Oct 18, 2010: Swag Stash

[xoxoxoBruce]

OK, now all parents please leave this thread, now.
As a matter of fact, all adults please leave this thread.

Are they gone, kids? Yes? Good.
Now I want to set ya straight, and I wouldn’t bullshit ya, ‘cause were bestest friends, right?
Cool, now Hallowe’en is coming up and that’s the big candy score, so ya gotta be prepared.
I know I know, Christmas and Easter there’s a lot of candy around, but the big people are in control.
Hallowe’en is different, you get to control how much candy you can grab for your own, no sharesies.
First thing is, ya probably won’t be able to make trips. Nope, one shot is all you’ll get, make it count.
That means your swag stash has gotta be the best.

Lookie here...



Now over at myscienceproject they did this all scientifical...

In designing our experiment, we wanted to account for the typical assortment of candies you might receive while trick-or-treating. Unless you live in a really upscale neighborhood, it’s not likely that you’re going to come home with a bag full of chocolate bars. Halloween candy can be roughly divided into three categories: “premium” (fun-sized candy bars), “meh” (chewy boxed candies like Milk Duds), and “bottom of the barrel” (hard candy, gumballs, Dum Dum pops). We weren’t so concerned with the quality of the candy as we were interested in its density and volume; a mini Baby Ruth bar, for example, is heavier relative to volume than a box of malt balls. For that reason, we tried to recreate a representative variety of treats, with about equal amounts (by weight) of top, middle, and lower tier candies.

As we loaded each receptacle, we mixed the candies and tossed them in by the handful, rather than just dumping in bag after bag. This was to give the pieces a natural “loft” and spatial distribution.

See, loft and spatial distribution, told ya it was scientifical. The pillowcase is king!

The next thing is, don’t bring it all home.
The big people will freak out about sugar, and start rationing, you know, you’ve heard it all before.
Then when ya go to bed, they eat all your good shit, like they think ya won’t notice a few pieces.
But those few pieces are always the chocolate bars, the big bullies.
So hide half in the shed, or someplace, but make sure the rats and squirrels can’t get it, they’re worse than the big people.

OK, now you’re all set, and don’t tell the big people about this... you know, like before.
That worked out ok, didn’t it?
I mean everything healed ok and all, right?
Cool.