What's mildly amusing you today?

[dar512]

I'm in the basement working at home today. Shila, our beagle, is on the floor above working on her morning nap. She's snoring like a diesel. It's loud even here in the basement.

[Trilby]

Beautiful.

[Sundae]

Shopping in Sainsbury's with Ma today.

They were away for the weekend, and I'm always at risk of drinking then. I tamed the cravings this time by laying into the Ma's stash of Caffeine Free Diet Coke cans. About ten. Not great for the teeth, but I could sleep and didn't bump into anything.

So I promised to buy her replacements along with my usual fortnightly shop. She wanted to come into town without Dad anyway, to get his Christmas present.

We're at the checkout. Mum is putting light things in her bag and I am loading the bottles, cans etc into my shopping trolley.

All of a sudden, from the perspective of Mum & the cashier, something is squirting them. Their inital suspect is a little boy who has been running up and down making a ruckus. Nope. It was a six-pack of said Coke which had just been scanned and I was about to pack.

I knew where it was coming from - I was trying to contain it in a bag. Everyone else squirted was just in complete shock.

Now I hadn't touched it at that point. And the cashier certainly hadn't manhandled it. All I can assume is that one of the cans had been damaged earlier and it just took a while for the pressure in the can to erupt.

Now the six cans were bound together in a plastic sleeve. Which means the high pressure squirt action went in about three different directions. It hit Mum, the cashier, the cashier working back to back with her, the other people in the queue, people walking along and all the shopping on the belt.

The person most unscathed? Me. I was behind it to an extent, and was wrangling it into a bag to try to stop the arterial-style spurting.

Poor lady on checkout. EVERYTHING was coated in Coke. Her till, her hair, her uniform, the belt, the area for packing bags etc. It will dry sticky and I bet there'll be sticky parts becoming apparent for weeks to come.

We could go home and change. She had to sit there til the end of her shift! Good job it's December, so at least she doesn't have to worry about wasps.

Mum and I left the supermarket in a state of near shock. But we consoled ourselves in a local hostelry (actually this was always the plan - we called it our works' outing). The great thing was, no-one was really to blame. At least none of the protagonists. So our humour, when it came, was untainted by guilt or annoyance.

And every time we pictured the Coke going a gusher and drenching all those other people we did start giggling. We're simple people really.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Good job it's December, so at least she doesn't have to worry about wasps.

Instead she becomes a human Slurpee. (Do you guys have Slurpee?)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slurpee

[Clodfobble]

Ahh, yes.

About 6 months ago, I was letting Minifob help me with the groceries. He tried to carry and subsequently dropped a twelve-pack of sodas. The thin cardboard paper wrapping tore open, and no fewer than four cans burst open and began spraying wildly as they rolled across the tile floor in opposite directions. Of course as they rolled they generated a sprinkler effect where the spray cycled up and around, and in the end I was cleaning soda off the hanging light fixture.

At the time I was not at all amused.

[TheMercenary]

It was 77 degrees here to today. Some storms, hard rain, then clear skys. It is 9 pm and 70 degrees. This is the stuff big storms are made of.

[Clodfobble]

From the instructions on a recent prescription: "Unwrap and insert one suppository per rectum."

Fortunately, he doesn't have more than one.

[ZenGum]

This story about bedbug bed-buggery at NewScientist.

The story is mildly amusing, but the comments discussion is gold! Be sure to read all comments.

[TheMercenary]

WTF it was 81 today. Damm I think this global warming tin foil hat stuff may have merit. How was the weather in NY today. Oh I know cold as hell.

Expected to be 56 in the am.

Winter is upon us.

[ZenGum]

Student evaluation of teaching comments.

"An increasing is my think's logic."

I was not responsible for teaching them English.

[Juniper]

For the past few days, my male cat Sterling has been trying to mate with my female cat Daisy. On the ironing board, in my office/sewing room.

Both are neutered, of course, and Sterling really hasn't any idea what to do after he sinks his teeth into her neck scruff, so he just kind of stands there over her looking confused - but determined to do *something* - until she gets fed up, turns around and whacks him.

She puts up with this because, otherwise, they are best buddies.

This is all the more amusing because it takes place on the ironing board, which is not particularly sturdy. I had to move the iron because they kept knocking it off.

Now that their nightly drama has been accomplished, they're engaged in mutual grooming of each other's heads, which is really cute. It's like Daisy is thinking, "I have no idea what you're trying to do, but I love you anyway."

Come to think of it, I've often thought the same thing.

[TheMercenary]

Our cattle dog keeps stealing Christmas ornaments from the tree and table tops. He is killing at least 2 or more a day. I am quitely amused. But I pretend to be angry for my wife's sake and to support her anger.

[Sundae]

Juni, my lost cat Dylan grew up with the studs (at the breeder's house.)
Although he was neutered, he learned their behaviour.

Diz was always the dominant cat, the alpha if you like (although cats don't have a pack hierarchy in the same way dogs do) but he was brought up with the queens.

So the whole time I had them both, Dylan would occasionally mount Diz, biting his neck and making him submit.

And yet Diz got first dibs on food, first choice at sleeping place and could chase Dylan off my lap by jumping up and edging him off cuckoo style.

Animal pecking orders are more complicated than we think!

[glatt]

Just got a call from my wife. She was at the grocery store to pick up some mozzarella cheese and some cold cuts for the weekend. It's a work day, mid morning, and apparently the entire county is stocking up on groceries. We are supposed to get between 6 inches and a foot of snow tomorrow. I knew there would be a rush on the grocery stores before the storm, but I thought it wouldn't be until tonight. It's kind of quiet here at work. I think people are actually blowing off work this morning so they can hoard groceries.

She said that people are standing by the front door and following others with carts back to their cars so they can get their shopping carts after they unload their groceries.

She left in disgust. Maybe we won't be having homemade pizza tonight. I think I put this in the wrong thread. I started off mocking all the crazy people, but now I'm a little irritated when I think about no pizza tonight.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Juni, my lost cat Dylan grew up with the studs (at the breeder's house.)
Although he was neutered, he learned their behaviour.

Diz was always the dominant cat, the alpha if you like (although cats don't have a pack hierarchy in the same way dogs do) but he was brought up with the queens.

So the whole time I had them both, Dylan would occasionally mount Diz, biting his neck and making him submit.

And yet Diz got first dibs on food, first choice at sleeping place and could chase Dylan off my lap by jumping up and edging him off cuckoo style.

Animal pecking orders are more complicated than we think!

that's just what Atomic and Demeter are like