I'm getting depressed

[Trilby]

I need some help. Some good vibes and cheering words from my pals in the cellar.

Though there really is no need for it - I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed out and it's not the holidays (I don't think it is anyway)

I am exhausted all of the time no matter how much sleep I get - I wake up around five every morning and I'm useless by about one o'clock. I can go to bed at seven or eight and still am tired.

I am sort of taking care of my parents as they do not have an entire working memory between the two of them. Mom's memory is about on par with a goldfish. Dad's is slightly better.

This effing house needs so much work - I can't even list all the shite it needs. And NOW I have to somehow summon the strength to clean out the basement from the rainwater lake that was down there yesterday. My strong, healthy (albeit compulsive) 20 year old son is NO FUCKING HELP WHATSOEVER. He creates messes for me to clean up. I know, i know - my therapist tells me: I am responsible for my OWN feelings. ok. I feel MAD at the lack of help I get from him. He's USELESS.

Yesterday, while I was driving mom home from the doctor he calls on the cell to inform me that the basement is flooded and he's gone to his dad's house to finish his laundry (as my basement is flooded and he can't use my washer and dryer now). so. Thanks for that.

It's just ME. No help ever.

I love my house, I really do, but this every-six-months a new disaster is getting really, really OLD.

big sigh.

Thanks for listening.


a very sad and exhausted Bri.

[DanaC]

Oh sweetie. That's horrid. *hugs* Good vibes coming your way. And Pilau sends a wave of doggy breath to cheer you up.

[Aliantha]

Can you get away from all of it for a mini break for a few days and just chill out? Do you know anywhere cheap you could stay and just pull the blinds and ignore the world for a few days?

Things do get pretty overwhelming, and I don't have a lot of great advice other than to have a chat with your doc and see what he/she thinks?

It's pretty reasonable to feeling like that under the circumstances though. I'm not sure how I'd be coping if I were in your shoes. Probably a lot worse if I'm honest with myself.

You should be proud that you're not a blithering mess already mate. xx

[limey]

Oh Bri! I haven't any suggestions that will work a magic fix - but if you are getting depressed then get the meds for that sooner rather than later. That will help you to find the energy to deal with things better.
Is there any way you can get extra help for your parents, since they clearly need it? I don't think you should carry on trying to cope with putting the world right for both the generation above and the one below you. I think that should be your priority to get that responsibility off your shoulders, or at least shared around more.
I do know how draining it is to be carer, even off-site, for a parent with memory problems.
Big hugs to you, dear, from across the water.

[Griff]

It is a crappo time of year to get down. Chin up girl we'll get through.

[DanaC]

Wise words Griff.

I had one of those wtf moments last night, at around 3am, when i realised I'd spent the best part of an hour wondering whether I or my brother will die first, and which would be worst, leaving or being left. Figured I hope I go first so I don't have to cope with the loss. Then felt guilty for wishing said loss experience onto my bro.

Wtf? This is not a useful or restful train of thought.

[monster]

Ouch ouch ouch. It may not seem like to have time in the day or the energy, but it's worth making time to take up some form of exercise. Something regular that gets you out of the house would be ideal. I find this helps with sleep quality, energy and general gloom. Get those endorphins running around. Swim, boxercise, zumba, whatever.

You are way more important than your house, so do take time to fix yourself.

Is there anyone you can ask to have a talk with your son? And like Limey says, you clearly need help with your parents.

I wish i was closer and could come and help.

Would it do any harm/would you be able to tell your son that you are passing the responsibility of shopping for your parents and/or chauffering your parents on to him in a way that makes it clear it's final. Sometimes useless people surprise us by stepping up when we give them no choice.

[infinite monkey]

All I can say is I think you're amazing.

Most of the wise words have already been said.

I don't know if either of these sites offer what you need, but you do need some help/support with your parents.

You can't do it all sweetie. Take care of YOU first and foremost.

http://aging.ohio.gov/resources/areaagenciesonaging/

http://www.seniorresourceconnection.com/

[glatt]

Brianna,
I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but I wanted you to know that I'm sending good vibes your way.

Maybe you can change the locks when your son is doing the laundry at his dad's place?

[Undertoad]

Your brain playing tricks on you again?

We get to live in an amazing time!!!

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Your brain playing tricks on you again?

We get to live in an amazing time!!!

It might be my brain - I thought it was LIFE playing tricks.


Yes, it is indeed an amazing time we live in and when I'm in better shape mentally I can ususally deal with the vagaries fairly well and philosophically.

You know, "Well, my basements flooded but thank god I HAVE a basement to flood! Some people live in the middle of the lake!" and all that.

but-- lately, I'm weary, weary, weary. It helps just to come here and rag and bitch about it.

I've got it good; I need my perspective re-arranged is all.

I think "Why can't I just have this fixed properly or buy a new one? Why can't I be wealthy enough for that?" but - we're never as wealthy or as poor as we imagine. Hey - I've got hot and cold running water in my house!! Some poor soul doesn't even have that.

[jimhelm]

I like you

[classicman]

It may not seem like to have time in the day or the energy, but it's worth making time to take up some form of exercise. Something regular that gets you out of the house would be ideal. I find this helps with sleep quality, energy and general gloom. Get those endorphins running around.

^^wss^^

You are a good person, remember that.
Makes lists and do what you can as you can.
Sometimes just getting some things accomplished makes us feel better.

[Nirvana]

[Clodfobble]

Ah Bri, it's a rough time of year and an even rougher time of your life from the sound of it. Eldercare is very, very hard and takes a lot more out of you than a lot of people realize.

Hey, two birds with one stone: take everything you're moving out of the basement to clean it out, and put it in the middle of the living room so the Useless Son can't sleep there anymore.

But seriously, I'd come hug you if I could. Warmer weather is coming soon.