What is your favorite cuss word?

My personal favorite is FUCK I just like the way it sounds, and it is so versitile. :)

Yes, FUCK(!!) is always nice but when really tweaked off and ready to do battle, I'd call someone a God Damned telephone.

There are few modern devices that I hate as much as the God Damned telephone. They are such a pain in my ass you'll never know.

So...if when angry I call someone a GDT they are confused at that moment and/or convinced that I'm somehow off my meds and this normally diffuses the situation.

Sure, some may smile nervously but being called a telephone is something very serious to me and it shows through my tone and posture when using it.

Some may even laugh out loud but the laughing stops suddenly with a follow up comparison to that person and a CELL PHONE.

[SIZE=1]Then a smiling woman with black gloves approaches me with a soft voice........[/SIZE]

Fuck. It's the greatest word in the English language.

The only one I'm denied, Cunt. In the U.S. most women will stab you to death for saying it. Apparently, in other parts of the world, it's at approximately the obscenity level that Fuck is in the U.S.

I love the word because of how vile you can make it sound. Fuck sounds playful and Shit is barely a curse anymore.

give ya 3 guesses

There are so many, I'd rather not choose.

Although "god–cursed piss cutting whore sons of bitches" has a certain charm.

A friend recently told me a story attributed to Samuel Clemens.

After his spewing forth a curdling stream of invective, Clemen's wife approached him and asked if he realized what he'd just said. She then repeated verbatim every foul word he'd uttered.

He looked up at her and said "You've got all the words, but you'll never have the tune."

most likely, apochryphal, but the deeper truth is what counts.

It really is the delivery.

"Fuck", but more specifically, "Jesus God damn fucking Christ"! Must be said gutterally, and works best with two-day growth on your face.

If referring to a person, "prick" is simple and to the point. Non-verbal -

footfootfoot wrote:

It really is the delivery.

I gave my favorites up once I had kids. But as foot mentions, delivery means a lot. My favorite cuss word alternatives are: crud, sniveling twit (mostly used while driving), and my personal favorite - dagnabbit.

Spexxvet wrote:

......and works best with two-day growth on your face.

Abso-FUCKING-lutely.

chinga tu madre.

and.

cunt was the only cuss word i wasn't allowed to use in my house growing up.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

noun.verb.adjective.adverb.

Bitch- but I really think that comes under "terms of endearment." If she's doing things right. :love:

"Great balls of fire!"

My Dad was a southerner and a gentleman, even if he was career Army, and when he was really mad in the presence of me and my Mom, he'd let this curse slip from his lips.

I love it! Its majestic and rather unsusal and rolls trippingly off the tongue!

My fav that I reserve for special times is KUNT with a cap K !!!

dar512 wrote:

I gave my favorites up once I had kids. But as foot mentions, delivery means a lot. My favorite cuss word alternatives are: crud, sniveling twit (mostly used while driving), and my personal favorite - dagnabbit.

My usual kid friendly cuss is "Rodents" which superceded "Rats"

We were at the coop getting bananas for the inchlet (2yo). When I saw that they were out, I said RATS rather directly.

Inch went a little bonkers trying to see the rats and asking everyone "do you see the rat?"

Luckily it was fairly quiet.

grant wrote:

The only one I'm denied, Cunt. In the U.S. most women will stab you to death for saying it. Apparently, in other parts of the world, it's at approximately the obscenity level that Fuck is in the U.S.

I love the word because of how vile you can make it sound. Fuck sounds playful and Shit is barely a curse anymore.

down here i call everyone cunts. i have a running joke with a friend (female too) about how funny a cuntface would be. imagine a person with a cunt for a face. now picture them blowing their nose, eating spagetti, popping pimples, giving birth etc etc

Much to Mr Fargon's chagrin I usually say "goddamnit" when I swear, thought the common favorite F*** can also be heard from my corner.

In polite company or when children are within hearing range my exclamation is "oh heavens!"

"goddamnit" Is one I over use. Like when I'm doing something and the dog starts barking, when a car door slams within miles.

the ol' FFS is used a lot in my day to day life

Fuck.

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckin' fuck, fuckin' A. 1001 fucking uses.

I also favor the compound, motherfuck.

I use fucklot as a measure of both mass and volume.

I like fucking.

er. I meant to type. "I like fuck."

Interestingly, while I curse like a sailor*, I rarely blaspheme.

* Why is the expression, curse like a sailor. Although I have never spent time with any shipboard, I don't ever really recall hearing a sailor curse. To any extreme or particularly colorful degree, anyway.

fuck is a great curse word, although I feel it has lost it's real value as a proper insult, it seems to work better as an explative. for me anyway, but it does roll right out in sooooo many different ways. right now I have to say that ass-ratchet and cock-wrench are two of my favorites.. and accidental ones to boot.

I guess it depends on the context.

fuck knuckle, fuck stick, fuck shaft,

bloody asshole and bloody cunt also have horrific images.

jerk...although its not really swearing...ive found that calling someone a jerk really goes deep into their soul

Bloody hell is my favourite...

I save 'fuck' for special occassions. That usually gets attention since I rarely swear.

sonofawhore

all-time fave... fuck-wad.

I once called my ex a "dick with ears".... that one came from absolutely no where...

