stuff too...lol, but my thoughts when I'm idle usually end up getting me in trouble.
Do you ever get yourself in trouble with some of the ideas that are thunk up in your head? (Yes I said thunk, 'cause it's funny!!)
Yes.
Are you purposefully and unnecessairily verbose?
Yes. Usually.
Are you trying to be mean?
No, this is the way I talk.
[steps out of character]
This could be an interesting thread, even for Nothingland, if it weren't for the utter closed endedness of questions that have to be phrased to get a yes or no answer. Questions like this are moderately useful in some circumstances, but as foundations of conversations, they're too disconnected. There's a reason this kind of post after post after post is called a thread. It's connected. Maybe lightly as in the word association thread, maybe lamely as in other recently highly trafficked threads. But having a conversation where the speaker deliberately poses only yes or no questions makes for a boring, short, one sided conversation. When many people participate, as in this thread, you get many boring, short one sided conversations. [/out of character]
Do you know what I mean?
Yes, I do. And I agree. Although these yes/no questions have some charm too. It does offer a nice middle road to learning some stuff about many others (if you ask the right questions) and be able to hold conversations.
Did that make sense?
Yes.
Does it take discipline to ask this sort of question?
No; but, it takes discipline to achieve a coordinated number count beyond 53 without someone screwing it up.
Do you like to be disciplined?
Yes - its why I am a fan of boot camp..well..that and I like muscly guys telling me what to do :)
Does work interfere with my posting too much?
yes
does my mental health interfere with my posting two mice?
No, it actually makes it easier to tape them into the box without food and water.
Will my feet ever stop hurting?
Yes. In three days, they will feel fine.
Are you still beating your wife?
No. I let her escape.
Am I mean?
No, you are well above the mean.
Is school fun?
No.
Surprising, isn't it?
no, to be surprised i would have to have had some preexisting knowledge that was sharply different from this new information. i have neither (in this thread), so therefore, no surprise.
why. sorry. what... I mean is... do you know the difference between e coli and listeria?
hellyes.
who doesn't. sh*t.
doesn't everyone?
No.
Would you jump off a bridge if all your friends were too?
Only if they were my COOL friends
Do you speak a foreign language?
yes, a little
do you think accents are sexy?
[COLOR="Cyan"]Gah... as you were[/COLOR]
Yes
Are you going to do it again?
do it again? no...do you again? yes
Would you stop me?
no
i said that in a sean connery accent, did you find it sexy?
For the record...
Griff is a changer!!! :p ...now I look like a dick!!
Anyways..
Yes
Can you say "ohhh baby" in a pirate accent? (do pirates have accents??)
yarr
"oooh baby"
was that to your liking?
No
More H less O...Can you do it betterer this time?
yes
"ohhh baby"
bettererer?
Yes.
Do you talk like a baby for a reason?
Not usually.
Wanna try again?
no, i am gonna teww my mommy!
wanna play spin the bottle?
Sure, why not.
You want to go first?
No, you go first...
Do you have a bottle ready?
No, it's late here, am in bed with the laptop, no bottles at hand.
Do you have one?
yes
*spins*
it is pointing to you...
shall i kiss you?
no thanks. kissing someone else
have you kissed yourself in the mirror?
no, i have no reflection.
shall i suck your blood?
no. (insert obvious sexual comeback here)
can i suck your toes?
yes,
if you like Trench mouth that is
Can I kiss your wife ??
No, I don't have one.
Do you have a wife?
no, nor a husband, as i do not need anymore children. :p
do you wear wooden shoes?
No, I don't. Generally, farmers and landworking people will wear them as they are flat (and thus do not disrupt soil) and protective (if something falls on their feet). Although, in official capacity, they are not allowed to be used like that as they're not 'regulated' for that... They are also worn by people that dress up in traditional outfits for the tourist's sake. I personally, while I do live in a rural small town, do not wear them as my feet can't take it.
Do you dress in a Pilgrim's outfit?
only on thanksgiving and kinky nights
do you live in a windmill?
No, again I don't. We do have one in my town and several in the area.
Do you have turkeys everywhere?
yes. we call them men though.
wanna go to a party?
Yeah! Part-ay!
Um, is it within walking distance for me?
Yes, it's at your place.
Didn't you get your invitation?
No
Should I be offended?
Aren't I supposed to bring the cheese tray?
Yes.
Would you like me to bring gorgonzola?
Yes. If you like that type of cheese.
Would I bring the wine that goes with gorgonzola?
Yes.
Should I bring 7 layer dip?
Oh, Iggy, that would be lovely!
I say we make margaritas.
Very strong margaritas!
Yes.
Do you prefer the regular margaritas to the strawberry ones?
Yes? No? Regular, with salt.
Did cherandbuster even ask a question, let alone a yes/no question?
Yes! cherandbuster asked one yes/no question.
Are you having a good 06/06/06 day?
No - that was yesterday.
Has everyone forgotten the rules?
yes. my house, my rules
can i change the rules?
Yes
Will there be an email?
Yes.
Would you like attached photos?
Yes, lots of them.
Shall I forward it to you?
No, just post them.
Will you be wearing pasties?
Yes, But I don't understand the attraction of photos of dough-wrapped meat products.
Will you be my Valentine?
I'll be your, or anybody else's Valentine, for the right price.
Do you Tai Chi?
No, but I tie my shoes.
Do you wang chung?
Yes, tonight.
Do you think they should bring back SchoolHouse Rock?
No.
I paid for the whole collection and I intend to keep it.
Would you like to borrow it?
Yes.
Do you charge late fees?
No. Honor system.
Are you honorable?
Absolutely, yes.
Do you think I have my fingers crossed?
no of course not.
anyone else think DNuts is gullible.
No (fingers crossed :p )
Will my grass be over a foot high, when I get a chance to mow it?
Yes.
Will you pay the neighbor kid 15 bucks to mow it like I did?
No, I will get trained goats and have them eat the grass to an acceptable height.
Will the goats eat all of my shrubberies?
Yes?
did you mean would they eat your bush?
No, although I'd be pleased if they ate your Bush.
You ever had goats?
no, ive never had an STD
you ever had 18 year old hair pie?
I say, no. But really, your choice!
Aren't baby goats just freaking adorable?
Yes!
Do you have any really strong headache medicine?
No. I'm on the receiving end.
Are you a goat herder?
No, I am a scruffy nerf herder.
Have you ever provoked Happy Fun Ball?
Yes, once...and then my Happy Fun Ball began to smoke and accellerate to dangerous speeds. I had to cover my head.
Do you know what Happy Fun Ball is made of?
No, but it may stick to certain types of skin.
Are we there yet?
No - but we must be getting close
Is there anything that hasnt been asked yet?
Yes.
Do you like the Reverse Cowgirl position?
Yes
Has anyone tried the Hot Prod?
No.
Have you tried the Hot Karl?
no
have you tried a hot curling iron?
Noooooooooo
Have you tried a battery toothbrush?
Yes.
Have you tried the "magic wand"?
Yes. It is magic.
