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Philosophy Religions, schools of thought, matters of importance and navel-gazing |
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08-14-2010, 09:46 PM | #16 |
has a second hand user title
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in a Nut House
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love is never having to say you're sorry for putting it in the bad place without a warning.
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And now I'm finished posting. |
08-14-2010, 10:55 PM | #17 |
Beware of potatoes
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate NY, USA
Posts: 2,078
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I read the Peck book years ago. It was a little to new age for me back then, but he had a few good points. I agree more with what the Cellarites have to say about love than I agree with Peck. Of course, I've been divorced for many years, but that's because my cupcake got transformed into a murderous dragon.
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"I believe that being despised by the despicable is as good as being admired by the admirable." |
08-15-2010, 06:50 AM | #18 | |
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Quote:
I don't know if that even makes sense. Been thinking a lot about this thread...it's a worthy discussion.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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08-15-2010, 07:00 AM | #19 | |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Quote:
I don't really see the connection between your statement and the quote. I included that quote because it reinforces the message that love is an act, not an intent. Nothing to do with who has more 'power' or who is taking advantage of it... She was addressing the way I have tried to substitute my intentions for my actions. I say I want us to be together forever, but I did unconscious things that belied that desire. I want to be thin, but I did still eat at Burger King. She sees very clearly (because I've done so repeatedly) that I am capable of making very grandiose and poignant statements of love and commitment. She has also seen me behave in a way that contradict those statements enough times to realize that I tend to forget those promises eventually. If I would Kill a Dragon for her, why the hell wouldn't I do something as mundane as sticking to a diet? At this point, i think it was because I unconsciously wanted to feed my addictions more than I consciously wanted to be loving, attentive, desirable and lovable. That may or may not be at the root of what needs to be changed inside me.... but it definitely needs to be changed. My intent and my actions have been at odds. This had the added impact of causing my wife to wonder WHY. WHY would I NOT want to be loving more than i want to (eat/drink/sneak)? All i can say is that it is my damage, not hers, and I am very ashamed that my actions caused her that kind of pain and self doubt. My inner view and self discipline had become nearly nonexistent. I have always struggled with discipline. Hopefully this experience and shock will help me to make a lasting change to the way I prioritize my life and how clearly I see myself. To be capable of demonstrating my love, I must be aware of the things I do, and consistent in what I say about the way I feel. I need to be accountable in my actions for the words I use. Sorry to be such a one trick pony lately, but this is pretty much all that's on my mind. I think it helps me to organize my thoughts when I write things like this out.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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08-15-2010, 07:10 AM | #20 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
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I, for one, very much like this new introspective, thoughtful Lumberjim.
So much that I even held back making wisecracks about Love is saying no to a big mac, and stuff. Also, it wasn't very funny.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
08-15-2010, 08:28 AM | #21 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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J helps me to notice that my previous relationship was all about power and it doesn't apply to everyone's relationship so deeply. Also I don't know your situation well enough to comment, so it was not necessarily addressing you.
You have more discipline than me. When I was faced with a two hour commute it drove me completely fuckin' insane and I quit after six months for a job that paid 40% less. To me, the modern-day equivalent to dragon killing is commuting... maybe it's even worse. You slay the dragon, good, it's over and done with -- but with commuting, you've just got to wake up the next day and do it again. Fuuuuuuhh..... You say your intent and your actions have been at odds. J points out "that's everybody's struggle". |
08-15-2010, 09:06 AM | #22 |
Rapscallion
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
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many truths?
Sorry to butt in but ive just found this site while i was googling what a tim tam was, i thought it was something exciting
Anyways interesting topic, so what its kind of led up to is that every relationship has a modern day "slaying the dragon" when it comes to true love, and does that mean that it isnt true love if we found out we had to slay a dragon every day for the rest of our lives? or do we just agree to the terms of slaying this dragon as unconsiously we know we would never have to do it? its all confusing to me as i believe there are no such things as wrong answers as it something makes sense to someone isnt it real? there are many truths as they say. |
08-15-2010, 10:31 AM | #23 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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What's a tim tam?
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08-15-2010, 11:15 AM | #24 | |||||
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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I don't know enough about your relationship to have any real insight so I'll just throw some thoughts out for discussion/reflection.
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Who is Tim?
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08-15-2010, 12:26 PM | #25 |
Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
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Everybody has struggles with lots of different things. When those struggles are associated with considerable personal or social disruptions they can be classified as disorders - they cause dis-order in a person's life.
How to fix these disorders is the key/question.
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Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. |
08-15-2010, 12:48 PM | #26 |
Slattern of the Swail
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
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some kind of Aussie cookie, I believe.
As for love - I know nothing. cookies - I know.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum |
08-15-2010, 12:52 PM | #27 |
Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
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Yes, it's a cookie. Ducks sent us some real aussie ones, way better than the Pepridge Farm rip-offs.
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Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. |
08-15-2010, 12:56 PM | #28 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
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^^^ That makes sense. It's like, shyness is a struggle many people have (40%), but social anxiety disorder is a disorder.
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08-15-2010, 03:02 PM | #29 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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There's also the added aspect of knowing that is one's struggle in the first place, versus believing (consciously or subconsciously) that one's intentions are sufficient.
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08-15-2010, 05:40 PM | #30 |
Rapscallion
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 5
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lol yes a tim tams a biscuit, over here in the uk we have penguin biscuits looks like them but thicker.
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