Surprise

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

You know, I see the issue with gender identification being just an extension of what we all deal with all the time.

I might call myself a woman, but that's about where the similarity with pretty much any other woman on this planet ends. There are so many other ways that I identify myself, and it really depends on who I'm with and what I'm doing as to what that identity might be. For example, I identify myself as a mother, but if I'm at work, then I might be a salesperson or any other numerous tags that go with that role. At other times I might identify myself as a wife, but within that role, there are a multitude of other labels I could give myself too.

I think we all struggle with out identity at some time in our lives. It's all just a matter of trying to figure out where we feel comfortable in the world and labels are like the guardrails. They help in some ways, but in other ways they can stop you or others from seeing the truth, which of course is that you're just you (as others have said before), and you're an individual just like every single other person here.

Nicely put, Ali.

[footfootfoot]

For Erica/Ibby by one of my favorite poets:


THE HALF-AND-HALF MAN
—Russell Edson

A man had two feet. One was a woman, the other a man.

Appropriately one wore a woman's high-heeled shoe, the other a rough work boot.

And this was true of his hands and his nostrils and eyes. And this was true of his testicles, one of which was an ovary...

[Spexxvet]

Ib, be who and what you want to be. Don't pay attention to what other people think. Be happy.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Ib, be who and what you want to be. Don't pay attention to what other people think. Be happy.

but what if other people think he should be who and what he wants to be and not pay attention to what other people think?

That could cause BSOD

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

but what if other people think he should be who and what he wants to be and not pay attention to what other people think?

That could cause BSOD

Then he should be what other people want him to be, and not pay attention to what he, himself, wants. And that's final!

[Undertoad]

In the long run, other people don't give a shit.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

In the long run, other people don't give a shit.

I think that's a little naive. Some do.

[footfootfoot]

That is so fucking true.

[Clodfobble]

Other people, sure--but family can continue to give a shit long after you wish they'd stopped.

[Sundae]

Amen.
Or give you a hard time about how much they have had to adjust, and how hard it has been for them.
Then turn round ten years later and ask why are still conflicted over the decisions you took, because they're totally chilled with them already.

Thanks. I needed that reassurance at the time, when I was scared and alone.
Not now when it turns out the world didn't shatter after all.

[Ibby]

I'm gonna start cross-posting some of my angsty dysphoric tumblr blog posts here just to avoid cluttering up other threads with my genderbitching.

Im posting two now just cause im too lazy to edit them together or anything into a more coherent unified post.

Suddenly super super dysphoric that my girl-jeans are as tight as I can wear at the thighs and way too loose at the hips. I need hips. I’ll never have hips.

Too broke to buy decent razors, too oafish to shave with the cheap shit without flaying myself. I have only one leg shaved cause I cut it so many times it was too agonizing to try the other, and my face isn't just nicked and pinpricked, I’ve taken off whole chunks of it at this point.


Sure don't feel pretty with my face all carved up.

[morethanpretty]

Ouch!

I buy men's razors like Gillette or Schick even for shaving my legs. Even if its the same type as the female version, they just seem to be sharper and do a better job. Then again I go weeks without shaving, and kinda don't see it as necessary for femininity. My family disagrees with me though.

[monster]

Why so broke? Define decent. Almost anything but Dollar store, Ladies and Sensitive should do the trick. Beyond that, it's not the razors. slow down. It's not like shaving your face is a new trick, surely?

[Ibby]

Bic "sensitive" one-blade safety razors. If i shave fast i end up with five or six tiny nicks, even with good razors. if i shave slow i remove slices, with these. It's not a new trick, no, but it was only slightly unsightly, not wildly dysphoric and embarrassing and outing, before I came out.

[Aliantha]

About the jeans issue, why do you particularly need to wear women's jeans? Just get jeans that fit right. It's the accessories that will help identify you. Jeans are jeans. You might as well wear ones that fit right for your body shape.

Do you know that girls who don't have hips usually buy mens jeans anyway?