I have been trying to clean up my potty mouth lately, and I'm pretty much down to the occasional "fucktard" for someone who is particularly idiotic. I've recently discovered the power of certain facial expressions that convey the "fuck you" without having to pollute the air with such pedestrian invective.

The only curse I can't tolerate in my presence is "Jesus Christ" with "fucking" in between. It makes me see red. If you use it in front of me, you can suck the infected cock of a dead donkey. Just don't be blasphemous.

I'm not sure if this is blatant hypocrisy or just my own personal thing.

Witless cunt.

mrnoodle wrote:

The only curse I can't tolerate in my presence is "Jesus Christ" with "fucking" in between. It makes me see red. If you use it in front of me, you can suck the infected cock of a dead donkey. Just don't be blasphemous.

this comment cost you 10 points of coolness quotient.

it's only blasphemy if:
A. you're right, and Christ is the only true Lord.
or
B. the speaker is as whacky Christian as you are.

fucktard.

It's an insult to the name of my God. why wouldn't it be offensive? I have a thin, zigzaggy line, but eventually something crosses it.



Luckily I have billions of cool points left.

If it didn't offend someone, it wouldn't be an effective cuss and therefore it wouldn't ever be said. Nobody says "Kentucky Fucking Chicken". Although they really ought to.

Undertoad wrote:

Nobody says "Kentucky Fucking Chicken". Although they really ought to.

Kinky Kentucky...

Jesus Kentucky Chicken Christ. :headshake No, it just doesn't have the same effect...

I once refered to a 2nd LT. as a -
"Fucking witless cocksucking whoremaster fairy."
I avoided a courtmartial simply because my Captain agreed.

lumberjim wrote:

this comment cost you 10 points of coolness quotient.

High School's over, Jim. It's ok to grow up now. Really.

Undertoad wrote:

If it didn't offend someone, it wouldn't be an effective cuss and therefore it wouldn't ever be said. Nobody says "Kentucky Fucking Chicken". Although they really ought to.

Actually, I say Kentucken F*ckin Chicken it rolls off the tongue better. But yah it lacks venom. I generally stick with the classics. Mutha F

Kant Fucking Cook.

a little jesus fucking christ never goes astray. or bitch ass buddha, mother fucking moses.

i understand where youre coming from with being insulted by someone using "your" gods name in vain or whatever. but it is just a name. and if its my god too then i have every right to say what i want about him/her/it


any swear word with a random word can be an insult
cunt sack
fuck cup
cock moniter
cunt lamp
fuck printer
cock chair
(if you havent guessed im just saying stuff around me)

You have a cunt, fuck, cock, cunt, fuck and cock around you? :lol:

I have no idea where it came from, but I've said "Christ on a cracker!" repeatedly in the last few weeks. I'm pretty fickle though, the next one will come out of nowhere soon, and I'll forget all about this one.

wolf wrote:

* Why is the expression, curse like a sailor. Although I have never spent time with any shipboard, I don't ever really recall hearing a sailor curse. To any extreme or particularly colorful degree, anyway.

Ahem. cough cough

One of my favorite epithets (look it up) is "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick".

Works in front of kidlets too.

Wolf..... spend some time around tugboaters (especially the captains). You are sure to hear colorful language & mostly inappropriate jokes/ comments.

I yelled out "fucktard!" (in my car) about some old fucktard that was in front of me. My husband bust out laughing - he had never heard that term before.

We had a friend that used to say (when angry) Fucking gypsy dildo!

No idea what it meant, but you always knew when he was upset!

lumberjim wrote:

give ya 3 guesses

Classic! Where'd you find that? Perfect for him :) When's his B-day? we could all send him one...then he could have a wall of cock buckets.... :lol:

If the word cunt is said in the proper context, it's really not offensive in the least... :D

Cunt with feet. I mean that's just funny...

jinx wrote:

Cunt with feet. I mean that's just funny...

Interesting...is that anything like a Walking Taco?

Walking Taco I had that for Breakfast! YUMMY :yum: :yum:

LabRat wrote:

Classic! Where'd you find that? Perfect for him :) When's his B-day? we could all send him one...then he could have a wall of cock buckets.... :lol:

Hmmm.....cock buckets. I think you've invented a new curse. :thumb2:

shut up you fucken cock bucket!

what a bucket of cock ,
Go jump in a bucket of cock you walking taco ,

Ya know what I think it works !!!

zippyt wrote:

what a bucket of cock ,
Go jump in a bucket of cock you walking taco ,

Ya know what I think it works !!!

made me giggle like a woman.



cockbucket! excellent, LabRat, excellent. like cudumpster.

isnt a cock bucket just another name for a cunt? a cock storage unit? oh wait... a cunt doesnt have plastic handles...or does it?...no...it doesnt

mrnoodle wrote:

fucktard.

It's an insult to the name of my God. why wouldn't it be offensive? I have a thin, zigzaggy line, but eventually something crosses it.



Luckily I have billions of cool points left.

offensive, maybe, but not blasphemous unless, again, they see things the same way you do with respect to religion.

and as for the coolness quotient points......i was just trying to say that i think a little bit less of you now. not that you should give a shit what i think, but for someone who puts himself out there as a 'rocker' you're awfully stodgy. there is a hole in your coolness bucket.

dar512 wrote:

High School's over, Jim. It's ok to grow up now. Really.

thanks, Mary. so...you gonna stop trying to act like the Principal now then?

