attachment issues - Page 7

extemporaneous · 10-22-2006, 10:28 AM

yea, im really in philadelphia and i have already been through all that. i have an appointment in late november. which doesnt help any so im probably not going to go. i already tried to get welfare to give me medical insurance so i can go to a shrink...but they denied me. 5 times. im thinking about shooting a bag of dope and asking for a don program. maybe then i'll be seen by somebody. philly is horrible. the only way to get anything from this city is if you are on drugs. and welfare case workers told me that. i smoke weed, and they dont care about weed. i applied at ten gigazillion different places to work...but it's not happening. i have to go put my second treatment of bleach in my hair.

KinkyVixen · 10-23-2006, 05:20 PM

I kinda read through this thread, reading bits here and there, and only because I'm kind of dealing with the same thing. The smoking pot issue at least, which has forced me to deal with a lot of other things that all kind of hit at once. I smoked all day long (whenever I wasn't at work) for a couple of years, and I'm just now starting to come out from under that cloud. What I have found, (and believe me, I feel the same way you do about the smoking aspect) that as much as I was smoking was leading me to feel depressed, and as much as I felt in control of myself I was in all honesty out of control (i.e. doing things outside of my character because I felt like I didn't care anymore). I don't blame anything I've done on the fact that I smoked, I blamed the fact that I smoked on my life. But I was the one making those life decisions so it just became a viscious cycle. Nothing that I'm saying will matter to you I'm sure...all I'm really trying to say is that I know where you're coming from, and how you feel, for the most part...and since I am going to counseling and NA meetings I could possibly have some helpful advice or insight if you'd like it. Let me know.

extemporaneous · 10-24-2006, 04:39 PM

well i went job hunting down south street (a place with a lot of stores on one street) yesterday. my old boss lives near, so i was going to stop by and ask him about some work and as i was thinking that i look up and there he was. so thursday i start working again. im watching the new king kong now and im about to smoke a bowl. so i will talk to you later. and i talked to an old boyfriend today online. i met him when i was in a boarding school in 8th grade, linden hall. he went to phelps. but anyway, he lives in michigan now and he's a pro wrestler. for some reason i find that funny. but anyway, i hit yous up later on toodles

extemporaneous · 10-24-2006, 04:39 PM

well i went job hunting down south street (a place with a lot of stores on one street) yesterday. my old boss lives near, so i was going to stop by and ask him about some work and as i was thinking that i look up and there he was. so thursday i start working again. im watching the new king kong now and im about to smoke a bowl. so i will talk to you later. and i talked to an old boyfriend today online. i met him when i was in a boarding school in 8th grade, linden hall. he went to phelps. but anyway, he lives in michigan now and he's a pro wrestler. for some reason i find that funny. but anyway, i hit yous up later on toodles

9th Engineer · 10-25-2006, 07:26 PM

It's great that you found some work again, why do you have to smoke a bowl now? You have a good turn of luck going so don't do anything that might change that. I've had more people than I care to list preach to me about how weed isn't addicting, if not then why in the world are you still doing it now? You know a high is not only just a temporary escape, just like you know how you'll feel after you come down. The only way to feel better is to fight whatever you want to run away from. If you've been feeling like crap over not finding a job till now then prove to everyone what you can do by working hard and being agressive in pursuing advancement. If you think that people are looking down their noses at you over issues with your kid then clean up, hold your head high and look them in the eye next time you go in with paperwork. If nothing else then prove to yourself that you can deal with your problems instead of hiding from them, and I mean PROVE it, no one can really ever fool themselves. Pain is truly the greatest motivator, and failure is the greatest teacher.

Madman · 10-30-2006, 02:24 PM

extemporaneous, How's it going? I hope all is well for you. Keep setting goals - no matter how small you may think they are. Set them and go for them.

You got some people here hoping for the best for you!

xoxoxoBruce · 11-03-2006, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9th Engineer

I've had more people than I care to list preach to me about how weed isn't addicting, if not then why in the world are you still doing it now? You know a high is not only just a temporary escape, just like you know how you'll feel after you come down.

For the same reason you masturbate knowing it won't last.

Quote:

snip~ Pain is truly the greatest motivator, and failure is the greatest teacher.

Success is the greatest teacher because you learned how to succeed. Failure just teaches you another way to fail.

extemporaneous · 12-12-2006, 06:06 AM

well hey guys sorry i fell off. today is my 21 and im up early so i can go out xmas shopping. here's what happened in the past however long:
i moved out of dudley's only for him to beg me to come back (he cant sleep in his bed w/o me blah blah blah) so i visited and then visited some more and then he asked me to move back in with him. so i did. now i have all kinds of things going on. with my son...regardless on who agrees with this or not...he's being adopted by his grandmother. she lives in florida and welcomed me to move there too. so fuck drugs man i havent gotten high in a LONG time. i got a therapist and im slowly changing my life, only because it takes time to make things happen. i am trying to get certified in wordperfect with the help of welfare (dont worry im not taking your money just their job training) and that way i can get a better job than burgerking. i found out my cancer spread, so i have to deal with a bunch of bullshit i really dont even like to think about. that's it in a nutshell. have a great 12/12

yesman065 · 12-13-2006, 07:26 AM

I hope you had a happy birthday - as best can be - Good luck to you & keep us posted.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-13-2006, 05:44 PM

Glad you found some direction, keep plugging away.