Have you ever tried the pearl bunny?
No
Have you tried a tongue?
The real kind? Yes. Only the best.
Anyone ever tried the imitation kind?
No - but at Sexpo I was seriously interested in the Vibrating/Rotating Tongue thingie.
Have you tried Chinese Balls?
No, not after Captain Queeg tried them in The Caine Mutiny.
Have you tried strawberries?
Yes
Can you do the Lotus?
Nah, I'm too fat to fit in one of those teeny weeny sports cars.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
yes. but dont tell her i called her that.
do you yahoo?
Uhuh, I yahoo, woo hoo, boo hoo and any other kinda hoo (not hoe tho...I hate gardening)
Should I give into the sleazy salesman at work who keeps asking me out?
No, don't mee hee for every yoo hoo that comes along.
Do you mix business with pleasure?
Only when my vibrating pager goes off.
Can you canoe?
No.
Can you swim really well?
yep.
do you like to camp?
No, I think it's a rude way to play, and I'll focus on killing a camper if I notice it.
Know what I mean?
Yes, I do.
Do you enjoy spending time outdoors, cooking, hiking, sleeping away from the comforts of urban life?
Yes.
Are you still laughing at something everyone else has forgotten?
No. Not laughing at all.
Did I miss something funny again?
Yes. Kagen is not only recently BLAZINGLY hott, he's funny.
Do you like to snuggle?
Yes, but I am a very poor communicator; I frequently talk to myself.
Are you happy about the end of the school year?
Goddess, YES!
Do you fantasize (sexually) when you're laying out in the sun and covered with oil? To be more specific---fantasize about your British English prof???
MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
No. But maybe I would if I made a habit out of laying out in the sun covered in oil, and I happened to have a hot British English professor.
Do you like to tan in the sun? (as opposed to tanning beds)
No. I am of Northern European Heritage and put the Cauc in Caucasian. I burn when thinking about the sun. My feet still hurt from my last attempt to venture out in daylight.
Do you put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?
Yes.
Do you put the bop in the bopshebopshebop?
Yes, if I have had enough wine.
Do you own a raspberry baret?
Yes, although you could look silly.
Should we keep going with the lyric references?
No, let's do something new.
Wanna dance?
No
Do you like M. Night Shamalyan movies?
I'll go with no as I haven't seen his movies (at least not that I am aware of).
Are you a zombie?
No. I haven't been infected yet.
Ever been to one of Rob Zombie's concerts?
No, but I am dying to go to the one in July.
Do you like rock and roll?
Yes.
Do you listen to Rammstein?
[intentional] Thankfully, I'm too far away to hear the planes.[/misunderstanding]
Do you hear aircraft?
Yes. But they don't know they are aircraft.
Would you like to be here?
Yes. i would.
Would you like to be here?
Yes
Did you have sex last night?
Yes.
Did my neighbors complain?
Yes and no.
Is it true that it's not easy being green?
Not in California. Have a green day. :joint:
Is it hard to get decent weed in Ohio?
I--I honestly don't KNOW!
Will this bloating ever go away?
Yes, once you've weed!
Would you choose eternal guaranteed love over eternal financial stability?
Yes, but stop eating all those cheet-os and cupcakes.
Should I brave the weekend crowds of drunken kiddies and go out tonight?
no
open the bar at home & invite a close friend or two
Do you prefer Grilled steaks over any other cooking method?
No
(not sure I get the question - prefer grilled chicken, but if I'm having steaks I prefer them flash fried & rare)
Shall I join my friend in his bed (rather than be chaste & sleep in the spare room)?
Oh sure, why not!
Do you have proper protection?
Yes
Can you really, successfully protect yourself against insect bites?
yes, but im sure youre annoyed im not saying how. it really is a great idea
does anyone want a coffee?
No thanks, I'm up too late as it is
Can anyone get me a nightcap?
Yes--and I'll even drink it for ya, too.
Do you ever miss the '80's, even just a little tiny bit?
Yes, many of the world's great wines were considerably less expensive then.
Will you be traveling far from home anytime soon?
Yes - Hamilton Island tomorrow and then OS in a few months. UK & US :)
Will I panic when I am swimming with sharks this week?
Yes, just don't bleed or you'll be shark food.
Are you crazy for swimming with sharks?
No. I use to think you were crazy, now I can see your nuts. I thank you.
Everyone good this monday morning?
Yes
How can you see my nuts?
I have X-ray vision.
Does that scare you?
No
Is it possible I have no nuts to see?
--Squirrely McNutty
Yes. Damn.
Is it possible I was BS'ing hoping I just might be right?
No
Is it poosible you were hoping to see some nuts?
lol. No. Wait...maybe!
Crap. Will someone change the subject?
No.
Have you ever seen the famous squirrel nuts on FARK?
Yes.
Should the day be made 30 hours long?
no
can you slow down the earths rotation?
No
Do Girls have more fun than Bois???
Oui, touchons du bois [Yes, knock on wood]!
Do girls just wanna have fun?
Yes.
Is there honor among thieves?
No
Is there honor among corporate CEOs? Or is that the same question?
No. Yes.
If a picture paints a thousand words, why can't I paint you?
Because no words can describe me
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego??!?
Um...is that a yes/no-type question? coz if it is...I'll say Carmen San Diego is in YES!
Do you like to play Dog-Pile on the rabbit?
No?:eyebrow:
Should I understand that question?
Yes
Did you ever watch any Bugs Bunny cartoons?
Yes.
Have many brains cells have I killed since then?
(Love the Looney Tunes)
No.
Ever had a Curry Wurst?
no
is that some kind of Indian-German sausage?
I don't know.
Ever been imprisoned for a month?
No... but some.
Ever been gored by a pig?
No
Ever been gourd by a pig?
Attempted to edit for reasons of taste, but my browser refuses to cooperate.
So.
Have you ever played "firefly"?
No.
Do you step on other people in order to make yourself look/feel good?
Yes. It doesn't work. I don't consiously do it anymore.
Ever been to Disneyland in California?
no
ever been to kneobels, in pennsylvania?
No.
Is it worth going to?
No
Have you ever been to Primanti's in Pittsburgh? Wasn't it great?
No ever been to Liberty Land in Memphis ??
Ever gotten High on the sky ride at Disney land in Cali ??
No.
Do you get satisfaction when a thread you start gets lots of posts?
Yes, very much.
Does the air outside your house feel like soup?
yes
did your power bill increase dramatically this month?
......mine went up 35%.....
yes
do you wanna know why?
YEs, my son figured out why. He said we need to change all of our 400W desktops for 5W laptops. And he promised to turn off the 8 100W bulbs every night.
He found out that here, we get W for 9 cents KWH up to a threshold, then it goes up to 35 cents. I'm embarrassed to quote my last electric bill. But, we now have more awareness at home.
Now, my question:
Did you ever dress up in the opposite gender's clothing?
yes...but you all know that.
did you ever dress up in the opposite genders clothing without anyone else knowing about it?