The Lady Keryx just said "FUCKIDEY FUCK FUCK FUCK", becuz the bowl she wanted to use to mix the pancake batter in had stuff in it. And I been a Baaad boi all week. She says I will be punished. :blush: :whip:

lumberjim wrote:

... there is a hole in your coolness bucket.

But is there a hole in his cock bucket?


My brother says "eat a whole bowl of fuck"

In our household, the line from <i>Ghostbusters</i>

mother puss bucket</q>

with feeling and the proper intonation speaks volumes. As an epithet, we are all indebted to Lore Sjöberg, late of Brunching Shuttlecocks and currently of The Slumbering Lungfish Dybbuk Hostel and All-Night Boulangerie for originating

you godless couchfuck

.(Lore fans should be at pains not to miss his World of Warcraft: The Text Adventure recently in Wired News.)
When in search of an exclamation, using your very best pirate voice to utter

Boogger me standin'!

can be quite effective, while when questioining someone's mental faculties

fucktard

and

asshat

serve the need.

turdburglar

is somewhat in a class by itself.

Old man: "A little food, a little beer... now, I wish I had a little pussy."
Old lady: "Me too, mine's the size of a bucket."

Cockbucket. Heh.

MaggieL wrote:

(Lore fans should be at pains not to miss his World of Warcraft: The Text Adventure recently in Wired News.)

The elf snorts and hands you a slimy, rusted, bent dagger with runes on it reading "Discount Shiv Warehouse -- Bring us a lower price, we'll stab it."

:lol2:

While Fuck is one of my favorites and it's very flexible in its usage, I think my favorite curse word is CUNT.

I like it because it seems to be the only one that still has any effect on people. It will make a woman go crazy when she hears it, and even men get upset when they hear it.

Son of a motherless goat fucker is a personal favorite. Especially when being cut off in traffic on I 95

You guys are so inventive, I am surrounded by GREATNESS

I just jammed a screwdriver under my thumbnail, and heard my self say "son of a fucking bitch bastard". I don't know that I've ever said it before.

I just love it, that "mother puss bucket" survives.

lumberjim wrote:

but for someone who puts himself out there as a 'rocker' you're awfully stodgy. there is a hole in your coolness bucket.

Blasphemy don't make me cool. Making your mom cum with my demonic guitar tones of metallic uber riffage does. Potty mouth stopped equaling street cred when my balls dropped.

That said, I have to fight to keep from using "fuckin" as the adjective for every other word that comes out of my mouth. I choose to engage in that fight, no skin off my back if you don't.

Do you still wuv me? :love:

edit: hey, i just remembered -- at the Testament show 2 weeks ago, I lost my pants in the mosh pit. No lie. Dammit, now you've got me all insecure in my rockdom and I'm defensive.

what about insults that sound bad but when you really think about it they arent that bad.

eg, calling someone a son of a mother fucker (you are the offspring of your dad)

calling a guy a cunt licker or a girl a cock sucker.

calling a sexually active gay man a fucking faggot (although faggot is not a nice word it still refers to a gay man so theres no reason to take offence unless youre straight)

lumberjim wrote:

thanks, Mary. so...you gonna stop trying to act like the Principal now then?

I didn't really follow the point you're trying to make here, but I do think it's interesting that you equate authority figures with principals.

But I'm drifting from the point. I think the aspiration to coolness is not only sophomoric but bogus. Coolness is all about attitude and impressing other people. It's an unworthy goal.

Dar, its really very simple, I'm not sure where your confusion is stemming from. LJ was disappointed that Noodle chooses to become angry over something as antiquated and irrelevant as someone taking the lord's name in vain, blasphemy, or whatever. Noodle seems like an interesting and decent enough fellow, but that kind of crap is a real turn off (uncool?) for some people - like LJ apparently. You brought up high school because the word "cool" was used, LJ furthered the analogy with "principal".

dar512 wrote:

Coolness is all about attitude and impressing other people. It's an unworthy goal.

You're speaking of those aspiring to be cool rather than those of us that are.:cool:

my mum says im cool

A faggot is a bundle of wood.

seriously... look it up.

Kagen4o4 wrote:

my mum says im cool

Watch out - she wants something from you.

There's a difference between just cussing and going out of your way to be as blasphemous as possible. Take God out of the equation. If I say to you,

"Fuck off, you lowlife cunt"

that's insulting. But if I say,

"Your dead two-year old sucks your dead father's cock in hell"

I've made it personal. I'm not just cussing, I'm trying to be as horrible as possible. Blasphemy is not just "taking God's name in vain". It's deliberately trying to sully the name and image of something sacred. Goddammit does not equal "Jesus *$% Christ".

I realize that it looks like I'm overreacting -- but is that because I'm so stodgy, or is it because society as a whole has given up on having any kind of decency? I've got my share of bad habits and dirty little secrets -- just because I think deliberate blasphemy is bad doesn't make me some kind of morality cop.

mrnoodle, I soooo hope you've got bad habits and dirty little secrets. I really do.

