Chores

[DucksNuts]

Part of my new year plan is to make these kids a little bit accountable.

I do everything because I like it done in a specific way, but I am prepared to let them do it, show them how I would like it done, or just re-do it when they arent around...but I dont have a lot of ideas as to what is age appropriate?

So, what chores do your kiddies do? do you have ideas for a 6 and 8 year old.

8 year old - very responsible and reliable.

6 year old - devil spawn.

I was thinking I would give the eldest $5 per week for his chores and the turd $4 per week, with bonus chores for extra earning abilities.

I have also been reading a book which says they should have 3 jars for their money to learn to look after it, divided into "pocket money", "short term goal", "long term savings".

Thoughts? suggestions?

For me, I had to get myself up and off to school alone from age 7 - so no chores besides feed the dogs, walk Dad's greyhounds in the morning and afternoon from age 9, plus feed them and maintain (for this I got a cut of the winnings - pffffft), then we were on the farm from age 10 - so gather eggs, feed chooks, maintain my horses. At age 12 I was milking 200 cows 5 nights a week to pay for horse gear, feed, and my own clothes etc.

Yes, my parents had cheap labour

[limey]

Sorry, but I don't think you should redo it when they aren't around - they're bound to notice and it'll undermine their motivation.
As someone who married quite late in life and didn't cohabit until I was 44, I recommend learning to accept their way of doing chores so long as the job is actually done (i.e. dishes are clean after being washed). I have no suggestions to make on who is capable of what in your household, having had no kids to train!!

[Sundae]

My chores at 6 were very simple.
Make my own bed, and at night throw my dirty clothes down the stairs, for Mum to pick up and put in the washing. Over time it became my responsibility to put them in the laundry basket (the dirty bin) myself.

From 8 or so it was my job to empty the bins in the bedroom every morning. Just wastepaper bins, but there would usually be something in there.
We would occasionally take turns drying up, but as we had to stand on a stool to reach the draining board and a chair to reach the cupboards where the crockery was kept it was not a standard chore.

From 10 I had a rabbit and had to give her food and water, let her out in the summer and of course clean her hutch.

From 11, walk the dog twice a day (I swapped this for the bins as walking her was a pleasure for me). And dry up after dinner. We started doing the washing and drying up between us consistently when Grandad came to live with us, he gave us 50p pocket money a week. I doubt that was a condition he imposed - it sounds far more likely to have come from Mum! But it really worked - we felt we were impressing G'dad with how helpful we were and the extra money was a big bonus. He carried on giving us pocket money when they got their own place and Nan moved up from London too. And we carried on washing and wiping up until we started eating separately.

From the time I started secondary school at 12 I did all my own ironing, as did my sister.
We were also solely responsible for cleaning our bedroom; which lead to many fights, some physical.
We both had paper-rounds at about this age too.

I never cooked at home.
I might make the occasional cake, but never a part or whole main meal, neither did my sister as I remember. I wish Mum had encouraged me more. She's grateful for the way I cook now as it's different than her, but I'd have liked to be able to make the English standards from an earlier age. She is happy to surrender the kitchen these days - tonight I am making ham and leek pie with the leftovers from our baked ham. I'll have it ready for when they come home from Mass.

It does depend on the child. There are five year olds in the class below who I would consider more responsible than some of the seven year olds in mine. And some who I can tell would love to "help" but would need supervision.

[Clodfobble]

We make use of a star chart rather than monetary allowance, because for all of mine the idea of the things they could buy is too vague to motivate them for more than a few moments after they think of a thing. A certain number of stars reaches a specific goal they've chosen beforehand--for the older ones, a new book or videogame they want, and for the younger ones, I keep a prize box stocked with toy cars and stuff. IMHO teaching money management is even harder than teaching responsibility with chores, and is better left until after the chores are routine.

As far as what they do... the 5-year-old wipes the table after meals, and sweeps the floor underneath the table with a little hand broom and dustpan. Sometimes he "helps" me vacuum, mostly by moving things out of my way as I go around the house. The 3-year-old just has to put her books away on the shelf each day, and both of them have to put away all the toys upstairs. 9 and 13 have to keep their rooms clean, and bring their laundry down when the basket is full, and sort it back into their drawers after I wash and fold it. 13 helps me with the dishes, and she likes to help me cook but it's really a hindrance. It only works when I make Mr. Clod come in and closely supervise her on small tasks while I am busy with the real cooking.

[BigV]

DucksNuts, this is about my favorite area of discussion, even moreso than politics, parenting.

Sadly, I have to leave this computer soon, so I won't be able to make a reply as windy and self important as I feel I must. There are those that will consider this good fortune.

