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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 02-10-2009, 02:25 AM   #1
Juniper
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How Do You Do It???

This is what I want to know. How the hell do working moms do it all? Seriously.

How do you get your kids off to school/daycare, work 8 hours, come home, make dinner, stock the cabinets and fridge, keep up with laundry, keep your house from turning into a pigsty, help kids with homework, cart them to their activities, make sure bills get paid, etc., etc., etc.

AND do things like read books, do crafts for your own fun, take photos and videos and keep them reasonably organized and updated, keep up with extended family members' birthdays, and somehow keep your spouse from pouting about lack of attention?

I totally don't get it.

I don't even work 8 hours away from home. I'm at school 5-6 hours a day. I kinda-sorta keep up with laundry, we eat junky fast food a lot, my house is a pigsty and I'm way behind on everything else.

I feel like I'm getting buried in quicksand. Stuff-to-do is just piling up around me, suffocating me. My family said they'd help. They do help. But they're busy too.

Yet I see many other families who do this - two working parents, and houses that are tastefully decorated, organized and sparkly clean.

Granted it would help if we did not have eight animals in the house. Hm. I could really do without scooping cat poop and mopping the laundry room floor twice a week.

Otherwise I'm at a loss and I thank you for listening to me vent.
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Old 02-10-2009, 03:02 AM   #2
Aliantha
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I think it's really hard to raise kids as well as both work and do all the other stuff that needs doing. In fact, I believe it's impossible to do everything and do it well. Something always has to give, and everyone prioritizes differently. When I was a single mum I was studying full time and working part time off and on. It was hard to get everything done and often I didn't. The kids were great though. Because it was just the three of us for quite a few years, we sort of worked out a routine, and in all honesty, some people would say I asked too much of them, but they're both turning into really wonderful young adults, so I'd do it the same again if I had to.

At one stage, Dazza and I were both working full time (and his idea of full time is about 70 hours a week or more) mine was about 35 to 40 hours. We noticed that the kids were suffering a bit...going off the rails, so we tightened our belts and I gave up my job. That was a couple of years ago now, and I think it was the best thing in the end. The kids are doing well, and they're our priority moreso than anything else.

Everyone does things their own way, but believe it when I say that even the houses where everything looks perfect all the time just simply aren't. We all put on faces individually and collectively.

Just as long as you're all healthy and happy, that's all that matters. If you want my opinion anyway.
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Old 02-10-2009, 05:33 AM   #3
Griff
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At our house it comes down to division of labor and planning. In their early years we didn't find it financially or emotionally worthwhile to do the daycare thing. I stayed home, took care of the kids, and built the place. We both work now.

You have to find methods that work for you as a couple based on your personalities. Find out which jobs you feel are oppressing you and see if its something that can be split up. I know stay-at-home Moms who can't get their work done but it is generally a planning issue. We try to limit our runaround time by focusing on a few activities that the kids really like rather than trying to do everything. Good luck and take heart, nobody gets it all done.
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