Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 250

xoxoxoBruce · 10-25-2010, 08:44 AM

An awful lot of people must have skipped 3rd grade.

Shawnee123 · 10-25-2010, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

.,.

Do you have a graphic dealing with to/too (or even two?)

monster · 10-25-2010, 09:05 AM

monster · 10-25-2010, 09:08 AM

Spexxvet · 10-25-2010, 09:27 AM

"You're more retarded than a dog with Downs" is very funny. Unfortunately, it's also incorrect. "Down Syndrome" or "Down's syndrome", according to wiki.

SteveDallas · 10-25-2010, 02:48 PM

When our civilization is sifted for relics by archaeologists of the 57th century, I'm convinced one of the great mysteries of our language will be the word "fuck," which will defy interpretation due to its use in so many different contexts.

Nirvana · 10-25-2010, 09:53 PM

In case you didn't know
All women are angels
And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly....

On a broomstick....

We are flexible like that.

footfootfoot · 10-25-2010, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Do you have a graphic dealing with to/too (or even two?)

No, the author of that stopped there, but if you want to write it, I can set the fancy type.

GunMaster357 · 10-26-2010, 04:49 AM

An old gnu was in a zoo.
A new gnu came.
The old gnu asked the new gnu the news.
But the new gnu knew no news.

A bit tricky for pronounciation...

Shawnee123 · 10-26-2010, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

No, the author of that stopped there, but if you want to write it, I can set the fancy type.

I will. It might take a while, but I shall meet your challenge and wait anxiously for the graphics.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-28-2010, 12:54 PM

Paddy is passing by Dan’s barn one day when through a gap in the door he sees Donald doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right rubber boot, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checkered shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

‘What on earth are you doing Dan’, says Paddy.

‘Jayzuz Paddy, ye frightened the livin’ shit out of me’ says an obviously embarrassed Donald.

‘Me and the missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.’

Pete Zicato · 10-28-2010, 02:10 PM

Amazon offers a product called the Wheelmate Steering Wheel Desk Tray. I don't think it's intended to be used while driving, but click on the customer images for a chuckle.

Happy Monkey · 10-28-2010, 02:32 PM

The reviews are good, too.

Shawnee123 · 10-28-2010, 02:41 PM

Oh lawd, didn't see the reviews before (but loved the pics)

Quote:

This awesome bit of kit changed my life. The extra hours of work I could get in whilst driving on the freeway has made me so much more productive. In fact I directly attribute this to my improved bonuses and recent promotion! If you want to get ahead, get one of these.

There is one problem though. In several accidents that I have had whilst using this, the airbag causes the laptop screen to slam shut. I've suffered several broken fingers because of this. I have started to look around for airbag finger protection but have not yet found any...

Shawnee123 · 10-28-2010, 02:50 PM

Quote:

I read some 4 and 5 star reviews by those who used this device successfully to change a baby while driving. On that basis, I bought one. I put my baby on it and drove for over an hour. It did not change. Same baby. I am glad it worked for some people but I will be returning mine. (The steering wheel desk.)

Quote:

You wouldn't believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I'm using it right now to post this review and I never

10-25-2010, 08:44 AM	#3736
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	An awful lot of people must have skipped 3rd grade. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-25-2010, 09:05 AM	#3738
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-25-2010, 09:08 AM	#3739
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-25-2010, 09:27 AM	#3740
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	"You're more retarded than a dog with Downs" is very funny. Unfortunately, it's also incorrect. "Down Syndrome" or "Down's syndrome", according to wiki. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-25-2010, 09:53 PM	#3742
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	All Women Are Angels In case you didn't know All women are angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.... On a broomstick.... We are flexible like that. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

10-25-2010, 02:48 PM	#3741
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	When our civilization is sifted for relics by archaeologists of the 57th century, I'm convinced one of the great mysteries of our language will be the word "fuck," which will defy interpretation due to its use in so many different contexts.

10-26-2010, 04:49 AM	#3744
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	An old gnu was in a zoo. A new gnu came. The old gnu asked the new gnu the news. But the new gnu knew no news. A bit tricky for pronounciation... __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

10-28-2010, 12:54 PM	#3746
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Paddy is passing by Dan’s barn one day when through a gap in the door he sees Donald doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right rubber boot, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers. Grabbing both sides of his checkered shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay. ‘What on earth are you doing Dan’, says Paddy. ‘Jayzuz Paddy, ye frightened the livin’ shit out of me’ says an obviously embarrassed Donald. ‘Me and the missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.’ __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-28-2010, 02:10 PM	#3747
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Amazon offers a product called the Wheelmate Steering Wheel Desk Tray. I don't think it's intended to be used while driving, but click on the customer images for a chuckle. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

10-28-2010, 02:32 PM	#3748
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	The reviews are good, too. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

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