I'm with ya, though. You don't need to say, "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!" to get the message across. I prefer looking down my nose and telling the asshole that they are boring. People loathe to be boring. It hurts them.

a little sarcasm can go a long way too
"youre so funny!"
"wow shes attractive!"
"your witty!"
"no of course your had doesnt look like a deflated beachball"

Mr.noodle I hear what you're saying about intent versus word choice, and I completely agree. If I feel that someone is trying to piss me off they'll get a much different reaction than someone who happens to use a word or phrase I personally find offensive.
But for you to decide what someones intent is, based only on their choice of words, is wrong. I'm telling you right now that when JFC comes out of my mouth it's certainly not my intent to "sully the name and image of something sacred". Nope, my intent is to swear, to release anger, because I've spilled my tea, lost my keys, or otherwise experienced minor displeasure. JFC being one of many in my personal repertoire. Now if I actually wanted to insult someone, I don't think just saying JFC to them would get it done for me. And if jesus's name or image were sacred to me, I'd be a xtian, and likely would never say JFC in the first place.

What decency has to do with any of this, I'm not sure. If you think that saying "fuck off, you lowlife cunt" is any more decent than saying JFC (keeping intent in mind).... well, again we disagree. The only way that would make any sense to me is if you equate "decent" with "xtian".

jinx wrote:

The only way that would make any sense to me is if you equate "decent" with "xtian".

isn't that what bothers most nonchristians about christians??

mrnoodle wrote:

There's a difference between just cussing and going out of your way to be as blasphemous as possible. Take God out of the equation. If I say to you,

"Fuck off, you lowlife cunt"

that's insulting. But if I say,

"Your dead two-year old sucks your dead father's cock in hell"

I've made it personal. I'm not just cussing, I'm trying to be as horrible as possible. Blasphemy is not just "taking God's name in vain". It's deliberately trying to sully the name and image of something sacred. Goddammit does not equal "Jesus *$% Christ".

I realize that it looks like I'm overreacting -- but is that because I'm so stodgy, or is it because society as a whole has given up on having any kind of decency? I've got my share of bad habits and dirty little secrets -- just because I think deliberate blasphemy is bad doesn't make me some kind of morality cop.

If you said that my two year old sucks my dead father's cock in hell, I would very literally laugh in your face. I'm giggling now just thinking about someone actually saying that. Scratch that, the more I think about it, I'm gaffawing.

Out of all the people I know, I am one of the most 'decent.' I open doors for people, I let people merge, I help whenever and however is reasonable, and go out of my way to be nice to strangers. That said, 'Jesus Fucking Christ' is the first thing that comes out when I get really frustrated. Close second is "Mother fucker" and close third is "Fucker." Other favorites include "Jesus Titty Fucking Christ" when I'm feeling silly, and "Jumping Jesus on a Fucking Pogo Stick," when I'm feeling verbose.

Oh, I have a friend, who has trained her fiancee to just listen patiently when she's had a bad day, then at the end say, "Stupid fuckheads."

"Jesus Titty Fucking Christ"

HAHAHAHAHA
can you imagine jesus titty fucking a chick? HAHAHAAHA (no offence to christians, im sure you can find it funny without going to hell)

I have been known, on occasion, to refer to the sort of woman that folks with fewer social graces might call a cunt as a "brainless receptacle of sperm."

Yes, I know that a good number of the menfolk here just wondered "what's so bad about that?"

One of my other favorites is "sucks moose cock" as in "Working dayshift and not being able to log onto the Cellar in nearly a week really fucking sucks moose cock."

jinx wrote:

The only way that would make any sense to me is if you equate "decent" with "xtian".

The same kind of "I insist you adapt your behavior to my religious values" that gets people killed over cartoons.

2 dollar whore is another good one

MaggieL wrote:

The same kind of "I insist you adapt your behavior to my religious values" that gets people killed over cartoons.

I don't insist anyone adapt their behavior to my values. I do reserve the right to not listen to them if something they say offends me, though.

That's still okay, right?

Kagen4o4 wrote:

HAHAHAHAHA
can you imagine jesus titty fucking a chick? HAHAHAAHA (no offence to christians, im sure you can find it funny without going to hell)

How is that not offensive to christians? Why is it more wrong for me to be offended at that imagery than it is for someone to use it to deliberately offend me? (not that you were doing that, just saying).

Stress Puppy wrote:

If you said that my two year old sucks my dead father's cock in hell, I would very literally laugh in your face. I'm giggling now just thinking about someone actually saying that. Scratch that, the more I think about it, I'm gaffawing.

That one was a little overblown (no pun intended). But the point was, there's a difference between just cussing and trying to offend on a personal level. If your kid smoking your dad's pole brings a twinkle to your eye, that's fine I guess - but the point is the effect I was going for not the one I got.

jinx wrote:

What decency has to do with any of this, I'm not sure. If you think that saying "fuck off, you lowlife cunt" is any more decent than saying JFC (keeping intent in mind).... well, again we disagree. The only way that would make any sense to me is if you equate "decent" with "xtian".

No, the two statements are equally reprehensible. What I object to is the underlying prejudice that says "Anything I say that offends your religion is cool, because everybody knows that "xtians" are full of shit, and they are to be demeaned at every opportunity (including taking the "christ" out of their name -- they really hate that). If they don't like it, too bad. Oh, but if they say something good about God, particularly in front of my kids, they're cramming their religion down my throat -- see you in court."