No, when I wear a man's clothing (shirts (male shirts are nice) mostly, can't remember wearing other male clothing pieces) why would I need to keep it a secret. I wouldn't go about "this is a male shirt" or "these are male pants" but if someone asked "are these male pants" I'd have no problem affirming it.
Ever worn high heels?
Yes.
Ever worn NOTHING BUT high heels?
No, I've never worn high heels, can't walk in them and my inlays won't fit.
You wear dresses?
Yes, but I was young and needed the money and a lift.
OK, I didn't need the lift.
Have you ever worn a garment inside-out for the whole day without realizing it?
Yes, but it was my underwear, so no one else noticed.
Have you ever been caught having sex in a public place?
Yes.
I cannot divulge further information until after the court date.
Have you ever walked in on a relative either having sex or masturbating?
No...it was a friend.
Have you ever lied to yourself about how you were going to exercise?
Yes, regularly.
Right now, do you wear shoes?
No, sandals.
Is your eczema itchy?
No, just white, scaly and ugly.
Have you ever taken a swig of soda and had it bubble out of your nose?
Yes.
Has your cellar also been repeatedly flooding over the past few days?
No. I don't have a cellar.
Have you ever went outside to clean your pool only to find a stiff dead bird in it?
No thanks. Too stringy.
Would you like a hot pocket?
No thanks, I've heard they really suck.
I don't know what to have for lunch though, what are you gonna have?
Yes, I mean no!
How about a yogurt and banana?
No, thank you.
Do you like green eggs and ham?:biggrinha
No, we already said we don't want a Hot Pocket.
Standup great Jim Gaffigan has a great bit about Hot Pockets, ever hear it?
No
Is it available online?
I was skeptical but it sure is, on this page:
http://www.jimgaffigan.com/all_video.shtml
I've seen him do the bit better though. Letterman audiences are weird, they're like too revved up for stand-up sometimes.
Are you actually going to watch the clip?
Yes, as a matter o'fact!
Excellent clip! I got one out of the machine here at work once, then realized it should be renamed "shit pocket."
Do you like Chef Boy Ar Dee ravioli?
No. It is kinda nasty and doesn't have much taste.
Do you like your local grocery store's egg rolls from the chinese deli?
No
Do you like gladiator movies?
Yes
Ever seen a grown man naked?
Oh yes!
Ever seen a naked man grow?
Yes. I have a naturist friend who gardens.
Ever paid for a reading from a psychic?
Yes (and to my shame I didn't learn the first time)
Have you ever had a psychic sidekick?
I did, but when I kept having to tell her when and where to meet me, I stopped believing that she was psychic.
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
42 (unless you are viciously mean and then it will be more)
How many roads must a woman walk down before they quit cat-calling at her?
About 134 trips down a road that leads to a McDonalds should do it.
Why do I do what I do?
Because you couldn't think of a yes/no question?
Can you think of a yes/no question?
C. I mean yes.
Do you listen to John Boy and Billy show?
Um nooo...
Do you listen to Bob & Tom in the morning?
Yes.
Do you run around like a chicken with your head cut off?
No; but, I'm Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm, Good like chicken soup!
Do you like yours hot and steamy?
Yes.
Is it pretentious to ask for a flavored cappucino?
No.
Am I very stupid because I submitted a non-yes/no question earlier?;)
No
Was your mind elsewhere?
No. It's mine.
Is that ok?
No, you should mind your own.
Would you like to live in a think tank?
No. I don't like to think.
Is the purpose of a think tank to think?
No. The purpose of a think tank is to sell ideas.
Will the rooster I just got get his ass handed to him by Senor Fluffy Feathers?
No, he will loose his face.
regular or extra crispy?
No thanks, it's too early
Have you had breakfast today?
(Answer with appropriate meal for different time zones!)
Yes, I'm having corn bread or Johnny Cake in the local vernacular.
Do you feel strong today?
NO
Have you watched Superman Returns already?
No.
Does Batman take him down?
No. Batman only likes to take Robin down.
Are you a superhero?
Yes, I am. (Cue Superhero by Stephen Lynch)
Do you ever wonder why you bothered to come to work on the Friday before a 4-day weekend?
No. I can't remember every having a 4-day weekend :(
Are you bothered about who wins the England-Portugal game on Saturday?
Yes, don't much care for football in general but I want Portugal to loose, as a 'thank you' for the disgraceful Netherlands-Portugal match.
Do you watch the Football WC?
No. It's against the law in these parts.
:)
Do you like baseball?
No.
I only follow "The WiffleBall Bat Challenge."
Do you remember Vera-Allen?
No
Does NFL training camp start in 2 weeks?
Yes?
Do you know where Kagen is?
No.
You noticed he's been MIA, too?
Yes.
Do you think he got in his plane and flew away?
No; but, he may be on cloud 9 and not yet ready to come down (frustrated pilots get that way).
Would you like to go up, up and away?
Yes.
Do you want to buy the ranch?
No
Do you want ranch dressing with that?
no
do you eat healthy food?
No, it's *dead*. Perhaps it was healthy right up to the moment I plunged it in the pot, but now "healthy" would be an ... overstatement.
Will the Dell rep get this case right this time?
Nope. Never has, never will.
Have you ever destroyed a computer with a block of thermite?
Thermite?
I don't need no stinkin' thermite.
I kill 'em with my bare hands.....usually two fingers. :D
Would you marry a purple person?
Yes.
Would you marry a purple people eater?
Yes, I would marry it with a fine Pinot Noir (to both drink and cook it in).
Do you have any good recipes?
Yes
Do you like Australian recipes?
Yes
Did you know that there is respectable historical documentation concerning the use of severed Aborigine heads as footballs in the Outback ?
No.
Did you know the human head weighs 8 pounds?
No
Does your soul weigh 21 grams?
Most definitely.
Am I bored?
Yes.
Is there an end in sight to the boredom?
No! It's unending!
Do you need to trim your trees?
Yes.
Might a tree fall on my head and put me out of my misery?
No. (Let's hope not!)
Does my cat want some tuna?
Yes. Especially if she's scracthing and meowing at you.
Did the camera lady leave you alone?
Yes! She finally did!
Is it raining where you are?
Sweet! I'm glad she did.
And no, it's not raining at the moment. It's sunny and hot. It rained last night though.
Do you need it to rain?
Yes!
Is that what you young people are calling it these days?
No
can you believe I just planted my tomatoes on Sunday?
Yes
Did you know that the tomato used to be called a love apple ?
No
Did you know i'm a love machine?
No .
Did you know that the idea of a dictatorship sometimes feels like a reasonable option when faced with with the sort of crap above ?
WTF....no...
are you on dope?
Why yes, yes I am.
Does it matter to you?
No, not particularly.
Should it matter?
No, I prefer it.
Do you think some people suffer from multiple personality disorder?
No....Yes
Do you have multiple personalities?
No
Did you know that the word 'hurricane' comes from the Arawak language ?
No
Do you know that the Caribs killed the Arawak men , but saved the women , and that this is why Columbus speaks of men and women speaking different languages when he 'discovered' the islands of the Caribbean ?
