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09-26-2006, 02:51 PM
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#76 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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Chuck Norris doesn't surf very often, because tsunamis are relatively rare.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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09-26-2006, 05:44 PM
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#77 |
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i like watching the puddles gather rain
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: killadelphia, pa
Posts: 38
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chuck norris doesnt pee standing up.
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we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion. |
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09-26-2006, 05:49 PM
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#78 |
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i like watching the puddles gather rain
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: killadelphia, pa
Posts: 38
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im convinced.
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we are eternal. all this pain is an illusion. |
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09-27-2006, 09:57 AM
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#79 |
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bent
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: under the weather
Posts: 2,656
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if he did, he would bore a hole to china.
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Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh |
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09-27-2006, 11:00 AM
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#80 |
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dar512 is now Pete Zicato
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago suburb
Posts: 4,968
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Chuck Norris does not eat nails for breakfast, because then he shits railroad spikes later in the day. This doesn't bother him but the noise when this occurs disturbs the neighbors.
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"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller |
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09-27-2006, 11:05 AM
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#81 |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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Chuck Norris is the father of every Chinese person
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 "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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09-27-2006, 11:08 AM
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#82 |
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Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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Whenever he has a health problem, Chuck Norris performs his own surgery on himself.
Recently, he performed brain surgery on himself, but in the middle of it, he realized that he'd cut out the section that knew how to complete the operation. No problem, he simply re-wired other sections of his brain to take over for the missing sections, and thus he completed the procedure. |
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09-27-2006, 11:26 AM
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#83 |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Chuck Norris kicks the shit out of people who end any sentence in anything other than "OF THE BEAST."
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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09-27-2006, 03:02 PM
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#84 |
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Flocci Non Facio
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In The Line Of Fire
Posts: 571
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Chuck Norris had sex with a car shredder.
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. |
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09-27-2006, 03:21 PM
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#85 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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...and the shredding teeth on the machine had to be replaced immediately thereafter.
Their offspring was a Monster Truck.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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09-27-2006, 04:57 PM
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#86 |
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UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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...and Chuck Norris did not have to pay child support. Getting to have his Baby Monster Truck is a privilege.
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09-27-2006, 08:39 PM
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#87 | |
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Master of the Domain
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 220
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Quote:
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09-28-2006, 03:51 AM
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#88 |
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Flocci Non Facio
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: In The Line Of Fire
Posts: 571
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Chuck Norris is the only known male giving birth to a child. It was called "Steven Siegall".
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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. |
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09-28-2006, 09:56 AM
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#89 |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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Chuck Norris wears a clown costume and doesn't scare kids.
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"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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10-23-2006, 02:46 PM
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#90 | |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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I heard that if Chuck looked into a mirror, this is what would happened...
Quote:
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"I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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Linear Mode
