Phrase no-one will ever say to me

"Dude, I'm sorry but I used up all your liquor."

Just reflecting, because I read this story on the web this week where somebody is house-sitting and the guy uses up all the other guy's liquor. Which is OK because the other guy is rich, but my point, and I do have one, is that nobody would ever say that to me.

First, they'd have to be house-sitting and my wife and I will probably never have someone house-sit. We have about 5 friends anyway, all of them are good enough people to theoretically house-sit. I just can't imagine it.

In the story, the house-sitter throws a party and the party-goers drink all the liquor in the house. We have a lot of stuff in our house, because the three times we have had a party, we've bought all the liquor we think we might need, and each time, the group that arrived saw fit not to drink it all. This has led to a lot of half-full bottles.

In the story, the house-sitter is in a pretty urban location like New York, where people will have and drink *liquor*. Liquor is urban, and we live in the suburbs. Suburbanites drink beer.

But the really, really ironic and sad thing is, I would LOVE it if someone would say to me, "Dude, I'm sorry but I used up all your liquor."

MY Greek friend has a dog - he licked up all his oozo - is that close enough? (unfortunately the dog cannot speak, so never was able to say the phrase - but he did return the oozo exactly to the spot where he had originally found it - although not quite in the same condition...)

No-one will ever say to me, "Go on, have another helping - you look like you're wasting away!"

I'll never hear - "Sorry, you're too short to get on this ride."

I will never hear anyone say, "Just sign this six album contract right here, Mr. Chambers."

Elspode;448119 wrote:

I will never hear anyone say, "Just sign this six album contract right here, Mr. Chambers."

neither will I.

"The computers are all screwed up, and the network's down. Just relax, we'll take care of everything."

"Hey, why don't you tell us some of your jokes?"

monster;448121 wrote:

neither will I.

This begs so many questions...

Are you a musician/singer?
Is your name Chambers?
I thought you were a woman?

:D

Elspode;448124 wrote:

Is your name Chambers?
I thought you were a woman?

Marilyn?!?!?!?

"just step out of the plane and count to 50 before pulling the cord; it's fun--you'll see!"

"...and do you, Sundae Girl, take this man..."

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your folding money has come unstowed. You've had hundred dollar bills flying out of your purse for 3 blocks."

"I thought YOU took out the guard!"

Sundae Girl;448185 wrote:

"...and do you, Sundae Girl, take this man..."

I used to think that (substitute Limey for SG) ... I got married last year at the grand old age of 46. For the first (last and only) time. (patiencsssssssssse my dear ...)