Yes
Will you be finished soon?
No
Can vulgarity always be justified ?
No
Can you get off my ass? (Again?)
Yes . ( and I agree that nothing is worse than a professeur de L'Education Nationale Française on holiday )
Can I be forgiven , if I promise not to come back for another week ?
Yes. (No need to go away for a week)
Have I done something to not be worthy in your eyes?
:confused:
No , not at all . I find you delightful .
Does anyone have any questions ?
Yes.
Will someone please go in my place to this incredibly boring 2 hour meeting I have attend in 10 minutes?
Yes.
(I'm close enough to!)
Is it appropriate to get your ex-husband (whom you have many, many ambivalent feelings towards) a wedding gift?
Yes
If you bought your ex a gift, would it be a gag gift?
Well----no. (I bought it in the presence of his--and my--teenaged son)
Have you ever gotten a great gag gift?
No (But last Christmas I wrapped up and gave my brother an old Nancy Drew that he ran over with his moped and ripped into two about 30 years ago)
Has a gift ever made you gag?
no
do you gag on your toothbrush every morning?
No
Do you enjoy the flavor of your toothpaste? (Mine's cinnamon clove--yum)
Yes.
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?
Yes.
If your mother says "don't chew it" do you swallow it in spite?
No, because she told me that it would stay in my stomach forever.
Do you think that the watermelon seeds grow in your tummy too?
Yes.
Do you think chewed fingernails go straight to your appendix? (Hey, my 7th grade science teacher said they did!)
No
do cashews give you gas?
no.
Do I have gas right now?
yes
Does your gas cost as much as Speedway gas?
Uh...maybe?
Do I know what Speedway gas is? (no)
Yes.
Does that leave you with a paradox?
No, it leaves me with a pair of jacks and an ace kicker.
Do you play poker?
No, the game does interest me though.
Can you teach me?
Yes, possibly.
Are you playing with a full deck?
No. But a .50 Desert Eagle beats an Ace High Royal Flush In Spades.
Do you use public toilets?
If I really have to, so yes.
Do you pay for public toilets?
No
Have you ever paid per sheet of toilet paper?
No; but, it would add a novel connotation to the expression "pay as you go."
Does anyone "TP" anyone else's house anymore?
Yup. Still happens 'round this way on Hell Night.
Are you worried about Jesus coming and using your washrag to clean up with?
No
Do you think He'll ask the Buddha to wash his back?
Yes
Do you think the Buddha will?
Yes, most humbly
Are you rumbly in your tumbly?
No.
Is the theme to rhyme today?
No
I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife .
Doesn't it ?
No, at this point you might as well mash the peas.
Do you like chopsticks? [potential segue to music here]
Yes, if someone else is using them.
Did you know General Tso?
Yes. He was my next door neighbor.
He kept a really nice yard.
Did you ever try his chicken?
Try it? I love it!
Is there good Chinese food in your vicinity?
No. Not really.
Does La Choy count?
No...
Do you watch out for sodium content?
Yes, but it certainly limits my Chinese food intake.
Do you prefer Chinese or Hispanic food?
uhhh... Yes.
do all cuisines have a 'burrito'?
yes... er mayb...um kinda.
ever eat chittlins?
No!
Ever had pickled pigs feet?
Ewww...no!
Do you feel sorry for all the footless pigs?
Nope. They should run faster next time.
I also don't feel sorry for the frogs who lose their legs for fancy resturants.
Will you be donating to "The Dollies For Froggies" Foundation?
Yes.
Do you think the Gates Foundation would contribute?
No, they like frogs' legs
Does anybody eat the rest of the frog?
Hell no. I wouldn't eat the legs to begin with, either.
Why eat frog's legs when chicken legs have so much more meat on them?
Yes. No. I mean...why eat anything on the bone period?
Ever had a bad experience with a chicken leg?
No
Does a chicken have lips?
Yes. The better to kiss you with, my dear.
Can a woodchuck chuck wood?
No!
Does a butter fly? Does a picket fence?
Yes. No.
Would Jesus be a vegetarian?
yes. According to his Hitler-ish disciple, PAUL, he would be.
Do you hate the disciple Paul?
no, not hate
Thomas is my favorite. Is he yours too?
No, I doubt it.
Do you think there were 12 deciples so that they could eventually do calendars?
Yes.
Plus the group rate on the donkey rental.
When Jesus returns, will he want to see all those crosses?
Yes. He may want to wax nostalgic.
Do you think he will gather up all the cross splinters that were sold in necklaces?
Yes
Does Paul reming you of your seventh grade math teacher? Beuhler? Beuhler?
No.
Did you ever take a day off like Ferris?
Yes - I was in the US military, operating in the fringe of a Central American country, when I took off for the capital city. Senior, in-country, US conventional military commanders became highly perturbed and were talking courts martial. Fortunately, I had country-wide temporary duty orders; so, I wasn't under their jurisdiction. Later back stateside, I explained to my actual boss [spec. ops.] that I had designated my replacement for that day and took off to celebrate the occasion of my 30th birthday! The boss smiled, said that he didn't like those particular in-country commanders anyway, and blew the whole thing off!! I owe it all to Ferris!!! :D
Have you ever had a close call?
Yes. Shortly after I got my driver's license, I was weaving in and out of traffic. All proud of my skill. As I approached a red light, I swerved over to a lane that had fewer cars in it. The car in front of me was slowing down more abruptly than I anticipated, and when I swerved to another lane, I came within an inch or two of clipping it's rear at a pretty high speed. I immediately realized that I was acting like an idiot, and I stopped driving like I owned the road. Now I'm a safe driver.
Have you ever mutilated or otherwise destroyed a book?
Yes, cut out a hole in the middle of a hard-back to hide my stash, when I a teenager.
Do you save magazines after you read them?
No.
Do you want this old Oprah mag?
No.
But do you have a copy of Highlights for Children?
No.
Is it ridiculously hot where you are?
Yes.
Are you bothered by the Woody Allen/Scarlett Johanssan thing?
No.
Should I pay more attention to the celebrities?
No. They get too much already.
Are you going on a vacation this summer?
No. I like Salmon, Tuna, Haddock, Halibut, etc...but no crustaceans!
Do you think it's impossible that I was a mermaid in my past life?
No.
Will my increasingly corporate job eventually drive me postal?
Yes.
Will I be able to find a non-corporate job that will pay me decently?
Yes!
Will my colon need resectioned?
No, then it would be a semicolon
Do you mind having something poking up your ass?
No, but prodding Uranus would be OK.
Do you approve of interplanetary relationships?
Yes, when the moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars ...
Will you fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars, let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars?
No
Will you shoot the moon?
No.
Can we put off starting this weekend's orgy until tomorrow? I'm too tired :blush:
sure
Have you ever had sex with more than three people in one night?
No (am I missing something?)
If you had a perfect body, would you strip for huge amounts of cash?
yes.
Have you ever gone to a strip club?
Yeah.
Ever gone dancing at a gay bar?
