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Old 03-01-2015, 01:45 PM   #1
Lamplighter
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Products You Knew Never Should Exist

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter View Post
...Today, the sun is up and about, it's going to be a warm, cloud-less,
and slightly breezy day, the damn grass still needs mowing,
and again I'm feeling incredibly lazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Kill it... kill it with fire. Then Salt the earth.
The GOOD:
My mower started on the first pull.
The grass has now been mowed.

The BAD:
Now I swear I do NOT have a penis obsession,
but this is the "Gas-Can-On-Viagra".

Name:  GasCan_NOT.jpg
Views: 386
Size:  28.2 KB

It was the only model available at our local hardware store ($17.98).

There are so many things WRONG with this "new" spout...
1) the red tip-closure is almost impossible to unscrew
2) the "pressure-relief" action is difficult and awkward
3) the spout has to be held to allow the gas to flow
4) the spout does not bend to allow the can to be positioned
5) the closure at tip sprays gas in a fan, rather than flowing smoothly
6) when the spout is stored inside the can, gas will leak out the fitting.

For me, it seemed that every movement or action I tried ended up
with more gas spreading on the spout, the can, the ground, and my hands.

I may accidentally leave it in the yard when I follow xoB's suggestion.
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Old 03-01-2015, 02:29 PM   #2
Gravdigr
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About a year ago Popdigr got one of those new-fangled 'better' gas cans.

Piece. Of. Shit.

It went away.




ETA: $18. Yee. Ikes.
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Old 03-01-2015, 04:44 PM   #3
xoxoxoBruce
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New and improved means they've come up with a design which will fail sooner or will frustrate you into vengeful acts destroying the can. Either way, the chance to sell you a replacement sooner, bolsters the bottom line.
But, you say, I wouldn't buy from them again.
How would you know, by then they have a new and improved design, new packaging, maybe even a new business name. Besides, you wouldn't remember the name of the last company unless you have a vengeful hate deep in your heart.
If so, may god have mercy on your soul.
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Old 03-01-2015, 05:28 PM   #4
glatt
 
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It's new federal regulations, guys. They all suck now.
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Old 03-08-2015, 05:20 PM   #5
classicman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter View Post
The BAD:
"Gas-Can"

It was the only model available at our local hardware store ($17.98).

There are so many things WRONG with this "new" spout...
1) the red tip-closure is almost impossible to unscrew
2) the "pressure-relief" action is difficult and awkward
3) the spout has to be held to allow the gas to flow
4) the spout does not bend to allow the can to be positioned
5) the closure at tip sprays gas in a fan, rather than flowing smoothly
6) when the spout is stored inside the can, gas will leak out the fitting.

For me, it seemed that every movement or action I tried ended up
with more gas spreading on the spout, the can, the ground, and my hands.
I too own one of these.

Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt View Post
It's new federal regulations, guys. They all suck now.
It is time to get creative with the required regulations and turn that stupid ass thing int a damn 2.5 gallon plastic container with a spout. Start with a large pair of pliers and rip that crap off the top. Take the spring and see how far you can fling it...
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Old 03-10-2015, 02:52 PM   #6
Gravdigr
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Ladies and gentlemen of Teh Cellar, behold:

The Recto-Flute

Name:  buttflute.jpg
Views: 178
Size:  36.0 KB

Better names?

Toot Flute
Poot Flute
Gas Blaster
Pupuzela
Butt Bugle
Corn Horn

Quote:
This music stinks.
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Old 03-10-2015, 09:28 PM   #7
BigV
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:15 PM   #8
Happy Monkey
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Hello Barbie

A doll that records your conversations, transmits them to Mattel, who analyze them and send back something for the doll to say.
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:27 PM   #9
DanaC
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Yeah. Nothing creepy or sinister about that at all.
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Old 03-11-2015, 06:56 PM   #10
Clodfobble
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I'm stating on the record right here and now, that's a budding April Fool's joke. No fucking way is that real.
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Old 03-11-2015, 09:13 PM   #11
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Mattel’s technology partner ToyTalk NSA processes the audio with voice-recognition software.
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Old 03-12-2015, 04:30 AM   #12
Sundae
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Grav, I now have serious issues with you. AGAIN.
I read your toot-flute post in a public place.
In a library FFS.

I honestly, literally, had to put my hand across my mouth to stop laughing.

Please to warn poor people who access internet in public.
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Old 03-12-2015, 04:47 AM   #13
Carruthers
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Trump it.
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Old 03-12-2015, 03:27 PM   #14
Gravdigr
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Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,125
Trump it - Hah!
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Old 03-12-2015, 03:28 PM   #15
Gravdigr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
Grav, I now have serious issues with you. AGAIN.
I read your toot-flute post in a public place.
In a library FFS.

I honestly, literally, had to put my hand across my mouth to stop laughing.

Please to warn poor people who access internet in public.
I'm sorries.
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