Gotta meeting, I'll continue digging my hole in a few...:rolleyes:

You're actually looking for reasons to be offended, do you realize that noodle?
[INDENT]

X·mas ([COLOR=red][FONT=verdana,sans-serif] P [/FONT][/COLOR]) Pronunciation Key (krsms, ksms)
n. <dl><dd>Christmas.</dd></dl>
<hr align="left" width="25%">[From<tt> X</tt>, the Greek letter chi, first letter of Greek<tt> Khrstos</tt>, Christ. See Christ.][INDENT]Usage Note: Xmas has been used for hundreds of years in religious writing, where the X represents a Greek chi, the first letter of, “Christ.” In this use it is parallel to other forms like Xtian, “Christian.” But people unaware of the Greek origin of this X often mistakenly interpret Xmas as an informal shortening pronounced. Many therefore frown upon the term Xmas because it seems to them a commercial convenience that omits Christ from Christmas.[/INDENT]

[/INDENT]People are killing and dying everyday becuase of percieved offenses to their religions. I don't think you're making a lot of points with GOD arguing on a message board. Grow some balls man, strap a bomb on.

You're continuing to make my point by making this a flamewar -- why can't I defend my religion without being compared to nutcases who kill in the name of God? What you're saying is "You can have your little religion, but you have to remain silent about it, or at least make it palatable to everyone who is nonreligious; otherwise, you're a jihadist." Sorry, that's not how it works.

And people don't say "xtian" to show off their knowledge of Greek...at least be honest. Visit any "I'm an atheist, I'm special" site, and you will see it's used derogatorily in most cases.

"fucking xtians"
"why are you being derogatory?"
"HAHAHAHAHA X is Greek for Chi, got you!!!11"

meh.

I don't use the "X" word ... to shorten either Christian or Christmas. I believe that the use IS derogatory. I spend a lot more time hanging out on pagan/earth religions sites and boards. It's extremely rare to find commentary that is not in some way vilifying Christianity.

jinx wrote:

People are killing and dying everyday becuase of percieved offenses to their religions. I don't think you're making a lot of points with GOD arguing on a message board. Grow some balls man, strap a bomb on.

That is going way too far, in a throwing gasoline on a blazing fire kind of way. Whether your statement is hyperbolic commentary or not, MrNoodle is not a religious fanatic. He is not a suicide bomber, he isn't even trying to sell you WWJD wristbands or make you believe what he believes.

He is trying to live HIS life according to a set of principles that makes sense to him, which also allow him to make sense of the world around him.

There is nothing but respect in that, for himself, and for others.

Why do you have to try to turn it into a fight, or suggest that he is in some way emasculated by belief, rather than emboldened by it?

Got you? Uh, no, I used an abbreviation (like I used JFC several times instead of spelling it out). Its my understanding that "xtian" and "xtianity" have been in fairly common use since the 1500's - but if you've seen them used on athiest sites, they're obviously just used to be offensive. Yeah. :rolleyes:

Ok, whatever. I was trying to explain my perspective on this to you, but I'm not getting anywhere. Enjoy your righteous anger my friend, I think I'll go try to teach a pig to sing now...

Chick: I am SO freakin' turned on by your description: Dude: I totally forget what you meant but I soooo relate. Look: Jinx et Wolf: I indeed wish to fuck mrnoodle. This is not based on any logic but soley upon pictures.

No fighting. I'm coming to forks in Aug., I only hope you've a great casserole!

1. If you weren't doing that thing with the xtian thing, that's cool. I was just arguing, not accusing or whatever.

2. I'm not angry

3. I'm just wondering why religious people aren't allowed to protect and defend things that are central to their faith without being attacked.

4. Fucktard is still my favorite cuss word.

edit: 5. Thanks and xoxoxo's to wolf for getting it, and brianna for being naughty and smoking whatever she's smoking.

mrnoodle wrote:

1. If you weren't doing that thing with the xtian thing, that's cool. I was just arguing, not accusing or whatever.

2. I'm not angry

3. I'm just wondering why religious people aren't allowed to protect and defend things that are central to their faith without being attacked.

4. Fucktard is still my favorite cuss word.

edit: 5. Thanks and xoxoxo's to wolf for getting it, and brianna for being naughty and smoking whatever she's smoking.

1. OK, cool
2. Good, life is too short
3. Because if you plan to defend things central to your faith by limiting how I should express myself when I spill my tea - I'll get pissy.
4. Cock

Brianna wrote:

No fighting. I'm coming to forks in Aug., I only hope you've a great casserole!

If you come to forks in August, you will miss it.

It's in June.

I am awaiting confirmation on the date, but by the algorithm, it should be June 24/25.

I am ungodly embarressed. Really.

Damn.

I suppose I could make a really great dish and gain favor again?

ps--look, motherfuckers, who is GOING to PUT my ass up? (re: accomodate me via villa?)
MaggieL? (no) Richlevy? (no) JINX? (oh, goddess, please! I want to steal her sox!) or, wolf (If the goddess so wishes and gives me mucho magic shit) coz wolf is skeptical. Of, me.

oh hell yeah. the only way i'll make forks is if i get this new gig. no chance if im still at cherry hill goobah. i dont think jinx will go alone, but if brianna came, they could go together. how scary would that be?

one thing. if i DO go, i'm going to turn it on it's ear. there will be music. there will be drums. there will be actual drunken lascivious behavior. i'll bring friends. trust me.