Yes.
Have you ever danced with someone of the same sex?
No.
Has anyone of the same sex asked you to dance?
Yes.
Has anyone ever asked you to buy *them* a drink?
No.
Have you ever been kissed unwillingly while you were almost unconscious by someone of the same sex?
No - I was conscious.
Have you ever wanted to kiss someone of the same sex?
No
Have you been kissed in the last 24 hours?
No.
Did you have someone that you wanted to kiss?
Yes.
Have you ever just lit out for the territories?
No
Have you ever started a forest fire?
No
Have you met Smokey the Bear?
Hell yes, I AM Smokey the Bear! Or at least Stampy the Rhino.
Can you start a fire with flint and steel?
I most certainly can, assuming the steel is in the form of a thumbwheel and the flint is pressed against it with a small spring, and there's a reservoir of butane which is released with the push of a small button.
Can you start a fire with sticks?
Can you start a fire with sticks?
No. I tried in my youth, using a dowel chucked into a drill and held against a board. I figure if an electric drill can't spin a dowel fast enough against a board to start a fire, then the stories I heard about the indians doing it with a bow must be bullshit. Or at least highly suspect.
Have you ever in your life been flexible enough to put your feet behind your head?
Yes, but don't ask for the pictures.
Can you stick it in your ear?
Yes, I can stick a Q-tip in my ear but there is a warning on the package.
Have you ever almost killed yourself using heavy equipment?
Not this week, but yes.
Have you ever felt like, "aw just fuck it"?
Yup.
Then her husband came home.
Have you ever tried to get dressed in a dark closet with a pocket full of change and an angry husband with a shotgun on the other side of the door?
no. why arent you on a milk carton?
yes, no?
Has Sun been away too long and forgotten how to play? :p
Yes, the Sparkz aren't flying as one would expect, here or
elsewhere!
Is it playtime yet?
Nope, we are still in the hour of scampering.
Do you have the alarm set?
No
Do I have to get up early?
yes.
Will doom come at the crack of dawn?
nope.
Did your first time having sex with someone you love?
No
Do you like how you look naked?
No, and neither does anyone else.
Have you ever had a truly embarassing bathroom accident?
No , a concert or two but no bad accidents.
Ever been cought pissing in public ??
No, but it's highly over-rated anyway.
Have you ever been caught with your pants down?
Yes - compromising even
Have you ever been caught with someone elses pants down?
Yes, and my skirt fit him just fine too.
Why don't we do it in the road?
Ask a hedgehog.
did you ever have a midnight feast as a child?
Yes
Ever have a midnight feast as an adult?
Yes, but the police chased us out of the graveyard.
Ever see a midnight movie?
Yes.
Was it Rocky Horror?
Yes
Did you see me there?
No,
What were you wearing?
no...yes....????
Was I naked?
Tremendously.
Are you gonna see the latest movie?
No
Do you like the vast majority of the movies that have come out lately?
No, the remake is rarely better than the original.
Do you prefer the originals over the remakes?
No - I prefer the high tech hyped up remakes.
Does that make me shallow?
No, Hal.
If you could remake a famous movie, would you?
Yes. I'd like to re-shoot Gone With the Wind in an Arizona trailer park.
Is that too much a working class dream?
No, more like a welfare dream.
Would you cast Jaime Pressly in the role of Scarlet O'Hara?
Yup.
With Gilbert Godfreid as Rhett Butler.
Would you use the White House as "Tara"?
No, I would use Buckingham Palace
Would you ban remakes being set in a different country if you could?
No. I've always wanted to see the Chinese interpretation of When Harry Met Sally.
Is it sheer laziness to not shower before noon?
No. It's sheer laziness not to shower before the end of the month.
Shall I risk the sushi in the fridge now that my stomach has stopped hurting (on a Kill Or Cure trip)?
Better Not. At some point in our lives we've got to practice Safety First.
Is there a doctor in the House?
I work for the NHS - of course there's a Doctor in the house... and pharmacists, nurses and other assorted healthcare professionals....
I'm eating it right now. Do you despise me for being so greedy?
Not at all. Greed is something I look for in a friend so that I don't look so bad myself!
Are you going to post in, oh, say about a hour that your tummy hurts so I can say in a snotty voice, "I told you so!" ;)
No. Although that's because I may well be in the pub by then, upping the Kill or Cure to the nth degree.
Would you prefer to talk about you now, rather than me?
No
Will alcohol kill whatever is causing your tummy ache?
Yes - well, that is what I tell myself. It's stopped aching for the time being anyway.
Is it raining where you are?
No, but give it time.
If wishes were horses, would beggars ride?
No.
If you were a beggar, would you be wishing for a horse?
No, I'd be begging for one
Can beggers be choosers?
No
Does a stitch in time save nine?
No that's a common legend. It really only saves 8.523
Do you believe me?
Sure, I'll bite.
Is a bird in the hand better than two in the bush?
No. They are exactly equal. One is not better than another.
Did you pee in the shower this morning?
Nope, because I haven't showered yet today.
Do you ask for booths when you go out to eat?
No, just one.
Have you ever eaten at the bar in a diner?
Yes. That's where the most interesting people are.
Do you talk to the people around you at the bar in the diner?
Yes, if I've had a few beers.
Are you comfortable going to a bar alone, just to have a drink and reflect on the day?
Yes!!
Are you drinking alone if you are the only person in the bar besides the bartender?
Nothing wrong with that.
Are you going to have someone else drive you home?
I am now.
Do you like Chivas?
No.
Do I like all liquor but Scotch and gin?
Yes?
Will liquor make this wretched desolate existence of mine go away?
Well--yes and no. Alcohol is the cause of, and answer to, all life's problems! (credit Homer J. Simpson)
Do you want to play hookey today?
Yes.
Will you play with me?
Yes.
Has anyone ever flung poo at you (anyone includes animals, in this instance)?
Yes. Humans. Crazy ones.
Have you ever been so tired of people's games that you quit playing them?
Yes. It cost me all of 18K a year, whooptie friggin do.
Do administrators naturally suck?
You been "upstairs" administrators, or "system/network admins" ???
That's not a yes or no answer!
Isn't that against the rules? (That is indeed my spoilsport question...)
Yes. It cost me all of 18K a year, whooptie friggin do.
Do administrators naturally suck?
you may continue
It is an oral reflex.
What does history smell like?
Yes, it does smell like pomagranates and old album covers.
Do we all know the rules? ;)
Are you trying to administer me, Mr. Rule-man?
No. I'm only sposed to minister to Pete.
Do you always paddle upstream?
No. Sometimes I use the motor.
Are we all just dust in the wind?
Yes, yes we are.
Do you know where you're going to?
I use to think I did.
Anyone hittin' up the lake *one last time*?
No, all out of cannonballs.
Are you gonna be up a lazy river this week?
No
Are you gonna be up Shit Creek without a paddle?
Most probably.
Do you have a crick in your neck?
Yes.
Have you ever had blood pool?
No
Will it be good for my skin??
