Praying to everything that is holy

[freshnesschronic]

I know about college drinking. I know what 40 proof means, I know what concentrations mean, I know how to properly mix drinks, I know the order in which to drink alcohol (beer before liquor, never been sicker), I know alcohol can make you totally out of control, I know what it does to drunk girls and I definitely know what it does to drunk guys.

But my girlfriend, doesn't know. This is her first party with alcohol. Her first time to socially drink. Tonight she is going to a open keg party with a lot of alcohol, hard liquor included and I told her I was really worried. She told me "gosh if you trust me you'll let me do what I want" and I said I did trust her but I don't trust the other people there. I got info on this "open birthday party" and it has over 50+ people there from different high schools all throughout the Chicago area. That is a lot of fuckers I don't know or trust.

After I told her all this and how worried I was she made me 1000x more worried. I said "you don't even know how to read the liquor bottles!" And she said "I don't really care."

And then she hung up on me. My girlfriend is so stubborn, ignorant to social drinking that she doesn't know what she's getting herself into. She will get fucked up with just two shots, I guarantee it. I wanted to guide her, to show her how to read the liquor, to know how to mix, to know your limit. I've been in college one year and know about partying and drinking. Yet she still wants to do this without me. And if she touches any hard alcohol I can see bad stuff happening right away. She is such a lightweight and she is so stubborn. And she said she didn't care about anything I told her.

God, I am so fucking worried. I don't know what to do cause I can't be there to do anything.

[lumberjim]

she's going to get loaded and fuck 7 guys in a row on the ping pong table. I know...cuz i'm gong to that party....and we have it all arranged.

you're an asshole. if i was your girlfriend, i'd dump your smothery ass. tool

[Aliantha]

If you think she's stupid I guess you should be worried. If you think she's even half way intelligent, then don't be such a control freak. She's got a right to do what she wants and it's not up to you to tell her how to do it. You're not her father, you're her b/f. You just get to look after her the next day when she's hungover.

[Bullitt]

Sounds like she's one of those people that just wants to learn from experience, doesn't want to be told what to and not to do.
Next time, buy a bunch of crap for her to try out with just the two of you and see what she likes, how much she can handle. Controlled situation.

[duck_duck]

I never understood the whole idea of drinking parties where people get so drunk they don't know what they are doing but I hope your girlfriend doesn't have anything bad happen to her.

[freshnesschronic]

Thanks.

[breakingnews]

what is it that you're really worried about? some dude dropping a roofie in her drink and desanctifying your turf? i hope - for her sake, your sake and the rest of mankind - that she is smarter than that, and that her friends are decent enough to take care of each other. for what it's worth, in the ten years i've been drinking and attending "open keg parties," i've never seen such behavior.

or is it that you're worried that she'll take her first tequila shot (and consequently her second, third, fourth and fifth), realize how liberating it is to be free of your smothering clutch and quickly find her way to the backseat of the local cross-country star's 4runner? unless you're one of those lame college couples who spends 24-7 together, you're gonna have a lot of problems when she gets to Ill. next year.

she will be fine. let her grow up. you need to grow up too and stop worrying about this kind of crap. don't waste the four best years of your life trying to force everything around you to be a perfect fantasy, because that's not how reality works, and places like college destroy those who think that way.

[freshnesschronic]

Man.....well I my cousin was raped and my good friend was almost raped...maybe I just think the worst scenarios since obviously it's those ones that I can identify with.

I don't want it happening to my girl at all.

[breakingnews]

duly noted. can only hope that humans are more decent than that.

anyway, i'm sure she'll be fine. her parents are probably giving her enough flak as it is.

[Sundae]

Damn, just lost a long reply I'd typed - bloody Macs. Obviously you can't use ctrl X to cut and paste...

A precis:
What you said wasn't necessarily wrong, but the way you said it obviously was. How do I know when I didn't hear you? Because of the way your girlfriend reacted. It doesn't matter how rational you sound in your own head - if you hangs up on you it's not effective communication.

You need to work on this - in case another situtaion comes up where you just want to give her information she can use for her own protection.

She will probably be okay. I got horribly drunk at 17 thanks to a drinking game that involved mental arithmatic (my bete noire). My competitive spirit kept me in the game, but once I started losing I had no chance. I had to swig from a pint glass full of mixed spirits and I had no experience of drinking them - I was allowed wine at home but that was it. The friend I am now going to live with in London was the one who pulled me out of the game - and then promptly deposited me with a guy I had had a crush on for years. He was one of the good guys (as my friend knew and I was too drunk to question) and walked me round the block, brought me water, talked me through it. Weirdly, it was a bonding experience and we were close for years afterwards.

It could have ended very differently, and I do understand your worry. But errors of judgement (in who can be trusted, by drunk people I mean ) can't really be planned for. All you can do is hope she doesn't end up in a situation where a predator overcomes her better judgement, and that her friends are watching out for her.

Good luck to you both, and I hope you are worrying unnecessarily.

[disenchanted]

awesome.

The guy is worried, for good or ill, and the majority of responses tell him what a control freak he is.

Nothing quite compares to that special joy that comes from somebody saying "Hey, here's what I'm thinking" and being able to drive them into the ground. Go, internet, go.

My faith in humanity is confirmed.

[Clodfobble]

He has had control and trust issues with this girlfriend in previous threads, the responses are not all based on this thread alone.

[Stormieweather]

First, someone who has never drunk before will probably not care for it much and likely will not go overboard. The first time my stepdaughter drank (in high school) she hated it.

A year or two later, she liked it a bit more and had too much one night. Luckily she had a friend there who extracted her from the party and drove her home (with a bucket in her lap for the upchucking). So I highly advise that she have a friend or two close by so they can watch out for each other.

One thing you may want to consider next time is rather than trying to control her or imply that she is ignorant about drinking, is to just offer her a ride out if she has too much or feels uncomfortable in any way.

Stormie

[zippyt]

Yeppers a good wingman ( or girl ) is essential !!!

[freshnesschronic]

I think a lot of you are missing a huge point.

I am in college. She is in high school. We are three hours away.
Yes, I admit I have control issues but I just wanted to be with her the first time she socially drinks. I never socially drank until college and it was a whole new scene for me. I wanted to be there to help her if she got messed up, because: a. she never socially has drank before b. she weighs under 100 pounds.
Is that not enough reason to care for her first time drinking?

My cousin influences. She was raped. Bent over the toilet bowl upchucking her guts and her "friend" who brought her there that motherfucker he is took advantage. It was the upstairs bathroom and no one there to witness.
The court let him go. It was one of those "not enough evidence" and "the girl was too drunk" to put that motherfucker away. I would slit his throat if I had the chance, no doubt. Guess what. THAT party was my cousin's first time socially drinking, she is an honor student and her background is of a nice, clean cut kid. Now fuck all of you people saying "welll....." there is no way she consented. That goddamn piece of shit low life of the world "friend" raped her. I would murder him in a heartbeat. Maybe you all haven't had family members raped or sexually assaulted. My thinking is different from yours.