If you guys build a stage and provide power I will rent a PA and pay my bandmates to play the show.

dude. i've got a hammer and some nails. and lots of power tools. we could burn the stage in the bonfire afterwards. I could get Phinneus Phogg to play there too. i might have to take vacation that week.

what's the deal with noise, wolf?

So here's the thing, when I say something like Jesus Fucking Christ.. I'm not saying it with the slightest intention of attacking someone's religious beliefs. I'm saying it, because I'm more frustrated than "Fuck" will vent properly. It's the syllables, really. 5 syllables in a staccato kind of rythm. When I'm a little frustrated, the single syllable of Fuck works fine. When I'm a bit more frustrated, motherfucker has the proper syllables. The more frustrated I am, the longer the curse. I like the rythm of the words Jesus Fucking Christ. I like the beat, instead of something that may flow more smoothly. Smooth doesn't really get my frustration across, but something choppy does. Get it?

Also, I still laugh every time I think about the hell comment.

Hey noodle, next time someone says "Jesus Fucking Christ" in front of you, just be cool, and then a few minutes later fake a stubbed toe and shout out "Prophet Fucking Mohammed!"



Okay, well I'd laugh...

Yoo Mutha Fucka is first thing I always say, when the thrice-weekly cab nearly runs me over.

poo faced stupid head.
eat shit you cock sucking mother fucker. shut the fuck up before i put your balls in a vice and light your dick on fire, while making you watch as i wrip your mothers asshole apart with a old, splintery 2x4. if you ever put the word fucking between jesus and christ again it will be the last thing you say that isnt muddled by your own blood and the semen of a big hairy fat russian guy named Slobberdown Mycokubitch.

im just kidding im not catholic or christian. since this is a topic about insults i thought it would be the appropriate place to vent.

ahhhh thats better.

so whats this forks thing? something yankie?

Ah, Kagen and Q. Tarantino--separated at birth!

Stress Puppy wrote:

So here's the thing, when I say something like Jesus Fucking Christ.. I'm not saying it with the slightest intention of attacking someone's religious beliefs. I'm saying it, because I'm more frustrated than "Fuck" will vent properly. It's the syllables, really.

I dunno. I think there's more to it than that. (Not speaking about you personally but people in general) Why don't people say "Fucking Buddha stick" or "Holy fucking Zeus"? If a person is agnostic or whatever, then I'd think those combinations make as much sense as JFC. It's more than just getting enough syllables or we'd all be using "dagnabbit" or some such.

I believe in free speech. But I also think it's impolite to use language or phrases that you know or suspect will offend those around you. It's just common courtesy. The whole modern attitude of "Take me as I am. I'm going to act how I act and talk the way I want and if you don't like it shove off" I see as self-indulgent. Self-restraint seems to be passe.

Because "Fucking Buddha Stick" doesn't flow off the tongue, and Zeus will strike you down for that kind of shit. And not right away either. Unexpectedly. And you'll only recognize the connection in retrospect. The Old Gods are subtle.

Actually, I do say dagnabit a lot. But it isn't part of this thread, since this thread is about favorite cusses.

Actually, Dagnabit would probably gain more attention than goddamnit, from those hearing it, these days.:lol:

mrnoodle wrote:

...
3. I'm just wondering why religious people aren't allowed to protect and defend things that are central to their faith without being attacked...

Would you try to stop me from saying JFC, if I want to?

Spexxvet wrote:

Would you try to stop me from saying JFC, if I want to?

No. I didn't think I ever suggested anything of the sort. I just don't like it -- it strikes me as deliberately antagonistic towards Christians. I don't say things that attack other people's religion, and I appreciate when someone shows me the same courtesy.

Come to think of it, I don't really ever deliberately insult anyone. I cuss occasionally, but I don't direct it at someone's religion, because that's something I take personally.

It's funny. If someone says "talking on a cell phone in a restaurant is rude" they get pretty much universal agreement. But if they say "that's blasphemous, therefore rude," they get sermonized (har har) about taking away everyone's free speech. Before you take all religious people to task for being overly sensitive, observe your own reactions...

[python]Help, I'm being repressed[/python].

mrnoodle wrote:

No. I didn't think I ever suggested anything of the sort. I just don't like it -- it strikes me as deliberately antagonistic towards Christians. I don't say things that attack other people's religion, and I appreciate when someone shows me the same courtesy.

Thank you. My intention was to show you courtesy by only using the initials.

mrnoodle wrote:

It's funny. If someone says "talking on a cell phone in a restaurant is rude" they get pretty much universal agreement. But if they say "that's blasphemous, therefore rude," they get sermonized (har har) about taking away everyone's free speech. Before you take all religious people to task for being overly sensitive, observe your own reactions...

I think that's about shared values. Feeling that using a cell phone in a restaurant is a value that you share with others. Blaspheming is something you don't share. It probably doesn't help that religious words bother you, but fucking cunt doesn't. I have a friend who has that perspective, and he confuses me - he curses up a blue streak and then when I say G-damn, he says "yo man, there's no call for that".

That's not confusing, really. If you have a friend who doesn't smoke, do you persist in lighting up in front of them if they ask you not to? What if they get drunk? I mean, that's bad for you too -- why should a little smoke bother them? Maybe you don't believe the same medical garbage they do about cigarettes...do they really have a right to suddenly get all religious about the issue? Why do they persist in pushing their values down your throat?

Unwieldy parallelism, but you get the idea.

lets just agree that "cunt" is a funny insult and "JFC" can be reserved for those that are not religous

agreed?