No. At least I assume not - it sounds grim.
Have you ever skinned anything?
Yes - fruit and old pudding.
Do you eat chicken skin?
Only if it's crispy and/or flavoured
Do you like breasts? Chicken I mean - obviously
Yes, yum.
Do you like thighs (chicken?)
Yes I do hon!
Have you heard the joke about why KFC is like a woman?
Yes I will! - bit rude, so I've hidden it
[COLOR="White"]Why is a woman like a KFC?
Because once you're done with the legs and breast, all you're left with is a smelly box...[/COLOR]
Did you find that funny?
It managed to make me smirk, so we'll go with a yes
Are you aware that the Colonel and Elvis share a home in Fiji?
No!
Is it right next door to the Morrison/Hendrix place?
Nope (although I've heard it's down the street from Tom Cruise's and William Shatner's digs)
Do you enjoy Jello shots?
Yes - they are handy because they also give your tongue a workout.
Will this thread go on forever?
Yes, because new people will become involved from time to time.
Is this the first time you've responded to a question here?
Not really. It would be mildly disturbing if you meant the other kind though.
Does anyone have some coffe to lend me?
That is the sound that someone makes when they have a cold. :p
Why is water clear and snow white?
No!
Am I as clever as I think I am?
Yes.
Should I thank you for asking a yes/no question?
No, just doing my job
Are you having a good day?
No. I just worked with a guy that made me more stupid for the experience.
Are you hiring?
Yes.
Would you like to be yelled at by students, underpaid, overworked, and stressed (but be appreciated by peers and the students you actually get to help?)
No.
Have you ever wondered if you might be crazy, but no one else knows?
Yes.
And now I'm on anti-depressants I would worry a lot more if fellow Cellarites hadn't consoled me.
Should I have a pizza tonight?
Edited to add - I am treating this like a Magic 8 Ball
Yes, w/ lots of greasy pepperoni!
Are the umm... Midlands getting sufficient exercise?
No of course not.
I'd have to be an Olympic athlete to work off
tA Sizzler
Are you planning/ have you had an unhealthy meal tonight?
Yes.
I have decided to break my diet and have Miller Lite for dinner. I can't be good all the time.
Are you good all the time?
Oh yes I'm good
but not in a way that would benefit my health
Do you play the Lottery (or local variant thereof)
Yes, occasionally.
Do you have lotteries over there across the pond?
Oh yes!
And walking home has me distributing the wealth in order of preference :)
Do you have a plan how to spend the money if you win?
Yes!
Does having a butler seem pretensious?
No.
Did the butler REALLY do it?
No, it was Major Grey with the chutney in the kitchen.
how about some lamb vindaloo?
Yes?
do you know what lamb vindaloo is?
Yes!
Do you get a buzz from eating spicy food?
No, I get a buzz from drinking alcohol.
Do you get drunk after a few chicken wings?
Yes.
Does a bear sit in the woods?
Yes
does The Pope live in Greenwich Village?
No
Can you find the popes in the pizza?
No - what we call endive you call chicory and vice versa
Can your ex jive?
Like a turkey!
Is your member gold?
Yes.
Can your cat drive?
(I had a cat named Toonces. Best cat on earth.)
Yes.
Am I a golden god?
Yes?
Do golden gods cause golden showers? :eek3:
yes
are you a cunning linguist?
not yet
do you sing in the shower?
Yes, and I'm sure everyone in my building can hear me. I hope they like Motown.
Do you like to walk in the rain?
Yes and it becomes easier if you walk faster and faster and faster until WHOOSH ....... HYDROPLANE! :eek: At least that's what I used to tell soldiers when I had to force march them in the rain. :rolleyes:
Do you take rainchecks?
No, but I take snow plaids.
Do you own a rain gauge?
yes
Doe the rain in Spain fall mainly on the plain?
Yes, with a little bit of luck.
Does it rain on the street where you live?
I don't live on the street.
Do you have a minute?
Yes. Actually I have all day lol.
Do you need a minute?
No.
Have you ever made an obscene phone call to a WRONG number?
No. (they were all the right numbers)
Do you have naughty fantasies about people you shouldn't?
uh, yeah.
Do you have naughty realities with people you shouldn't?
No.
Should you have naughty realities with people you shouldn't?
No, I wouldn't shouldn't anyone ... it's impolite.
Have you ever been the subject of mistaken identity?
Yes, although rarely.
Should I take some more allergy medicine?
No.
If you don't, will you have to suck it up, phlegmily speaking?
Yes.
Do you enjoy being phlegmatic?
No, I spit on the idea ... ptooey!
Can we all breath a sigh of relief now?
Yes, the tornadoes are gone.
Should I party all weekend long?
Yes, but why stop Sunday?
Should I go stargazing tonight?
Yes. Unless your anus is in opposition.
I've heard that Saturday nights alright for fightin, is Friday alright for lovin?
Yes. If you have a girl Friday, go for it!
Do you often have just another manic Monday?
never....although it seems now that tuesday's gone with the wind
does this dress make my ass look big?
No, it's as big an ass as you always were.
Am I going to be sorry I said that?
no
have you ever had your eyeballs get dried out while you reread 37 of the 110 pages of a thread, and gave up cuz the rythm of the posts was making you queasy
No. LOL - That was funny.
Have you ever gone to work just to relax because your home life is all fucked up at the time?
No... well, yes...uh, not since last Friday!
If you could pitch a tent a work might you spend a night or two there?
No
If Lumberpoet pitched a tent in his pants, would you spend a night or two there?
No!!! - I'd be scared of his wife!!
Would you pitch a tent in your pants for me to spend a nite or two there?
Yes and I hope you enjoy the animal acts under the big top!
Would you like to spend some time in a tent city?
Yes, I love camping.
Do you often sleep under the stars?
No, I sleep under a roof.
Ever sleep on a roof?
no
ever roof in your sleep?
Yes. I met them at a shingles bar.
Did you find that punny?
yes, punny, not funny.
do you know any *good* puns?
Yes (Two women are walking along the docks one evening. They see some sailors wandering around. "My goodness" says the first woman "aren't they out after hours?" The second woman replies "I sure hope so!)
Was that better?
Off at flying school I believe.
Did you have an answer?
No.
Would like to learn how to fly?
no, but i would like to buy the world a coke
can you sing well?
i mean yes, i would like to learn how to fly. i don;t know why i said no.
I don't know, but hum the first few bars of well, and I'll fake it.
Do you like pina colada?
No
Do you think that song is about a couple cheaters?:)
Yes
Is your favorite color blue?
Yes. I also like green, purple, violet, yellow. Don't care for orange or red. Reds okay if it's a rose.
Is love really blue?
yes, eventually. often at the very beginning and sometimes at the end.
do you like my
new boots?Yes.
Do they match your handbag?
No, these boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do: one of these days these boots are gonna walk ...
Are you going to hit me with your handbag?!
No.
Do you have change for a 20?
No
Would you scratch my back?
Sure.
Lemme get my "Freddy Krueger" glove, and I'll be right there...
