Dear Flint

DanaC · 05-10-2011, 10:46 AM

Dear Flint,

I am sorry I upset you. It was never my intention to buttfuck you in the mouth. I realise now that it was the wrong thing to do. Buttfucking in the mouth is never the right answer to problems. It's been a tough lesson to learn, but I think my buttfucking in the mouth days are numbered.

Kindest regards

DanaC

ps: I am not sorry about your finger.

infinite monkey · 05-10-2011, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

but I think my buttfucking in the mouth days are numbered.

I grabbed a number and have been patiently waiting in line all this time. Will you honor this number? What is this, the DMV?

ps My number is 327.

Flint · 05-10-2011, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Buttfucking in the mouth is never the right answer to problems.

literal lol ... tagline worthy

DanaC · 05-10-2011, 10:48 AM

*smiles*

Somewhere in there is a genuine apology. I'll back off now.

footfootfoot · 05-10-2011, 11:09 AM

DanaC: I'm writing to Flint, see what you think, OK? "Dear Flint..."
Monster: Yeah?
DanaC: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far.
Monster: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.
Infinite Monkey: I don't like the "dear". Sounds a bit too much like "will you go to bed with me?"
DanaC: Nicely spotted, Infinite Monkey. What do you think instead?
Infinite Monkey: What about "darling"?
DanaC: "Darling Flint..."
Lookout123: Oh, no, no, no, no! Not "Flint". It's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "fascist bully boy".
DanaC: "Darling fascist bully boy..."
Monster: That's nice, yeah, so far so good, so what do you want to say?
DanaC: Well, basically I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
Monster: Well, what about, "give me some more money"?
Infinite Monkey: "You bastard"
DanaC: Don't you think that's a bit strong?
Monster: No, DanaC, people like that respect strength.
DanaC: Yeah, you're right. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, DanaC."
Infinite Monkey: Not "love, DanaC"! That sounds far too much like "come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine".
DanaC: Yeah, you're right. Uh... What about "yours sincerely"?
Lookout123: Oh, come off it, DanaC! If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
DanaC: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not put "boomshanka"?
Monster: Ahh... that's hard to tell, DanaC. What does it mean?
DanaC: It means "may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman".
Lookout123: Ah-ha! And WHAT makes you think your Flint's a man?
DanaC: His beard.
Monster: He'll never understand "boomshanka". You'll have to write the whole thing out.
DanaC: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, DanaC."
Lookout123: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.
Monster: The only problem is we're running out of fuel. [scrunches the letter up and hands it to Infinite Monkey] IM, chuck it on the fire. [Infinite Monkey does so and all four scramble toward the fire, trying to get warm]

monster · 05-10-2011, 11:16 AM

DanaC · 05-10-2011, 11:17 AM

*applauds*

infinite monkey · 05-10-2011, 11:17 AM

Funny fucker! (No, I don't mean you should fuck someone named 'funny' or a clown--hey, does this clown fuck funny to you?)

monster · 05-10-2011, 11:18 AM

what are you s'posed to be doing, footsie? I'm s'posed to be cleaning..... and paperworking....

DanaC · 05-10-2011, 11:20 AM

Yeah....that reminds me...my thesis...

lookout123 · 05-10-2011, 11:21 AM

That's not funny. I don't have an accent. Wait - you didn't write my part with an accent? You didn't think I had the chops to pull it off. Well, screw you Mr I've-done-everything-in-the-world-but-die I sooooo could have pulled off an accent.

Where's my xanax?

SamIam · 05-10-2011, 11:33 AM

That's hilarious! Nice work, footx3!

monster · 05-10-2011, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

That's not funny. I don't have an accent. Wait - you didn't write my part with an accent? You didn't think I had the chops to pull it off. Well, screw you Mr I've-done-everything-in-the-world-but-die I sooooo could have pulled off an accent.

Where's my xanax?

I'd be more concerned about the costume....

lookout123 · 05-10-2011, 11:49 AM

Nah, that's ok. I was waxed yesterday.

monster · 05-10-2011, 11:50 AM

Don't forget yer Merkin, then

05-10-2011, 11:09 AM	#5
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	DanaC: I'm writing to Flint, see what you think, OK? "Dear Flint..." Monster: Yeah? DanaC: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far. Monster: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly. Infinite Monkey: I don't like the "dear". Sounds a bit too much like "will you go to bed with me?" DanaC: Nicely spotted, Infinite Monkey. What do you think instead? Infinite Monkey: What about "darling"? DanaC: "Darling Flint..." Lookout123: Oh, no, no, no, no! Not "Flint". It's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "fascist bully boy". DanaC: "Darling fascist bully boy..." Monster: That's nice, yeah, so far so good, so what do you want to say? DanaC: Well, basically I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that. Monster: Well, what about, "give me some more money"? Infinite Monkey: "You bastard" DanaC: Don't you think that's a bit strong? Monster: No, DanaC, people like that respect strength. DanaC: Yeah, you're right. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, DanaC." Infinite Monkey: Not "love, DanaC"! That sounds far too much like "come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine". DanaC: Yeah, you're right. Uh... What about "yours sincerely"? Lookout123: Oh, come off it, DanaC! If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers? DanaC: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not put "boomshanka"? Monster: Ahh... that's hard to tell, DanaC. What does it mean? DanaC: It means "may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman". Lookout123: Ah-ha! And WHAT makes you think your Flint's a man? DanaC: His beard. Monster: He'll never understand "boomshanka". You'll have to write the whole thing out. DanaC: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, DanaC." Lookout123: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will. Monster: The only problem is we're running out of fuel. [scrunches the letter up and hands it to Infinite Monkey] IM, chuck it on the fire. [Infinite Monkey does so and all four scramble toward the fire, trying to get warm] __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-10-2011, 11:16 AM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-10-2011, 11:18 AM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	what are you s'posed to be doing, footsie? I'm s'posed to be cleaning..... and paperworking.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-10-2011, 11:21 AM	#11
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	That's not funny. I don't have an accent. Wait - you didn't write my part with an accent? You didn't think I had the chops to pull it off. Well, screw you Mr I've-done-everything-in-the-world-but-die I sooooo could have pulled off an accent. Where's my xanax? __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

05-10-2011, 11:49 AM	#14
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Nah, that's ok. I was waxed yesterday. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

05-10-2011, 11:17 AM	#8
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Funny fucker! (No, I don't mean you should fuck someone named 'funny' or a clown--hey, does this clown fuck funny to you?)

05-10-2011, 11:33 AM	#12
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	That's hilarious! Nice work, footx3!

05-10-2011, 11:50 AM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Don't forget yer Merkin, then __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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