I need more clarity

If "JC" is not rudely blasphemous

and "JFC" IS rudely blasphemous...

What about "Jumping JC on a pogo stick"?

What about "J Freakin' C"?

mrnoodle wrote:

That's not confusing, really. If you have a friend who doesn't smoke, do you persist in lighting up in front of them if they ask you not to? What if they get drunk? I mean, that's bad for you too -- why should a little smoke bother them? Maybe you don't believe the same medical garbage they do about cigarettes...do they really have a right to suddenly get all religious about the issue? Why do they persist in pushing their values down your throat?

Unwieldy parallelism, but you get the idea.

I don't think it's quite so cut and dried as that. More like a hard liquor drinker who is offended at my drinking wine.

Undertoad wrote:

I need more clarity

If "JC" is not rudely blasphemous

and "JFC" IS rudely blasphemous...

What about "Jumping JC on a pogo stick"?

Not rude

Undertoad wrote:

What about "J Freakin' C"?

Rude

IMHO :o

splitting hairs = [strike]rude[/strike] silly

variations on J(something)C are different levels of rudeness. don't worry your pretty little heads about it, just please refrain from doing it in my presence if it's not too much trouble. If not, I can't "make" you quit, I'll just take it as a sign that you don't care about offending me, and make my social plans accordingly.

Why does this really need to be spelled out?

Poking christians with sticks is still good sport after all these years.... ah well.

noodle, did you read 'Lamb?'

If you're going to be offended by stuff I might blurt out randomly, thoughtlessly, then I sort of want to know exactly where the line is, so I don't mess up and cross it without ill intent.

so is JFC at lvl orange rudeness, where as J fiddlesticks C closer to lvl green rudeness?
you should make a chart. that way, if you insult us noodle, we'll know with just how much rudeness we can retaliate with

like, if you call someone an idiot, they can say J poopoo C
and if you call them a asslicking goat fucker, they can whip out the big guns and say J fucking cunt C.

How's about not going out of your way to find new and amusing methods of antagonizing him?

but they were amusing right?

wolf wrote:

How's about not going out of your way to find new and amusing methods of antagonizing him?

Why .......does he deserve special treatment? going out of our way to antagonize is an expression of affection down here. i mean, if he's going to all that trouble to get offended, the least we can do is to try and meet him half way. Cheese and Fucking Rice.

lumberjim wrote:

Cheese and Fucking Rice.

Brilliant! At the next available opportunity, I'm using that one!

JFC, fuck, an cunt don't bother me. The word "the" offends me, though. Please be considerate and don't use the "t" word. :rolleyes: :cool: :p

Spexxvet wrote:

JFC, fuck, an cunt don't bother me. The word "the" offends me, though. Please be considerate and don't use the "t" word. :rolleyes: :cool: :p

You must love tw's posts.

I was thinking about this thread earlier, and it occurred to me: Why don't we blaspheme other gods? I have a theory (deeply rooted in my sad, misguided xtian fantasy), but I want to hear yours first.

Mo-fucking-hammed, you've got a Buddhadamn point!

See? That seemed forced. Too much effort, too little payoff. It's just not funny if it doesn't seem like "real" blasphemy. It's certainly not something that you would say if you hit your knee on the table.

So it's a catch-22? If we blaspheme with an inapropriate deity (non-Christian), it doesn't sound right, but if we blaspheme with a Christian deity, it offends. And if we say fucking cunt, there's this whole other group that will be offended. Cussing is getting to be no fun at all. :sniff: Poopy!

It seemed forced but it didn't seem blasphemous. But it WAS;

...it just didn't affect enough of our current company to seem like a CUSS.

If there is not likelihood of people getting offended, something can't be an effective curse word/phrase.

Because back when the phrases were invented, they were intended to be blasphemous, and the inventors were Christian, so blaspheming other gods would miss the point.

Now it's just a thing you say, with no religious import unless someone calls attention to it. Like "bloody" or "zounds".

I have no doubt that many people aren't consciously trying to be blasphemous when they use God's name like that. I don't think of the act of copulation when I say "fuck". But there's still a reason why we use the words we do. If nothing else, there's a subconscious knowledge that some words are "worse" than others -- "piss up a rope" doesn't have the same bite as "fuck off and die". We can't say "gosh darn it" without feeling let down a little. It's got to be "goddammit" to carry the proper amount of cuss-osity.

My theory is that we have an inbred knowledge of God that we have to consciously rid ourselves of in childhood. When life doesn't go well and the invisible man upstairs doesn't prevent it, or some asshole does something bad to us and we associate them with religion, we throw the baby out with the bathwater. But there are a few remnants that never go away: 1. the knowledge that there are things that are innately "good" and "bad"; not murder and rape-level bad, but..well..like cussing. 2. Doing "bad" things feels good, often. Christians call it a sinful nature that rebels against God, non-Christians call it freespiritedness or something.

So, maybe goddammit is a more effective blasphemy, and universally regarded as a "bad word" because it invokes the name of someone that everyone but the most hardened atheist still "believes in" on some level. Even if they don't admit it.

mrnoodle wrote:

My theory is that we have an inbred knowledge of God that we have to consciously rid ourselves of in childhood.

i couldn't disagree with this more. I posit, in fact that the direct opposite is true.

