love em or hate em?

[staceyv]

undertoad, i can't believe you would think people don't like you. if you are the same in real life as you are here with your posts, anyone who doesn't like you is an idiot!

me? i just don't have any special urge to bond with people at all, and i guess they can sense it. i kind of want to be left alone, and i only like people that i know. i have my barriers that someone would have to get through for me to open up to them and be myself. i was much friendlier and open to people before i started waitressing, though!!
i'm different online. i like to talk to people online, i just don't like people in real life....but i bet i would like undertoad

[wolf]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
The fly in the ointment is none of us are qualified to help, except maybe Wolf.

Who is available in the event help is needed.

Actually I should qualify that ... I'm available in the sense that I will be able to facilitate any need for services. Professional ethics would require that any actual work involve one of my more than able coworkers ... but I'm here.

I'm also available just to hang out and shoot the shit.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally posted by wolf


Who is available in the event help is needed.

Actually I should qualify that ... I'm available in the sense that I will be able to facilitate any need for services. Professional ethics would require that any actual work involve one of my more than able coworkers ... but I'm here.

I'm also available just to hang out and shoot the shit.

And provide meds????

[Whit]

I'm also available just to hang out and shoot the shit.

      Come now Wolf, certainly we can find a more practical and less crude target than that? Empty beverage cans perhaps?

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by Shattered Soul
My point was only that if UT, or anyone else, for that matter, is unsatisfied with how their lives are going, they'll say, "YO! Fix me!" Otherwise, if someone's satisfied with how things are going at the time, you should be happy for 'em.

I've always thought that when someone needs help, that they will ask for it. I hate it when people try to be "helpful", and they are actually making the situation worse by trying to be helpful. That can get annoying sometimes.

Too often I run across people who presume to make judgements on the lives of others, saying that they're not living up to their potential, or that they're wasting their lives, or that they need to do this or that, merely because the individual they're speaking of is not where the speaker thinks they ought to be. It may come out of concern for said person, or it may come out of a desire to feel superior on the part of the person making the observation. Either way, it usually ends up with the accused slacker getting pissed off and/or defensive. .

That's exactly what I was talking about in my last statement.

[/quote]If people think that there are things in their lives that need fixing, they'll either ask for help, or fix it on their own (if it bothers them that much). If it doesn't bug them, then no amount of advice or therapy will make them change.[/quote]

Precisely.

Don't get me wrong. When it comes to things that affect other people adversely, like schizophrenia or other organic brain problems, sometimes it's necessary to take a hand. But if it's just something like a social phobia, or working at Burger King when you have a college degree, it's really nobody's place to fix you unless you ask them to. And telling them about it isn't the same as asking for help.

Well said. Couldn't snip a word.

[Elionwyr]

Originally posted by Undertoad
What you see with me is a careful treading about the social setting so that I don't step on any land mines. It's forced.

If I have a role, or have to be on stage, I kick ass. I've emceed several events where I spoke in front of hundreds of people, with just a few notes, and totally blew them away. But when I sat down at the table to eat dinner afterwards... nothing, I was spent and couldn't manage simple conversation.

This makes sense to me.

I'm pretty introverted myself, and would prefer to hide in the back and people-watch. I've learned to throw on a mental mask (for lack of a better way to put it) so that I can deal better in social situations, and it's gotten easier, but it's still pretty scary.

(I suffer from an anxiety disorder, as well. Which is better than it used to be, but it's still something that I struggle with.)

Oddly enough, I think that my part time jobs have also given me tools to help me deal with social situations. I work in haunted houses, and putting on a costume and role have helped me find a confidence I don't normally possess. Working at the museum have also helped, because the focus isn't on me - it's on the animals I'm working with.

I realize it's not the most common way to learn to deal. But when I was thrown into a role last October that had me not only ad-libbing in front of hundreds of people (in small groups, thank goodness), I was **terrified**..but I did it. Well, even.

/tangent mode off

[Elionwyr]

Originally posted by juju
Some people proudly proclaim that people have to "earn their respect".

I give everyone my full respect from the moment I encounter them, and then slowly take it away whenever they mess up. You may think this is crazy, but people LOVE being treated this way. They seem to crave it. People will always be cool to you if you respect them. Trust me, this is a winning strategy for dealing with people.

I give people courtesy.
Respect has to be earned.
..Mostly because I've had way too many people demand that I respect them at first meeting, and be completely undeserving of the level of respect they're expecting.

[darclauz]

Originally posted by FileNotFound
I almost always start out thinking that I'll like somebody and get along with them...from there it's a slow but steady realization that I hate the bastard and nothing would please me as much as to rend the flesh from his bones with my bare hands...

I start out realizing that they're human beings, they're all a part of our great world culture, and I hate them immediately.

they have to work hard to get past that.... earn my respect.

by the way, this is something i discovered working retail.