10-22-2006, 10:28 AM	#91
extemporaneous i like watching the puddles gather rain Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: killadelphia, pa Posts: 38	hey yea, im really in philadelphia and i have already been through all that. i have an appointment in late november. which doesnt help any so im probably not going to go. i already tried to get welfare to give me medical insurance so i can go to a shrink...but they denied me. 5 times. im thinking about shooting a bag of dope and asking for a don program. maybe then i'll be seen by somebody. philly is horrible. the only way to get anything from this city is if you are on drugs. and welfare case workers told me that. i smoke weed, and they dont care about weed. i applied at ten gigazillion different places to work...but it's not happening. i have to go put my second treatment of bleach in my hair. __________________ we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

10-23-2006, 05:20 PM	#92
KinkyVixen Marching In! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 580	I kinda read through this thread, reading bits here and there, and only because I'm kind of dealing with the same thing. The smoking pot issue at least, which has forced me to deal with a lot of other things that all kind of hit at once. I smoked all day long (whenever I wasn't at work) for a couple of years, and I'm just now starting to come out from under that cloud. What I have found, (and believe me, I feel the same way you do about the smoking aspect) that as much as I was smoking was leading me to feel depressed, and as much as I felt in control of myself I was in all honesty out of control (i.e. doing things outside of my character because I felt like I didn't care anymore). I don't blame anything I've done on the fact that I smoked, I blamed the fact that I smoked on my life. But I was the one making those life decisions so it just became a viscious cycle. Nothing that I'm saying will matter to you I'm sure...all I'm really trying to say is that I know where you're coming from, and how you feel, for the most part...and since I am going to counseling and NA meetings I could possibly have some helpful advice or insight if you'd like it. Let me know. __________________ "Smile before bed.You'll sleep better."

10-24-2006, 04:39 PM	#93
extemporaneous i like watching the puddles gather rain Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: killadelphia, pa Posts: 38	work, finally well i went job hunting down south street (a place with a lot of stores on one street) yesterday. my old boss lives near, so i was going to stop by and ask him about some work and as i was thinking that i look up and there he was. so thursday i start working again. im watching the new king kong now and im about to smoke a bowl. so i will talk to you later. and i talked to an old boyfriend today online. i met him when i was in a boarding school in 8th grade, linden hall. he went to phelps. but anyway, he lives in michigan now and he's a pro wrestler. for some reason i find that funny. but anyway, i hit yous up later on toodles __________________ we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

10-24-2006, 04:39 PM	#94
extemporaneous i like watching the puddles gather rain Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: killadelphia, pa Posts: 38	work, finally well i went job hunting down south street (a place with a lot of stores on one street) yesterday. my old boss lives near, so i was going to stop by and ask him about some work and as i was thinking that i look up and there he was. so thursday i start working again. im watching the new king kong now and im about to smoke a bowl. so i will talk to you later. and i talked to an old boyfriend today online. i met him when i was in a boarding school in 8th grade, linden hall. he went to phelps. but anyway, he lives in michigan now and he's a pro wrestler. for some reason i find that funny. but anyway, i hit yous up later on toodles __________________ we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

10-25-2006, 07:26 PM	#95
9th Engineer Bioengineer and aspiring lawer Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 872	It's great that you found some work again, why do you have to smoke a bowl now? You have a good turn of luck going so don't do anything that might change that. I've had more people than I care to list preach to me about how weed isn't addicting, if not then why in the world are you still doing it now? You know a high is not only just a temporary escape, just like you know how you'll feel after you come down. The only way to feel better is to fight whatever you want to run away from. If you've been feeling like crap over not finding a job till now then prove to everyone what you can do by working hard and being agressive in pursuing advancement. If you think that people are looking down their noses at you over issues with your kid then clean up, hold your head high and look them in the eye next time you go in with paperwork. If nothing else then prove to yourself that you can deal with your problems instead of hiding from them, and I mean PROVE it, no one can really ever fool themselves. Pain is truly the greatest motivator, and failure is the greatest teacher. __________________ The most valuable renewable resource is stupidity.

10-30-2006, 02:24 PM	#96
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	extemporaneous, How's it going? I hope all is well for you. Keep setting goals - no matter how small you may think they are. Set them and go for them. You got some people here hoping for the best for you!

12-12-2006, 06:06 AM	#98
extemporaneous i like watching the puddles gather rain Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: killadelphia, pa Posts: 38	birthday well hey guys sorry i fell off. today is my 21 and im up early so i can go out xmas shopping. here's what happened in the past however long: i moved out of dudley's only for him to beg me to come back (he cant sleep in his bed w/o me blah blah blah) so i visited and then visited some more and then he asked me to move back in with him. so i did. now i have all kinds of things going on. with my son...regardless on who agrees with this or not...he's being adopted by his grandmother. she lives in florida and welcomed me to move there too. so fuck drugs man i havent gotten high in a LONG time. i got a therapist and im slowly changing my life, only because it takes time to make things happen. i am trying to get certified in wordperfect with the help of welfare (dont worry im not taking your money just their job training) and that way i can get a better job than burgerking. i found out my cancer spread, so i have to deal with a bunch of bullshit i really dont even like to think about. that's it in a nutshell. have a great 12/12 __________________ we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion.

12-13-2006, 07:26 AM	#99
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I hope you had a happy birthday - as best can be - Good luck to you & keep us posted.

12-13-2006, 05:44 PM	#100
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Glad you found some direction, keep plugging away. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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