However--I would like to reinforce something that Clodfobble said (an expert parent, by the way). Accountability through chores and money management are two different things, both difficult. At my home they are separate issues. Chores, you have chores, you have to do them. That's one negotiation/argument/parenting challenge. Money, here's your allowance, its your money. My PRINCIPAL reason for not tying these two together is that, honestly, SonofV lacks for no necessity. Those are my obligation to provide, and I would never deprive him of something he truly needed. What I hope to avoid by not connecting chores and allowance is the opportunity for SonofV to decline to do the chores because he didn't want the money.

If I connect them, they're connected, and he's free to use that connection too. Since I'm not willing to starve him, he can actually do without allowance. I won't give him that leverage.

More later, I love the three sections for money, I love a chart for chores, and yes, they need to do some work. There is no question of that.

[monster]

We also keep allowance and chores separate. Allowance can be lost for bad behaviour, extra can be earned for chores/work above and beyond the call of duty. Especially if unsolicited. We don't reward them every time, though -random reinforcement ....keep 'em keen.....

Can you involve them in the chore decision? Ask them what chores they prefer to do/feel good at? That may not result in the final list, but it could be a good starting point. Here chores are usually empty the recycling, scoop out the cats' litter box, they all have to put their own laundry away and keep their rooms tidy. Most chores are not set, -our lives are far from routine -but they know when we give them a task they damn well better do it. usually sorting a certain box/shelf/cupboard out or vacumming a certain area. We just in the last hour discovered Thor is good at cleaning windows. Guess what's going to feature more heavily in his list next year?

[kerosene]

Our kids are 10, 10 and 13...but since they were about 7, 7 and 10, we have given them the following chores (jobs):

feed animals
wash dishes (we don't have a dishwasher)
laundry folding
clean rooms and make beds
dust (if needed)
vacuum (if needed)
gather trash and replace trash bag (if fulll)
sweep kitchen

We usually give them 1$ per day if the chores get done without anyone asking them to do it. If they are asked to do it and they do it, they don't get paid. We try to link initiative with reward as much as possible. Sometimes we also offer extra opportunities to get paid by doing extra jobs like weeding the garden or helping clean the bathroom.

They are all pretty good about it. We use a whiteboard to keep track and they all like seeing the money stack up and having a pay day at the end of the week.

Oh yeah, and if it doesn't get done right the first time, we show them how to do it right until they get it.

[Sundae]

When I went to stay at my best friend's house in the school holidays, one of my treats was weeding the vegetable patch. It was one of her chores, but I couldn't think of anything better than sitting out in the sun, talking to her (and occasionally her Mum, who would drop by and do and bit) and doing something where you could really see an effect.

I'm sure L did it on gloomy days and damp days too, I just remember the sun.

I think it was also partly to do with the fact they were growing fresh food. I learned to like many vegetables there, especially mange tout, which still taste like freedom to me. L cooked a lot too, because of the hours her parents worked, and I envied her. Funny, I didn't realise that until my post about. No wonder I loved going there!

FTR - ham pie was awesome, had a slice for breakfast.

[DanaC]

Me and Mart didn't really have set chores growing up. There were things we often did. Like washing and drying the dishes after tea, for instance. Particularly if we'd had a sit down meal, rather than eating in front of the tv.

What we had in our house was a kind of all pitch in mentality. Levels of co-operation in this were variable, and there were occasions when nagging had to occur, and a certain amount of whining. Mostly though we did what we were asked to. 'Cause Mum or Dad were asking.

Often at weekend mum wuold have a big clean and tidy. It was kind of fun. She'd get the records playing loud so they filled the whole house and me, her and our kid, would set to. Mum attempting to inject a degree of competance and efficiency, though hampered somewhat by the occasional bits of larking around. It was great.

We were responsible for our own rooms. From quite an early age. Probably around 6 or 7 for me. Not sure for our kid as he was already 6 when I was born. From my perspectve he was always responsible :p But it wasn't mjor deal most of the time. Sometimes I'd let it get into a shit tip, particularly as i got to around 9 or 10, and Mum would have to chivvy me into action. Usually whilst she was tidying the rest of the upstairs.

Unfortunately I had a tendency to just get locked into rearranging the books in my bookcase and about an hour into the supposed tidy up she'd end up coming in and 'helping'.

The job I really liked doing was polishing the wooden furniture in the sitting room. Unlike the main living room (or 'Telly Room' as we affectionately called it) the sitting room was full of old furniture. A wooden cottage suite, with big cushions, and cabinets and little wooden statues. They used to shine up lovely with the polish.


