Separate Beds?

[Juniper]

Remember the 1950's sitcoms - I Love Lucy, etc. - where married couples had separate twin beds? I doubt that happened in reality, but after I had to share a bed (that is, once the novelty wore off) I was kind of envious.

Granted there is something sweet about cuddling up with the one you love, reaching over in the middle of the night to feel a warm body comfortingly close to yours.

But it's not so sweet when that warm body snores or flails around, kicks, etc. or does other things in the middle of the night to wake you up when you'd be willing to pay money for a good night's sleep.

News article on this topic:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/perso...ef=mpstoryview

Part of the problem is that we only have a full size bed, not a nice, luxurious queen or king. We get king size beds in hotel rooms and there's so much room, we're reaching across and saying "Hellooooo over there!" But our bedrooms have always been small, and it's just what we're used to. Oh well.

But I don't think bed size is the real issue. I'm like a kid that has to share a bedroom with a sibling -- I want my own room! I want to be able to watch TV, surf the Internet, read, etc. in bed without someone grumbling about it and making me put it all away because it's HIS bedtime. I don't want to apologize every night, multiple times, because I snore. I snore LOUD. Sorry. Sometimes I even wake myself up snoring.

I love my hubby and I ain't about to give up certain other recreational activities, but my own bedroom would be sweeeeet!

Anybody else ever feel this way? Done anything about it?

I don't have my own room but I do have my own office, which is just like my own bedroom except it doesn't have a bed. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

[Ibby]

LYSANDER
Fair love, you faint with wandering in the wood;
And to speak troth, I have forgot our way:
We'll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good,
And tarry for the comfort of the day.

HERMIA
Be it so, Lysander: find you out a bed;
For I upon this bank will rest my head.

LYSANDER
One turf shall serve as pillow for us both;
One heart, one bed, two bosoms and one troth.

HERMIA
Nay, good Lysander; for my sake, my dear,
Lie further off yet, do not lie so near.

LYSANDER
O, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence!
Love takes the meaning in love's conference.
I mean, that my heart unto yours is knit
So that but one heart we can make of it;
Two bosoms interchained with an oath;
So then two bosoms and a single troth.
Then by your side no bed-room me deny;
For lying so, Hermia, I do not lie.

HERMIA
Lysander riddles very prettily:
Now much beshrew my manners and my pride,
If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied.
But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy
Lie further off; in human modesty,
Such separation as may well be said
Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid,
So far be distant; and, good night, sweet friend:
Thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end!

LYSANDER
Amen, amen, to that fair prayer, say I;
And then end life when I end loyalty!
Here is my bed: sleep give thee all his rest!

HERMIA
With half that wish the wisher's eyes be press'd!

[Juniper]

Hermia and Lysander didn't have alarm clocks that went off at 6:30 a.m.

[morethanpretty]

I sleep on the couch, the ex gets the bed. He owns it.

[DucksNuts]

With my ex hubbie, one of us used to sleep in the spare room consistently. Our body clocks were totally different and neither of us used to be very heavy/good sleepers. The best way around it was separate beds...awesome. We both had queen size beds to ourselves.

My parents are in separate rooms/beds now....Mum couldnt put up with Dad's snoring and tossing/turning.

Best thing they ever did she reckons.

[Sundae]

My Mum often sleeps in the spare room now, because of Dad's snoring.
When I come to stay she has to go and sleep on the sofabed, which makes me feel guilty.

I don't think they'd ever go the whole hog and have separate bedrooms though, when Dad was in hospital Mum admitted she found it hard to sleep in the bed alone!

[DanaC]

I have to say when I went from living with a partner to living alone, one of the most wonderful things about it was not having to share bed/bedroom, and not having to just lie there awake and quiet when unable to sleep. No air of disapproval if I am typing away at 4 am, no problem if I want to run a bath at 3. Can't sleep? Put on light, turn on radio and have smoke and a read...

One of the things I hated, when i had my brief fling with D, was the bed-sharing aspect. I didn't mid being over at his place (at first) and waking up there in the morning...didn't much like him being at mine though. That's my territory (MINE!) and frankly I don't want to share it, except with a dog.

Most of all I hated the actual physical sharing of the bed. I am profoundly restless in bed lol, I am never still. It comes with having eczema, or just the fact I am quite a restless person physically. I am up and down all night like a yoyo, what with 1am snacks, 2 am baths, radio news at 5am and sudden 4 am need to check diary to make sure I am not supposed to be anywhere in the morning...

I'm a nightmare for someone else to live with. Trying to contain all that makes it a nightmare for me:P


[eta] personally I think twin beds seem an eminently sensible solution to the problem of trying to cram two adult bodies into a fairly small space for sleeping. Especially if one of the adults concerned is a big bloke with a tendency to drift slowly across the mattress gradually pushing you over to the very edge...

[BrianR]

Dana: my wife has that same problem. That and the Amazing Expandable Dogs!

[Cloud]

one reason why I'm happily single with no further aspirations for partnerhood.

I like to sleep with my knees sticking out at an angle. Makes cuddling difficult.

And Juniper: I can assure you, the 50s separate bed thing DID happen in reality. I remember that my parents had separate twin beds for a while there in the late 50s and early 60s. It was obviously a "sign of the times" thing, because in the next house we moved to--a king sized bed.

[Elspode]

We don't have separate beds, but Selene does alternate sleeping places between Kaleigh and I, so when I'm not at Tree Fae's place, I have the king sized waterbed to myself about half the time. Took me awhile to get used to sleeping alone, but I've got it down now.

[zippyt]

well be that as it may every body that haz seperate beds , I will put up with all the snoren , Bed stealen and cover stealen , I have problems sleeping alone any more

[Clodfobble]

Huh. I can understand separate rooms easier than I can understand separate beds in the same room. That's just an odd image to me.

[Pooka]

I think Flint and I would take up as much room in a twin as we do in our Queen... we are both snugglers... sometimes we have little visitors... and there is still room... lots of snuggles all around

[bluecuracao]

I remember one set of grandparents having separate twin beds in one room since forever, but turns out it was due to lack of space. While they were moving into their new house, my grandmother took me on a tour, and proudly showed off where her room would be, with her closet, and lovely view of the orchard. I don't think she was repulsed by my grandfather or anything like that; she just wanted to be independent and have her own space.

[kerosene]

Separate beds? No way! My husband and I are snugglers...we gotta be close to each other when we sleep. Neither of us will consider jobs where we have to travel, for that very reason.

My parents always shared a bed...a king size bed...but they never slept in separate ones. But my dad has always traveled for work. My grandparents always had separate rooms...since I have known them, anyway.