My Poetry

Odd_Bloke · 05-29-2003, 08:24 PM

I'm bored, so I thought I'd subject y'all to some of my poetry. Please tell me what you think of it etc. and feel free to rip it to shreds. Remember, you are probably on the other side of the pond to me.

I Think

I know how I feel.
This life is not unreal.
I know myself,
Without a doubt.
I think.

My love for you is true,
I'll never love another.
I could never,
With my undying love for you.
I think.

You make me feel giddy,
Happy and spinning,
I love to be around you,
And hate to be separate.
I think.

But this worrying is pointless.
I know you.
I know myself.
I know me.
I think.

I think,
And yet thoughts don't come.
I'm confused.
I don't know what I know.

I think.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-29-2003, 08:54 PM

Quote:

subject y'all to some of my poetry.

Y'all? Y'ALL?!?! You must be from southern England.

Odd_Bloke · 05-29-2003, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce

Y'all? Y'ALL?!?! You must be from southern England.

Nah, all these Yanks are having an effect on me. :p

elSicomoro · 05-29-2003, 10:13 PM

Good poem.

If you thought it funny that OB typed "y'all," imagine him saying it.

zippyt · 06-03-2003, 05:32 PM

He did use it properly though,, ya'll is plural not singlur like most of you YANKIES tend to think

Happy Monkey · 06-04-2003, 10:26 AM

Apparently in Yankeeish, the plural of y'all is all y'all.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-04-2003, 05:55 PM

Quote:

He did use it properly though,, ya'll is plural not singlur like most of you YANKIES tend to think

Whoa nellie. Wait one damn minute here. Let's get this shit straight.
1- If you are in Europe, Americans are Yanks not Yankies(sp)
2- If you are in the USA; Northerners are Yankees.
Southerners are Rebels or Rebs.
3- Rebs say y'all.

Class dismissed.

zippyt · 06-04-2003, 09:33 PM

Y'all is the same as youz'guys and yennz' ,
and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,
Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!

wolf · 06-05-2003, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zippyt

and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,

But with fewer guns and nowhere near the amounts of ice tea and mint juleps.

Quote:

Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!

Granted.

That Guy · 06-05-2003, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zippyt
Y'all is the same as youz'guys and yennz' ,
and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,,
Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!!

What about the manner in which one types or writes?

Zippyt, if you were a superhero, I'd call you the Comma-nicator. And you would have the power to pause (not stop) time.

Torrere · 06-05-2003, 05:33 PM

Ooh! This is a fun poem. I like it.

Odd_Bloke · 06-05-2003, 06:18 PM

As people aren't really talking about the poem anymore, I'll post another one. I'd appreciate some poetic feedback on this rather than just random discussion.

The Quiet One

I'm the quiet one,
I just get ignored.
I'm the good one,
I'm not interesting enough to draw attention.

I'm the normal one,
I can't stand out.
I'm the tidy one,
I can't be nagged at.

Everyday I'm just passed by.
Everyday I just get pats on the back,
And a belated "Well done",
Everyday the same.

But there's more to me,
Than the quiet one,
More than just a boring face.
Look at me everybody!

I can slit my wrists!

I'm not the quiet one anymore,
I scream out in pain.
I feel faint and fall to the floor.
I'm the quiet one no more.

No more to be ignored,
No more to be passed over,
Well, maybe just once more.
I'll always be remembered,

As the quiet one who went wrong.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-05-2003, 06:31 PM

Quote:

No more to be passed over,

Except by the lawnmower.

wolf · 06-06-2003, 01:26 AM

I liked it O_B.

Representative of the experiences of a lot of folks I see. Strong emotional content ... really captures the moment(s).

05-29-2003, 08:24 PM	#1
Odd_Bloke Resident Denizen Join Date: May 2003 Location: Peterborough, UK Posts: 60	My Poetry I'm bored, so I thought I'd subject y'all to some of my poetry. Please tell me what you think of it etc. and feel free to rip it to shreds. Remember, you are probably on the other side of the pond to me. I Think I know how I feel. This life is not unreal. I know myself, Without a doubt. I think. My love for you is true, I'll never love another. I could never, With my undying love for you. I think. You make me feel giddy, Happy and spinning, I love to be around you, And hate to be separate. I think. But this worrying is pointless. I know you. I know myself. I know me. I think. I think, And yet thoughts don't come. I'm confused. I don't know what I know. I think. __________________ "I am after all," said Pooh, "a bear of little brain." - A.A. Milne

06-03-2003, 05:32 PM	#5
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	He did use it properly though,, ya'll is plural not singlur like most of you YANKIES tend to think __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-04-2003, 10:26 AM	#6
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	That's YANKEEs Apparently in Yankeeish, the plural of y'all is all y'all. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

06-04-2003, 09:33 PM	#8
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Y'all is the same as youz'guys and yennz' , and wisconsin is notheing more than northern Alabama,,, Folks are the same all over no matter how you speak ,, FACT !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-05-2003, 06:18 PM	#12
Odd_Bloke Resident Denizen Join Date: May 2003 Location: Peterborough, UK Posts: 60	As people aren't really talking about the poem anymore, I'll post another one. I'd appreciate some poetic feedback on this rather than just random discussion. The Quiet One I'm the quiet one, I just get ignored. I'm the good one, I'm not interesting enough to draw attention. I'm the normal one, I can't stand out. I'm the tidy one, I can't be nagged at. Everyday I'm just passed by. Everyday I just get pats on the back, And a belated "Well done", Everyday the same. But there's more to me, Than the quiet one, More than just a boring face. Look at me everybody! I can slit my wrists! I'm not the quiet one anymore, I scream out in pain. I feel faint and fall to the floor. I'm the quiet one no more. No more to be ignored, No more to be passed over, Well, maybe just once more. I'll always be remembered, As the quiet one who went wrong. __________________ "I am after all," said Pooh, "a bear of little brain." - A.A. Milne

05-29-2003, 10:13 PM	#4
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Good poem. If you thought it funny that OB typed "y'all," imagine him saying it.

06-05-2003, 05:33 PM	#11
Torrere a real smartass Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Kirkland, WA Posts: 1,121	Ooh! This is a fun poem. I like it.

06-06-2003, 01:26 AM	#14
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I liked it O_B. Representative of the experiences of a lot of folks I see. Strong emotional content ... really captures the moment(s). __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)