Pocket money was a separate affair. As were the weekly comics we each had. It was sort of tied to generally being helpful and co-operative, and very rarely was it ever removed. Occasionally there'd be times when we could earn ourselves a little extra. But as others have said, money management was treated entirely separately from chores.

[DucksNuts]

The boys and I had a lengthy discussion and I know Tyler (elder) is dead keen, he wants to earn because money has been tight recently and they havent been kept in the manner I have accustomed them too - they dont need for anything, but they always want.

Tyler is a mad keen fisherman and wants new shiny reels and rods, plus they have xbox 360, wii and ps2, so there are always games they want.

Addi is very wanting and wont like his brother having money to get things, so he will do it to keep up with the Jones'.

At this stage, I am happy to link chores and pocket money as this is the first time they have really had set tasks and I think the money will keep them keen. There are new nerf guns released every week and we have to have every one of them.

Bedroom clean up and washing put out are every day occurences that I expect, they have been doing that for years, it doesnt really come into the chores list, plus we have a dishwasher and stupid kitchen set up which means I am stretching to put the crockery away, I sweep the floor twice a day (stupid beach sand) and we dont have a lot of carpet to vacuum.....so there are some limitations.

But their chore list looks as follows:
Tyler;
*Sort washing into wash piles (he loves to do the colours, darks, whites etc)
*Feed the cat (outside cat, no kitty litter)
*Rubbish out
*Water pot plants
*Put folded washing away

Addison;
*Bring in dogs bowls (both dogs are too big for him to feed them yet, they both sit and wait, but Jackson nearly drowns you in drool and will bowl you over once he gets the "OK" signal)
*Fill water bowls
*Water vegie garden
*Put folded washing away

We will have bonus earning chores, as they pop up.

We are having 2 sets of jars at this stage, "Pocket Money" and "Save for [random thing]".

They have both picked an item they wish to save for, both approx $50, which is on a sticker on the jar. I have given them a clipboard with spreadsheet on it so they can keep a running tally.

Both kids got $6 from Nanny on Sunday for helping her clean the car and both got $5 from my Brother when he won some money on the pokies....they have been divvied up between the jars and instead of all the loose change just laying around, they have collected it, divided equally and added to the tally.

Both are surprised at how much their loose change has added up too.

Here's hoping the shiny doesnt wear off too quick

Thanks guys.

[it]

hmm, my [xwife's] 5 years old offical chore was filling up the cat's water, but a few things where taken for granted - cleaning up after you play or eat, and for awhile independence in washing his hands certainly seemed like a chore from his perspective... on the other hand he used to help me in the kitchen - quite often very real help - and he never considered it a chore.

my plan was for a vagtable garden when we moved to a place with a yard, which he'd take part of. but that's because he's a very neat and clean boy (relatively to both me and his mother - possibly genetic, or might be his way of dealing with very chaotic parents), and i thought it was a good idea for him to learn how to get his hands dirty and have fun with it. plus i heard they can actually be surprisingly economical.

i'd say there's plenty of stuff that can be counted in, but when your counting them to avoid overload, remember that a lot of the things you take for granted and habitual might count as chores for your 6 years old.

edit: if your not ideological about it, you should consider trying to remove the chip from their console games or moving them to the pc, where games & movies only come with a price when you choose so.

[DanaC]

Sounds like a good plan. A negotiated plan that everyone is happy about and seemingly at exactly the right time for them, judging from their responses.

[Sundae]

Sounds perfectly suited to them

If Addi does well watering the veggies, you can send him over here on an exchange.
Dad is getting a bit old to water all the baskets and pots in the summer. I'll come to Oz and he can come here. Sadly this means he'll miss school, as our holidays are July-September, but Mum will read with him.

I'll take care of childcare and cooking in return.

Chores in a different place equal good fun (just look at camping)

[DanaC]

I fucking hate camping :p

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Sounds perfectly suited to them

If Addi does well watering the veggies, you can send him over here on an exchange.
Dad is getting a bit old to water all the baskets and pots in the summer. I'll come to Oz and he can come here. Sadly this means he'll miss school, as our holidays are July-September, but Mum will read with him.

I'll take care of childcare and cooking in return.

Chores in a different place equal good fun (just look at camping)

Im happy with that arrangement, Sundae. You are most welcome and we have a spare room.

Adz tends to water himself, the dogs and everything else BUT the vegies, but enough seems to sink in.

Tyler wants to cook and wash dishes, Im just not there yet. He helps me bake, but not cook so much. Addison has no interest whatsoever.