Do you think, or does it just get you in trouble?
Yes, and yes. That was two questions. Technically, that is outside the parameters of the thread. I originally thought to correct the drift you induced by asking two questions by answering only one of them, but I feared the ambiguousness of my answer would diminish what little humor I'd hoped to communicate, so two answers it was, even though it was the same answer twice. Having said that,
See what I mean?
No; but, ...
...could it be yes?
No
Couldn't it not be no?
Yes.
Is you is or is you ain't my baby?
I ain't nobody's baby. Meet baby.
should I go to the shore this weekend?
Yes. You shore should!
Will you sell seashells by the seashore (5 times fast)?
No, no shell games for me thank you!
Are you looking forward to this Friday - the 13th?
No - it is my little brother's 30th birthday, I am officially old
Do you feel your age?
Yes. Sometimes, like this past year - much older.
Do you feel "Bummed Out" more than once a week because of other issues that you really do NOT need to be involved in but they get you inviolved somehow?
Yes. I'm a "fixer" who can't fix myself.
Do you believe in karma?
Yes, but not seriously
Do you read your horoscope?
Yes, but usually at night.
Do you believe your horoscope?
Yes, as much as I believe any other randomly selected generalization.
Do you think Rosalyn Carter actually saw Lincoln's ghost in the White House?
No.
Do you think anyone anywhere has ever actually seen a ghost?
Yes and No. I don't believe in ghosts. However, the human imagination is pretty darn convincing. Religious people believe ghosts are demons. Non-religious people believe they are human spirits. Therefore, to honestly answer this question we would have to define ghosts.
But that would take to long. Therefore my real answer is:
YES!
Do you believe in Demons?
Yes. I work with one everyday.
I'm religious and I don't believe that ghosts are demons. I believe that ghots are spirits...and that ghosts can be either good or bad. However, I've never actually seen one...so whether they actually exist or not is beyond me.
Has anyone ever been part of a Séance?
Yes, but nobody saw me.
Would you want your friends to have a Séance to contact you if you were dead?
No. I would be seeing them soon enough without it.
Would you like to be reincarnated?
Yes - as a cat.
Do you like cats?
Yes, although mine have ripped me to shreds by not leaping high enough to reach my shoulders
Do you have any bruises or scratches on your person at present?
Actually yes, I have lots of them. I just moved though, so that could be why.
Has anyone ever dropped a hammer on their face and given themselves a black eye?
No!
Have you ever stapled your finger?
No
Have you ever fingered your staple?
Yes - actually I fingered about 10 of them in my knee.
Are you accident prone?
No.
Have you ever broken any bones in your body?
Yes - both collar bones & 4 fingers.
Am I accident prone?
Yes
Do you wear adult diapers because you are accident prone?
Yes, but only on days that end in a Y
Are adult nappies sexy?
No. Especially not when they throw them in the sanitary bins in the bathrooms and the whole place smells like rank nasty piss.
Who does that?
Oh, that's not yes or no...
Is that cool?
Um, no.
Are you still hungry for dinner?
Yes - but I have a Parmi in the oven, so I wont be for much longer.
Is my headache a tumor?
"It's not a too-mah!" (I mean, No.)
Is my stomach ache the flu?
No - unless there are other symptoms you are not sharing
Will I be asked to cover Reception next week, leading to me becoming incandescent with rage and saying unprofessional things?
Probably!
Did I get totally back-stabbed by the biggest phony liar in the world at work yesterday, leading me to take some vac time so I could get out of here before I said something to get me fired, then subsequently went to the bar? :)
(Sorry to use QA as rant space!)
Yes.
Do some people just suck and there's nothing to be done about it?
Yes.
[SIZE="1"]Did we just lose font sizes for some reason? (This is SIZE="1")[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]NO[/SIZE]<<<<size 2
Have you been smoking stuff you shouldnt again Flint????
No, he was just "getting small." Ironic for someone from Texas!
Would you like to make a [SIZE="3"]BIG[/SIZE] deal out of it?
No
But does size really matter?
No, "sighs" won't make any difference.
Are things looking up?
No, "things" don't have eyes that look anywhere?
Are you anthropomorphising
I don't know...
Are you human?
No, I'm a frayed knot.
Is it *still* raining outside?
not here
is this true?
Green highlighter on the outer rim of CD's make them writeable.
--Dan Reed
I hope so, or I am taking all these highlighters back to the store.
Have you ever had an addiction to Gallaga?
No - at least I don't think so (don't know what it is?!)
Am currently addicted to bargain hunting on eBay
Have you ever bought/ sold from there?
no, ebay virgin here.
do you shop the second hand stores?
Yes. I have furnished many an apartment by the graces of second hand stores.
Have you ever mixed cheap rum with generic sugar-free kool-aid?
Edited as case was quicker!
I have never drunk kool aid in my life, so that's a no
Have you ever mixed very strong white cider with ginger beer?
No, but you don't care after the first two pints
Do you have daylight saving where you are?
(our clocks go back this weekend)
Yes
Do you prefer to spring forward or fall back?
Bzzzzzzt!
Wrong thread! Penalty: 2 minutes for cross posting.
Play on!
Ooops:redface:
Yes
Do you like to fall back?
Yes! It means I get an extra hour sleep
(even if you just mean fall back onto my mattress :))
Do you spring forward often?
No, mostly I fall forward!
Is the weather turning cold over there across the pond?
No, sadly - I'm still in short sleeves with no coat!
Do you expect snow this winter?
No (I live in Texas)
Are you only happy when it rains?
no, happy wet or dry
does it have to get worse before it gets better?
yes (sometimes) so that you are inspired to make things better
Am I pretty?
You're morethanpretty
Will the Cards take the Series?
yes
has it already been the last time?
No
Does it feel like the first time?
No, you only get one chance to make a first impression.
Has anything impressed you much?
ehhh. yes.
Do you dress to impress?
Always
Do you dress to show your assets?
No, I disguise myself mostly.
Is an ounce of appearance really worth a pound of performance?
Not according to my girlfriend.
Is there a Cellerite who impresses you?
Yes, Bruce.
Is there a Cellarite who pisses you off?
yes, duh.
Is there a cellarite that makes you horny?
Yes...you don't want me to tell you which one.
Spring Forward or Fall Back?
Why yes, thank you so much for offering, I'll take a fall back.
Will someone catch me?
Edit: I yield the right of way to LJ's following post seeing that he and 'spode are on a roll. ;)
as long as it's not the same answer as the one before the last, i damn well do wanna know which one.
fall back. i need more sleep
shaken or stirred?
No, not me. Those who are shaken or stirred can't remember to ask questions which can be answered with a yes or no reply.
Should we have a stupid questions thread? [This could be the first question in it.]
Should we have a stupid questions thread?
No , you got it here
ever posted a pic of a boob on the net ??
Yes
Does that make me a bad person?
No
Will you tell me where I can see the picture of your boob?
No, my penis broken.
Do you have a crayon?
No, I gave all mine to my neice, but my roomie has some.
