Weird News - Page 26

classicman · 03-14-2009, 12:01 AM

save me a seat - will ya bud?

BrianR · 03-14-2009, 04:01 AM

Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter

By MATTHEW STABLEY

A southern Maryland woman was hospitalized after her partner attached a sex toy to a power tool.

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.

just... ouch!

Trilby · 03-14-2009, 05:50 AM

Hmmm...attaching a sex toy to a saber saw blade - brilliant!

sugarpop · 03-14-2009, 07:02 AM

(Have any of you seen the new Cohen Bros movie Burn After Reading? George Clooney builds a giant sex toy...err, sex chair...

It's hysterical.)

Just goes to show those jackass people (who I like to call Darwin's next victim) really shouldn't play with power tools. Like, that is seriously messed up. Probably got ideas from one of those websites where people make giant dildo machines.

classicman · 03-14-2009, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Hmmm...attaching a sex toy to a saber saw blade - brilliant!

Well they are from Maryland.

Undertoad · 03-14-2009, 04:51 PM

fuckingmachines.com NSFW

Crimson Ghost · 03-14-2009, 05:40 PM

Using a saber saw as a sex toy?

That'll void the warranty.

Pie · 03-14-2009, 07:29 PM

The girlfriend came with a warranty??

Pie · 03-14-2009, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Well they are from Maryland.

Hey!

classicman · 03-14-2009, 10:19 PM

lol

Crimson Ghost · 03-14-2009, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pie

The girlfriend came with a warranty??

They never do, Pie, they never do.

TheMercenary · 03-17-2009, 05:18 AM

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when
two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she
tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - and shot off
their testicles.
The old lady spent a week hunting those men down, and,
when she found them, she took revenge on them in her
own special way, said Melbourne police investigator
Evan Delp.
Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the
gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as
could be: 'Those
bastards will never rape anybody
again, by God.'
Cops say convicted r apist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost
both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened
fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and
former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were
holed up.
The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom
come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis,
police said. 'The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood,
'but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way
he used to,'
Detective Delp told reporters. 'Both men are still in pretty bad
shape, 'but I think they're just happy to be alive after what
they've been through.'
The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her
granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad
daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town
bordering on skid row.
'When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the
hospital, 'I decided I was going to go out and get those
bastards myself ''cause I figured the Law would go easy
on them,' recalled the retired library worker..
'And I wasn't scared of the m, either - because I've got
me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. 'And I wasn' t
dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about
owning one.'
So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's
description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days
prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took
place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their
flophouse hotel.
'I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture
of 'em anyway 'and took it back to Debbie and she said sure
as hell, it was them,' the oldster recalled..

'So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked
on the door, 'and the minute the big one opened the door, I
shot 'em right square between the legs,'right where it would
really hurt 'em most, you know.
'Then I went in and shot the other one 'as he backed up pleading
to me to spare him.'Then I went down to the police station and
turned myself in.'
Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to
deal with the vigilante granny. 'What she did was wrong,
and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an
81-year-old woman in prison,' Det. Delp said, 'especially
when 3 million
people in the city want to nominate her
for Mayor.'

dar512 · 03-17-2009, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to
deal with the vigilante granny. 'What she did was wrong,
and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an
81-year-old woman in prison,' Det. Delp said, 'especially
when 3 million
people in the city want to nominate her
for Mayor.'

I'd vote for her. Talk about taking direct action.

Plus I like the fact that she checked her work and didn't go off half-cocked.

Flint · 03-17-2009, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

half-cocked

. . . :::snicker:::

dar512 · 03-17-2009, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

. . . :::snicker:::

Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

03-14-2009, 12:01 AM	#376
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	save me a seat - will ya bud? __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-14-2009, 04:01 AM	#377
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter By MATTHEW STABLEY A southern Maryland woman was hospitalized after her partner attached a sex toy to a power tool. LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget. Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported. The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office. The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries. Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said. just... ouch! __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

03-14-2009, 05:50 AM	#378
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Hmmm...attaching a sex toy to a saber saw blade - brilliant! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-14-2009, 05:40 PM	#382
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Using a saber saw as a sex toy? That'll void the warranty. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

03-14-2009, 07:29 PM	#383
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	The girlfriend came with a warranty?? __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-14-2009, 07:02 AM	#379
sugarpop Professor Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: the edge of the abyss Posts: 1,947	(Have any of you seen the new Cohen Bros movie Burn After Reading? George Clooney builds a giant sex toy...err, sex chair... It's hysterical.) Just goes to show those jackass people (who I like to call Darwin's next victim) really shouldn't play with power tools. Like, that is seriously messed up. Probably got ideas from one of those websites where people make giant dildo machines.

03-14-2009, 04:51 PM	#381
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	fuckingmachines.com NSFW

03-14-2009, 10:19 PM	#385
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	lol __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-17-2009, 05:18 AM	#387
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down - and shot off their testicles. The old lady spent a week hunting those men down, and, when she found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and told him as calm as could be: 'Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted r apist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up. The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. 'The one guy, Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, 'but the doctor I talked to said he won't be using it the way he used to,' Detective Delp told reporters. 'Both men are still in pretty bad shape, 'but I think they're just happy to be alive after what they've been through.' The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a section of town bordering on skid row. 'When I saw the look on my Debbie's face that night in the hospital, 'I decided I was going to go out and get those bastards myself ''cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,' recalled the retired library worker.. 'And I wasn't scared of the m, either - because I've got me a gun and I've been shootin' all my life. 'And I wasn' t dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one.' So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description of the sickos, tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the ill-fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel. 'I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway 'and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them,' the oldster recalled.. 'So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door, 'and the minute the big one opened the door, I shot 'em right square between the legs,'right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know. 'Then I went in and shot the other one 'as he backed up pleading to me to spare him.'Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.' Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the vigilante granny. 'What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison,' Det. Delp said, 'especially when 3 million people in the city want to nominate her for Mayor.' __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

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