The Cellar 'Home base' academy awards...

[pensive pam]

Being new here, I would like some insight - so as to get to know a lot of you better. I have been banished from other websites because of prejudice matter, (since I a foreign and 70% deaf.) And I cannot express my sincere gratitude to Mr. Undertoad, Wolf, and DanaC, that have accepted me. Many of you have been here for years, so you know each others personality. So may I ask you this???

1) Who would you most like to meet on here?
2) Who is the most compassionate poster on here?
3) Who is the smartest poster on here?
4) Who is the happiest person on here?
5) Who is a poster that could use a big hug?
6) Who is the poster that has very meanigful posts?

Wishing you all the very best!!!
Pam.

[monster]

How in the fuck can you be banished from an online forum for being deaf?

[jimhelm]

pam, come to chat. I'd like to speak to you in real time.

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by monster

How in the fuck can you be banished from an online forum for being deaf?

I was made fun of and got very upset after a long time of the abuse. So I said some very not nice things. Nothing personal, I just fought back.

Pam.

[monster]

Originally Posted by pensive pam

I was made fun of and got very upset after a long time of the abuse. So I said some very not nice things. Nothing personal, I just fought back.

Pam.

So you weren't banned for being deaf, but for being unpleasant.

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by monster

So you weren't banned for being deaf, but for being unpleasant.

I was very kind, but there were posters that had been on that site for years. I was new to the site. So the webmaster sided with other people that were more tenured than me. Being an outcast in real life is very difficult for me; but it is even more hurtful when people you do not know end up rejecting me.

I will never return to that site...and I know at times I seem very sad and upset here; but I have been kind/nice to everyone...and hope I have found a 'home' to express myself...

Your friend,
Pam.

[monster]

Here's the thing (not hears, note). You clearly have issues about your disability. An online forum is one of the places where you can totally be equal. No sound required. So why did you mention it, why did you let it escalate? I call attention ho.

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by monster

Here's the thing (not hears, note). You clearly have issues about your disability. An online forum is one of the places where you can totally be equal. No sound required. So why did you mention it, why did you let it escalate? I call attention ho.

I mentioned it because that is why I was made fun of. It escaleted because I did not do anything until it was too late. I have seen people shot, stabbed, mugged, and run over. That's what happens living where I do. But I let my emotions get the best of me. I called many people on that site 'hicks.' Because most of them live out West and in the South. The Webmaster was from the South, and did not take kindly. The way I was treated there was inhuman...

Your friend,
Pam.

[kerosene]

I am a hick and an American Woman.

[Nirvana]

The Martyr Victim Complex Described

By Charles Shahar Posted: 07.06.2006

The martyr is one who employs self-sacrifice and victimization as a way of avoiding to take responsibility for their life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibility for everyone else's life.

They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world.

They consider themselves a light to the world, a shining example of how a good and selfless person should behave. They honestly believe they are a model of virtue. They also believe that their goodness will eventually "rub off" on others. If they are abused and mistreated, they will suffer such indignities, because eventually their tormenter will see the error of their ways, and recognize what a special human being they are hurting.

Martyrs are often attracted to difficult and abusive people. They have a compulsive need to change them, make these people good, and make them appreciate and respect them. They pick spouses who are brutal or intolerant, who lack a conscience, who deceive and manipulate them, and who resist the martyr’s efforts to reform them. It is interesting that they unconsciously choose to be around impossible people, and that their efforts to rehabilitate the latter are doomed to fail.

The victim role is an important component of a martyr complex. It justifies in their mind that others are responsible for their pain. They engage in compulsive blaming to reinforce this conviction. The blaming functions to deflect the basic neurotic tendency of their behavior: They set themselves up to be victims. They do this to avoid taking responsibility for their life, but also to show that their own behavior is beyond criticism.

LINK

[monster]

why did you mention it on that forum? That was my question.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Nirvana

The Martyr Victim Complex Described

By Charles Shahar Posted: 07.06.2006

The martyr is one who employs self-sacrifice and victimization as a way of avoiding to take responsibility for their life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibility for everyone else's life.

They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world.

They consider themselves a light to the world, a shining example of how a good and selfless person should behave. They honestly believe they are a model of virtue. They also believe that their goodness will eventually "rub off" on others. If they are abused and mistreated, they will suffer such indignities, because eventually their tormenter will see the error of their ways, and recognize what a special human being they are hurting.

Martyrs are often attracted to difficult and abusive people. They have a compulsive need to change them, make these people good, and make them appreciate and respect them. They pick spouses who are brutal or intolerant, who lack a conscience, who deceive and manipulate them, and who resist the martyr’s efforts to reform them. It is interesting that they unconsciously choose to be around impossible people, and that their efforts to rehabilitate the latter are doomed to fail.

The victim role is an important component of a martyr complex. It justifies in their mind that others are responsible for their pain. They engage in compulsive blaming to reinforce this conviction. The blaming functions to deflect the basic neurotic tendency of their behavior: They set themselves up to be victims. They do this to avoid taking responsibility for their life, but also to show that their own behavior is beyond criticism.

LINK

awesome. Not Pam, but hits home in dwellars near you!

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by kerosene

I am a hick and an American Woman.

From your writing style, I thought you were a man (no offense.) But I really do not have an issue with 'hicks.' It is just the fact that people were saying things like: 'What is a deaf girl doing living in NY?' And they would say also: 'Do you wear you're IPOD on the subway, just to make others believe you are not DEAF?' It was brutal. so I told this one girl from Georgia that she was a 'hick' and that the nearest paved road was probably 50 miles from her house.
she flagged the post and yes, I will admit, I did get banned for that.

Pam.

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by Nirvana

The Martyr Victim Complex Described

By Charles Shahar Posted: 07.06.2006

The martyr is one who employs self-sacrifice and victimization as a way of avoiding to take responsibility for their life. They are prepared, however, to take responsibility for everyone else's life.

They are invariably unhappy and unfulfilled because they deny their own needs for the sake of others. They view life as a struggle, and themselves as a bastion of righteousness in an ungrateful world.

They consider themselves a light to the world, a shining example of how a good and selfless person should behave. They honestly believe they are a model of virtue. They also believe that their goodness will eventually "rub off" on others. If they are abused and mistreated, they will suffer such indignities, because eventually their tormenter will see the error of their ways, and recognize what a special human being they are hurting.

Martyrs are often attracted to difficult and abusive people. They have a compulsive need to change them, make these people good, and make them appreciate and respect them. They pick spouses who are brutal or intolerant, who lack a conscience, who deceive and manipulate them, and who resist the martyr’s efforts to reform them. It is interesting that they unconsciously choose to be around impossible people, and that their efforts to rehabilitate the latter are doomed to fail.

The victim role is an important component of a martyr complex. It justifies in their mind that others are responsible for their pain. They engage in compulsive blaming to reinforce this conviction. The blaming functions to deflect the basic neurotic tendency of their behavior: They set themselves up to be victims. They do this to avoid taking responsibility for their life, but also to show that their own behavior is beyond criticism.

LINK

This is very true of me; but at least I admit it...

Your friend,
Pam.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by pensive pam

1) Who would you most like to meet on here?
2) Who is the most compassionate poster on here?
3) Who is the smartest poster on here?
4) Who is the happiest person on here?
5) Who is a poster that could use a big hug?
6) Who is the poster that has very meanigful posts?

That would be me.

I'm modest, too.