Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

And telling him to take his hands off it.

OMG yes.

"But I'm not pointing it at you, so it's okay."
"No, it's never okay in front of other people. You have to be by yourself, no one else in the room."
"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."
"No!"

[classicman]

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."

Kinda defeats the purpose, no?
lol @ minifob.

[Sundae]

There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

[limey]

What about Ali's next one, then !

[Sundae]

She'll be okay.

[B-Tay]

Originally Posted by Sundae

There is a theory that the more testosterone a woman's womb is subjected to, the more it reacts against it. Hence younger sons being obliged to go into the Church.

Uh-huh.
Max is gay.
He'll be doodle obsessed for life.

I believe there was something on '60 Minutes' about this. They do not know why, but statistically the more boys a woman has, the newest boy has a much larger tendency to be gay than the previous - something I like to mention to my Dad who was the third boy born to Grandma.

[ZenGum]

"I will close my eyes, then no one else will be here."

Damn postmodernists.

[footfootfoot]

I will close my eyes and think of England.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by Rhianne

It never stops you know.

Yesterday I gave my daughter, a nineteen year-old, a list of stuff I wanted her to do for me. "You should be nicer to me," she said, "remember that it's me who'll choose the home you get put into."

Nice.

When momwolf would get cranky I would just look at her and say, "Mother, need I remind you that I know every single bad nursing home in the county?" For humorous effect, I would often say this in front of people, usually nurses who were trying to do something that she was refusing.

(calling momwolf "mother" was my equivalent for her using my first, middle, and last name at the beginning of a comment)

[classicman]

Originally Posted by wolf

(calling momwolf "mother" was my equivalent for her using my first, middle, and last name at the beginning of a comment)

[footfootfoot]

This morning I sat down at the breakfast table and discovered that there was honey all over the chair as my newly washed jeans stuck in place when I tried to shift position.

I got up and said in a semi loud voice, “I am not happy.” Of course, I immediately thought of the joke about the guy who rear-ends a midget and I told it to the wife and kids while they were eating breakfast.

Me: My (imaginary) friend, Jim Helm, was driving his car to work and he rear-ended a guy. They guy stops his car, gets out and Jim sees that the guy is a dwarf. The guy marches up to Jim’s car, looking furious. Enraged, he shouts “I AM NOT HAPPY.” Jim looks at him and asks, “OK, then which one are you?”

Wife: (Mostly to the children as she knows I am a lost cause) We shouldn’t mock the afflicted. It isn’t easy to be a dwarf.

Me: (Thinking) Oh I don’t know, I bet it comes naturally to them…

I can see the wheels turning in son’s head, but still no light coming on.

Wife: In the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves the dwarves all have names, one of them is named Happy, at least in the Disney version.

Me: They had names like, Happy, Goofy, Sneezey, Sleepy, Grumpy…

Daughter: (helpfully) Maybe then the one your friend hit was Grumpy.

[infinite monkey]

Ha! Your kids have your sense of humor. BRAVO!

[footfootfoot]

It's true, though the daughter is still young enough that she thought it really happened and that the dwarf must have been Grumpy.

[infinite monkey]

Ahhh, but that's a clever mind at work. My youngest niece is (of course) getting older but her responses, while innocent enough, were indicative of the great sense of humor that was to come. She might not have known exactly why it was the perfect response, but the perfect response it was!

[B-Tay]

I thought it was interesting to hear my son, when he was about 3, refer to a black/African American person in his preschool as having a "chocolate face".

It makes sense, since "black" is literally incorrect, since nobody is that color, and for some reason he did not associate "brown", he used chocolate. At first I thought "Is that offensive"? and then thought "this is actually quite a pleasant term. Everyone loves chocolate".

He also referred to C3PO as "that belly-button guy" back then.