It's pure history. "Fuck" is considered the be-all-and-end-all of "bad words", even though it has fuck all to do with religion. All "bad words" are pure accidents of history, and change over time. I already mentioned "bloody" and "zounds", both of which were once blasphemous. "Zounds" now sounds goofy and quaint. I can't speak for how "bloody" is taken in England these days, but I get the feeling its "bad word"iness is fading. The term "sucks" to describe disapproval is now mainstream, even though my mother still considers it a "bad word".

There's no telling what "bad words" will be in the future. I vote for "smeghead" and "gimboid" myself.

It's more like a historical founding than innate IMO. Crossing the line with religion was more taboo than anything else, when religion was taken as moot and not a competing explanation for origins. It remained so at the point when technology allowed us to widely record and share commonly-used language and continued to influence the language for years and years.

"Gosh" was a swear word at one point because it recalled the word God. Same for "Judas Priest" and "Jimminy Cricket" and many others, all semi-blashphemous curse words.

I think that we addressed why folks don't blaspheme against the Old Gods, here or in some other vaugely religiously tinged thread ... The Christian God patiently tots things up like an accountant or waiter, and you are provided with your reckoning at the end of your earthly life.

The Old Gods demand immediate payoff.

I just haven't yet figured out exactly what the 2005 Eagles did.

easy .Donovan was on the cover of madden

This opens up a whole new horizon.

******NSFW******

GNI!


the www.wherethebloodyhellareyou.com advertising got band from some countries, not because of the word bloody but because of the word "hell"

I am trying to learn some new software to manage our mouse colony for the lab. I have been keeping track of what explitives seem to most frequently come out of my mouth:

Gaah-dammit (said with slight hold on the first syllable, second 2 stuccato) takes first place by a long shot, followed by Fuckin' A. Emphasis on the first syllable.

Good thing the boss is gone for 2 weeks.

--haven't used 'cockbucket' yet, seems to be more of an adjective than noun to me.

Whore master

fuckin' whore master
pissin' whore master
son of a whore master
whore master's bitch

it works in just about any situation.
I was raised in a devout Christian home and the strongest terms used by my parents were:
Mom - 'pshaw' - (which I still have no idea what it means...)
Dad - bloody hell - which made Mom cringe

luckily or unluckily for me I was the youngest and only girl-child out of 6 children. My brothers taught me to swear :rolleyes:

i prefer.... Fucktard! i use it mostly when driving. :)

@ captain howdys post.


Holy Crap!

What are those people thinking.

You can show off, make people want to puke,make people laugh without taking ones clothes off. Like overkill. * swoons* Some people should not be taking off their clothes.

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="Green"]

Grace Cock soup comes from Jamaica. There is also a Cow Cod soup, but Grace doesn't make it.

We have a number of interesting obscenities. Bumba (comes from Bumba Cloth,
pronounced Bumbaclaat, which is the cloth used to wrap dead bodies)
There is Blood Cloth and Pussy Cloth, (Bludclaat, Puzyclaat) which are self-explanatory, as is rasclaat, (ass cloth).

For particularly aggravating moments; "Bumba Pussy Rassssssss Claaaaaat"

The word 'fuck' is not really locally used, save as 'fuckery', as in, 'this regulation is pure fuckery'.

If you use these words at the airport, you will be fined $200 per word. If you
use them on the street, the penalty is a lot less.

Having been effected by Americanisms, I tend to use 'monkey fucker', and
'dog shit' liberally, but usually content myself with a simple 'asshole' and have found the word cunt, remarkably offensive, in the sound of it, in how it is
hurled, and have been able to adjust to 'cunta' which sounds like Kunta Kinte,
so that I once asked about the 'kuntas' over there, and was responded to in a very polite manner.

Oh well
even the best obscenities are often misinterpreted.

[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

Stank tramp ho

howdy kaylar :)

kaylar wrote:

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="Green"]

rasclaat, (ass cloth)
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

Terry Bradshaw's Butt, that's a good one. Consider it stolen.

I'll say "F" a lot instead of Fuck.

F him right in the ear.

I reserve swearing, real swearing, for my road rage days. I fucking HATE it when people act like morons on the road. I used to just scream CLOWWWWWWWWN!!!!!!!! out the window until I thought that the level of abuse was inconsistant with the level of fuckheadedness of some drivers.

The most random insult I could come up with was 'sharkfucker'. Sounds insane, but its GREAT screamed out of car windows. You can get a good 'shaaaaaark' going and by the time the victim has puzzled out the 'fuckkkkkker' bit you're off.

Of course, it isnt appropriate all the time cos I have some littler kids - but my little swedish mate translated it for me as 'hajknullare' (pronounced 'hake - noolar') which works just as well. Added bonus is that NOONE knows what the fuck you are saying.

The C word is a bit banned due to the age of kiddies in our house. My ma won't even say 'the c word' - she says 'c u next tuesday' instead...

One day I will meet some Swahilian so I can use my only memorised Swahili cuss phrase...Unatomba mbuzi (you goat-fucker!) (thanks, insultmonger.com!)

moondoggy

F him right in the ear.

This is funny because the whole cuss is lots worse than just saying "fuck". Like if you said "fuck him right in the ear" it's the "fuck" part which is supposed to be "bad". :lol:

I like to say Son-of-a-Jesus!!!

oh great...here we go again.