Have you ever done something you now regret on a dare?
Nah - you will only regret it if you think about it.
Do you have a sordid story you would like to share?
I have lots. ;)
Do you want to hear one?
Yes, we want to hear them all in a Sordid Stories thread!
Did you get squiffy?
Yes - I have been squiffy when most of my sordid stories have occurred
Would you really post a sordid story on the internet, esp now as we all seem to be identifying ourselves?
Totally,
Is anyone else dizzY?
No, not yet...my split of Veuve is still chilling in the freezer (ooh la la).
Are you dressing up for Halloween tonight?
No, halloween was last night and we don't 'do' halloween here anyway.
Do you like Halloween?
No. It is a bizarre American tradition that as no place in Europe.
Is this really a write-only thread?
No, many have left.
Is it really November, already?
Yep.
Can you believe we've got snow in the forecast?
Yep.
Do the goats play in the snow?
yes much capering
Is this thread winding down?
-pokes the corpse with a stick-
Well, its definately dead if you stop posting questions.
How sad is a thread that has lost its meaning, to drift uncared for into oblivion, forgotten?
Ask "a random thread about nothing, in nothingland"
It doesn't help a thread if the question isn't yes/no.
Is LJ going to get me for ridiculing his thread?
Yes, he's checking his list, and checking it twice (and you're on it one way or another)
Would you rather be somewhere else right now?
Yes.
Anyone win any lotteries lately?
no
So does anyone have exciting Thanksgiving plans for next week?
Yes - if I win the final rollover (£120m this Friday) I am coming over to the US and treating you all!
Did we scare off buddag?
(Even she's invited)
Nah - that dog doesn't scare so easily.
Anybody takin the week off for turkey day?
no. just wed, we get fri as a uni holiday.
is all of your good halloween candy gone yet?
No still some in the Fridge. I make my son pay me a candy commission for the costume.
Ready for winter?
No, I'm ready for summer again... bring on the global warming I hate cold weather!
Did you know it is imposible to bite through your own skin?
No! But I don't believe it.
Did you have to dress nice today, because you forgot to do laundry last night?
No, but it is piling up...
Are you as excited as I am for turkey day? (I love food, especially when someone else prepares it, heh heh heh...)
Heck yes I am! I'm gonna starve myself the day before to make room for all the good stuff.
Do you think people who read my last question on here actually tried to bite themselves? (it really is impossible unless you are crazy fyi, it is a built in defense mechanism your brain won't let you bite that hard on yourself)
No - I thought about it, but decided the guys at work would think I was a nutter.
Have you ever inflicted pain on yourself , just coz ya could?
Not anymore; but, I used to do it fairly regularly when I was long distance running and would hit "the wall." :thepain: That is, of course, until i ran through the wall and the endorphines kicked in. :D
Have you ever had a Rocky Mountain high?
I've been high in the Rockies.
Does that count?
Yes it does
Do you get high often?
No. I like to start high and get small so that terminal velocity increases.
Have you already done all of your holiday shopping?
NOT
Have you done ANY if your holiday shoping ??
Yes! I got a mink kitchen apron for my sister to use in her chateau in France (faux fur, real chateau)
Will your days be merry and bright?
It has only begun.
Have you decorated yet?
Yes, I pulled a snowman (pronounced snow-mun) mug out and put it on my counter.
Can you loan me Christmas?
Edited to add:
Yikes, in light of another thread I want to make absolutely sure you all know I'm kidding! :D
You can HAVE Christmas. Do you think a person would burn in hell forever if they went out on BLM land and cut down a 2 foot pinon pine for their X-mas tree?
They wouldn't go to hell, but you might get a fine if you get caught.
Do you think it's time for me to put my tree up yet?
I will if you will. I haven't even bought one yet.
Is it time to start shopping, or should I wait till the last second . . . AGAIN.
Time to start shopping now, for that tree.
If you aren't cutting it yourself, it's best to buy one as soon as possible and stick it in a bucket of water in the back yard until you a ready to bring it inside. Otherwise you'll be buying a pre-dried tree. They are mostly all cut in late October early November and trucked to the lots. It's not like buying it just before Christmas will mean it's any fresher.
Do these jeans make my ass look big?
Yes.
Does my ass make these jeans look big?
No - more like sausage casings.
Am I glad that I'm a few states west?
If you're not, you should be! :p
Would you rather be a few states east?
No, because then I couldn't sneak off and cut pinons. I'm taking orders. Fresh and ship the same day, $5.00 - $20.00 depending on size. Shipping extra.
Want one?
No.
Would you like a gum tree?
Yes...would it survive in this climate?
Do you chew gum?
No. Do you chew on the cookies that get left out for Santa on X-mas Eve?
No. They are all eaten up before I remember to put any out for Santa :blush:
Does your cat climb the Christmas tree?
No! The fact that no one has seen the cat since we through out last year's Christmas tree is just a coincidence. :rolleyes:
Can reindeer really have a fear of flying?
Yes.
Do you remember Kagen404?
Yes, I think I do.
Is there ever gonna be peace on earth?
No.
Does that surprise you?
No
If I put myself on ignore will I disappear into another dimension? Conversely, if I put myself on my buddy list will I double?
No - but for heaven's sake don't try it!
Is the Snack Box man going to come and refill the box tomorrow?
No - but for heaven's sake don't try it!
Is the Snack Box man going to come and refill the box tomorrow?
No, our Snack Man got fired for being creepy. He is now Snake Man.
Is the inability to monitor vending machines a universal problem?
Yes[SIZE="1"]- [COLOR="Silver"]although in this case it's an open box with an "honesty" slot.... Which I am thinking of raiding for my bus fare home (with the intention of paying it back Monday I mean)[/SIZE][/COLOR]
Should I risk it?
Sure
Do you feel guilty if you forget to put money in for coffee at work?
Yes. Honesty box owners are suckers.
Am I just too trusting?
Nah, not at all.
Saaayyyyyyyy, I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell ya...
Do you think you're too trusting?
no, but i am interested in this property you speak of
was this thread too old to revive?
No...it's appropriate that you revived it, since you started it.
Is 6PM too late to have another large coffee?
Yes
Am I excited that I am off on holidays Friday AND I will see Army dude?
yes
is St. Patrick's a big holiday down under?
no, its just like any other day except you notice a few extra people wearing green at the pub.
should i booze it up tonight even though im working in the morning?
Sure!
What's the worst thing that could happen?
no, i think your mistaken for the "last words" thread there
am i right? huh? eh?
Yes
So did you booze it up last night?
yes...yes i did
should i go for a 23km run tomorrow?
Um, yes, you go right ahead and do that. No one will be doing that on this part of the Earth, I don't think.
Will this horrible sleet end any time soon? It sounds like shards of glass have been hitting my window...for hours and hours.
not until morning. i'll be driving past your place on my way to work. i'll beep
will the magic 8 ball lie to me?
Yes, but it doesn't mean to (oh, and please don't beep to early)
Is Bruce Springsteen a great songwriter? (Does he write his own songs?)
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